SuperDave71 Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 I wouldn't wear a speedo ANYWHERE MUCH LESS THE BEACH!!!! If I got in the ocean, that would be CRUELTY TO ANIMALS!!!! DOH! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I guess I should give info on my NC situation. Been basically treated like crap for the last time by someone I truly liked....but I'm glad we have "THE CHALLENGE"....lol Anyway.... I guess this is day 1 for me...though it's really been a few days.. Not much more to add..... Just will be interesting to see how the next 29 days play out I'm ready!!! Link to comment
meantime Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I am in Dave, wish I read this post this morning. I got an email, have been no contact since dec 8 I felt guilty for not responding to his previous calls and once again told him I will only respond to an emergency. He wrote back with a rather cold message and it has opened old wounds. I wrote back telling him to only call if he is bleeding. Still, I feel like crap now and wish I remained NC this morning. I can't wait to see how I feel in thirty days! Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Oh..by the way...I picked something from the list to do tonight. I'm going to clean the refrigerator....accckk. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 Meantime, Welcome to the challenge!!! You are signed up! Good Luck!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
elithepi Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Oh....do I have to? I've already screwed up so much lately, I guess it can't hurt. It's going to be really tough. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 Bring it on elithpi!!! You can do it! Congrats ...ya just signed up!!! HA HA HA Good Luck!! Your Friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
belinda_simone Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I have been NC for about 7 weeks. My problem is he contacts ME..with details about his new girlfriend (who he hooked up with the day after we broke up apparently!), including pics (i can really see what an unfortunate man he is!). When i see a message from him in my inbox i need to be strong enough to delete it without reading it first cause it takes me back to square one.. I don't want him - i broke it off.. but for some reason it really hurts that he has moved on (rebounded) so quickly. Even though it ended cause I wanted it to, i am still not ready to be with anyone else.. the fact that he is with someone else makes me feel like our time together did not impact him at all. My new years resolutuion was to give up on trying to get some of my belongings back from him because he really wants me to keep trying to get them. He enjoys that connection. ...so i'll let him keep my stuff and never have any contact with him ever again. Count me in Super Dave! Link to comment
Reluctant Rebuilder Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I accept your challenge. I am sooooo doing this. It's been 125 days, another thirty will be no problem! Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 belinda and Reluctant, welcome aboard... and thank you for joining!!! Take care!! SuperDave71 Link to comment
tribecagirl Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 Hey There All! It's a brand new spankin' year and I'm officially two months into NC. I'm pumped! LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy New Year All! Tribecagirl Link to comment
sjv119 Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 errrr that's 42 days of NC plus another 30?!?! hmmm =72 days. sound like a good number i guess. it's not like he'll try to contact me anyway. here i go... Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 ok superdave, i would like to start my day one right now. today was pretty the same like any other day since my whole NC situation, wake up, chill, shoot around (basketball), go on eNotalone, and go out with my brother to the movies. As things were going great, my brother and i are at the movies. One of the moments that got to me was the girl at the consession stand had the same name as my ex. Charlyn. I was like oh Sh*t... i started to feel a lil piss, not sad, but extremely what the f***? it was a set back for like no more than 5 minutes. For some odd reason, i thought God was playing a joke on me or something, i don't know. but then, Good Old Superdave's NC remind me, "Hey, im doing better, why am i letting her in my head again." and there you go, a wonderful way to end an ok day. In summary: -Good Day, did the usual -a Brief Setback with the consession girl at the movies cause she had the same name as my ex. -Oddly i thought about Superdave's No Contact Challenge -Felt good again afterwords. Link to comment
