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Thread: I need help.. living with ex!

  1. #1
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    I need help.. living with ex!

    So, I was with my ex partner for 3 and half years, they were good. I'm a lesbian and I thought she was too! She cheated on me a couple of times and I took her back. We recently moved into our new home (April) and got engaged in July.. by September she told me she didn't know if she wanted the relationship because she wanted to travel, so I ended it for her because I was tired of been messed around..
    I ended up losing my job because of the problems at home.
    She doesn't want to go back her mothers and I don't have somewhere to go to..
    She has started to speak to another guy and recently slept with him the 1st time they met (last night) she says she is out of love with me and is now straight.. but yet still hasnt moved out. I'm just curious, if you really liked somebody why would you still want to live with your ex?? We only had sex 3 days ago and she was telling me how much she loved me and she hopes that she doesnt like him.. she was also upset when I met someone else before she met him (I met as friends and didnt do anything with this person) and she ended up saying she wanted to start again with me but now shes saying that this guy has picked up the pieces.. I mentioned around having a friend over and she went mad by saying this is her house and its disrespectful.. thoughts please? Does she really have this feeling towards this guy or is she just blocking out how she really feels?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I'm sorry for the hurt and confusion.

    I don't think anyone can tell you what she feels. From what you've written, though, this all certainly sounds like a dramatic living situation, and general situation, that you'd be best exiting for the sake of your own feelings.

    When you come to the table with "I'm living with my ex who is sleeping with someone and I'm all sorts of bent out about it" you are really limiting the pool of people who are going to be interested in you, or take you seriously. You may also be limiting your ability to take yourself seriously, which is the deeper cut.

    Why not take this all as a sign that this has run its course, and then some, and that it's time to find a way to extricate yourself from it rather than try to figure out what she really feels? She's a woman who cheated on you multiple times, who is wishy-washy and self-centered, and who doesn't seem to offer you much more than emotional turbulence.

    What, exactly, is the draw to all that?

  3. #3
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    She is leaving next Monday.. she has a house viewing, she could go back her mums for the time being but she won't..I've accepted it's over but I just wish she would respect what we had and wait to start something else with someone.

  4. #4
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    How much more disrespect are you going to tolerate? She has cheated on and lied to you repeatedly.

    Move in with a friend or family.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by StokeCity1
    She is leaving next Monday.. she has a house viewing, she could go back her mums for the time being but she won't..I've accepted it's over but I just wish she would respect what we had and wait to start something else with someone.
    She never respected what you had, why should she now? You should have left after the first incident.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Meaning she is leaving leaving? Is the plan for you to live in the house alone? Is there a plan here?

    It doesn't sound like she showed a lot of respect for what you had when you had it. She was unfaithful, topsy-turvy. To expect someone who behaved like that inside a relationship to treat it as holy once its over, while understandable, is not the best sort of hope to invest much energy into.

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    I wish I did but I was blinded by love

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Meaning she is leaving leaving? Is the plan for you to live in the house alone? Is there a plan here?

    It doesn't sound like she showed a lot of respect for what you had when you had it. She was unfaithful, topsy-turvy. To expect someone who behaved like that inside a relationship to treat it as holy once its over, while understandable, is not the best sort of hope to invest much energy into.
    Yes she is leaving for good and I'm staying here

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    She never respected what you had, why should she now? You should have left after the first incident.
    I wish I did. I was blinded by love

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by StokeCity1
    I wish I did but I was blinded by love
    You need to love yourself.

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