I'm 27...should I lie about my virginity?

So I'll get straight to the point.. I'm 27 years old and still a virgin. I'm not ugly, weird, overly religious or anything like that. For the most part nobody knows I'm a virgin; not even most of my closest friends. People tend to assume the opposite about me, that I'm a ladies man. That makes it all the more uncomfortable. I didn't even have my first kiss until I was 25!

Most people I know lost it in high school. I had a chance right before graduation with a girl who was a freshman. I avoided it largely because I was afraid of getting in trouble (she was only 14 and I was 18).

When I was 19, I had a huge crush on a girl who didn't like me back. That really killed my confidence for a long time.

In my early-mid 20s, I largely relied on online dating. In hindsight this was stupid...I was catfished while missing out on a few more chances to lose my virginity.

I got my first girlfriend when I was 25. I was shocked at how naturally kissing and making out came. It made me feel less bad about being a virgin..that when that time comes, it will come naturally too.

Now I'm (finally) in a position where I can meet a lot of attractive women. I have been hitting the gym hard and getting good results. I'm relatively tall (6'2") and starting to get a physique that stands out. Attractive women generally react very well to me at this point.

An issue I have is that women seem to pick up on my lack of experience and lose interest. One girl seemed to be convinced I couldn't meet the demands of her high libido when she found out I was a virgin. Should I start lying about this? Should I play it off until it's time to actually have sex? How the hell am I supposed to lose my virginity when women who otherwise dig me become apprehensive once they discover this secret?

Thanks to any advice you can provide. I really want to get this monkey off my back!

NO!

I personally don't think you should lie about your virginity. I would say I'm attractive and very fit woman with a high libido and I completely am into guys that have a very low number because it shows they were choosey about who they were with. That they see the act of sex as something more special than most guys.

As for me I have been with three people I loved and a single one time thing. Do yourself a favor and don't waste your virginity on someone you don't love. Sex with someone you love or are really into is a million times different than someone you don't care about.

Some woman would really appreciate and adore you for getting the chance to be your first.

As for this woman that acted like you wouldn't be enough for her high libido. That has me cracking up. Once you have sex you're probably going to be all about it all the time with whoever your with. Another fun thing about being in a loving relationship or being close to someone you sleep with is that the sex will grow and get better and better.

Someone will really appreciate that and there is no need to lie about it.

Where are you meeting girls? You need to find a nice girl who may have had just one or two long-term relationships who is falling in love with you and will show you what they like. You're not going to find them in singles bars or meat markets. Maybe a nice college girl or someone just out of school.

No, not at all... It's always better to lose virginity with "the one". You'll be admired by so many girls that you didn't get carried away like usually these days people get. If you would have told me that, I would have really appreciated that and would've admired you for your gentleman qualities.

The women that are being flaky and are put off by you being a virgin are a waste of your time and not women you would find anything decent with anyhow. Why?Because they sound shallow and judgemental.

Wait until you find the right woman. Date until you meet someone who is special and whom you feel close to. She won't judge and she will make you feel comfortable an loved.

Don't lose your virginity to just anyone who smiles at you the right way.

You've waited all this time, wait for the right one.

They shouldn't be hearing about your sexual experiences or inexperience. Act naturally and let things happen.

when she found out I was a virgin.

NO!

 

I personally don't think you should lie about your virginity. I would say I'm attractive and very fit woman with a high libido and I completely am into guys that have a very low number because it shows they were choosey about who they were with. That they see the act of sex as something more special than most guys.

 

As for me I have been with three people I loved and a single one time thing. Do yourself a favor and don't waste your virginity on someone you don't love. Sex with someone you love or are really into is a million times different than someone you don't care about.

 

Some woman would really appreciate and adore you for getting the chance to be your first.

 

As for this woman that acted like you wouldn't be enough for her high libido. That has me cracking up. Once you have sex you're probably going to be all about it all the time with whoever your with. Another fun thing about being in a loving relationship or being close to someone you sleep with is that the sex will grow and get better and better.

 

Someone will really appreciate that and there is no need to lie about it.

Thank you for your thoughts...its good to hear you feel this way. The girl I mentioned has been with the same amount of guys and was fully convinced I couldn't handle her, which I think is nonsense.

