Andrina

To supplement your income and perhaps have enough money to hire a consultant for tips on the business side, you could look into running brief photography classes. I once took one that was a 6 or 8 week class meeting once a week. The teacher would bring us on field trips to photograph carousels, fountains, a bike race, etc., to learn about lenses, metering, panning, etc. People like family photos set in unusual settings like a field of sunflowers or a local waterfall. Sometimes you have to pay the owner of something like a sunflower field to do business there, but could set prices that you would still profit from. Ask if you can post their photos on your website to attract customers. Sounds like you have tunnel vision and need to start thinking outside of the box. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

The only thing now to do is learn that you can't treat a person like a yo-yo. Letting go, drawing back in, over and over. A person is not a toy. It's possible she told you about the drunk one-night stand to punish you, since ethically, she didn't have to breathe a word about it. Go no contact so you can begin to move on.

She is far from shy. And she most likely knows you're into her, even if those words haven't come out of your mouth this time around. After several months of this, a woman who is not shy, after several months, wouldn't certainly addressed the topic of dating if she was truly interested. Just because you don't believe she wants attention, doesn't mean that's the case. You're grasping for straws when looking for signals she's into you, and only wanting to see the best in your crush. People who run hot and cold just aren't into you. Hold out for the one who is crystal clear. That's where you'll find relationship success. And as said by another poster, don't continue with this touchy -feely stuff. That prevents you from bonding with a better prospect, and also scare prospects away who see you engaging in this behavior with another woman. Don't do one-on-one stuff with her anymore, and if you can't start thinking of her as just another buddy in the group, lessen your group activities and do stuff with your guy friends without her.

If he's that good looking and charming, if he'd wanted a longterm girlfriend, after all his options and takers, he would already be in a relationship. And if you've seen particular women you assume he's hooking up, if you did that, other's on campus would know the same of you. I probably wouldn't want that info out there if there was actually another, better candidate for dating on campus, yet he's turned off because you were just one among the harem for Mr. Popular. Actually, I set my sights on someone similar when I was in community college, although I didn't see signs he was sleeping with anyone. I went and sat by him in the one class we shared at the beginning of the semester. He talked to me first, and we became classroom friends. I did offer to give him a ride and dropped him off at his apartment one day because I was going to my friends house and it was on the way. But when he never asked me out over time, I lost interest. He tried to ask for a ride a few more times but I wasn't going to my friends house those days and felt like he was using me, so I let him fade away. Even if you did date him, it's extremely doubtful he's going to be a stop sign up when other women come to flirt. Do you really want to deal with this when there are so many other guys around to date without this issue?

If I were you, I'd ask for a meeting with him and discuss your interest in that higher position when it becomes available. People can't read your mind, and he might start considering the possibility if it hasn't dawned on him without that discussion. As for the successes, my aunt was around your age when she went to nursing school after being a stay at home mother to four children. She loved her career in that field until retirement.

Always be your genuine self and if you lose someone because of that, he wasn't the right person for you anyway. I know how tough being apart is, since I was once a Navy wife, and in my current job, I've twice had to be away from home for a four week period. It's unfair to him if you can't give a timeframe of how long you will be apart and have that info be up in the air. You leaving might cause him resentment and you sticking around for his goals when yours won't be met will cause you to be resentful. Either you break up, or see if you're both willing to put in the work to keep the relationship strong during a LDR. Nobody said life was easy. I feel for you and wish you the best no matter what happens.

Is alcohol really that important in your lives that the both of you can't give it up for the benefit of your relationship? There are other ways to socialize in life. Since if she get drunk 12 times per year, then once a month she will be so inebriated that she will be cheating by communicating improperly to other men and will continue to make you pay for a crime you didn't commit. Some people could accept a drunk excuse once, but without a major change of abstaining, how will these problems stop since one is affected negatively in this mind altering way?

