Me (19M) and my gf (18F) began dating in sophomore year of high school after she had a crush on me. We dated for a year and a half after this and it was a pretty good relationship. I ended things to find myself as I had been very depressed due to family issues and countless injuries in baseball (now a college pitcher). During all this time she had a best friend and they were very close. Her best friend had a boyfriend and all three of them became close along with the rest of their friend group. I wasn't a part of this but I saw nothing wrong with it and never worried. About 5 months after breaking up I wanted to get back together. Her best friend told me that she was dying to get back together with me so I decided I would ask her in a week or two. In that first week her best friends boyfriend broke up with her and she was devastated. At this point I had already reached out to my gf and she gave me a weird response when I was confident that she would want to get back together as she had already stated that. Her best friend texted me that my gf had gotten with her ex right away and I was shocked. I didn't know the extent of it at the time but I was obviously disappointed. I talked to my gf about it and she said she regretted everything and almost stopped communicating with him entirely and got back together with me (completely her choice at this point) which I was happy about. Keep in mind this is about 2 years ago now. Everything was great for a few weeks until I went on her snapchat and checked the messages she had with him. There were pictures of them cuddling shirtless, she told me they would make out, and there were love paragraphs that were eerily similar to what she would send me. I was crushed instantly in that moment and I haven't been the same since. She has changed and is the most supportive and loving person in my life and she always regrets that time. We've been doing long distance now for college and this past week has just been the worst week of my life. I can't get those images out of my head and I've been talking to her about it more recently but she can't give me and closure on the situation. Whenever I close my eyes now I can just imagine them and I feel like I have forgotten who she is. I've been thinking about taking a break but I feel like that is immature and selfish of me. She told me she's here for everything and wants to give me all the reassurance and help in the world, but I still just can't get those times out of my head. Any advice on how to move on from that and return to normal so I can feel her love again and give her what she needs?
