Soleil swallows the MOon

i really need your help. i saw this brazilian guy last nite and he sends me so many mixed signals. like last nite he was like messing around, with his shirt off, on top of me, and then he notices i like it and he like stops. it's so annoying, he's messing with me head. and then i wanted to like continue messing around, instead of going to the movies, and then next thing i know he's like we'll go to the movie next week, i have to go to the market right now, and that's it, no movie, no messing around. i'm so sad right now because i've been obsessing about this guy, sometimes it seems like he likes me, other times no, and i just want to cuddle with someone cause it's getting cold. last year i didn't care if i was single, now it's killing me because i feel like i have no friends and i have to compensate with a guy. and i tried to make this guy into like my bf/friend and it's not working out. the reason i hung out with him last nite is because he said he was feeling sick on saturday, which is the day he prmised to hang out, and when he said he was sick and couldn't hang out, i was crying. CRYING. i was so depressed over this guy for flaking on me and so i cried. am i mental case?

i really need your help. i saw this brazilian guy last nite and he sends me so many mixed signals. like last nite he was like messing around, with his shirt off, on top of me, and then he notices i like it and he like stops. it's so annoying, he's messing with me head. and then i wanted to like continue messing around, instead of going to the movies, and then next thing i know he's like we'll go to the movie next week, i have to go to the market right now, and that's it, no movie, no messing around. i'm so sad right now because i've been obsessing about this guy, sometimes it seems like he likes me, other times no, and i just want to cuddle with someone cause it's getting cold. last year i didn't care if i was single, now it's killing me because i feel like i have no friends and i have to compensate with a guy. and i tried to make this guy into like my bf/friend and it's not working out. the reason i hung out with him last nite is because he said he was feeling sick on saturday, which is the day he prmised to hang out, and when he said he was sick and couldn't hang out, i was crying. CRYING. i was so depressed over this guy for flaking on me and so i cried. am i mental case?

hi. Im sorry about what happened. I know how hard it is especially the first two weeks of breaking up. you should give her space for at least two months. Thats enough time I think for her to get out of her state of confusion and to make a rational decision. Think of what Einstein once said " We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them" I think that you gotta be smart about dealing with this. Any wrong move can seriously screw your chances of getting back together. I have devised a plan for you: 1. Tell her you want your space and that you dont want to talk to her or see her for a while. Make it brief and to the point. Its always best to be short and concise. It has more impact. Do not do this in person, you might chicken out when you see her. Whats the best way? Seriously, an email. I know it sounds bad, but its the safest way cuz you'll avoid having to explain things to her and go back on your decision. Send her a poem if you want. Here is a good one : columbia.edu/~gm84/gibran2.html 2. Erase yourself from her life for two months. That should give her time to think things thru and to miss you. (its been two months since I broke up with my bf, we havent talked or seen each other. Ive done lots of thinking and realized how much I love him. and right now I miss him so much that if he asked me to marry him, I would but he hasnt come back.) 3. It would be nice if you had a "source" that knew her and could tell you how she is coping. After two months, go to her and ask her if she wants to start over. If the answer is yes, you gotta do all you can to make the relationship last until she turns 24 and then you propose. GOSH ! I think I figured your life out for you and i dont even know you ~ actually, I have to study right now and im totally procrastinating

if youve never had an orgasm then how do you know you're almost there? to get an orgasm try getting a vibrator and spend an entire day with yourself, youll get it.

Imagine this: You take a really hot shower, have no time to dry your body, you just put on your tight shirt and pants, then you go have pancakes with syrup and all the syrup sticks to your hair, you have no time to clean it up. You then put on an itchy sweater with a long neck and run to school in high heels. Then you sit down in class for two hours taking an Organic Chemistry test, sweating profusely. Its just a hypothetical situation. Is this the most uncomfortable situation ?

Has anyone heard of the X factor? I dont really know how to explain it. I guess you can say its when people glow from the inside and it immediately shows from the outside. These people can walk into a room and people will notice them right away even if they arent that good looking. For the ladies out there, you might have experience something similar when you are ovulating. Often, when Im ovulating, Im radiating and people always say I look different and very attractive. People in general are drawn to me and I really do feel an inner glow. I wish I could always feel this way. Some people radiate all the time. Does anyone know what im talking about ? Has anyone read anything about this?

I just wanted to say: What you are feeling is something so common ! You are definitely not alone in that sense !