Sure, but is that how your present gf sees things? Did you say in concrete terms: I don't see anything wrong in keeping contact with an ex, business or otherwise, and I don't feel the need to tell you those details if that happens. Just because you have particular parameters doesn't mean your gf will agree. If you haven't been explicit on how you operate in life, it's not fair to keep your gf in the dark when you decided to guide an ex in a new business. I don't care if you denied her. This is crossing boundaries for most successful couples who are serious about their primary relationship. If I found out my man was involving himself in this way with a ex, I couldn't dump him fast enough. If your gf knew all this, her self esteem must be in the gutter. When an old friend from our teen years befriended me on Facebook, the second he sent me a flirty message, even as he knew I was married, I deleted him as a friend. How did you envision, in the most optimum way, how this situation was to play out to your satisfaction? If she were a charity case, why would you care if she decided not to continue with the business plan and leave your life? Obviously you were trying to fill some sort of void in your life. Don't you have normal friends to satisfy your social life? And do you not mind risking losing a longterm gf over an ex you've allowed back into your life?

No matter who you're in a relationship with whether it be family, a friend, co-worker or significant other, people regularly do irritate each other and become upset with one another. A normal part of life. But for those relationships to be successful, when the hard times come up, it takes emotional intelligence to handle those hurdles. Sometimes you have to bite your tongue and let things slide. When you do bring up an issue, it should be done without name-calling and making the other person feel like crap. When someone you know can't socially operate without shaming and all those other forms of abuse, it's in your best interest to cut them out of your life. It's normal to pine for how things used to be, but not realistic to expect those days will return. If it were me, I'd go no contact. Take care.

You two lived together, so the decision of getting a pet shouldn't have been decided by only one partner. Because this happened, you would be wise to presume that if you two lived together again as lifetime partners, the same could happen for other major decisions that she could make regardless of your opinion. if you didn't want children, she could go off birth control because she wants a child. If you two combined funds for a vacation but she all of a sudden wanted a new car instead, when you got home it'd be sitting in the driveway. She made a decision for her own good and regarding you, she let the chips fall where they may. Does that sound like someone who truly loves you? This relationship started when you two were young. Even though you missed each other, face the fact you've grown apart and realize your wants and needs are opposite to your partner's--a quite common happening during one's twenties.

So over a period of 3 years, they had three opportunities to ask you out and hasn't done so once. They might like an occasional ego boost from communicating with a fan, but that's as far as it'll ever go. Besides that, long distance is the hardest form of dating there is, and therefore has a low chance of success. It takes two people totally devoted and striving to close the distance within a year. Block them so you can emotionally move on, and as suggested, get off the computer and into the reality of finding a bf by going to meet up groups, or meet singles through volunteer work or a new hobby where many people your age participate. When you're hiding behind a computer screen and welcoming fantasy situations that never evolve into reality, you have to choose a more successful way to date. Are you emotionally ready to have a real live relationship locally?

The only thing that telling him this story will do is have him picturing these images in his head. It's not fun to picture your significant other with anyone else, even if it was an ethical union. That's why it's best not to go into details of your exes and keep it as a summary when at the beginning of a dating experience such as: We weren't compatible. We outgrew each other, etc. Many people make ethical mistakes, especially before age 25 since the adult brain doesn't mature until that time. It doesn't mean you have to treat anyone like a priest you can divulge all your sins to. Your bf won't be providing any absolution like saying 5 Hail Mary's and 3 Our Father's. I know there are times in my life I've behaved in ways I'm not proud of. Though I do feel guilty, which is a good thing which shows a person is empathetic, I practice positive self-talk when I start berating myself for past mistakes, such as: Nobody remembers that but you. Everyone makes mistakes, and I've certainly learned from them and won't be repeating that snafu. The past does not define me. (Those types of statements) Then I redirect my mind to more productive thoughts. The best thing you can do now is set a goal of continuing to be the loving, faithful, great gf you've been thus far. Isn't that good enough? You need to learn to forgive yourself. Try the positive self-talk I suggested, and get some reading material on the subject since it normally takes several months to get in with a therapist. There's a reason they are so busy. You're not alone and not the only person in the world who needs help, including self-forgiveness.

Then if this was only a period of weeks where your behavior changed, after a whole year together, if he really cared, he would've stuck around to see if this period would pass, as you believe it did. Either that or he didn't earlier voice his observations of you, taking into consideration the entirety of your relationship, whereas you might've thought things were okay but he had reservations. Recent behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. He dumped you when the going got rough, and he'd likely repeat that behavior when the newness of a reestablished relationship wore off if you two got back together. The advice other posters gave is spot on. Remove him from social media and concentrate on continuing treatment for your mental health. Best to have closure from someone who chose to no longer be in your life, knowing breaking up usually means forever. He was okay with that. Time for you to take steps to emotionally move on.

