I HATE my family and would not be sad if they died

While I don't actively wish for the deaths of my parents and brother, I can promise if they were to die, I would not attend their funerals nor feel any sadness. The three of them have caused unreal amounts of grief for me and have ruined my life. I don't care about them in the least, I am constantly thinking of ways to get them. I have even gone and terrorized them late at night at their respective houses. Even at the risk of being arrested and prosecuted. I just don't care anymore because I have nothing left to lose. I nearly ran my brother off the road recently, because seeing him in traffic sent me into a rage. The very thought of my parents makes me ill. They are horrid people who are honestly a waste of oxygen and space on this planet. They have done this to me. I know that this sounds horrible, but I have reached the end of my rope with these people. I hate those three SO much, that I lay awake at night just praying that they suffer. I want them to be miserable for the remainder of their lives for how they have destroyed mine. It may be wrong to hate family, especially to the level that I do, but I feel like I am wrong for all the right reasons. What REALLY gets me is how others think that the three of them are just awesome and can do no wrong. Even my ex-sister-in-law who took the kids and left my brother due to his abuse loves him SO much and refuses to see what a despicable human he is, even though she KNOWS it!! And others KNOW good and well the pain that my parents and brother have caused me, yet think that I am in the wrong??!! It's like, ??

Did you realize that having homicidal ideas is a reason to check into a psychiatric hospital for evaluation? It's not about right or wrong, it's about trying to feel better.

I have even gone and terrorized them late at night at their respective houses. Even at the risk of being arrested and prosecuted. I nearly ran my brother off the road recently, because seeing him in traffic sent me into a rage.

I too hated my mother and brother. My dad was a nice man. However I never wished them the ill will you wish on yours and nor did I terrorize them in any way. They are dead now, so problem solved. Yes that sounds mean but some people will understand.

You need to eliminate contact with these people who upset you so much, it's not good for your health. How about you move away from their area so you dont have to see them, dont have to have any contact with them? I moved 3 hrs away from my mother and that was far enough to end the misery for me. You dont have to live your life hating them and I hope you find a way to extricate them and then put your mind at rest.

Even if they died, you would still be living with your hate and rage.

I'm sorry for your situation, for the ways you were wronged, and for the things they took from you. They are clearly terrible people, but if you want to break the chain then work through your issues. Get into therapy and find a way to forgive. The release it will bring is something that can't be described until you feel it. Then you'll really be free from the abuse -- actually free, because it won't continue to live inside you.

It's fine to hate people. I think the problem here is the terrorizing them.

I too hated my mother and brother. My dad was a nice man. However I never wished them the ill will you wish on yours and nor did I terrorize them in any way. They are dead now, so problem solved. Yes that sounds mean but some people will understand.

 

You need to eliminate contact with these people who upset you so much, it's not good for your health. How about you move away from their area so you dont have to see them, dont have to have any contact with them? I moved 3 hrs away from my mother and that was far enough to end the misery for me. You dont have to live your life hating them and I hope you find a way to extricate them and then put your mind at rest.

Why is it okay for them to wish me such ill will, but when I turn it back on them, I'm in the wrong? My horrible brother nearly killed my ex-sister-in-law, yet she just thinks he is awesome now, knowing good and well that he hasn't changed in the least. Well, actually, I think I know the answer to that. She wants him around for the child support payments. That's about it. She has only been away from him for six months, so she couldn't have changed her opinion of him THAT quickly. She just tells his sorry butt what he wants to hear. My father thought he was having a heart attack last month. He is in his 70's. He asked me for help, and I walked away from him all the while saying "I can't hear you!". Then he has the gall to ask "what did I ever do to deserve that?". I can never care about them. It's just all hatred now. They are meaningless to me. I plan on moving soon. I just have to stick it out a little longer. My ex-sister-in-law and I keep in contact because I help her with the kids. She says that she doesn't understand my rage towards my brother, but she's lying. She most certainly does. She lived with the monster for many years. It's only about the money for her.

It's fine to hate people. I think the problem here is the terrorizing them.

I shouldn't have terrorized them. I thought that revenge would make me feel better.

It's hard to read a post with so much anger and hate. Please contact a therapist very soon to work through these emotions.

It's hard to read a post with so much anger and hate. Please contact a therapist very soon to work through these emotions.

Well.....I see your point. But, what about the people who did this to me? Horrible, scum of the earth individuals who laugh at my grief? Do they just get a pass?

It's hard to read a post with so much anger and hate. Please contact a therapist very soon to work through these emotions.

LOL, you clearly haven't met my family.

Well.....I see your point. But, what about the people who did this to me? Horrible, scum of the earth individuals who laugh at my grief? Do they just get a pass?

If they are the scum of the earth...let them continue to be those types of people----without you.

We all have come across people who are a waste of oxygen, but the higher road is to enjoy your own oxygen far away from them.

