Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 10 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 94

Thread: Am I flirting with an affair?

  1. #1
    Hemingway278
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    13

    Am I flirting with an affair?

    I'm a middle aged married man. I recently kissed a younger co worker on one of our business trips. She initiated it and I followed. Since then I've noticed I've gotten more attention than usual from her. She'll text me once and a while but nothing inappropriate or discussing what happened. I'm not trying to engage in taking what happened any further. But I also don't want to assume she's interested. Just because she's being nice to me doesn't mean she wants anything more. I think we're both embarrassed but I also don't want to send he mixed signals. What's the best way to deal with this? Is it possible that she likes me? She's not being overbearing or inappropriate but on my birthday she bought me a small and thoughtful gift. My coworkers also took me out for a drink on my birthday. She couldn't make it but sent me a text message saying she was bummed she couldn't make it out. I need to travel with her again. Do I need to be careful? I feel so naive about this. I didn't ever expect this to happen. Ive always assumed someone being nice to me was simply that. But since we've already made a bad decision with the kiss have I opened the door up to trouble?

    I know I'm being an idiot. But I'm also just trying to process what I'm feeling and how to deal with the situation. If she's simply being nice and this isn't flirting I wont read into it.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    mustlovedogs
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    2,871
    Well, you cheated and are currently cheating, so there’s that.

  3. #3
    Hemingway278
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    13
    Yes I know. I feel terrible about that. The currently cheating remark surprised me though. The realization of what that means sheds some light on my actions. Cheating isn't always physical.

  4. #4
    mustlovedogs
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    2,871
    It’s an emotional affair. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t care if she’s into you or not.

  5. #5
    MissCanuck
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    4,702
    You're not flirting with an affair. You're having an affair.

  6. #6
    Hollyj
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    14,321
    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    Well, you cheated and are currently cheating, so there’s that.
    I agree! Did you tell your wife?

    If your wife had done the same would you consider it cheating? How would you feel if she continued contacted and accepted gifts from the guy?

  7. #7
    Hemingway278
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    13
    I feel terrible. And yes it's cheating. I guess I was just trying to figure out if it was worth telling the other person that I can't / will not go any further. I guess I was selfishly more concerned with looking like I assumed she wanted more. When in reality it doesn't matter. It starts with me.

  8. #8
    Hollyj
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    14,321
    Are you willing to lose your marriage over you ego?

  9. #9
    Hollyj
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    14,321
    How would you feel if your wife had done the same?

  10. #10
    RainyCoast
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    4,315
    i think you should stop thinking whether there's anything to tell this coworker...and start thinking about how you're going to tell your wife instead

  11.  

Page 1 of 10 1234 ... LastLast
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •