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Thread: Wife has cheated Twice yet still claims she loves me ??.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member tina-rocks's Avatar
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    Peter,

    I know it hurts and totally understand your frustration that she should get anything when she is 100% in the wrong and I really feel for you truly I do.

    Life can be so unfair with the cards we are dealt but it's how we chose to deal with those cards that counts.

    You have tried no one can deny that and I know it's hard on you. Try to stay strong but most of all be good to yourself. If you are truly unhappy as I suspect you are then bite the bullet and make the necessary change.

    You can do this you are stronger than you think.

    Tina x


    Originally Posted by PeterB
    I dont value the house over my well being .
    When im feeling particulary hurt you ask yourself WHY does MY WIFE get to stay in a lovely home and im the one MOVING to a damn hovel .
    ESP when i invested more in it ,it should be my Wife who pays the price !!.

    But i already know the answer = The most important thing is MY Daughters welfare .And my Daughter will wantto be with her Mum naturally .
    Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12

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    Peter, I can relate to the emotional roller coaster. I found out his past October of my wife emotional and sexual infidelity with a co-worker on 4 occasions in a period of 2 months, after 22 years of marriage and 4 kids. As usual she blamed me for it. I LOVE my wife. I'm still in shock and even she has stopped that relation and it is trying hard so we can move on with our life, there is still a hollow sense as you described. After 5 months I feel I'm getting the hold of myself and I feel very conflicted about my decision of staying to try to mend things between us, I should have left as I wanted at the beginning but instead I compromised to try. Today I can tell you that I have no anger and I started looking at it as an opportunity in life to a new beginning. We have acquired goods as well, but I really don't care much about them as I care about the emotional stability I desire. If I leave my wife and God has a new affection for me then I can be certain to be prepared to get into a relationship seeking strong fundamentals for a true long lasting love.
    My advice to you is that start venting your emotion to the point that you'll get a clearer state of mind and visualize yourself HAPPY for you and your daughter.

  3. #13
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    I really didnt read more than the first 3 lines of your post and thats all I needed to tell you whats going on.

    Your wife is attractive and has cheated on you twice. You offer stability. Therefore, when she gets caught cheating on you she begs and pleads, says shes sorry etc. because she has to try and convince her safety blanket (you) to keep her around.

    If your wife loved you SHE WOULDNT HAVE CHEATED ONCE, LET ALONE TWICE. Dump the beyotch and move on bro. Thats not love. It isnt now, and probably wasnt ever...

  4. #14

    What happened?

    I am curious to know what you did. I believe that her continuous disregard for you, clearly demonstrates how she feels for you. There is no disrespect when I say this, but it is true. If this woman, who is your wife, knows what you believe and feels and disregards it, then she has knowingly placed your marriage in jeopardy. To continue on with her only offers her the opportunity to continue cheating. I do not know about you, but someone that breaks my moral constitution over and over again is someone I cannot have in my life.

    Let me know what happened.

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  6. #15

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    ah man,... I really feel terrible reading your post.... its an amazing thing how us men (the supposed sex deviants) can treat a woman right and still they blame us for unspeakable things they perpetrate out of spite.

    There is really only one thing to do... you have to leave her man.... shes * * * * ed up not once but twice.... its only going to get worse if you stay as now she knows she can get away with it.

    She really is heartless... and to share a daughter?.... man i know its not easy but you have to do what is right for you... much luck I wish to you

  7. #16

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    You know what? People can love and cheat. It's just in their character, they just can't commit and stay faithful or honest. But do you want a love like that? What she offers you is NOT YOUR IDEA OF love. You deserve a person who loves and commits, don't be a doormat ok? You got to divorce. She's not sorry, she's just sorry you found out. But since you took her back the first time, she's expecting you to let it slide again... But you won't right? Cos this treatment ain't going to stop. Bc you allow it, and she knows she has this power over you. You deserve a girl who has only eyes for you. Who cares if your wife has a hot figure and turns you on (I find it sad you listed this first in your reasons to stay... kinda frivilous much?) don't you want a devoted loving wife? Who doesn't cheat and lie and cause you heartache over and over again? You can start again and find somebody good for you, just don't be scared.

  8. #17
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    That thing she said to you about the positions, so sad I feel bad for you. I dealt with a monster cheater as well but we weren't married. So I can only imagine how miserable it is for you, especially with a daughter around.

    You need to divorce her. You only live once. Don't sacrifice true love just to be with someone with a nice body.

  9. 04-10-2011, 09:47 PM
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    troll

  10. #18
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    I just can't believe there are people like this in the world. I mean I didn't believe it until I experienced being with someone this evil as well. Honestly when you see the amount of suffering on these boards, I don't know what to say other than that some people are truly evil. It's one thing to cheat, but it's another thing to cheat in this manner that completely devastates your significant other...I don't know how you can do that unless you're honestly evil, whatever evil means.

