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vimora

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  1. vimora
    ages since my last entry... Been with a new guy for more than a year now and things are sooo great! It took me some time but now I can only think back on my ex with fondness and not hurt, I can speak to him without wondering why or how or wanting him back. Sure, I went on this site to maintain hope of getting back together with my ex, but moreso, you guys (and SUPERDAVE) just helped me get over the worst so I could move on. Thanks!
  2. vimora
    Thanks for that FCTex, I needed the reminder. I feel like i'm moving on finally but it's really day by day right now, really slow. It's a little over 3 months in. I had a small down moment but you helped with that post.
  3. vimora
    I don't know what day it is, I've lost count. I guess that's a good sign. I'm pretty sure it hasn't been a full 30 NC since I've broken it a couple of times or he has initiated contact. I regret every single time that I caved- it's like I heard SuperDave but had no self-control to stop it. But I think it's going on three weeks now on this last NC attempt tho (yay, me...) Some days are great- I feel like I've really moved forward. Somedays, like today are not so good. I posted somewhere that i was letting go, but I guess I haven't since I have these setbacks. I still want him to contact me- why? to see if he's truly moved on and has let go of me. But I'm afraid of what I'll find out. The biggest difference now is that I can't for sure say anymore if I'd get back into a relationship with him. Hindsight has shown me that our relationship was going downhill (both our faults) and we were just in denial about it. Question: After this break-up I was finally able to let go of a previous break-up, completely and totally. So was this relationship just a 2 and a half year rebound? I'm sure now that not letting go of that past relationship helped to poison this one. But I did love him. I waited only about two months before the last long relationship and this one. I think it's time to be on my own now. It's been a little over 3 months since I was dumped.
  4. vimora
    Two and a half years ago, I decided to accept a date about two months after having just gotten out of a long-term relationship. We started off as friends but then he became my boyfriend. A month ago, he dumped me. That's why, I don't want to date and rush things. People are telling me, I need to rediscover myself 'cause I didn't have time to do that the first time around before I jumped into a new relationship. The way I see it, when someone asks you out on a formal date, they're probably looking for a bit more that a platonic friendship. Although Kate111, I do agree that maybe going on a date doesn't neccessarily mean that this new person and I will hit it off and it could just turn into a friendship. I just think I need to get used to being on my own first, and spending good time with current friends, who, I admittedly saw less of during my relationship with the ex. Eventually, I'll start dating again, if only to meet new people and without expectations of finding a special someone. At least, I hope I can keep a level head about it. But thanks for the suggestion Kate111, it helps to know that someone is listening.
  5. vimora
    Well, I must have restarted NC three times or so now, but each time only lasting 3 or 4 days. The current NC is now going on 8 days, and mostly 'cause he requested some space; even though he initiated most of the contact in the first place. Some good days but still feeling vulnerable. Think about him all the time. Want to ask why he would do such a thing to me? I truly didn't believe him capable of hurting me so much. And the worst is that I still would take him back if he asked me to. But I know that if he never does, I won't go and push him and I'll leave him alone for the rest of his life. What's the point in pining if he doesn't want me back. It's so hard though guys, it's just a lot harder than I thought. I had a few days where I had convinced myself I was better off, but I've been steadily doubting myself lately. But it's only been a week of true NC and a little over a month since he dumped and hurt me. I guess I just need more time. Meanwhile, I've been hanging out a lot with friends, reconnecting with them which is great. They've been really supportive. I've been asked out by different guys on 4 or 5 dates but I've turned them all down, I have no interest in dating at the moment. Trying to focus on finishing my degree and looking for work. And I've taken up a new hobby which I'm really excited about. So I guess I'm doing all the required things to help me move on. Just wrote to vent a bit, feeling kinda sad. I feel a bit better now.
  6. vimora
    GAH!! I broke NC!! Stupid, stupid, stupid. Well he initiated it but we've talked maybe three times now. Grr, now I'm back to NC day 1. I need a discipline pill.
  7. vimora
    Day 3 NC- mornings are so hard, woke up again feeling on the verge of losing control. Did some deep breathing. It's so strange, I've never felt so panicked. Same yesterday morning. Didn't sleep at all last night and now I've woken up at 3 in the afternoon. I have exams to study for, must focus.
  8. vimora
    I'm with you on that one Houdini, I'd rather have the root canal at the moment too!
  9. vimora
    lol, thanks hockeyboy!
