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  1. I think this was the approach that I told her when she mentioned about the fault issue. That is isn't inherently anyone's fault because we both have a past. I never asked for my life with my ex to be shared with the world nor did I expect her to follow said person to know those memories. When I got home and saw the album I went and threw it into the trash with out even a second thought because I simply don't care about it. When she arrived home I sat her down and we talked and she was level headed and understood that it meant nothing, that was until later that night. I guess how this escalated was the same day we had a party to go to for my friend in celebration of an achievement he made in his career. And she had a few drinks, which of course always happens as my friends love drinking with her (I don't like drinking, I do it socially only). When we got home, of course she starts talking about it. Hence us getting into it all. I guess if there is a resolution to this in the end is that I made it clear that it isn't ok for her to do this. I get when she accidently found a piece of ladies underwear in my closet a while back (again I didn't know it was there) I've told her not to clean my place as I have someone for that, and that even if she found the album, the minute she saw what it was she should have stopped. And now she will have to live with knowing what was in it. It sucks but that is what it is. She did apologize and genuinely feels bad about it but I am just trying my best to show her how much I care about her. And that we have to move on from it. So to be fair it was a shelving area that over looks my floor where my kitchen and my living room is. Hard to explain but yes it was a bit disorganized as I keep all my computer parts boxes on my build, my motorcycle helmets and their respective boxes as well as just other junk. So I can see why she wanted to organize it.
  2. I did sit her down to have a conversation, and while she did accept its her issue to deal with she seems resentful that it is always "her fault" hence why I am trying to see if maybe I have something to do with this. This is probably the second time this has happened the first time was a small piece of my ex's clothes was left in my closet somewhere and of course I had no idea it was there and she found it somehow of course. Since then I have purged my closet to see if there was anything left over. She complains that how come it is always her fault, but really did i do anything wrong? Like when she moved out of her place, she still had a whole storage of her ex's things that she was procrastinating to send back to him cuz he now lives out of the country. I didn't even bother to look into it because I knew better. If I saw something like photos or memories it'd would just mess with me so why bother?
  3. I had a long as post but figured this would be more direct. My current Gf was cleaning my house when I was at work as a surprise and found an old birthday gift from my ex. It was a small photo album of our 4 months together talking about how we met and how she loved me and ***. I wasn't keeping it for memories or anything I simply threw it up into my storage shelf when we broke up and completely forgot about it as I honestly haven't looked at my storage in years. I have thrown out a lot of my ex's things when we broke up which was over a 2 years ago now and we don't keep in touch as I have her blocked. But she found it and is now sad and insecure, thinking that I don't love her as much and stuff. Like saying how I don't like taking picture with my her but I took pictures with my ex. I explained that I don't like getting my picture taken and that my ex was a "social media influencer" so she constantly took pictures and forced me to take pictures with her (I do photography as a hobby). I put that in quotations because a social media influencer isn't real job unless you have 100k followers which my ex didn't it was something she wanted to gain but only had like 1000. But often time pictures of her happy with me was after a fight or argument and would usually be fake and my Gf can't seem to understand that. Anyway, what is the best way to deal with this? Any suggestions? Because I'm running out of ideas and now she went through the who album and read all the notes on it she is more insecure than ever.
  4. Appreciate the suggestion. We actually spend a lot of non-sexual time together. 24 weeks of dating, over a year of know each other all together. We do a lot of activities, whether it be date night though those are getting limited as covid restrictions are on the rise once again. We cook together and even go ride our motorcycles together (a hobbies she picked up from me and loves). In short we spend alot of time together, and honestly I wouldn't want it anyway. It isn't incompatible sexually, and I'm not sure you understand how it feels to deny someone who is initiating sex. I am worried I will hurt her as when I do, she often goes to the gym the next day and mentions she wants to be fit and look attractive to me. Even though I tell her I am attracted to her. I am wondering if this is normal for some or am I out to lunch in feeling tired of having sex. The actual sex once engaged isn't the issue. And I certainty don't think great sex is enough to keep a relationship together. All other aspects are perfect and I want to know if this is something I need to work on and figure out or if this is something to discuss and work together on. to answer directly, yes I am stressed with work right now. With covid restrictions on the rise here work could be affected and business will be slow meaning possible loss of income. She absolutely does and if I want something she is more than happy to oblige if she is comfortable with it. And no nothing in my past I enjoyed that I can't do with her to honest. with maybe the exception of one thing? But I'm not even sure I want to do that yet with her. I am feeling insecure in my self as I am the heaviest I have been so I know that if I go back to the gym and get in shape that would help and it is already something I am working on. And I do feel insecure sexually because I have gotten so used to the fact that if my partner doesn't enjoy or climax it bothers me somewhere inside me. While I have told her this I hope she does not fake it to appease me. But to answer you question yes. I don't ever feel like its faked but there was one time she did not climax and I think she could tell I was bothered. It was just an off night where I couldn't last which was very unlike me.
