Sly Cat

I was so happy I found this place. I have been so depressed lately over my relationship. Feeling suicidal and confused and couldn't talk about it to anyone. I told him I was posting on a forum. Just needed to talk. Just please let me have this. He wouldn't. He came on and signed up and read everything I wrote. Stuff I just needed to talk to someone about. I am even more depressed now. My relationship is over. Everyone was right to say I should leave. Nehow back to suicide. I am going to kill myself I think. I don't have access to a gun. I have attemped b4 and failed. Slashed my wrists and ended up in a mental hospital just. So I need something that will really work. Will rubbing alchol and about 300 sleeping pills work? I don't want any chance of living this time. Plz don't tell me it isn't the right way, that I have stuff to live for, because I don't. I have a horrible relationship, a bad past and an ever declining future. No one I can talk to. I had this but not anymore. Just tell me how to do it so I can finish this.

How do I leave tho? I have tried tellin him it is over and he says that he is sorry and will never hurt me agian. But i think he might have hurt me enough already. I love him, I really do. I think that is why it is so hard to leave. Plz anyone who has any advice on either forgiving and forgeting or if you think i should just end it plz reply. I am really confused on this one.

Cutting is never the way. I do it too. Started when more happened in my life than I could handle. Sounds like your friends death caused a lot of pain you are having a hard time dealing with. Physical pain can dull emotional pain, but it is a temporary fix and in the end, it feels worse. It is great that you have someone who can relate and understands. I think you need to talk out how you feel and get rid of some of the emotional pain then you might be able to stop. Be careful. It is addictive. And eventually it gets where little bits aren't enough and you get worse. And then you can't go with out doing it. It makes you feel in control of your emotions and just yourself.

OK, I am in a really long distance relationship. The guy is sweet sometimes. We met when I was on vacation in England, I live in ohio. We had like a week to get to know each other, then decided to keep talking through email and instant messengers and web camming. That was fine for a while we got really close in fact. We even decided to get married. We talk on the phone a lot so the bill is huge. Like $5000 big. He has paid for $300. I mean it is good he paid some finally, but he waited till I as desperate and selling all my things. He has plenty of money too. Sometimes he is really sweet, other times cruel or anoying. He is 20 almost and all he talks about is little kids toys. The only things he bothers to know about me are sexual. Other than that he really doesn't seem to care. As far as cruel, I self injure. He knows that and he was helping me and supporting me, until one day he talked me into it and then got off on it while I was begging him to stop and crying. I was raped a long time ago, and agian he used to be supportive, now he talks about daydreams of raping me and getting other ppl and even animals involved. I told him how much it bothers me but he makes me do certian things and I do it foolishly because I love him. He does it even as I am crying. Or getting so depressed I want to die. He really has done some mean things. Sex with animals is a turn on to him. I don't wanna, but he makes me do things. No matter how upset I get. I told him how much it hurts me and stuff, but he has done stuff repeatedly. This last time he promised never to do it agian, but when he gets horny he gets scary sometimes. He wants to rape me, do more with animals (which I hate doing anything), he gets turned on by touching me when I am sleeping and stuff, then he wants to sleep with guys. I don't know about that. I mean I can't do certian things for him, so... But it seems if you are in a commited relationship that it should be just you two. I just never seem to be good enough. I am not very pretty so I can see why he would look elsewhere, but to actually have sex with other ppl? I don't know. He never has been with a guy yet, but it really turns him on. And when we talk about sex he gets excited and stuff when we talk about just us two, but he gets so much more excited about everything else. He even wants to do his sister and his mom and stuff. Never just me. When ever we talk he just wants phone sex and to masturbate when we are talking or for me to go on webcam for him and give him a show. We never can just talk anymore. I am always having to do phone sex for him because he is too horny to talk. I dunno... He never comes to see me. I beg him and he promises to come, said for summer, then thanksgiving, then christmas, then valentines day, then spring break, then it was this summer, now maybe this fall. He promises, and leaves me hoping till the last minute he will come and he never does. We have a joke for a relationship too. He can't tell his family about me bacause they will kill him for dating a girl of another race. So when we talk on the phone he whispers and if someone comes in then he hides the phone and will leave me on hold for half hour sometimes. I would not mind so much but I am paying a lot of money to talk to him, and seems like a waste to pay to be on hold. He never stands up to like his dad or brothers. Doesn't matter what is going on and if I am upset he will go or put me on hold because his brother came in. I know that he is scared of being hit but sometimes it would be nice for him to admit I exsist. He is rather controling. I wrote in the forum and asked if ppl thought he was a good bf and I got an email from it and he knows my password so he found it and was upset with me for saying stuff about him. But I was just hurt and confused and didn't know what to say. Then he was saying that all I do is talk about him and I am just listeng to what other ppl say. I mean I have a mind of my own. Everyone who know anything about our relationship says run. But I don't know how. I love him and I have tried leaving, but I never seem able to do it. Do you think I am just me being silly? Or is he actually not very nice. I have tried to leave him like 20 times but always in the end I stay. Should I trust him when he says that he won't do this stuff agian? I mean his promises have come to mean nothing. He never keeps them. Everyone says leave, what do you think? And if you think I should, how... He never sees it as I am leaving because he hurt me, just that I am being mean and not forgiving him. But sometimes it is really hard to forgive someone when they hurt you a lot.. How do you leave when you love some one though...

