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Yea, it seems to be all about ups and downs. You have to gauge how someone feels about you to keep the chances down of "getting your feelings hurt". You see, this is what guys go through all the time, but we have to keep calling anyway without taking rejection personally. As someone else said, if you have been in a relationship with someone for years and then suddenly get rejected, then your feelings are really hurt! What you are going through is just a step in the process. Some day you will look back and laugh at all of this. Right now, just hang in there and let whatever happen happen.

It really helps me with my nervousness when i try to be straight forward with the person Im interested in. The more you try to cheat and hide the more you freak yourself out from just doing it. Not to mention you wont have to worry about her being confused if you just come clean. Since you have been with her before, after starting a conversation just say, "hey, I forgot to ask you for your number" or "hey, whats your number just incase I need to let you know of a cool place/party/gathering im going"" I want to stay in contact with you" Think about it, anyone can say that! Also be readily be willing to give your number on a pice of paper. And yes, it surprises the hell out of a girl calling before asking for her number. Now that I think about it, i wish i never would have done it.

Im wondering what to do now that this chick is smiling and waving at me after she passes by(this happened twice in the same day) even though a couple of weeks ago she said over the phone she was "talking to someone already and didnt want to lead me on" I havent talked to her since then, but looking at her (smoking) body, and her frendly smile, I feel that ive got to do something! Ive got a feeling it may be over since I didnt keep lines of communication open after she rejected me. (not saying anything, just smiling back) Im looking for a jetski partner and I think that would really impress her if she would just give me a chance.........but I dont want her to think I cant take no for an answer, but im tired of going to the lake by myself on Saturdays. I need to exaust all options here, i think shes worth it! Any ideas?

Thats exactly how I felt, like I was just another number. My sister wasent too happy with me. She felt I was being antisocial. She thinks that I played on the video games too much that night while everyone else was bowling. I didnt feel comfortable trying to get some girls attention who seemed to be already attached so I simply kept myself busy the rest of the night. (im pretty good at that) BTW my sister said she wasent riding with this guy, it just really appeared to be that way, and that she was happy to see me thinking I was like some famous person. whatever.

I just met this girl who is my sisters friend last weekend. She smiled at me, gave me the signs that she was interested in me. So my sister informed me that she would be at the bowling alley tonight with other friends. We all went to a bowling alley tonight. Anyway, she instantly recognizes me, hugs me while im playing in the arcade, smiles at me etc.and I noticed that she seems to flirt with not only me, but with this other guy, but I think that was her ride to the alley. It seems to me that I shouldint take this girl seriously or even ask her out if shes going to be touchy feely with other guys at the same time. before she left with her male friend, she mentioned about coming over to my place some day, since its only next door to my moms/sisters place. My sister asked what i thought about her, i said I think she was just a flirt. My sister swears the girl is not dating the other guy, but I question that. Maybe shes not looking for a relationship?? im the only one being serious here?? Im confused...Im new at this social stuff so bear with me.

Im in the same situation man, I got into the state patrol stationed in the big city at age 20 and stayed for 6 months before i left for a higher paying job ($15k more) installing police radios and working on the county radio system. Man somtimes it is so boring, same thing everyday but the paycheck isint. I finally found a police job that pays the same as a rookie and gives takehome cars. They are looking for 100 officers. Im currently sceduled to take the exam. Im so torn between the jobs (safe boring job vs. exciting job). Imean Im not married so why not?

Yes, many young people are open to interracial dating, but alot of it depends on how much of an influence (or how much of a fight) thier parents put on them to not date outside their race. Some people do not want to harm thier relationship with thier parents so they simply do what most people do.

I wouldnt ask him because it will put him on the spot to possibly lie to her if he dosent like her. You have to be a detective and look at the evidence.

Well if hes not calling you, he simply may not be interested, but Id stick by the phone just in case he got caught up in somthing important. Frankly I wouldnt worry about it. My policy when trying to start with someone is if anything is going to happen it will happen. Dont force it. Also, if you happen to see each other, just cheerfully say "call me sometime" That should loosen him up. If that dosent work hes probably not interested.

LOL, yea spirit creatures get pissed off on that comment.

Well at the end of the day, if you believe in Adam and Eve, we all came from those 2 people, thats one race right there, and God made them. We all live on the same planet, just different continents. People think about race toooo much. The only, only reason I would have against dating out of my race is because people look at it as somthing "different", like its an experiment, And in my life right now, im frankly tired of being different from everyone else. Otherwise I have no problem dating outside my race. Hey if she looks good and is friendly, im all for it.

I dont think Im hard to please in this area: 1. Very frendly and outgoing, Im a sucker for that one because it makes me feel more comforable. I think any woman can be like this if they like you enough. 2. Not fat, not thin, just inbetween. Preferably taller than me (dont ask me why) with atleast shoulder length hair, prefer dark hair. 3. Mostly someone who accepts me for who I am. I dont feel like id have to change for them to accept me. 4.can and will speak her mind without raising her voice or sounding like shes complaining. (not shy) Thats what turns me on, if I typed anymore Id would be just being picky.

