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Thread: Am I flirting with an affair?

  1. #1
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    Am I flirting with an affair?

    I'm a middle aged married man. I recently kissed a younger co worker on one of our business trips. She initiated it and I followed. Since then I've noticed I've gotten more attention than usual from her. She'll text me once and a while but nothing inappropriate or discussing what happened. I'm not trying to engage in taking what happened any further. But I also don't want to assume she's interested. Just because she's being nice to me doesn't mean she wants anything more. I think we're both embarrassed but I also don't want to send he mixed signals. What's the best way to deal with this? Is it possible that she likes me? She's not being overbearing or inappropriate but on my birthday she bought me a small and thoughtful gift. My coworkers also took me out for a drink on my birthday. She couldn't make it but sent me a text message saying she was bummed she couldn't make it out. I need to travel with her again. Do I need to be careful? I feel so naive about this. I didn't ever expect this to happen. Ive always assumed someone being nice to me was simply that. But since we've already made a bad decision with the kiss have I opened the door up to trouble?

    I know I'm being an idiot. But I'm also just trying to process what I'm feeling and how to deal with the situation. If she's simply being nice and this isn't flirting I wont read into it.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Well, you cheated and are currently cheating, so there’s that.

  3. #3
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    Yes I know. I feel terrible about that. The currently cheating remark surprised me though. The realization of what that means sheds some light on my actions. Cheating isn't always physical.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    It’s an emotional affair. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t care if she’s into you or not.

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  6. #5
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    You're not flirting with an affair. You're having an affair.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    Well, you cheated and are currently cheating, so there’s that.
    I agree! Did you tell your wife?

    If your wife had done the same would you consider it cheating? How would you feel if she continued contacted and accepted gifts from the guy?

  8. #7
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    I feel terrible. And yes it's cheating. I guess I was just trying to figure out if it was worth telling the other person that I can't / will not go any further. I guess I was selfishly more concerned with looking like I assumed she wanted more. When in reality it doesn't matter. It starts with me.

  9. #8
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    Are you willing to lose your marriage over you ego?

  10. #9
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    How would you feel if your wife had done the same?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    i think you should stop thinking whether there's anything to tell this coworker...and start thinking about how you're going to tell your wife instead

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