Hot, cold but now pursing me?

Hey!

Chatting to a girl that has been going really well, but suddenly she went cold. I shrugged it off, got on with life and thought fine what ever.

Only 2-3 days later she messages me, I don't jump at the message I waited and finally reply. Found out her dog had died and she knows I'm a dog owner So I sent a small text about the dog and her leaving her to get the last word, then I went cold.

Few days later she messages again with "so, how have you been?"

She already asked me a few days ago, but I reply with a bit of a random message about my weekend that I enjoyed. She replied with all the laughing emoji stuff and I ignored it for a bit, only for her to send another message in a hour to give my phone a nudge I guess?

What is this?! I know I'm playing games at this point but in my head I thought she was done, is she pursuing or just wanting attention?

So, she stopped talking to you for like 2 days and in your head you think she is done? Now you are playing games with her?

It doesn't sound like you are terribly interested, maybe just stop talking to her altogether.

So, she stopped talking to you for like 2 days and in your head you think she is done? Now you are playing games with her?

 

It doesn't sound like you are terribly interested, maybe just stop talking to her altogether.

Sorry left out some context so it makes me look disinterested and a d××k I realise. Im very interested. Basically her last message was blunt cold and very different like there was no point me messaging her again considering she had been very hot on my case. Looks overreacting I know with 2 days but the last message felt like a shrug you off I'm interested in other things.

Yeah, I'm not sure I would call it "going cold" if her dog actually died and she didn't text you for 2 days. That's not exactly an aphrodisiac, mate. If you are interested in her, show it. Game playing is for children.

I agree with everyone else. It sounds like she stopped texting to deal with her loss, which is perfectly understandable in my opinion. If you're interested in her I'd start showing it again, unless you want this to fizzle out. Ignoring her messages deliberately, because she took 2 days (!) to deal with the death of her dog, sounds very petty to me.

OP, are you actually dating this girl? Have you met her in person?

Her dog didn't die during those days of silence I just want to make that clear. The last message I got was cold and blunt. She messaged me the day her dog died to which I'm not gonna ignore because that's an incredibly tough thing to go through.

OP, are you actually dating this girl? Have you met her in person?

Met, dates, kissed etc was going well. I mean I'm glad we are talking I think my lack of context in the initial post has made this confusing

How do you know she wasn't busy or preoccupied when she messaged you? What made her message cold?

If you've been sending tons of smiley faces for every message, it may have been one of those instances where she was sending a response real quick and it came off as cold. It's probably hard to keep this style of messaging up, but that's the problem with constant texting in my opinion. Better not read too much into 1 text. I mean, 1 message sounded cold and blunt to you, so you write her off?

Texting is a huge problem in relationships, in fact for anything which isn't purely an exchange of information. You don't get to see body language, facial expression and all the other things which convey real meaning and I think it's dangerous to write her off on the basis of a text.

To be honest, it sounds as though she's interested but has other things going on in her life, and her level of attention to you is appropriate given that you don't really know each other yet.

However, your game-playing and reading things into what are probably quite innocent deeds on her part, do not bode well. I'm guessing that you're punishing her for not being as involved as you are... so either move on and find someone whose need for communication chimes with yours, or be honest with yourself AND her - be really pleased that she's back again, and enjoy your developing relationship!

OP... she probably has a life, was busy when you texted or maybe upset about something else. None of what you said indicates she went "cold" on you. Why do you assume her message was meant to be cold? Why do you choose to interpret it as a negative instead of straight up asking her if everything is ok?

You seem very sensitive and insecure about her feelings about you.

Even if she did go cold momentarily, it’s still early days. Very few relationships have one solid, straight, consistant path. Usually they bob and meander and develop over time. Maybe it all just felt intense for her and so she backed off for a moment to take a breather and gain perspective.

The important part, though, is that you (correctly) backed off for a moment to allow her space and she (appropriately) came back of her own accord.

Do you want to be with her? I agree that you are playing games now, maybe because you are hurt, and are being a bit passive-aggressive now.

It may work out, it may not - but it doesn’t sound like she did anything write-off worthy if you really like her...

suddenly she went cold. I shrugged it off, got on with life

Only 2-3 days? You mean 2 days later! You got on with life.........In 2 days and that means "life"? lol

You`re now ignoring her. Don't analyse it, if your not interested, just stop it. Stop with the games.

Why waste time playing games? Either date her if you are still interested or end it if you're not. What is the point of messages like this?

I reply with a bit of a random message about my weekend that I enjoyed.

Why waste time playing games? Either date her if you are still interested or end it if you're not. What is the point of messages like this?

Exactly. Texting is for setting dates and appointments.

Set a date the next time she texts. Until then, go on with your life and quit worrying about it.