  5. Disclaimer: I didn't realize how graphic my post was going to be when I first started so I apologize if this offends anyone. So to start off, I am a (M32) and my GF is (F28). We've been together for 6 months now. At this age I find that what you seek for in a relationship is much more clear. And I am not afraid to say that I think she is the one. Quite confidently. She and I clicked from the moment we met but we took our time to get to know each other. What we found was that we were almost the same person. We both share interests in things such as fitness, or hobbies, taste in style, even food choices and adventures. Yet our own differences offset each others and work extremely well. We work in a somewhat similar industry and our drive to work hard and hustle to build a future is exactly the same so often find it so relatable and understandable when we shared frustrations or talk about our day. And I find it just so easy to be interested in her things that its just effortless which I now believe it is how it should be. Things she is into that I am not, I find interesting and want to learn, and vise versa she does the same. The bedroom is where I am worried, yet it isn't in the way you probably assume. To start I just want to say that I don't think I am exceptionally a great lover in bed, but I found often in past encounters I always strive to pleasure my partner. It's just who I am, as I find it gratifying. I mean I could easily just do a quickie and get off but it just never sits well. I like to get intimate, use my hands, and most importantly I enjoy helping my partner climax. I know some of you will try to be negative and say "they were probably faking it" which in all honestly they could be and I would never know. But I know at least from 1 of my ex's I was able to make her orgasm, quite violently I might add that I was scared that I thought she was having a seizure. And in many of my encounters I am told I help them achieve in someway. And sometimes it isn't obvious but sometimes it is extremely (ie convulsions, squirting aggressively, after sex having to just lay there and not move for 10 mins). Anyways to my point, I still think I am average. But often times in my past I get bored or grossed out with sex, infact my last ex as the relationship started to die, I often avoided sex as I just didn't enjoy it with her even though she enjoyed it with me. With my GF now, I notice that the sex is great, but she wants to do it every day. She had told me prior that in her past relationship they barely had sex, maybe 7 times in a year because it was awful. The first time we had sex, I made her climax so hard that she panicked and screamed because she didn't expect it, or experienced a climax during sex before. And of course the convulsions, she was stuck lying on the bed for 10 mins before she moved. In fact every time we have sex I often make her come multiple times. And before you say she's faking it, we often have to put a towel on the bed or whatever as she often.. you know. The sex was so good we basically have had sex every single day since we became official, and I'll be honest I am tired, and I find it harder to maintain a proper erection. We switch it up and stuff, and it's not that I don't want to be maybe I am just exhausted. She never forces me, but I feel bad for always letting her initiate because I think she is beginning to see that it is mostly her initiating. And she thinks because it is she is not attractive because she gained a few lbs and is going hard at the gym to get fit and toned again. I am worried that I get bored with sex to much or if it me just exhausted. Is there a way to approach this without upsetting her? And am I weird? Or is it normal for sex to feel this way, one of those to much of a good thing scenarios?
  6. what about the other way? Ever meet someone and just every nerve of your body and mind thinks they are the one? And even when you try to tell yourself that no this is to good to be true to soon and try to poke holes in it they keep getting better and better?
  7. Casual sex is exactly that. Casual. IF that's what you want who cares. You shouldn't care what the other person does and if he wants sex, it should only be when you are free. Don't drop whatever you're doing to chase it. I personally think there is more to your feelings than just casual and you have yet to realize it. There is no wrong way to handle casual sex as long as you treat it as that, casual.
  8. No please don't. You describe women as conquest and it just seems unhealthy. You insulted this girl and you were nothing more than just at a talking stage. How does that in anyway not give a clear sign that this is toxic behavior. She went so far as to block you? Her coming into a public place to shop is not an indication she wants you or is interested, her removing her so called bf from her public Instagram bio was not to get your attention and could mean nothing. Basically at this point the only so called "sign" she would be interested is if she comes up to you and asks you out. At this point you just look extremely creepy.