KoopaTroopa Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I am TOTALLY down with this. I initiated NC a little over a week ago, when I realized after a few months of "just friends" that "just friends" is "me continuing to be miserable and eventually making a complete idiot out of myself." We live on opposite sides of the US, which makes NC easier in some ways and harder in others. When I first emailed her to say NC I was sobbing my eyes out. I literally felt like I was cutting my arm off, and I was thinking that if I could last even a week it would be a miracle. I cried continuously for the next few days, felt very sick, and couldn't eat. I was furious at myself for breaking down and telling my ex I still loved her (which is what made me realize I needed to do NC), and as soon as I initiated NC, I sat there panicking and thinking "oh no, what have I done!" and suddenly felt terribly ungrateful for not appreciating the scraps of time she DID have for me. Then I got mad at myself for having that mindset. I broke down and checked her AIM profile once the other day. I was kind of aggravated at myself for doing it, but I was also proud I'd managed to stay away from all-out contact or photos. I think it was sort of a compromise I made with myself - I knew I'd crack, so I tried to crack in the least damaging way possible. XP Yesterday I went out and bought myself a cute skirt and some makeup. I'd been completely neglecting my personal appearance because I felt like there was no reason to bother looking good if she didn't want me anymore. So I had to tell myself that was a load of crap, and that I wanted to look good for ME. It seems like a silly little thing, but I wore the skirt today and put on makeup for the first time since I started NC, and it made me feel a ton better. Link to comment
MrPresidentUSA Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 Ok first of all I want to mention that I am not starting my NC with this post but am on Day 22 already. I saw this 'challenge' of SuperDave's as a vehicle to aid other people as well as myself, just as SuperDave has done for me. I will not post my story here as it is very VERY long (it took up 54 pages of a single-spaced MS Word Document) but SuperDave had the privilege (HA) of reading it and analyzing my situation. Let me just say that like almost EVERY OTHER person that I have read on this site, I TOO am IN LOVE with a woman who rejected me due to cancer. At first I thought it was just the cancer but then i discovered that she was still having a good time despite telling me she wasn't and didn't want anything to do with anybody and wanted to be alone. I was a wreck, a TOTAL WRECK! I figured that when this girl told me first that she had cancer (leukemia) that I would show just how committed I was by sticking with her through it no matter what. She didn't like that idea at all. She would continuously tell me to date other girls because she didn't know whether or not she would make it and didn;t want me sitting around waiting. It all came to a big climactic fight on the 15th of December where she deleted me from her myspace and told me to lose her Yahoo SN and not to call her. We had gone through this a few times since mid-Sept. when she 1st found out she was sick. I tried everything I could think of and it turned me into a giant, crying, blubbering, spineless sack of human flesh that didn't remotely resemble the cool, confident, former Marine, Ivy League student that she fell in love with. On that day when this all came to a head 22 days ago, something clicked and I could see my repetitive behavior and the ridiculousness of all of it. I would routinely IM Dave and tell him how much I wanted to be with her and how jealous I was of this other guy on her myspace page because he was moved into her top spot. YES I KNOW IT'S LAME! But when you're hurting, everything seems to sting a little more. But on this day, it all clicked and I realized that EVERYTHING I had been doing simply WAS NOT WORKING! PERIOD! I then decided to do what so many other on this wondeful site have done. SIMPLE. NO CONTACT! I was EXTREMELY SKEPTICAL at 1st but after the first few days (always the hardest) it started to hurt less. The fact is, that never before in all of the time that we we had known each other had we gone more than 3 or 4 days without contact of some kind. I didn't want to do NC and I still don't but I have to admit, Dave was DEAD ON! On Day 13, she sends me a message telling me how wonderful I am and how I make her heart skip a beat and give her butterflies and she wishes I will go one and have a great life (mind you she deleted me and told me she is done with me a mere 13 days prior) and that I will do well and she knows it. I read it and did not respond. It felt like a check up email and you all have gotten them so you know what I am talking about. Then, yesterday morning on Day 21, I receive an offline Yahoo IM where she says "HI, I just wanted you to know I am really missing you. Im going in to have my tumors removed today and I hope you have a great upcoming semester." Nothing specific but again, thisis the girl who told me to get out of her life. I did not respond to this one either and I will not. The fact is that for 3 months of her knowing she had cancer I did it ALL! I sent flowers and a card when she had her first surgery, I sent her hand-written letters and everything I could to be the supportive guy that she said she wanted. Bu here is the crux and something that you all MUST LEARN and is something that Dave advocates in all of his major posts. TALK IS CHEAP! What she was SAYING and what she was DOING were two completely