I get the idea that sex in a serious relationship is better, but the older I get the less interested I am in those kinds of relationships. At least as far as looking for them is concerned. I kind of feel like if I was meant to lose it in such a special way, it would have happened by now.

Where are you meeting girls? You need to find a nice girl who may have had just one or two long-term relationships who is falling in love with you and will show you what they like. You're not going to find them in singles bars or meat markets. Maybe a nice college girl or someone just out of school.

Mostly at work, which is a retail environment. I don't really know if I want a "nice girl" at this point though.

No, not at all... It's always better to lose virginity with "the one". You'll be admired by so many girls that you didn't get carried away like usually these days people get. If you would have told me that, I would have really appreciated that and would've admired you for your gentleman qualities.

Well thank you. My only concern is...what if I don't meet "the one" until I'm 30? Or 40? Should I wait that long to lose my virginity?

The women that are being flaky and are put off by you being a virgin are a waste of your time and not women you would find anything decent with anyhow. Why?Because they sound shallow and judgemental.

 

Wait until you find the right woman. Date until you meet someone who is special and whom you feel close to. She won't judge and she will make you feel comfortable an loved.

Don't lose your virginity to just anyone who smiles at you the right way.

 

You've waited all this time, wait for the right one.

I know that's a righteous way to look at it...and it's exactly how I used to view things. But with each passing birthday, I honestly care less and less about that sentimental stuff. I just want to get it over with.

Don't see the need to tell. It's not like they can possibly be asking you if you're a virgin, right?

If they ask a number, you maybe are compelled to be honest, and I can see how that might turn some women off.

An experienced woman can tell if you lack experience.

 

Why not seek out nice women who have low numbers (well okay they can lie too lol) but be choosy with who you decide to be with. If they run off finding out the truth, then you wouldn't be compatabile anyway.

The one girl actually asked me flat out if I was a virgin. That threw me off. I said yes and she didn't believe me for awhile, but once she realized I was being serious I could tell she was uncomfortable with it.

The girl I was with before was also a virgin, but we have decided to just be friends at least for now (due to some difficult circumstances in her life). Losing it to her would have been special, if only because it would be the first time for both of us. If anything, at least my (extremely late) first kiss was a special moment.

My thing about women with low numbers is I feel that it would be awkward with two inexperienced people. I would kind of prefer a woman with more experience who could lead me along. But am I just over thinking that?

They shouldn't be hearing about your sexual experiences or inexperience. Act naturally and let things happen.

This is what I've been telling myself. Thanks for the advice. How should I avoid answering those types of things? I need to get better at playing it off to make that approach work.

If someone has a very high libido I can see why they don't want to invest in someone who is a wild card on libido.

You don't know how much sex you will maintain in a relationship after the honeymoon phase has passed.

I personally need at least 3 or 4 times a week, with 7+ a week being preferred.

If I was single and started dating a girl I would be very interested to know how frequent she typically like to have sex after the honeymoon phase wore off.

If I was told "I've never had sex before" I would be very cautious about pursuing a relationship with that person.

But that primarily has to due with the fact that 95% of the population cannot maintain my libido in a long term relationship.

I wouldn't want to invest a year or two into a person like that then find out we are sexually incompatible.

So don't take it personal that a person with a high libido and knows what they want isn't interested. They are saving the both of you time.

I also don't put a lot of stock into virginity. Honestly, who cares?

It is a bodily function that done irresponsibly can have huge consequences, but still a nature part of life.

With that said, I have only had one sexual partner and I am 30.

Numbers do not equate to efficacy.

I would be amused to see the reaction my wife would have if someone assumed we had lack luster sex because we have each only had one partner.

I also know a few woman who are big into partying and hook up with guys frequently. The number one complaint they have is that many guys who do hook ups are not very skilled.

They seem to look for guys that have had a LTR because they have found guys that haven't are not worth the effort.

I feel that people who really care for their partner and want to make them happy are much superior lovers than people with a huge amount of experience but lack LTR.

its BS that you cannot know someone's libido if they are a virgin. if they had made out with people before, you know what your sex drive is. It just means that you have not had penetrive sex. I would not say anything about being a virgin (unless a woman is telling you she values her virginity and is waiting for the right one). I would kiss a woman you are dating if it gets that that point and just don't have sex for awhile -- if the time comes and you meet a woman you want to commit to, you will obviously talk about sex before having it.