Ick. Why would you want to be with someone of this character? That shows how superficial he is, valuing looks over the quality of a relationship. He's the one who has kept himself mired in the past by keeping his ex alive in his present world by writing about her, and possibly staying in contact with her. Leave him to it. You're worthy of a decent partner, and he ain't it.

With all the info given, I would guess that he knew better than to respond because you've shown him that if he gives you an inch, you'll take a mile. He knew that that text message was loaded with expectations and that you were attempting to lasso him back into your orbit. Even if you've shoved a crush away from certain death by a rolling boulder or dig him out when he's buried in an avalanche, he doesn't owe you a promise of being your lifetime partner. If you were floored by meeting his child within weeks of knowing him, why didn't you refuse to do what wasn't right for said child? It's like you were so enamored of a new acquaintance, you were pleasing him to the detriment of your own needs and against better judgment. Even though he welcomed your involvement at that time, when the watershed moment came up about the thought of meeting a woman's daughter (when you two weren't even exclusive) he likely had a wake up call. As said before, he is poor at decision making, but you have no control over him. You should, however, be working on improving your own behavior and develop more realistic expectations.

During a whole 7 dates, if you only showed her one side of your personality, doesn't that mean you really didn't feel comfortable to fully be yourself around her? I do know how that feels. I briefly dated a guy who I totally thought had a really intelligent brain and he was so funny. I also thought he was attractive. I really couldn't get comfortable with him, however, and then that bothered him to feel that vibe. He was the one who dumped me, and in hindsight, with time and distance, I don't even know why it upset me as we were very incompatible in another major way. With my future husband, I felt very comfortable right away, and learned over time we matched in all the important ways as well. Hold out for that shared interest. No wishy washy comments and excuses. The right one will never set you free. Not even once.

Having childlike traits, seeing wonder in the world, is a good thing. Being childish is totally different and not good. He is certainly listed in that category. Adults are financially responsible and responsible in all the other areas that are vital for a successful life. Metaphorically, you keep sticking a DVD in the player, expecting to watch a beautiful movie, but you get nothing but a blank screen. Stop trying. It's not happening. What you see is what you get. Love isn't enough. You have to have standards. He's showing you who he is, so believe him. You keep going as you are, end up married with kids, and guess what? He'll run out of gas when it's his turn to pick up the kids. He won't be able to get to work because his car died because he spent money on nonsense, and so he's fired. Nobody needs a crystal ball to see your future with him in it. It's a new year. Time for new beginnings.

You now need to block her number and also delete her on social media. If you don't, every time she contacts you, it will dredge up emotions you should keep in the past. And you don't want her intruding on any new relationship. If a new gf sees your phone pinging with texts from this co-worker, she won't trust that your heart is fully free. Women are intuitive and will know something is going on that shouldn't be. Here's hoping your lessons have been learned. When two people have different relationship goals, it neither works for romance or friendship. And never confess "feelings" before you've even had a first date. Those feelings are never more than a crush at that point. Love takes time to grow. You simply ask a person on a date, which "shows" interest.

Look at who you're dating and that's who you think you deserve. You called him an ass and a jerk. You're lacking in self-worth, so subconsciously, you choose a person who is lacking. If you work on boosting your self-worth, likely you will begin finding sweet guys more appealing. Right now they are not appealing because dysfunction seems normal to you.

Not that it would've worked with her, since you two go together like oil and water, but you might want to be a little more proactive and have more confidence in acting on it when you're into someone. She was the one to add you on social media first. She asked for the first meet up. Why didn't you ask to meet a week or two after those hours long talks went well? When I was in junior college, I know I was downright frustrated with two different guys I was initially interested in, but they didn't really know how to get things going for the normal steps it takes to get into a regular dating routine. Everything fell apart. Anyway, the good thing is, this is the time in your life, during high school and college, you'll be meeting the largest pool of singles in your age group than in any other time of your life. NEXT! P.S. Think about the psychology of words. She upset you with speaking of finding a bf. She did not "destroy" you. Don't feed yourself sabotaging messages. This was a blip of 60 days in your life.

Oh, wow. The thirties? I thought the both of you must be in your early twenties, making youthful mistakes--not having much relationship experience. And I don't even see you learning from this experience, although maybe this will happen when you get some time and distance away from her and this situation. Lessons you should have learned? Waiting for someone such as in this instance is NEVER a good idea. Your logic is faulty. When a person has any excuse for not being with you, walk away. You have different relationship goals. Neither a friendship or romance is in the cards. Staying friends with someone you have a crush on prevents you from bonding with a good romantic prospect. Another person might not act in your best interest, even if you perceive them as a caring person before they show they are quite the opposite. True friends know who you are and don't accept other's badmouthing of you as fact. Simply say, "We're no longer friends, and I don't want to hear about her." If they ask why, tell them the truth, that you had a crush and since she doesn't feel the same, it's best that you didn't continue the friendship. It's not like any major drama. It's a normal happening in life. Another lesson? You don't have to know her reasoning of why she did those things, and don't hurt your brain about it. You can never fully know another, and she's no longer your concern. Instead of pouring time and emotional energy into thoughts of her, start moving to a life without her. As the saying goes, when you have your foot squarely keeping a back door open, you can't open the front door to new possibilities. Take care.

Choosing a lifetime partner is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Write out the traits of who your ideal partner would be, and you will find that out of ten elements, he will likely only meet one of those standards. Yeah, that's what's called settling. Is that what you'll do with your one precious life on this planet? And remaining friends is the worst thing you can do. That action will drive away any new romantic prospects when you're ready to date again. If you had a bf, would you want him being buddies with a woman he would've married if she wasn't so lazy? It's hard to go no contact with someone you've been used to having around, but with time and distance, you will eventually have closure. Seek out friendships with people who won't impact a future romance with the right guy you'll eventually find. You've learned something from a "starter" relationship, of what you don't want. If you want to be as successful in romance as you are in your career, yes, a breakup is vital.

I can understand about the party, but why wouldn't he make the personal trainer appt. for the afternoon after you left? Very telling how he didn't consider consulting you since you'd be his guest for the weekend. If that's a regular pattern, why live a life of regularly being upset?

Teens sometimes do stupid things because one's brain isn't fully developed before age 25. And I'm not talking about her. I'm speaking of you. You were the one who chose to see what her romantic past looked like when she was a free agent, seeing what you preferred not to see. Sounds like you grilled her, since I don't think she'd speak about making out with a guy to you, even if it was ethically fine to do so. You are the one conjuring those images in your head regularly, since you do have control over where your thoughts veer to, and can redirect thoughts with practice. Either get therapy to improve how you operate in life, to stop this nonsense of immersing yourself in one inconsequential happening in your life. Or free your girlfriend to find someone who doesn't put her through this emotional drama when she did nothing wrong. Her self-worth is lacking if she sticks around for paying a price for a crime she never committed. She very well might dump you if she comes to her senses and someone who sees her through fresh eyes, and not as tainted material, comes along.

Honestly, if you had a girlfriend and she had a "friend" who'd totally crushed on her, how would you feel if he couldn't take no for an answer, wrote a novel about her on a forum, and was bound and determined to be a part of her life, hoping to be close again, and more, if the opportunity rose? If a friend isn't a champion to a couple, that friend needs to be totally cut off, because such a "friend" isn't truly one, and you know it. You want what's best for you, and that's selfish if it involves being unethical and speaking romantically to a taken woman. It's not a selfish goal when the partner is single and willing. Since you bring up God, one of the 10 Commandments is not to covet thy neighbor's wife. Sound familiar, even if it's dating we're speaking of and not marriage? There's a possibility she sensed how intense you were about her and that's why she severed ties. She was scared. I know I would be after reading what you wrote and what you're considering. There's a possibility she even invented a boyfriend just as an excuse to go no contact. You have absolutely no idea because you've never been invited to witness her personal life up close and personal. I'm sure you have a lot to offer to someone, but the way you're going about dating isn't working, so give the normal way of dating a shot.