  9. I would imagine most people on here assumes you want to get back with her as you are asking for help on how to deal with her. Maybe you have not out right said you do or maybe you even mentioned that you don't but just the fact that you are thinking way to much about her to the point that you are seeking relationship advice online would imply something else. Otherwise if you really had no thoughts about getting back together, why would this even be more than a blip in your day? Honestly move on, no matter how long a relationship was, never means you or they owe it anything. Take the good memories and enjoy them, and the sad and angry ones as learning moments.
  10. It sounds like neither of you have grown really and probably means you shouldn't get back together. You mentioned in one of your post that it was her handling of the relationship that caused you to lash out. Seems like you're still not accepting your part in the break up. Whether you want to want to keep holding on to how she "hurt" you is one thing but I would guess many people would see that as justifiably based on you being also immature and lashing out. If she is so called giving "hints", which I think is really you grasping at straws because you haven't moved on because lets face it if you can't forgive someone you would have enough self respect to just walk away, then she hasn't matured either as you both seem toxic in the relationship. If what she did was that bad I don't think you'd be on here seeking for someone to say "yes forgive her and get back together" because that's what you want, hence not moved on. I get it if you guys are maybe in your 30's and have kids and a family and want to work it out for them, but unless I missed something, I think this is the perfect time to work on yourself and meet someone new. And I believe you don't have to be perfect to be with someone new, you can grow with them to.
  11. A friend of mine is recently in a new relationship and have already said they love each other. They were talking for about a month and met up and after basically seeing each other every day for a week and made it official. They both acknowledge how crazy its going and how fast and are both a bit scared but they seem to be on the same wave length. They have lots in common and even when I met her I felt like they were like the same people. Same humor, same interest, etc. My friend is asking me if I think things are going to quickly and I don't know how to answer him. Just curious to what people here think.
  12. Yea I guess, I'm just gonna try to distance myself and see what happens. She's made it clear that she isn't ready to jump into anything but also that she isn't closed off to it. I think maybe not texting every day will be a good, maybe ill just msg if after a while to catch up
  13. What's the best way to move on from a crush? Still friends with this person but I feel like I just need to move off this crush. Yes I like this girl, and there are hints that she likes me. But with Covid and just the impossible situation to date with our restrictions, dating right now just isn't quite in the cards. We've been talking for about 3 months now and just becoming good friends but we have not met, with restrictions loosening up here we have talked about grabbing coffee or something but the city still wont get there until the 8th. We talked about past relationships and she's given me the insight that she isn't looking specially for anything, as she is not on any dating sites or anything but she wants to get to know someone, become friends first and if something develops from it then great. Her logic based on her last relationship that went to long before she realized they weren't friends and it was not a fun relationship. She doesn't want to lead anyone on as she was accused of this once and she felt bad. But she kept saying that if something were to develop from it it would be great. Over the time that we have gotten to know each other, I have developed a crush. I want to remain friends and just have fun with it. And if it does develop into something, great, but I feel like my crush on her is making it more difficult for me as I overthink everything. Any tips to getting over a crush so I can just be calm and collected?
  14. I enjoy investing, crypto, i love my work, I love riding my motorcycle though I can't since it is winter right now here. I play Warzone with my coworkers and friends and I try to do home exercises, covid has seemly really restricted alot of these espeically my social interactions with friends too. interesting way of putting it but I get it I never thought of that, be a better friend to yourself. Therapy may still be on the table but that is a very interesting way to look at it.
  15. Days ago I admitted I still love my ex? Not sure where you got that. I love her as a person and want the best for her. My last post regarding anything to do with my ex was near christmas, it was def because it was tough during Christmas being completely alone as I was unable to see friends or family due to covid. I am asking exactly that, how do I stop myself from having this fear. I already posted that I have a fear of abandonment. I've accepted that my last relationship ended and it was a very mature end as we both walked away know that it wasn't working. Aside from the bouts of depression I have to struggle with I feel I am in a better place. I am not asking how do I date this new girl right now, infact its the opposite. I want to calm down and take it slow. As for working on myself I am, I am back to a workout and diet that I can follower that has help me lose 20 lbs. I have increase my focused at work and now I am up for a promotion. So in regards to that comment I can see my path of improvement. My problem is my insecurities and my thought process. Hence why I am considering help. From my perspective it feels like our connection goes up an down. Our phone talks have been great though. I think I just need to detach a bit. We haven't hung out yet due to covid though she is down when restrictions loosen up. Thanks, that is what I am trying to do. maybe its best I dont talk to her as much
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