It is up to YOU what kind of person YOU want to be. That is what you have control of. You can never change them. Many people can and do successfully succeed as individuals without a strong family unit. It's not as easy, but attainable as long as you put in the work. There are plenty of books on the subject and with the internet at your fingertips, and therapy. Help is out there to break out of this mindset. Get the help!

This is about who YOU want to be..... think about it.

I hear that you are feeling very angry and vengeful. It's ok to have these feelings of anger. It must be very frustrating, and I'm sure you know acting on them will not help.

If you have nothing left to lose, then walk and away and make a new start.

You sound traumatised. The best way to heal from trauma is to get away from the things that trigger you until you are strong enough to manage them again.

Get some space, get some rest. Be kind to yourself. 2 weeks away from reminders of these people and you would notice a world of difference.

It'S not really that you want them to suffer. It's more that you feel hopeless, and you are suffering, and you feel they have played a part in that. And you want power and hope back. Start to take power and hope back by walking away and giving yourself the space you deserve to begin to heal. Take WHATEVER space you need. It's ok to walk away from those who aren't beneficial to your healing and needs.

Why is it okay for them to wish me such ill will, but when I turn it back on them, I'm in the wrong? My horrible brother nearly killed my ex-sister-in-law, yet she just thinks he is awesome now, knowing good and well that he hasn't changed in the least. Well, actually, I think I know the answer to that. She wants him around for the child support payments. That's about it. She has only been away from him for six months, so she couldn't have changed her opinion of him THAT quickly. She just tells his sorry butt what he wants to hear. My father thought he was having a heart attack last month. He is in his 70's. He asked me for help, and I walked away from him all the while saying "I can't hear you!". Then he has the gall to ask "what did I ever do to deserve that?". I can never care about them. It's just all hatred now. They are meaningless to me. I plan on moving soon. I just have to stick it out a little longer. My ex-sister-in-law and I keep in contact because I help her with the kids. She says that she doesn't understand my rage towards my brother, but she's lying. She most certainly does. She lived with the monster for many years. It's only about the money for her.

It's not ok for them to wish you ill will, but if that's what they do, then that's their problem. You need to quit making it your problem. These people appear to be very flawed and you dont need to copy them. You clearly have no use for them, and I understand that. They are going to say whatever they are going to say, you cant control their mouths. You can control yourself, however. They obviously really upset you a lot, so really the best option in order for you to have a decent life is to get away from them, permanently. If you can tolerate your SIL then that's good, see the kids, help her with them. Those are good things to do. But stop letting your parents and brother have such a negative effect on you, it's terribly unhealthy. You have to bring on the changes you want for you.

Well.....I see your point. But, what about the people who did this to me? Horrible, scum of the earth individuals who laugh at my grief? Do they just get a pass?

It is my belief karma will get them sooner or later. I also think there's a special place in hell for people like that.

It is up to YOU what kind of person YOU want to be. That is what you have control of. You can never change them. Many people can and do successfully succeed as individuals without a strong family unit. It's not as easy, but attainable as long as you put in the work. There are plenty of books on the subject and with the internet at your fingertips, and therapy. Help is out there to break out of this mindset. Get the help!

I can relate to this so very well. I got away from my abusive mother and my life got a lot better. I carved out the type of life I wanted on my own terms and I got over the stuff she did to me and I am quite a happy and content person now. We dont need to let others bring us down to their level indefinitely.

It is my belief karma will get them sooner or later. I also think there's a special place in hell for people like that.

Yes indeed! People like this get VIP access in hell with the hottest of fire and devil pitch forks in all orifices. Let them go to hell, but work on yourself to be an awesome person on your own.

Thanks so much for all of the replies. I'm seeing it a lot clearer now. It amazes me that my former sister-in-law nearly lost her life at the hands of the monster that is my POS brother, yet now she praises him. That HAS to be because he sends her child support. I can't imagine why else she would be on his side about everything. She also thinks that my parents are "wonderful people", despite the fact that she has overheard them calling her stupid and saying that she doesn't deserve to be a mother. Her reply was "well, I was being pretty stupid then". Life was a living hell for her for YEARS because of them. And now they are "awesome". It makes no sense. Whenever she has foolishly questioned me about my anger and bitterness towards them, I just tell her that there is a BIG difference between family and people you are related to. Those are just people that I am, sadly, related to.

Don't forget she shares children with this family . And you can't portrayed to your child that their other family is a POS. Or their other parent either because that destroys the child whether the person is that or not .

You may find this article interesting: When Your Dad Is A Killer, How Do You Cope?

Host Michel Martin speaks to the Unabomber's brother, David Kaczynski, and Melissa Moore, the daughter of a serial killer, to find out how relatives of notorious criminals cope.

I'd seek therapy for a place to dump this stuff, it's not good for your body to carry that around. I'd make it my private goal to surprise myself with my resilience and ability to bounce back to focus on creating the best possible life for myself without the weight and burden of fueling my own hate.

The only revenge I'd need is to know that they will always have to BE them.

Head high.