  10. vimora
    NC day 2...I woke up almost unable to breath. It was scary! It took awhile to regain control. I just suddenly felt so overwhelmed by it all. Trying to stay positive but I suddenly felt really really really scared. I'm having a rough start to my day, decided I better do something or go insance so I'm posting instead. Calming down in doses.
  11. vimora
    True, this is the best weight loss regime I have found to work, lol. Last break-up, I got so skinny (and I was eating a lot) from sadness and working out that my mom commented at one point that I was starting to look like a I was going through famine. All my clothes became really loose. Then met the current ex, stayed slender but put back some meat on the bones. Man, nighttime is hardest...
  12. vimora
    Okay SuperDave here's the story (although I did write in my post in the Healing section "i guess this is day 1 of NC...dumpee) My ex dumped me yesterday after a 2 and a half year relationship. He told me that he thought his feeling towards me may have changed, especially since we've been kinda weird and distant with each other in the last few weeks. He gets into these periods where he is so stressed that it seems he has no more room on his plate for anything else. I know he needed for at least our relationship to be the only sane thing left in the relationship but it was putting a strain on me trying act happy knowin that he was in a bad mood about something. But he won't talk. We had gone on a break before where he needed a break to sort out his problems. I told him we could work it out and work on being more open with each other instead of burying resentment and annoyances, but he told me he couldn't see how things could change and go back to the way things were. He thought it best we went our separate ways. So that the main part of it. And now a half hour to go until NC day 2!! sigh sigh sigh. Btw, saw "The secret" and it put me in a good mood. Thanks for your support, already met some really great people in this forum. And my friends at home have been really great too. Vimora
  13. vimora
    Don't get me wrong Kate111, I have done my fair share of wailing- especially yesterday with the dumping happened. My heart felt like it was breaking to pieces. Then today I broke down in the shower (at least I showered...) but went to school anyway 'cause I knew that was the smart thing to do (and I'm on spring break). Anyway, I posted in a couple of places here today and gotten some really helpful e-mails from people in this forum. Bumped into some old friends by accident today and they were chalk-full of amazing advice. Spent the evening with a friend eating and cooking and watching T.V, and studying. Then I watched "the secret" movie that was recommended on one of the post and felt really better after. One hour to go and I'll be heading into day 2 of NC. sigh...yay me...sigh. Still hurts bad but MIND OVER MATTER!! GRRRRR!!!!
  14. vimora
    Don't get me wrong Kate111, I have done my fair share of wailing- especially yesterday with the dumping happened. My heart felt like it was breaking to pieces. Then today I broke down in the shower (at least I showered...) but went to school anyway 'cause I knew that was the smart thing to do (and I'm on spring break). Anyway, I posted in a couple of places here today and gotten some really helpful e-mails from people in this forum. Bumped into some old friends by accident today and they were chalk-full of amazing advice. Spent the evening with a friend eating and cooking and watching T.V, and studying. Then I watched "the secret" movie that was recommended on one of the post and felt really better after. One hour to go and I'll be heading into day 2 of NC. sigh...yay me...sigh. Still hurts bad but MIND OVER MATTER!! GRRRRR!!!!
  15. vimora
    hmmm, don't join groups part made me laugh out loud!!
  16. vimora
    Sigh...okay, here we go. NC day 1 (see post in healing "I guess this is NC day 1...dumpee). The gist: was dumped yesterday. I need you guys!! Running on a thin line of control here.
