johnbarney

It's rather depressing to think that however much time you spend with someone and whatever you do for them they might decide to just cut you off at any time, no matter how nice they seemed 😞 I would never have done this to her

I'd be happy for her to keep it anyway if she welcomes me back into her life

Also I just can't see the point in blocking someone because if they're determined to get in touch there's always another way but if you can trust them not to message you if it's not wanted, why not just state your wishes? Surely blocking someone puts you at risk if the person you blocked is dangerous? Honestly I feel as though this is something I'd like to point out but without coming across as threatening myself!

It's not stalking. Should I not at least remind her that I lent her money? Because if I don't then I'm being kind by not asking for it back whilst she has cut me out of her life and has probably forgotten about it!

Ok this isn't exactly an excuse but I did pick her car up from the garage for her after a repair and paid the bill which was about £150 and said she could just pay me back when she can. I'm not sure if she even remembers this and I wouldn't have pushed her to give the money back but do you think I should try to contact her about this? Because on the one hand I cared about her so much that I wasn't bothered if she paid me back or not but on the other hand she cares about me so little that she's blocked me! Also I'm trying to move on but it's really getting to me that all the time I can see that there are likes and comments on mutual friends' posts that I can't see because I'm blocked. And when the posts are public, I can see her comments by copying and pasting a link to the post into an incognito tab. But it's upsetting me so much to think that we could go through the rest of our lives with this situation and it's so unnecessary because from my side I can't see any reason not to just be friendly to each other. She may think that blocking me was the easiest option but I'm thinking about her the whole time and feeling so distressed and if she'd just chat to me it would make everything so much better!

Fair point but do you think maybe she should take this advice and stop commenting on all of the posts of her ex? I'd be really interested to know what he thinks tbh. Because her side of the story is that he asked to still be friends but then suddenly started ignoring her when she'd done nothing wrong.

No, I just find it ironic that she keeps commenting on the posts of her ex who's ghosted her but get she's blocked me 😕

Yes but she comments on every post that one of her ex's does on every channel and he never replies to them but he replies to other peoples' comments so it's clear that he's ignoring her. So I am wondering about possibly replying to one of them as well saying "I don't know why you don't want to know [insert her name] anymore - she's an amazing person" or something like that. Do you think that would be ok? As I wouldn't actually be commenting on one of her posts but she'd definitely see it and it would be ironic if she had an issue with it seeing as she continues to comment on everything he posts? The crazy thing is that her boyfriend has even put a comment on one of her ex's posts too!!

Ah that sounds like a difficult situation. I'm guessing you made it clear though? Whereas my friend said things like I'm not ready for a relationship now and I'll think about it. And she knew that I was waiting for her because she didn't say no.

I think thirties is still young. I'm in my late twenties and she never said it was an issue that I'm younger but her boyfriend does look to be in his fifties which makes me wonder if she prefers older guys? But if so then why didn't she say?

It's not ideal but I'd prefer it to being cut off and I don't want things to be awkward with the mutual friends.

All the thing is she wouldn't admit that she lied so now it even makes me start to doubt myself because she said I really hurt her! Thanks for being so understanding.

Ah sorry to hear that. It's really difficult because she says I'm the one who hurt her and now I can't discuss it with her. But even when I did when she was here, she got angry with me for labouring things on. I just feel that she told lies when I confronted her about the relationship to make herself not look bad and then she knew sure couldn't maintain the lies if she didn't cut me off. But now I think maybe I should have just not talked to her about this relationship so that we could have stayed friends! The crazy thing is the reason I thought she was interested and asked her out in the first place is that she was messaging me all the time and putting hearts in them!

Sorry to hear that. Like I said, it was one message and I said I won't contact her again if she doesn't want me to. I do think people should also think how much distress it causes someone to be blocked, especially without messaging them first. I think I've handled it very well by sending her a friendly message and not complaining about how I feel.

I sent one friendly message - I don't think that's unreasonable. She's making me feel as though I'm in the wrong when I'm not.