Whats the point in marriage???

[Meow18]

Yeah lucky him?? Let's see how nice you would be in divorce court if you found out he cheated on you.. You would take it all!!

 

Luckily I know my boyfriend well enough that I trust completely that he would never cheat on me. When you have a good relationship with respect you just know that some people would never do it, not even when tempted.

 

And quite honestly, if I cheated on him I would hope that he would have enough respect for himself and not stay with me.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I think if I was cheated on, I would want absolutely nothing of his tainted person. Cheating is a banishing/shunning offense, he'd hit the curb so hard he'd bounce.

[tictactoe2006]

You are absolutely correct, it takes 2 to tango, so to speak. I think, however, you miss the point, and of course are genrealizing by calling people 'deadbeats' just because their marriages did not work out. For the record, though, if a man tries to evade his responsibility, then I agree with you, that is definitely a deadbeat. Not all men are like that, though.

 

I totally share your opinion though, marriages are a waste of time.

 

Who said that parents do not deserve child support? I think you are reading a little too much into things here. Never in at least any of my posts, have I said CS shoudl be eliminated. What I said was, the money should be used for the child. Please explain to me how my ex wife taking a trip to Florida with her boyfriend and using up the money that was supposed to pay my childs pre-school benefits my child. If the money went to the child, than it would truly be child support. However, all it is, is a way to keep fathers from their children.

 

 

Perhaps if you stepped out from behind your diatribe and looked at the system objectively, you would have sense enough to see that it needs a lot of work before it can really benefit the children it is supposed to.

[tictactoe2006]

I think if I was cheated on, I would want absolutely nothing of his tainted person. Cheating is a banishing/shunning offense, he'd hit the curb so hard he'd bounce.

 

 

LOL good one! I love it!

[CarnelianButterfly]

Perhaps if you stepped out from behind your diatribe and looked at the system objectively, you would have sense enough to see that it needs a lot of work before it can really benefit the children it is supposed to.

Having children is a big deal, it can be the best environment to raise a child in a 2 parent household. Both parents working to care for that child and no single person taking all the responsiblility. I don't see many men that are willing to do that though unless they are bound by marriage. In divorce, how many men really fight to care for their children and not out of vidication, but because the honestly want to be the major care giver and responsible for those children. Did you fight for your children?

 

Marriage is a insurance that the other person will honor their part of the care of a child. To me that's all marriage is, a union to raise kids.

[tictactoe2006]

Having children is a big deal, it can be the best environment to raise a child in a 2 parent household. Both parents working to care for that child and no single person taking all the responsiblility. I don't see many men that are willing to do that though unless they are bound by marriage. In divorce, how many men really fight to care for their children and not out of vidication, but because the honestly want to be the major care giver and responsible for those children. Did you fight for your children?Marriage is a insurance that the other person will honor their part of the care of a child. To me that's all marriage is, a union to raise kids.

 

Then those are not "men" at all. How can you have a child and not want to care for him/her? Hardly even seems human to me.

 

Actually, yes I did fight for custody of my child. But where I live, unless the mother is a danger to the child, generally seh gets the child. Or, if she abandons the child. Since she took my child, along with about everything else in the home, she was almost guaranteed to have placement. Also, I have my child pretty much 50% of the time - 3 days one week, 4 days the other. but state law says I get no credit for that on the support, just like the punks who barely ever make effort to see their kids. She wanted it to be every other weekend that I saw my child, but I fought liek the * * * *ens to get as muc has I did.

 

Just sad how someone can decide they do nto want you anymore and the courts allow them to then ruin your life.

[Day_Walker]

Marriage is a insurance that the other person will honor their part of the care of a child. To me that's all marriage is, a union to raise kids.

 

When I always thought marriage had more to do with the two people involved and this notion was independent of the idea of having children. Often people get married and have children but that is not the reason people actually get married. If my purpose for getting married was solely to have children, then I dont see the point in marriage. That would mean that you are only in the marriage to raise your children then after your children have grown up there is no point in staying together. You are in the relationship solely for the benefit for third parties, it is hardly an incentive to stay since you are not in the relationship for your direct benefit.

I dont believe that raising children in an environment where two people are married just for that purpose is beneficial to the children. It takes out the benefits of a two parent household when the parents are in a loveless marriage.

