brazilgirl21 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 You DEFINETLY did the right thing. Don't beat yourself up about it. Do you plan on going to the funeral? Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 You DEFINETLY did the right thing. Don't beat yourself up about it. Do you plan on going to the funeral? I completely agree with brazilgirl, and I wouldn't worry about thinking of it as day 1 all over again, exceptions have to be made in such circumstances. Link to comment
jaylh25 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 You DEFINETLY did the right thing. Don't beat yourself up about it. Do you plan on going to the funeral? Thanks for that.. nope I wont be going, my ex is with someone now so it just wouldnt be appropriate.. i've passed on my best wishes to her and her mam as i still care for the girl and the family. may be a lot of crap going on between us but just felt it was the decent thing to do. Link to comment
intolerable Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Oh wait, I haven't been NC for 3 months. My ex dropped me a text last Friday wherein he told me that some of my CD's are still with him and he asked when he should bring it. It's his first text ever since the break up (almost 4 months ago) and I actually found it odd. I replied 2 days later. So, today is my day 3 I guess. I still miss him, think of him everyday, and wish I could just turn back time. But heck, I'm also enjoying my life and meeting amazing people. XD Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I understand, man. The reality of the situation is that you let her go. You made a decision that you regret, but often we do not realize what we had until it is gone. This is what I am struggling with most of all. I didn't know what I had until it had gone and I miss it more and more each day. To anyone reading this who is contemplating breaking up with their partner, my advice is think VERY carefully about what you are about to give up. However, despite having said this, the past few months have taught me that the break-up was inevitable as I am just not ready to commit to someone for the rest of my life. I need time on my own and this is the only way it can happen. Counselling sessions, journalling, self-help books and reading many, many websites have all helped me face what I need to do and to accept responsibility for the break-up. It still doesn't stop me loving her though, or from feeling the intense pain that goes with knowing she has moved on. Just because I let her go, doesn't mean I don't love her. It just means that I can't love her in the way she wants or deserves to be, right now so that is why I thought the best thing to do was end it. And you know what? I was RIGHT. And I'm proud of myself for having the guts to do it, to let the best thing that ever happened to me go free to find someone else, which she has. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm not ready to wish her happiness just yet though, I'm not quite there. In a way, the sad inevitability of the situation is what hurts the most: knowing it could never have been avoided and that ultimately we were doomed to break up from the start. I don't wish for one second that we had never happened though, and I do still hope that we can find each other again one day. In my heart of hearts, I know that day will never come. So I suppose it's time to take this lesson, learn from it and finally live just for ME for the first time in 7 years! Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Broken - WOW. That is EXACTLY how I feel. ALL of it. Every tiny bit of it. Our story is 100% the same. When will we be able to let go of it? How are you SO sure the day will never come? that you will meet her again? Also, if you don't mind, I posted what your wrote on my thread (i quoted you of course) just for the people who read my story to understand what im going through. THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. Do you think we will be able to find someone we feel so strongly for again? Link to comment
lauramed Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Day 5 and I'm tired of putting myself back at square one. He calls and even knowing that I shouldn't answer that call I do it anyways. It's like an addiction that I have no control over. I should have told him long ago that he can't do this to me and I need to be able to move on if he doesn't want "us" anymore and too weak to do it. At the same time here I am at work hoping every time that the phone rings that it's going to be him. Miss talking to him every day and at night when he got off from work. There are so many things that I want to share with him...the good and the bad, yet I can't do that anymore. Just feel so down this week!!!! Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I dreamed about him, and I miss him so much Link to comment
Lieutenant Dan Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Day 3, I've had a horrible gut feeling about him from, literally, the second I work up this morning. Last time I felt like this he got in a car accident. I've been nervous all day, but I haven't caved. I won't. I thought about sending him a "be careful" text and leaving it at that, but I didn't. I'm sure he'll be fine. Besides my warning texts were something he got when we were together, I hope that whatever goes wrong hurts his heart. HAH! Link to comment
Fitchik Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I've not been here for awhile and this could quite possibly be my last post here. I too was suffering, hurting, broken and destroyed by someone that LOVED me so much, but just couldn't be in a relationship with me. After many ups and downs...I went strict NO CONTACT. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. EVER. But.... I'm not that broken, destroyed little girl any more. After the healing started...I became the woman that I am still working to be. I'm happy..I'm free...I'm in control My advice... GO NO CONTACT! For you. Do it now. ps... the ex and I ran into each other, randomly.... chatted for a bit...he told me that he couldn't remember the last time I looked this good and happy. I smiled, winked...said thank you...and rejoined my friends. The future may hold a different path for he and I. But the path I'm on right now is a really good one...it's MY path this time! Good luck to everyone! Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I wish I didnt take things for granted, thinking that she would always be there, that our love was special and couldnt be broken, All my stupid insecurities about being jelous her sleepin with other guys I finally made true I guess, damn I am an idiot, we were so good together, It really is all my fault but couldnt realize what I was doing until it was over Link to comment