separate entities. Now she is sending messages again but tell me this. How hard is it to IM someone? Simple answer. It's not! This being the case combined with the NC made me realize something. While I am not perfect and have made a mountain of mistakes, I was giving way more than I was receiving. Contacting her and having her tell me she was no longer sure about me and wanted to go 'experiment' after she gets better made me realize that everything she had SAID was just that. WORDS. That is why I am here writing to you all now. The fact of the matter is this. I was a complete whiny girl of a man until I did NC. NC, as the saying goes, IS FOR YOU! It helped me to gain myself back and learn to live for me and not for her any longer. You are a person too! I have gone back to the gym, am looking more like a human again with less mutant tendencies and even went out this week and met a girl (cute one too). While I cannot fully articulate as well as Dave or MajorD or several other veteran posters I will say this. Stop making EXCUSES TO CONTACT! "But it's her birthday" or "it's the anniversary of the first DVD we bought together!" RUBBISH!!! Stop making excuses! Get yourself back, be a man/woman and get control of your emotions and life. As has also been said before, "are you, the dumpee the same collected, in-control person you were when you met your Ex?" I thought not. So get there but don't do it for them! Do it for you! I did, I'm on Day 22 and feeling better everyday! You will be amazed at how good you feel when members of the opposite sex take notice too and make those sexy eyes at you! Please heed these words and the words of others who let go! Letting go is the only way to find yourself and the only way to ever even have a CHANCE at reconcilliation. Thank you for reading my rant and I hope this helps someone who was a puddle of goo like I was only 3 weeks ago. Now I am a slightly more solidified puddle of goo but making extreme progress and hope to be a single-celled organism by next month. GREAT POST DAVE AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK FELLOW NCers!!! I'm out and will post back periodically to see how you all are doing. Stay strong and remember that the past is the past, the future no one can tell bu here and now is where we DO and MUST live for any kind of decent life. YOU CAN DO IT!!! We are all here to help! God Bless! 1 Link to comment
mcnani Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 i'm joining! i slipped up and broke NC after a whole 2 months.... that's so weak!!, so i'm starting over........here we go again! Link to comment
Firedancer03 Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I would like to formally accept this challenge! I initiated NC on December 1st, so its already been a little over a month for me. But I have done so much healing in that time, more than I did during the first 3 months of our breakup. Right now I'm feeling good. I'm feeling more confident with myself, more excited about my future and whatever it holds, and I don't think about my ex constantly anymore. My thoughts are now occupied with other things. I've been able to discover some things about myself and realizing some things I want to work on and I've begun working on them! It does help a lot that I am now home for winter break and I will be home until Jan 21st (we go to the same college). When I came home I promised myself that I would not go on AIM or log into Facebook! So far I only logged into Facebook once, lol, but its been easier than expected, AND its helped so much!! I no longer have to worry about whether or not his name will pop up on the "updated profiles" list and what he's updated, etc....a source of agony for me. Ignorance is bliss. I've had a few setbacks, of course I've had my bad days. Just today I found myself feeling a little sad, wondering about whether or not he's thinking about me and if he misses me. But the good news is, I havent had a thought like that for over a week! I'm just a little more emotional recently because its my TOM But I have made some definite progress and I'm looking forward to doing more! P.S. I may not be able to update every day because I'm going on vacation to Arizona on Sunday (hooray!!) and staying until the following Friday. I will have internet access for most of the time though, except for the travel days Good luck everyone! Here's to the best 30 days of our lives! Link to comment
daviepants Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I'm on day 24. I'm somewhat confused, and I feel very strange. I missed her a lot today, but I feel that I'm slowly detaching myself from the situation. I start class back up on Monday.. that should be a way to forget about her and learn to move on. Link to comment