  17. vimora
    Just broke up with bf yesterday so not exactly in best mindset to give advice. Nevertheless, don't do anything while you're still angry, you are going to regret. Think about your son, you need to distance yourself so you get gain some sort of control and be able to think rationally. OCCUPY yourself!! Go to gym, hang out with friends, get a hobby, built a shelf anything!!!!! Be constructive. I don't know about the child situation since I don't have kids, so I guess it's okay to call but only to speak to your son. Be cold, don't speak to her. And then when you're in control and calm, think of what the best solution is. 'Cause now, you wanna act out of revenge, to punish her but if you do something right now, you might end up hurting yourself and your son. Now to crawl back into my hole. Vimora
  18. vimora
    Yes, anger, I remember that being a good sign. I hope it comes soon, I'd think I'd rather be angry than plain ol' hurt. Vimora
  19. vimora
    So even though I'm the laziest person in the world, I decided moping at home wasn't going to do me any good (especially whenI broke down in the shower- Hey! at least I haven't been reduced to not cleaning myself!! silver lining...) So I went to school, it's supposed to be my spring break but I went to school for a midterm review session. (three midterms in a row next week). At least while I'm sitting in a public place, if the waterworks starts, I can quickly get ahold of myself. Admittedly, I think I check my e-mail 5 times today, and did log into MSN. But made no attempt to talk to him (even tho he was online). Yay me? It's technically still day 1 NC since I wrote the entry in the early morning hours. Gonna be a long day, someone is supposed to come get me soon. Don't wanna be alone today- need the chatter of a good friend. Thanks for the supportive comments GQ- I know rationally that you are right so I don't think I'll do anything (remembering last relationship non-NC backfire). It hurts bad though. Vimora
  20. vimora
    Man, does it suck to have your heart broken. Sucks, sucks,sucks. Had a horrible night's sleep, if one could call that sleep at all. Decided that to do the NC thing since in my last relationship I didn't do it and it completely backfired on me (shoulda listened to you guys then!). Story in short: relationship of two and a half years, he decided that his feelings had changed towards me, doesn't think he's good enough (yadda, yadda, yadda) and doesn't think things can get back to the way they were. ?!? I guess I can take some comfort in the fact that I was willing to put in the effort to make it work and not ready to just give up. Anyway, having a bit of a hard time now and decided that I'll post when the need to contact him arises instead of actually contacting him. Although, I won't ignore him if he contacts me- that seems kinda petty. But hurting, someone out there please say something nice and constructive please! Vimora
  21. vimora
    Some guys can be really dense, I agree. My boyfriend just broke up with me today, sigh, I don't really get why either. I'm emotinally drained now but thought I'd check this site since it helped me with my last breakup three years ago. I don't why your boyfriend called (of course) but if the break up was recent maybe he wants to reconcile but maybe only 'cause he's in that phase of remembering the good times. Try to remain rational about it if it's the case and think if you really want him back.
  22. vimora
    I didn't believe it would happen again because I thought I had gone and dumped the only guy that was perfect for me. It's been almost a year. Met my current boyfriend a month after the break-up. Became fast friends. Started dating two months later and now 11+ months later I am feeling happier than in the whole three years I spent with my supposed "only one". Maybe it's still honeymoon stage or what not but I agree with others who have posted here. This newer relationship is definitly more mature, more solid and I have definitely learnt a lot from what went wrong in my past relationship that has helped me now. My boyfriend says the same, past relationships he's had has definitely let him learn and know that this time it's really different...and wonderful. You just gotta let yourself believe. Maybe new relationships will work out or will not but you can find love again that stronger and healthier. Good luck
  23. vimora
    Sex hurt with my first boyfriend, it would always be good up until the point of intercourse then I would get nervous and tense up. I would always be anticipating the hurt. With my current boyfriend, things are better, he's really patient. The key thing is to relax 'cause if you try to force it when you're not completely relaxed it might hurt, I've even ripped. But if I'm completely relaxed it's much easier and I can start to enjoy it. I'm still too tight at times (why couldn't I be one of those girls that don't hurt, oh well, we're all made different) so I've been meaning to get some lubricant, from what I hear it greatly facilitates things. So key thing, relax those muscles, get him to stimulate you, stimulate yourself, have him whispers sweet things (or dirty- depending on the person), try not to think about how it hurt previous times and think that instead, this is time it's going to be good, or it's going to be better. And if he's not being patient with you (like my ex) and getting frustrated because you're finding it difficult, then maybe you need to talk to him or move along, 'cause if he's unwilling to help you or understand or he's blaming you than maybe being intimate with this guy isn't the best idea. Ok, just my two cents.
  24. vimora
    I've only had two boyfriends and I thought it strange at first but they both loved going down on me. Seems like it's the first thing they both wanted to do when we're getting intimate. So anyways, my current boyfriend is pretty amazing at it and says he really enjoys the taste and the smell 'cause I don't really smell at all really. He says he usually fantisizes about going down on me more than me giving him head (which I enjoy as well). Anyway, I really like it when he sucks on my clit over all the moves that he does. Maybe you guys should try it, although it might not be every girl's cup of tea.
  25. vimora
    Hey thanks for the positive comments! This forum was truly helpful to me during a difficult time and you guys are great too during a happy period. Hope things work out for you too GaveTooMuch!
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