I am the OP of this terrible thread. I return to it to say that I regret what I said. My father has since passed away. I'm pretty certain that he took his own life. He wasn't right in the head. I can not begin to express the grief and guilt that I feel from having gotten SO mad at him that I wished what I did. The adage "be careful what you wish for" is SO true. It's one thing to want someone gone. It's another thing entirely when it actually happens and you realize that you got what you asked for, and it wasn't what you thought it would be. If my father did die by way of ending his own life (it's looking more and more likely that that is what happened) then, the question becomes, why? Well, it could be that the guilt finally got to him. But, he didn't have to go out like that! If he felt SO guilty, why didn't he just come to me and reconcile? Oh, my Lord, this is just unbelievable. But, I suppose that there is a cautionary tale here. Learn from my terrible mistake. Don't ever wish ill will on someone. Too bad I wasn't smart enough to learn that before it was too late. I'll be honest, I am not sure how I can live with this.

My heart goes out to you WS, and I'm so sorry for your loss. The one thing that I've found helpful about any unfinished business with a loved one who has passed is the belief that just as what I didn't know then that I know now, the same is true for them. I talk to them now, and I tell them all the things I wish I'd said, and I trust that they've reached higher ground and can understand the fragility and fallibilities of being human far better than I can at this moment.

I've also made a vow to them that I will live my life in ways that will make them proud today and in the future. This doesn't mean that I'll cater to the limited beliefs that they held while they were here, but rather, I'll trust that they know better today, and I'll live up to my own highest intelligence by tapping into it every day through meditation, thoughtfulness, and treatment of other people in ways that I wish to be treated--regardless of anyone else's capabilities to understand, appreciate or reciprocate.

Head high, and write more if it helps.

While I don't actively wish for the deaths of my parents and brother, I can promise if they were to die, I would not attend their funerals nor feel any sadness. The three of them have caused unreal amounts of grief for me and have ruined my life. I don't care about them in the least, I am constantly thinking of ways to get them. I have even gone and terrorized them late at night at their respective houses. Even at the risk of being arrested and prosecuted. I just don't care anymore because I have nothing left to lose. I nearly ran my brother off the road recently, because seeing him in traffic sent me into a rage. The very thought of my parents makes me ill. They are horrid people who are honestly a waste of oxygen and space on this planet. They have done this to me. I know that this sounds horrible, but I have reached the end of my rope with these people. I hate those three SO much, that I lay awake at night just praying that they suffer. I want them to be miserable for the remainder of their lives for how they have destroyed mine. It may be wrong to hate family, especially to the level that I do, but I feel like I am wrong for all the right reasons. What REALLY gets me is how others think that the three of them are just awesome and can do no wrong. Even my ex-sister-in-law who took the kids and left my brother due to his abuse loves him SO much and refuses to see what a despicable human he is, even though she KNOWS it!! And others KNOW good and well the pain that my parents and brother have caused me, yet think that I am in the wrong??!! It's like, ??

... and I suppose you own about 50 or so guns just waiting for you to snap so that President Trump can say that it wasn't the guns but a mental health issue?

Please talk to your doctor about getting a referral to see a psychiatrist. You don't have to suffer the way you are if you're on the right meds.

I am the OP of this terrible thread. I return to it to say that I regret what I said. My father has since passed away. I'm pretty certain that he took his own life. He wasn't right in the head. I can not begin to express the grief and guilt that I feel from having gotten SO mad at him that I wished what I did. The adage "be careful what you wish for" is SO true. It's one thing to want someone gone. It's another thing entirely when it actually happens and you realize that you got what you asked for, and it wasn't what you thought it would be. If my father did die by way of ending his own life (it's looking more and more likely that that is what happened) then, the question becomes, why? Well, it could be that the guilt finally got to him. But, he didn't have to go out like that! If he felt SO guilty, why didn't he just come to me and reconcile? Oh, my Lord, this is just unbelievable. But, I suppose that there is a cautionary tale here. Learn from my terrible mistake. Don't ever wish ill will on someone. Too bad I wasn't smart enough to learn that before it was too late. I'll be honest, I am not sure how I can live with this.

More now then ever you would do yourself well to get to your doctor for that referral. You have added guilt to your hate and a therapist will help you to come to terms with whatever grief (guilt?) you are experiencing.

... and I suppose you own about 50 or so guns just waiting for you to snap so that President Trump can say that it wasn't the guns but a mental health issue?

 

 

Please talk to your doctor about getting a referral to see a psychiatrist. You don't have to suffer the way you are if you're on the right meds.

 

 

More now then ever you would do yourself well to get to your doctor for that referral. You have added guilt to your hate and a therapist will help you to come to terms with whatever grief (guilt?) you are experiencing.

I regret every single thing that I said. My father took his own life because of me. It is most likely that even if him and I had somehow reconciled, he still would have committed suicide. Granted, we had our issues, but this really is terrible. Things get put into perspective fast when something like this happens. I don't see myself living too much longer. That's not to say that I am considering suicide myself. But, I have pretty much given up. The very person who brought me into this world is gone because of me. I don't deserve anymore life.