I dated a guy like this. He used to do stuff when I was sleeping. Sex if for two people to participate in, not for one to be asleep or drunk or passed out. The guy sounds like a jerk. Tell her to be careful, fetishes can get out of hand fast.

My boyfriend says the same stuff. He has never been hit on or asked out. He really is cute too. The only advice I have is try to make him realize how cute u think he is, and that should be all that matters. He probably is insecure if you are getting hit on and worries if you don't find him attractive enough you will think you can do better and go with one of the guys who hit on you. Just try and boost his self esteem by tellling him what you really think of how he looks. Tell him he is cute, darling, be expressive and say it often.

OK, I am in a really long distance relationship. The guy is sweet sometimes. We met when I was on vacation in England, I live in ohio. We had like a week to get to know each other, then decided to keep talking through email and instant messengers and web camming. That was fine for a while we got really close in fact. We even decided to get married. We talk on the phone a lot so the bill is huge. Like $5000 big. He has paid for $300. I mean it is good he paid some finally, but he waited till I as desperate and selling all my things. He has plenty of money too. Sometimes he is really sweet, other times cruel or anoying. he is 20 almost and all he talks about is little kids toys. The only things he bothers to know about me are sexual. Other than that he really doesn't seem to care. As far as cruel, I self injure. He know that and he was helping me and supporting me, until one day he talked me into it and then got off on it while I was begging him to stop and crying. I was raped a long time ago, and agian he used to be supportive, now he talks about daydreams of raping me and getting other ppl and even animals involved. I told him how much it bothers me but he makes me do certian things and I do it foolishly because I love him. He does it even as I am crying. Or getting so depressed I want to die. He never comes to see me. I beg him and he promises to come, said for summer, then thanksgiving, then christmas, then valentines day, then spring break, then it was this summer, now maybe this fall. He promises, and leaves me hoping till the last minute he will come and he never does. I think he might be cheating. I know the password to one email adress and since then he has made several new email accounts. I only went in once or twice, but there was letters from a girl and then online dating registration forms. He said he is not intrested in girls and since he is bisexual that he is looking for men. But the thing is I looked at some of the dating profiles and they all said he was single seeking women. And his whole buddy list is all women and once I went on his yahoo and there was an offline message about him and a girl how she had fun on the phone. Do you think i am paranoid to think he is chreating? Do you think the other stuff is just me being silly? Or is he actually not very nice. I have tried to leave him like 20 times but always in the end I stay. If anyone has anythoughts post here or email me at email removed thanks