To me, i would be more concerned if a guy didn't have lasting friendships, etc, and had never been on a date vs virginity (to me, having a minimal amount of partners is a plus, but that's me.)

Well if it's any consolation redcoldriver, I'm 32 and a virgin.

I haven't felt it be an issue, but it's something that when I lose it, I want it to be with the right person. It's one of the things that hurt with my ex, that I felt ready to talk to her about it, and I knew she'd understand.

As it happens she finished it, and well....ultimately I'm glad we never did it but it's something that's really hurt over the past few months is I felt sure she was the one I wanted to lose it with.

I wouldn't like about it, I live in hope that a women would possibly find it special for a guy to lose it with her.

Don't lie. Not every girl will be a jerk.

its BS that you cannot know someone's libido if they are a virgin. if they had made out with people before, you know what your sex drive is. It just means that you have not had penetrive sex. I would not say anything about being a virgin (unless a woman is telling you she values her virginity and is waiting for the right one). I would kiss a woman you are dating if it gets that that point and just don't have sex for awhile -- if the time comes and you meet a woman you want to commit to, you will obviously talk about sex before having it.

 

To me, i would be more concerned if a guy didn't have lasting friendships, etc, and had never been on a date vs virginity (to me, having a minimal amount of partners is a plus, but that's me.)

I made out with my ex several times...it really did come naturally to me. She told me I was learning very fast. I just don't like someone assuming I'm not a sexual person because I have never had sex. It's not accurate and makes me feel pretty bad about myself.

Well if it's any consolation redcoldriver, I'm 32 and a virgin.

I haven't felt it be an issue, but it's something that when I lose it, I want it to be with the right person. It's one of the things that hurt with my ex, that I felt ready to talk to her about it, and I knew she'd understand.

 

As it happens she finished it, and well....ultimately I'm glad we never did it but it's something that's really hurt over the past few months is I felt sure she was the one I wanted to lose it with.

 

I wouldn't like about it, I live in hope that a women would possibly find it special for a guy to lose it with her.

I know what you mean man...my ex was also a virgin and we talked about losing it to each other. Do you feel like you might be happier if it had happened?

Sometimes I wonder how different I'd be by now if I had lost it at 18 or 23 when I had chances I turned away from. Maybe I wouldn't be any different at all. Who knows?

Don't lie. Not every girl will be a jerk.

Thanks...I don't even think she was trying to be one but it came across that way.

I know what you mean man...my ex was also a virgin and we talked about losing it to each other. Do you feel like you might be happier if it had happened?

 

Sometimes I wonder how different I'd be by now if I had lost it at 18 or 23 when I had chances I turned away from. Maybe I wouldn't be any different at all. Who knows?

I'm really glad we didn't. It was such a short relationship and I've now realised I was her rebound/coping mechanism after her divorce. For me it would have hurt even more if we had.

my ex was also a virgin and we talked about losing it to each other. Do you feel like you might be happier if it had happened?

Actually, I lost my virginity to a virgin. I was not in a rush to lose it because I feared pregnancy and STDs. But when I was closing in on 20 and dating a guy who was also a virgin, it just seemed like a good idea to get it over with together. I don't necessarily regret doing that, but I've often wished that I had waited for a more meaningful relationship with a better physical connection. You can achieve an excellent physical connection when you are still a virgin. It is something that does come naturally.

I made out with my ex several times...it really did come naturally to me. She told me I was learning very fast. I just don't like someone assuming I'm not a sexual person because I have never had sex. It's not accurate and makes me feel pretty bad about myself.

 

you simply have not experienced penetration. Making out, fondling, etc, is still sex -- its just sex without penetration. it all sexual contact.

 

An issue I have is that women seem to pick up on my lack of experience and lose interest. One girl seemed to be convinced I couldn't meet the demands of her high libido when she found out I was a virgin. Should I start lying about this?

That woman was almost nonsensical. A lack of experience doesn't equal lack of sex drive. You might want to consider the negative self talk. You seem convinced women are picking up on your lack of experience and losing interest. The reality is you don't really know. It's normal for women to lose interest. The majority of women you date will lose interest for one reason or another. Just accept in and move on. It really is a long hard search to find mutual attraction and compatibility.

I don't recommend lying. I do recommend politely telling people to mind their own business. Your sex life is no one's business. If they ask, smile, and say "That's kind of private",then move on to another topic.