[annie24]

the bottom line, to me, of this thread is that everyone has a different idea about the purpose of marriage. and to each his own. i just think it's most important that your partner has a similar view of marriage as you do, rather than trying to convince people on enotalone that your way is right.

[Dako]

I agree Annie.

 

Marriage is a blank canvas. You can create your own image of marriage and defy the preconceptions. You can play the roles per the script or improvise something that suits you both perfectly.

 

My marriage was freeformed from wedding to divorce.

[SilverManic]

I just got married 3 weeks ago not because I believe in tradition but because my hubby asked me. I didn't get the white dress mine was blue, it was very budget and done in a office with just his dad, brother and our niece, our nices mother and his best friend.

We were planning on a second ceremony for my family as they missed this one but I will probably only keep it to close family and friends before it gets out of hand. I don't want my dad's parents coming in and getting drunk and crying about how their baby who they haven't seen for the past 3 years has grown up. Well of course I have because they haven't seen me in forever

I believe that marriage is something you do if it feels right. If you know eachother are forever. My main problem was no matter weather we stay here or go back to England visa problems would be there. Well unfortunately I'm still going though college so I will have visa issues as I don't have a profession. I guess when he asked me he never thought the government would try and make me go home.

But anyway marrage is a promise to eachother and not something that you 'have to do'. If I wasn't 200% sure I would have been on that flight back home at the word GO. I know if he wasn't my true love I wouldn't have bothered making half my assets his because I have a lot more assets then him... him having none You don't make that sort of finatual screw up unless you really love the person and know that they love you! Hey I invested in his flight ticket to see my parents I'm also putting down the deposit on our first home when we have jobs. I couldn't be more happier.

Anyway my 5 cents.

~S.

[annie24]

congratulations silvermanic! I hope you guys have a long and happy life together!

[hateithere]

Well, military-wise people do it sometimes because they get to actually be together, and they make more money. Religion-wise, looks good at the church if you are living together... makes sex ligit... Parent-wise, they quit freaking out about getting pregnant and what other people thiink. I think getting married is a good thing, it shows a person you want to be in the relationship for the long haul and you dont want anyone else, you are done looking, you will be there for them forever.

[Baby Carrot]

If your love is real, why does it need to be recognized by law? When two people love each other, do they really need a child-molesting priest to tell them it's legit? No.

 

"real love shouldn't come with a contract". Well last I checked a marriage license is a form of a contract, isn't it?

People are spending thousands of dollars to express their love in public. While you're fighting over floral arrangements and whether to serve fish or chicken, children are starving. Try donating that 50 grand to feed the children…not the 250 guests your mom invited that you don't even know!

 

Women always say marriage is about security. So whats wrong with a man securing his financial future?

 

Why can't people just be together and be happy, without a contract.. Now that I don't get?? Why does a piece of paper validate our love for each other..

 

 

LOL.

 

No, seriously, you've just put into words everything I believe in towards all the marriage BS. I don't get it either. I don't see the point. I don't understand what true love has to do with ripping off the guy just because the law says so.

 

If I really love someone, the last thing I'd want on earth would be ruining him. In any way. Is not about the hypocrite "Ohhh but I would never do that to you". Is a fact I would never do it because I'm not gonna get my hands dirty with all the marriage tramit.

 

I don't need a paper to say is "official". We as a couple decide when is "official". Or not. Not the court, not the church, not the 250 parasytes I don't even know.

 

 

Ain't that the truth. If you're a woman, and a mom, and tired of being with your husband, jsut go out and start it up with another man. You can get 1/2 of all that your husband worked his whole life for, take his kids away from him, and get "child support" that you can spend on your boyfriend. who cares if the kid doesn't have what they need, thanks to the Democrats, all that matters is making the husband pay.

 

That's just not fair. That's just mean! I believe in total gender equality as well. Gosh, do they marry a man or a cow they can milk?

[tictactoe2006]

 

That's just not fair. That's just mean! I believe in total gender equality as well. Gosh, do they marry a man or a cow they can milk?

 

 

Where were you before I got married? LOL If only everyone were like you, baby carrot, the world would be a great place. I too totally believe in gender equality.

[Baby Carrot]

TICTACTOE:

 

Thanks man! Now where was I? How long ago did you get married?

 

I was probably underage and biatching about how blind are all that people getting married over and over, like lambs entering the slaughter house. Just for regreting later in most cases.

