Ellie56 Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 We've been together on and off for a long time, he did get married during one split and I also moved on but we got back together when both our relationships broke down, eventually he cheated and we split again but that didn't last so we rekindled again only to end it again as I couldn't forgive him anyway he ended it for good last September and we did remain friends and started sleeping together and spoke daily and got on well, he lives back at his mums as she had dementia anyway 2 weeks ago we had a silly argument and he went mad saying I had no compassion for his situation and it's over for good even as a friend and this was going to happen and I shouldn't be surprised..I have since seen he has blocked me on phone calls and wattsapp which has upset me because I never thought he would go this far considering our history..He did email last week saying it was for the best and give it a fee months and maybe we can be friends..Should I even be his friend now or just cut him off for good? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 He did you a favor. Not block and delete him from all your social media and messaging apps. You are toxic to each other. Forget about being on/off, or fwb or 'friends'. Find some good friends, find a good bf and get toxic people like this guy out of your life.We've been together on and off for a long time, he did get married during one split he ended it for good last September and we did remain friends and started sleeping together and spoke daily and got on well, he lives back at his mums I have since seen he has blocked me on phone calls and wattsapp Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 FWBs is far different than true friends, simply because friends don't sleep together. Of course it's your call, but why sell yourself for such a cheap price? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Do you intend to stay in this toxic relationship indefinitely? Don't you want a nice, secure and loving relationship with someone who is consistent? Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Either way if he's separated or still married he's off the table. You seem a bit too overinvested to be involved with someone like this. Are you single? He has other things to sort out and seems split apart in different directions. The issue with his mum's dementia is also causing a lot of stress. Being friends is a future proposition coming from him which means that it doesn't require any immediate action from you. Just let things rest, mull about it and see what you feel months from now. Never rush anything that feels like it needs rushing especially over someone as volatile as this. Put this on the backburner and move on with your life. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 It sounds like this needed to come to an end, and here you are. I don't think trying to be friends again in a few months is smart. It's time to let him go. Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Be glad and relieved that he blocked you. He's too unstable. He actually did you a favor so take his "gift" and run with it. Link to comment
TopicEx Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Yeah, both of you are each others back up plan !! this cycle will go on and on until someone takes control and stands strong and breaks the cycle , then and only then you can reset , why? Because your showing yourself respect and showing them to respect you ,know your worth guys! TopicEx Link to comment
TopicEx Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Ohh one more thing the reason why he's blocked you again he's got someone lined up and he docent want you contacting him while he's with the new one because she's gonna ask question"s and that could cause drama, look what he emailed you "it was for the best and give it a fee months and maybe we can be friends" thats him saying let me see have this new girl works out !! you his back up plan , my advice take control and don't take that crap your worth more ! you watch him unblock you in time and the only reason he will do that is because it didn't work out with his new toy . TopicEx Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 This is awful. Why do you continue to return to be treated like crap? C'mon! He is not your friend, not does he respect you. Move on and stop wasting your life with this creep! Block and delete. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 .Should I even be his friend now or just cut him off for good? Going by the incredibly dysfunctional and toxic history you two have, I would say that cutting him off for good is way overdue and the right thing to do - for both of you. He did you a favour, now you do HIM a great big favour too. Time to walk away from this time bomb. Link to comment
Ellie56 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 Thanks everyone for your advice, it was hard reading some of them but you are right its toxic and it should of ended for good years ago..i think i just got so used to his messed up ways it was like the norm for me..This is just a fraction of what hes done and said .. But i will never let him use me again Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 Thanks everyone for your advice, it was hard reading some of them but you are right its toxic and it should of ended for good years ago..i think i just got so used to his messed up ways it was like the norm for me..This is just a fraction of what hes done and said .. But i will never let him use me again Awesome. You can now delete all messages from him that you have saved, delete any pics and then remove his contact info from all your devices. If you feel you can't resist him, consider blocking him from contacting you. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 You are confused? Let's look at all of this 'mess' :/. YOu two were involved previously.. broke up- he married..but got together again. With that reuniting, he cheated on you... so you split up..again.... BUT, that didn't last cause you went back..again!? This is what's wrong.. YOU keep falling back.. with everything you know. * He is toxic*. You sound trauma bonded.. Not good! Like you are wrapped around his lil finger.,. even with his history. he ended it for good last September and we did remain friends and started sleeping together and spoke daily and got on well, he lives back at his mums as she had dementia anyway 2 weeks ago we had a silly argument and he went mad saying I had no compassion for his situation and it's over for good even as a friend and this was going to happen and I shouldn't be surprised. - No. No 'friends'.. no benefits.. Nothing! He is an idiot.. a messed up man. YOU deserve better.. Right! So, he has blocked you - good! Why would you want to continue anything with someone so messed? ( Because of your past.. as i said.. trauma bonded. Is hard to get over it all & let go, but for your own mentality.. It;s time! Like Wiseman said.. He did you a favour. Let's hope in time you DO realize your self worth. Link to comment
Ellie56 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 You are not the first to say im trauma bonded and i do agree that this is a messed up situation, he has a way about him that lures you in.. I dont need him as i have a lot going for me and he hasnt , hes back at his mums and lost everything when he left his wife.. Hes stolen off me said iv done things when i havent and ignored me when things didnt go his way.. But for some mad reason i kept going back.. He had 2 sides to him and he kept calling me constantly.. Im sure he was a narcissist .. But im definitely wont be going back , him blocking me is the final straw.. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 You are not the first to say im trauma bonded and i do agree that this is a messed up situation, he has a way about him that lures you in.. I dont need him as i have a lot going for me and he hasnt , hes back at his mums and lost everything when he left his wife.. Hes stolen off me said iv done things when i havent and ignored me when things didnt go his way.. But for some mad reason i kept going back.. He had 2 sides to him and he kept calling me constantly.. Im sure he was a narcissist .. But im definitely wont be going back , him blocking me is the final straw.. What will you do when he unblocks you and contacts you again? You know he will. Link to comment
Ellie56 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 Nothing will change so i would be stupid to go back .. I cant be friends or anything else now Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 Nothing will change so i would be stupid to go back .. I cant be friends or anything else now So what is your plan? Have you blocked him from contacting you? Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 . But im definitely wont be going back , him blocking me is the final straw.. It's easy saying that, but WILL you carry it through? After all, you have returned over and over again, even knowing it was toxic. Do you believe you'll be strong enough this time to walk away, forever? Link to comment
Ellie56 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 Yes i believe i can.. Where else can we go with this ! Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 Yes i believe i can.. Good girl! I wish you well. Link to comment
Ellie56 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 No hes divorced and has been for 10 years and yes im single ..He has issues and i think dealing with his mums situation has stopped him doing a lot of things with his life so it gets him down Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 No hes divorced and has been for 10 years and yes im single ..He has issues and i think dealing with his mums situation has stopped him doing a lot of things with his life so it gets him down So when you're down you act abusive toward people? Especially people you claim to care about? I'm going to guess no, you don't. Everyone goes through tough times. That is no reason to treat people poorly. I'm worried since you're still making excuses for his behavior that all he'll have to do is unblock you and text you "Hey" and you'll go right back. Have you blocked him from contacting you? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 I think you need to focus why you returned to this awful situation, over and over. You can change your behavior, but you cannot change his. What was happening in your life, where you allowed this horrendous behavior for so long? Block him. Link to comment
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