dmhoff Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I just started this site earlier today. Boy am I happy I found this place!! I haven't yet finished day one, and am still in 'yaya land'. I hurt beyond belief that this close relationship ended after nearly 5 years. I was always the one to go crawling back, but I just can't this time. He always told me that he doesn't need anyone, and if I needed him out of my life to make my life easier, he'd miss me off and on for a while, but he doesn't grieve. So he always held the rope, and I dangled from the end, never wanting to let go! I'm totally addicted to him, for some reason, and I'm crushed to let him go! He called three times today, but I turned off the call forwarding, so I didn't know he called. He always called the half hour before he went home from work, but he didn't today. Obviously he figured since I didn't answer the other three times, that I've gotten rid of him, so he's done calling. I have no doubt in my mind that he hasn't given me one thought tonight. He's never chased after me...well, maybe he came back a time or two, but it's mostly me going to him. So since I haven't answered, he's done with me. I'm sure he's totally fine. And I know, it's not about him, it's about ME! I shouldn't be thinking what HE'S doing, but what I'm doing for ME! But it's so hard!!! In a few hours I will go to bed. I will wake up tomorrow with the gut wretching realization that it's all real, thus, beginning day two! Please pray for me! Dana Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Broken - WOW. That is EXACTLY how I feel. ALL of it. Every tiny bit of it. Our story is 100% the same. When will we be able to let go of it? How are you SO sure the day will never come? that you will meet her again? Also, if you don't mind, I posted what your wrote on my thread (i quoted you of course) just for the people who read my story to understand what im going through. THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. Do you think we will be able to find someone we feel so strongly for again? Hey Brazilgirl, no of course I don't mind you quoting me on your thread! I hope you found what I wrote useful, it's good to know you're not alone in your thoughts isn't it? I suppose I'm sure that 'that day' will never come because of the simple fact that she has moved on and is happy and just not interested in me anymore. She loves this new guy and I have to accept it and try to move on myself. Otherwise what choice do I have? To wallow and lay down and willingly relinquish control of my life to her? Not on my watch. I do still take comfort in the old phrase of 'what will be, will be' though, I guess it still allows me to cling onto some hope that there is someone or something watching over me. I find solace in the fact that if she never comes back, then it means there must be something better out there planned for me. I still believe in the concept of 'The One' as foolish as it is, and like to hope 'she' is still out there for me, if she isn't my ex. I think that answers your last question too. I'm with you at the moment and can never imagine meeting or being with anyone again, or feeling about anyone the way I did for my ex. I just can't see the opportunity presenting itself. I hope with all my heart that I meet a girl someday, wherever it is, that I can love with all my heart and I can spend the rest of my life with. I have faith, just not a hell of a lot right now. You can always message me if you need help, seeing as we're in the same boat x Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I feel like I wanna move to another state and shed this old skin Link to comment
longdist Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I'm feeling great after having almost essentially 2 months of NC, w/ 1 email at the half way poitn. My ex really doesn't cross my mind anymore. I also started coming to some realizations about her faults. I honestly feel and have felt fantastic and am becoming my old self. I believe I have completely come to terms with everything and even have some joy that the breakup happened b/c my ex and I couldn't continue on the path we were on. So, although some don't consider healing to be a success story when wanting to get back with their ex, they'll find out when they do heal that it is the true success. I actually think healing may be mandatory before you could even consider getting back together with an ex... at least that is my opinion now. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I'm just having a tough time tonight. I've been crying a lot and I can't seem to sleep... I haven't felt this bad in a while. I guess I just feel nostalgic more than anything I REALLY miss my ex "in laws" and I felt like I didn't appreciate them or thanked them for everything they've done for me. My ex's dad and me had a very, very tight bond. His mom was a little less warm, but gosh, they welcomed me into their family with such open arms. They made me feel so at home in this city, so part of a family. I just wished I had told them how much I appreciated what they did for me more often. In Brazil people are VERY close to their families and it's not as common as in other countries to live alone for university. They were SO amazing to me. His grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, I had such a good relationship with everyone...both sides. Specially his mom, dad, stepmom and brother. I'm thankful I sent them christmas gifts this year and a card... I just wish I could have thanked them for everything they have done for me earlier. How did I take this for granted? They were the best people I've ever met in my life. Anyone misses their exes families like I do? Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Finishing off Day 2 of NC.. after being together for 3 yrs and believing he was the one I would spend my life with... ... but it's for the best and I can't keep neglecting my own needs for his. NC is gng to be the best and hardest thing I've done in my life i think... Link to comment
troubbble Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 life sucks. i wish i had some control. Link to comment
Decaf08 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 60 days of NC, I'm healing well, getting dates, and my body is on its path to getting sexier. 8 pack abs here I come! (yes from time to time I miss her, but that's the same as missing your favourite pair of socks, the ice cream that fell to the ground, or that left turn you were supposed to make but missed thanks to some faulty directions given by a gorgeous date) All the best to you ENAers out there! Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Day 6 Just feels like another day really. I had a dream about her last night however. She basically came round to mine, and just lay on my bed as if expecting me to take a hint, but any time I tried to lie with her she got angry and told me to get lost. Link to comment
Rob1000 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Day 7. It's getting better, man! Link to comment
Shawngs2 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Anyone ever done this and gotten back together because of it? Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Anyone ever done this and gotten back together because of it? While not remembering any actual names, yeah. But the important thing is you don't go into it with the intention of getting back together (I know its in Getting Back Together, its weird, but trust it), do it with the hope of improving yourself and healing. That way, if anything happens, you're a better person emotionally/mentally/physically/anything and it won't be doomed from the start. Getting back together, if it happens, is more like a bonus Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I'm not feeling well, my stomach is killing me. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Day 4 - Not a good week after breaking NC... Link to comment
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