das420

I think you should go visit. We went to the beach with her family while we were "apart" and had agreat time. Just try not to get too emotinal and don't bring up the relationship as much as possible. It is obvious she still wants to see you, just be strong. Thats what I did, I acted like I was on vacation that's it, and didn't sweat the fact I am totaly in Love with her and want her back. It worked well. Another update for me: We hung out at her parents house last night, as I was going to leave she asked me to stay the night. Nothing crazy happened, but we stayed up till 2 talking and laughing. We hung out all day today and had a great time, ended up making out, out of the blue. She was supposed to hang with friends, and here is the shocker, I was invited, and it was cool. I don't know if I should get my hopes up, or just write it off as a good day. Any opinions?

I have once, and it was with someone's fiancee. I was 19 and stupid. I was so paranoid and felt kinda dirty, so I'll never do it again.

This was also mentioned in my relationship, never caused a problem, but my now Ex g/f always got defensive. It isn't becasue you are inadequate, it is that men have to "release" every so often or we will explode. I just say be glad he is watching other ppl not finding other ppl.

Here's an update: We haven't seen each other in almost a week. I was supposed to stay with her on Thurs., but she said I'll call you, she says she said "you call me", because she called me wondering why I didn't show because I had never blown her off before. Even though it was unintentional it felt pretty good because last Fri. she said we'd do something, and left me waiting for 2 1/2 hours. when I called to see what was up, I was greeted by a not so friendly, drunken, "What?". Also she called last night before she went to bed and acted kinda sad. I think it is because I was out having fun with my friends, instead of waiting for the phone to ring like I used to. I have just moved and eventhough I have only lived at a different place for a week I feel better. I had to live in the apartment we shared by myself for a month, and it was pure hell. I love her to death and hope we work it out, but if it is over, my new roomate, who also broke up with his live-in girlfriend, is helping me to keep my head up. He is getting me to go out and have fun with the friends that we both haven't seen much since we were "married" (as one of our single friends would say.) I was realizing last night that maybe I need a little more time before I can get serious again.

hate to hear that. I think the NC makes people realize what they had, and what they are missing. It also make each person realize that they don't need the other to survive. Put the negative thoughts to bed, if he really cares he'll be back. It may not be tonight, or even 3 months. If he doesn't care you don't deserve him.

I am new here, but I think NC is a good idea, if for the right reasons. I have tried to institute NC with my ex, who I still love very much. I was the dumpee and she said she needed space and time to be young. I am the only one she has dated since HS. I don't want to make her jealous or feel guilty about hurting me. I just want to respect her wishes, and hopefully she'll see that down the road. However, she still makes almost daily contact with me. ususally just a five/ten -min chat on the phone, or a quick drop by the house. Should I see this as she still loves me, or she is offering friendship and nothing more?

my bad, shoulda specified. Anyway just as I said I'd start trying NC, I had a voicemail asking for a call back, probably will.

The friend is very much in the picture, as a matter a fact I blame this girl for just about everything that has happened. Also when we were together I've hung out with the both of them, and her friend always gave me the "you stole my best friend" looks. Oh well, I'll be cool. I'm trying to start NC (unless contacted) I think I might stop answereing callls for a while. I've read on this site that the only true space you can give someone is through NC. I love her to death, but waiting in limbo is just too much for me.

Ok, here's my story. I am 23 and my girl is 20. We had been dating since Feb 02. We lived together 10 months. We have been dating since her senior year of HS. Everything was going great until mid-April 2004. One of her friend's from high school that she's known sice 1st grade came around more often, and pretty much IMO played the "I'm the poor friend.. lose the guy and run with me." card. Since then she has decide to tke a "break", to "go be young" and have fun. Her and the friend got into a fight, and she wanted to get back together two days later. After a week the friend and her made up, and I was told she wasn't ready for a relationship, but she still loved me and wanted to be colse, and we'd try to get back together after she had a chance to be free. She has moved out and I am moving in with my old roomate who's girlfriend also moved out on him. She says there is noone else. I believe her because she still acts like she cares when we are together, and she's never given me a reason not to trust. We took a trip that was planned in Feb. to the beach 2 weeks ago. We had a great time, didn't fight once, and were intimate. We had a long talk before the trip, and agreed to be together on the vacation and take some more time apart after we got back. We discussed our ideas about marriage, kids, life, issues in the relationship, etc. in the talk. She said she was starting to believe I didn't want to be married, or at least when she did. The truth is I graduate from college in Dec., and after that is over I would love to have a wife., but I didn't say that because I need to know FOR SURE if thats what I want. We still talk almost daily, she initiates most of the contact, we see each other in some way about every other day. I still go stay the night at her parent's house sometimes. She wants to be held and hold hands, but she will rarely kiss me on the lips, just the cheek and forehead. This lack of affection kills me, but I think it is a game of hard to get. The only thing I can't stand is if I call her when she is with her friends, she acts short or rude, but when it is just me and her she is very nice and seems to enjoy my company. I do find myself wishing she would comeback, and I think of her constantly. Yesterday was the first time we went 24hrs w/o speaking, but she called me and came by this morning. I am trying to give her space and I am trying not to contact her unless, I have too, but I want to all the time. It does hurt me to be around her and not be with her, but we are both usually happy and very nice to each other when we hang out. Some say I should let it go, but I can't. Do any of you have any advice. Please help

Keep your head up. I am 23 and about to graduate college. I lived with a girl who I dated for 2 years. She is only 20 and we had been together since the last 3 months of her senior year of high school. We recently broke up, and I was hit with the same lines as you were. Shee needed "time and space", "need to grow up", "and needed to be on my own", blah blah. My best advice would be to keep up hope, but liveyour life. I told her I love her and I hope it works out, but I won't wait forever. I'm not saying you should date again immediatley, or that he is trying to date again. If he is like my girl, then he just wants to go out, and act his age, be irresonsible with no worries. I remember when I was 20 I went through this phase as well. It shouldn't last too long. Just be strong and try to enjoy life. the best way to get back with him is to keep your distance, and eventually (hopefully) he will see what he is missing