needingadvice Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 hi everyone. well im checking in for my first update. it is only the morning but felt the need to put down my thoughts and may have to check in later also. at the moment this site is the only thing keeping me going(!) and it is a great help to read other people's stories and how after in some cases even just a few weeks of NC are making a real difference to people's lives. Well the last contact I had with my ex was the day before yesterday. I ended some email communication we'd had by saying 'goodbye' to him. He didn't respond and this is where I feel so proud of myself, as nomally the fact that he hadn't responded would make me angry and i would follow-up the email with another one...this time I didn't and then I started the NC Challenge. Last night wasn't easier. I had stopped dreaming about my ex but for some reason had a dream last night. It was one of those continuous ones that you seem to drift in and out of so it was pretty painful as his new girlfriend featured in it. I got up in the end to try and snap out of it, but went right back to it. Im trying to focus my mind on other things and keep remembering the Challenge, with the thought that if I can get to Day 30 I will feel much better than now, which will propel me forward further. One thing I think is also helping me at the minute is reading on here and beginning to realise that talk is CHEAP! I'd been consumed with the confusing messages from my ex telling me how much he missed me etc even though he is with someone else. The last one he sent said that he will always have feelings for me and think of me but maybe he should have been more straight with me, but he was just telling me how he felt and was not doing it to make me feel better at all. I got up today and thought what rubbish - more words that are not backed-up by your actions - and the only way forward for me now is NC as he'll happily do this forever. So at the minute I'm feeling quite strong. Hope everyone is doing ok Link to comment
Aerozeppelin Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 Yes yes brilliant! I'm in! It's going to be hard to not look at his facebook since I do that every day but I will NOT look at it, I will stay true to my word and make it 100% NC. 30 days as of 4:30 am Saturday January 6...here I come! Link to comment
belinda_simone Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 Well here is my 1st update.. I went out for dinner tonight with some friends who i have not been out with for ages.. they introduced me to some other people and it was just the best night i've had for a long time. Just a good night of chatting to good people who were not from the pretentious crowd (that my ex hangs with).. a different area and totally different type of people. I would not have bothered to go if i'd been with my ex cause i just would not have extended myself to bother. It's been about 7 weeks NC and i have not really felt like going out, but tonight i really pushed myself to make an effort and i am SO glad. I feel a bit more confident about ME.. about people likeing ME.. cause it was ME they were meeting, not "so and so's" girlfriend. I think from now on i am really going to make the effort to go out and connect with people. I'm not going to get drunk every time i go out - tonight i was very good, getting home at around midnight after only a few drinks. "Going out" doesn't have to mean wrecking yourself.. from now on i am going to go out and have a few drinks and come home.. that way i can do it more often! Feeling good today overall.. Never want to hear or see my ex again cause i don't want my heart to race with adrenaline and be back to square 1. I don't wish he was dead but i wish he did not exist. Link to comment
meantime Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 Today is my new start with NC. I woke up feeling sad and missing him but as I got up and moved around I remembered why we are not together and I realized that even if I contacted him to see him (which he is always willing to do, so it makes it harder) that in the end I would be left to deal with these feelings and then some...I am hiking with my dogs and my girlfriend today. The simple emails exchanged yesterday have set me way way back. Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 Day 2: Well really day 4, but for the sake of the Challenge..it's 2 Thought I'd just log in as well. I felt great yesterday...today not AS great but ok. I have to work all day, so at least I'll be occupied. I think he's out of town for the weekend anyway, so that helps too. I have been down this road before, and I know the first few days...and first few weeks are the toughest. Also worked out this morning, and that helps a LOT. I will work out every day for this 30 day period, and hopefully at the end I will be feeling AND looking better So that's it for me... Hope everyone is doing well...and being strong. We can do this... Link to comment
nym9876 Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 since this is my first post i might as well try to make something out of it...count me in Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 Gooooood Morning my Challengees!! I want to say thank you to EACH of you and I hope your day 1 is going well according to the challenge rules. If you are feeling down, READ READ READ!!! Read what others are going thru and you will find inspiration among your peers. We are here for you!! Keep posting and please refer back to the rules if you need to. BE STRONG MY FRIENDS!!! Your Friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
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