Hello Tiger Lilies, I think everyone has a little empty hole inside. Some people try to fill the void with drugs, alcohol, sex, boyfriends, art. Some people can use this feeling of emptyness in a self destructive way and others use it to do wonderful things. It all depends on the type of person you are. IF you tend to be co-dependent then you'll have a tendency to feel lonely very often. When we are in a serious relationship, we are temporarily distracted from the feeling of lonelyness, but it never goes away. If you become too dependent on the person you are dating, when he leaves you the hole feels 100 times bigger. If thats the case it means you werent taking care of yourself in the relationship in the first place. Filling the hole is like a full time job. You gotta nurture it everyday until your old and stop producing sex hormones. My theory is that this feeling of lonelyness is caused by our hormones: its purely biological. So we have to channel this sex drive into something productive. You have to find ways to make the void as small as possible. You have to learn how to embrace those times in your life when you'll have many friends and then times when you will be alone. Try to have a balance of both. To fill the void, I like to keep myself really busy. Ive been reading this really cool book called: The Art of Living Single and Loving It. ANd it has given me some really good ideas. YOu should try to find books that will give you ideas on how to spice your life up. I hope this helps. Let me know. Daniella

I think breakups suck [PROFANITY REMOVED BY MODERATOR]. THey are a big waste of time and emotions. All these silly games we play with each other just cuz we dont know what we really want. THere are three major reasons people break up with someone: 1. They arent attracted to them anymore, they are attracted to other people instead 2. They are depressed and confused ( Burn out at school or at work) so they take it out on their significant other. 3. They want to move on because the relationship is dead but they are too chicken to get out of the relationship for fear of making a mistake and being lonely. Figure out which of the options applies to your situation and find out ways to deal with it. Here is a clue: give her what she wants: space. Even if she keeps coming back push her away for a while till she knows what she wants.

My bf and I broke up about a month and a half ago. I really tried all the advice I could find to feel better and heal as fast as I could because I need all the strength I have left over to apply to Graduate school. Ive done alot to get over this relationship but I really have lots of ups and downs. Im so stressed about my future. I really want to get into a good graduate school but im afraid that Ill end up in a bad school in the middle of nowhere. Worse case scenario could be going to live back home jobless, without a boyfriend and gaining 30 pounds watching TV all day. I cant believe that he broke up with me now when I needed him the most. Ive been planning on going to grad school for a long time but Im so insecure right now and scared. My grades aren't all that great but I have alot of work experience in the field i want to get into. I feel like I have to get into a really good school because I want to feel like I can turn this traumatic event into something productive. But my academic insecurities are always bringing me down.

" We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. " Have you ever heard this quote from Einstein? Its helped me deal with a similar situation than yours. WHen I was going thru a burn out with school and work, I became very confused about the relationship I was in. I couldnt handle anything anymore everything was too overwhelming. I was really confused and didnt seem to be in a proper state of mind to make any good decisions. I think this is what your bf is going thru. Maybe he is going thru a mild depression or burn out and he needs some time on his own not because he doesnt love you but because he isnt in a right state of mind to love you. Basically " Its not you, its him" . You should give him some space so that he puts all his pieces back together. He is in a state of mind right now that will not allow him to come up with any solutions. IF you are the smart one and the strong one in this relationship, leave him so that this brutal schock will be the first step in helping him snap out of whatever state of mind he is in and make him realize that its time for him to get his life together. THat doesnt mean that he will come running after you, because if he does you have to say no to him no matter what because he has to come out of the state of confusion he is in and he can only do this on his own. About a month and a half is good for both of you to be apart and think about what you really want. THats how long it took me to snap out of the confusion state I was in and Im things are making so much sense to me now. Id like to get back together with my ex but we will see what happens. So break up with him, and even if you are miserable, stick with it until he is ready to come home. But dont be waiting for him to run back to you, go on with your life and try to do things on your own and think of ways to make yourself a better person. Dont be co-dependent.

6years ? Thats a long time ! Your relationship has probably reached its peek. Either get married or , breakup no matter how painful it will be. If you guys have stopped growing together, and are going around in circles , it means that you have outgrown eachother and that you guys have thing else to learn from each other. SEems like you might be staying together because you are addicted to each other and are afraid to face the future without one another because youve done everything together so far. YOu're afraid of letting go of all the habits that you've acquired together. But, if there is no growth in the relationship then its time to go your separate ways. This might be the hardest decision you'll have to make and the most painful too.

Here is my list of things to do ( I just got dumped by a certain sphincter myself) 1. DOnt be friends if you have feelings for her. You;ll just end up torturing yourself evertime you see her cuz youll miss her and she will just keep reminding you she doesnt feel the same way. 2. Tie yourself to a chair if you have to but dont go see her nor call her nor email her. Stay away. 3. DOnt play mind games with yourself. Truth is she may never want to get back with you so dont wait till she comes get you. Move on. Someone else will come along. Even the ugliest and weirdest people in the world find someone. 4. You'll be alright , its not simple to get over a breakup especially cuz the ego has been hurt. Try to change your habits to boost your ego.