    Just leave her.

  11. #19
    Member SadAndy's Avatar
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    Peter,

    Readfing your thread has almost brought me to tears, why? As a 33year old man with an 8 year old daughter, I am in EXACTLY the same position (except the stunning body bit!)

    I was ejected from the family home in Feb 2010 and then asked if we could try again 'as he's lovely but no you and life isn't the same without you in it' etc.

    Like a mug, I went back, and am still there, but there isn't a minute of the day when it isn't on my mind consuming me and taking up all of my energy.
    I love my daughter more than life itself and cannot bear the thought of living away from her again but I know deep down what I will have to do in the future, and that is to leave.
    The truth is, as said before, for her to love me she wouldn't have done it once let alone twice, technically 3 times!

    The part of your post that hits a chord with me though, is the bit about laughing at the tv etc almost blissfully unaware of what she's done, its hard to explain but I feel it too.


    Check out my earlier posts for the full story and feel free to message me if it'll help.

    The one thing that keeps me strong, well as strong as I can be, is knowing that I have done absolutely nothing wrong.

    Answer me this, when you look at your wife is there a certain amount of you that feels genuine hatred and repusion for what she has done? If not, trust me it'll come later. Then is the time you know for sure what you have to do.

  12. #20

    You are not alone, be strong

    My story is very long so I am gonna break it in 4 different stages of my life:
    1. We met in 2007, fell in love and I always wanted to spend the rest of my life together, we had our daughter on 2012, and we were so happy, and the same time I returned to school to get my degree on Business because I wanted to offer a better future for my family.

    2. Going back to 2010 y wife was diagnosed with kidney failure due to a strange type of illness, and in 2014 when my daughter was 2. ,I wife's kidneys did not work anymore, so as a husband I did what anybody who loves someone would do, I went through all the testing to donate my kidney so she could have a normal life.

    3. Around 2015 my wife was always complaining about how I'm going to school and I don't dedicate to much time to her, so I decided to take online classes and just study either at night when they were asleep or I would wake up early like at 4 am or 5 am and study before going to work. On summer of 2015, my wife would complain about every little thing, like looking for any excuse to fight. Then she would say she was going to go out with her friends, and she doesn't have a lot of friends, but I always trusted her blindly. On those night outs she would return at 4 am in the morning or not all at, for 3 weekends I was going crazy cuz I didn't know if she was okay or not, but I never thought she was cheating on me, how na´ve I was.
    One day I confronted her with all the evidence I had, all the lies that she would use to cover her whereabouts, and finally she couldn't hide it anymore, she was seeing a guy that she deliberately meet on an dating site, she cried and beg for me not to leave, and I did not want anything with her, I was in shock how is it that not even me donating a kidney or sacrificing myself to go to school for them would buy me a little respect. I ended up staying for my daughter so she could have a normal life with a normal family. I made her promise all the things you said, she swore she will never do it again, she would work on the marriage and that she didn't wanna lose me or our family, and I believed it. She would call me every hour to tell me she was at work and what time she was leaving home and I always knew where she was, I began to trust her a little. We were actually moving forward and she showed great signs of being a lovely wife again, but the many advices that family and friends gave me about how when someone cheats it would just keep on cheating were about to become reality

    4. Same as you were now I'm very aware of my surroundings and of pretty much every move, or every mood, now I see every signal and I analyze it, so I knew that when she told me she was asks to cover for a friend at work on her only day off, and that after that she had another hair cut from a client at the clients house and that after that she wanted to go to the gym and then to get a massage cuz she was stress out, she was doing something else. so I tracked every move on that day, just to find out that she went on a date with a customer of her, she blamed it on the customer, because she said he was too pushy and she thought they could go out only as "friends" , however he never knew she was married or with a kid. however it wasn't on that day that I confronted her about her whereabouts that I found out of the cheating, it was 4 days later when my daughter was using my cellphone to watch kids videos, I was about to go to work so I told her to give me my cellphone and get her mom's , when she brought it for me to unlock it, I couldn't do it, I was furious I demanded my wife for the password, I yelled at her like never before, she gave the password, and I saw the one text message that confirmed it all, it said: you are so beautiful, your eyes are so cute , I miss you and I cant wait to see you", there was only one message, like if they would have been text messaging all night before and she delete all of them and went to sleep and the dude sent one more text and that's how I caught her

    So brother you are not alone, and my advice to you is be strong and have dignity because even though it hurts so much, especially for my daughter that now she would have to be split in two, I know women like that don't change, they will do it again and again and again.

    Thanks for sharing your story, I know it sucks for all of us, but I find a little comfort in telling my story and hearing yours as well. We are not alone and we deserve better!

    Juan Carlos Vera

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