Sounds VERY good. Especially if you like what you see. Id just play along. Be like a detective and find out what her motives are.

Yes a minefield, because I have no idea what im getting myself into until I actually let the girl know I like her. It would be nice if everyone carried around a sign that said, Status: Im stuck up, or Im taken, Im talking to someone, im married, I have issues, etc. And of course you have to try or else you get NO action. You see what I mean?

Yea, all I lost was time cleaning up my car, but it should have been clean anyway. This tells me somthing though. Dating is like a mine field, you have to keep walking though it while you are stepping on mines(rejections). And if shes talking to someone at this age, who knows how many others will say the same thing before I even reach 25. Id hate to be in this situation at 30. Everyone will be married by then!

Well, I called her to set up a time to hang out with her today and got my answer. After I ask if she wants to hang out she tells me shes already talking to someone and that she dosent want to lead me on. Oh well, atleast I tried. I figure I had no way of knowing that and I atleast got some experience.

I cant just ask if she has a boyfriend because that question can be used as a weapon against me since I havent shown her a good time yet. She could say yes when in reality its no. I was thinking of a few places we could go: 1. A huge mall, many things to do including eat 2. A bowling alley, complete with billiards, batting cage and mini arcade ,smaller but the main activity is bowling 4. Starbucks, but that may be at the mall anyway 5. uhh. cant think of anything else whadaya think?

I dont know what came over me but I met this girl at a new congregation Im attending and approached her. We talked a little about where we were from and I found out that shes new in the area for 3 months from another state. The next time I saw her I asked if she wanted to hang out with me on the weekends and asked for her number. She wrote it down! I really feel like ive accomplished somthing. Now I have to plan somewhere to go with her. I wasent really all that nervous because I didnt know everyone anyway and she was smiling the whole time. I am concerned about if she is already talking to someone else or not. One of the guys that I walked by on my way to my car mentioned "becarefull out there, (it was dark outside) and be carefull of those girls" I thought he was just being funny since he may have spotted me talking to her but, Whats the best way to find out if someone is already talking to someone else?

She sounds like a young person that wants to get out and have fun with other people as well as you. You said shes high maintenace and gets hit on alot. You cannot change how she will feel about other guys. (and she cant change you) Dont worry about being able to do as much as other guys can do. You are yourself. Be comfortable with that. There are plenty good women out here. Id say just be there for her and do what you reasonably can do for her. Its up to her how she will feel about you as time goes on.

Ah hah! A Challenge! Im going to take a stab at this. I think the best thing to do would be to call the office if it wasent too long ago and ask for her, even if you have to describe her over the phone. Then if you get her, try to get her to remember you and go from there. Thats really the only least threatning move i can think of.

Shy: Theres a scripture in the bible that talks about marrying only in the lord. Actually, if you type "marry in the lord" in the search engine alot of stuff will come up. Read this link.link removed Anyway, not to get off topic, caldus, I did see this one girl that would smile at me as she walked by every day. But I didnt have the balls to stop her and talk to her. I did start smiling at her when I did see her. Im going to just try smiling at girls to begin with and see where that goes. Anne24, I never thought of the 2 hours like that, maybe your right!

Well ShySoul, there are many more things that are discouraged, like who you hang out with for association, etc. Its about protecting yourself from others that may not share the same moral and spiritual boundaries. but the way it goes is if someone frankly dosent like it, theres the door. Well I dont want the door. But thats a worst case senario. In fact they mentioned it today. Its just strongly discoraged, much opposition. The marrage would be respected if it happened, but it wouldnt be blessed. Im going to do the best that I possibly can with my shyness and try to do things by the book.

I notice alot of you talking about not picking up girls at church events, Thanks for the advice folks, im about to leave to go there now, but I just want to mention that they STRONGLY encourage you to only date/marry in the religion. They figure that if you date outside the religion you are choosing someone that does not see the same moral values or spiritual things like you do. I know, its hard core. So, if you are part of the religion and you go to a congregation in your area of about 100 people every Sunday, and there are the same 4 girls in that whole congregation, what other choice do you have? And yes, its a must attend event, so Im not there JUST for the girls, id have to come anyway.

Its one of those statewide must attend events. I see everyone hanging off of somoene else, holding hands. I really feel stupid walking around by myself, Like im a lost kid. I try to look like im going somewhere. Since we have 2 hours to mingle during lunch I ususally spend most of it in my car listening to music with the A/C on but I know that wont help much. I figure this will happen every year until i get control of the situation. tomorrow is the last day.. I dont know why I get so self conscious when I spot someone im interested in, imean I think Im a great guy.

Im currently attending a religious convention at a stadium this weekend with up to 10,000 nicely dressed people there and I swear you can find ANY type of woman you want. When we are released for lunch the place is PACKED. Sound levels are high. Now my problem is how do you do a cold approach on someone your interested in? Usually they are walking by with someone, in a group conversation, etc. your by yourself. So what would you do in this sea of women? Oh by the way, once you walk by, chances you will not see her ever again. Personally I dont know where to start. Any Ideas?