 

Now, I know you guys are pissed about how wrong everything ended, but I'm the living proof you can't generalize when it comes to women. I'm no Bridezilla. Like, at all. I don't respect women that do that, I think is pathetic to believe the peak of your life is reduced to a BS ceremony.

 

I couldn't agree more with you guys. Thanks for having the balls of speaking your minds even with all the critics. The world would be a better place with less romantic and more honest and realistic people.

 

Greets.

[tictactoe2006]

TICTACTOE:

 

Thanks man! Now where was I? How long ago did you get married?

 

I was probably underage and biatching about how blind are all that people getting married over and over, like lambs entering the slaughter house. Just for regreting later in most cases.

 

Now, I know you guys are pissed about how wrong everything ended, but I'm the living proof you can't generalize when it comes to women. I'm no Bridezilla. Like, at all. I don't respect women that do that, I think is pathetic to believe the peak of your life is reduced to a BS ceremony.

 

I couldn't agree more with you guys. Thanks for having the balls of speaking your minds even with all the critics. The world would be a better place with less romantic and more honest and realistic people.

 

Greets.

 

Hey there! You got it! Well, I got married almost 4 years ago, at the ripe young age of 30. Hey, if you were underage at the time, than kudos to you for at least seeingthe sheep mentality of it all! Very rare is it for people to have your insights.

 

And you're correct, it is unfair to generalize about women, or men for that matter. You, me, and all the other level-headed people in the world should sit down for a beer together!!

[Dako]

I paid 20 bucks to get married and saw it as a legal contract for merging finances. No rice was thrown, no special clothes or anything. Lots of folks get married without brainwashing, massive consumption or hoopla. It's a mistake to assume all married folks drink the Kool Aid.

 

It's still about a relationship, contract or not.

[Baby Carrot]

TICTAC:

I was 19 at the time then. I was legal when u were getting married

 

That's right, we all should have a drink sometime and share the conspiracy!

 

 

[tictactoe2006]

TICTAC:

I was 19 at the time then. I was legal when u were getting married

 

That's right, we all should have a drink sometime and share the conspiracy!

 

 

 

 

And you like drinks too! DOH!!! What was I thinking!

 

 

Hat's off to you, for sure.

[Optimistica777]

I'm sorry, but I must be naive about bachelor parties.

The groom to be has sex with a stranger? I've heard that it gets pretty wild, but I didn't think it went that far. Please clue me in. Thanks

[annie24]

I'm sorry, but I must be naive about bachelor parties.

The groom to be has sex with a stranger? I've heard that it gets pretty wild, but I didn't think it went that far. Please clue me in. Thanks

 

lol, I don't think it is a REQUIREMENT. Now, I've never been to one, but I know of some bachelor parties where all they did was play cards or have a few beers or go fishing. nothing too stupid. just depends on the group of guys.

[ghost69]

that is extreme. maybe having a stripper or going to a strip club. some losers do have sex with someone. those guys will end up divorced quickly, because they will cheat again.

[SummerGirl38]

As a one time divorced woman, I can agree with you to an extent, BUT...

 

What about the people (such as myself) who agree that it's only a slip of paper and they go on to live with someone, pretend to be married and have actually been screw'd worse than any divorce in history when the relationship ends.

 

I have had this happen twice to me. We weren't married, didn't need the paper, but we lived together. These two break-ups hurt me more financially than any divorce ever could have.

 

I just got out of a relationship where for financial reasons we put our money together to pay the bills. It wasn't until I came home one day and asked can I get some money out of the bank to go get my haircut and he said "No, "we can't afford it" that I went and got my own checking account.

 

I had just put a nice, hefty paycheck in his account two days before and now I can't have $10 stinkin dollars of my own gd money? I looked around and thought "Well, he just went out and bought a new Demolition Derby car to beat up this weekend", there's new parts, new plates, new tags. His daughter who was living with us just got a pair of new jeans.

 

Hmmm.....

 

So I got my own checking account and chalked it up to a lesson well learned.

After that, our relationship grew to where there was nothing but fighting and I decided to split.

 

That's when the hell began. I left and moved in with a friend. He became a person I had never known, (he was nuts) and did some very ugly things to me.

 

I had to get a restraining order against him so I could collect my belongings from "my own house". He actually would not let me come there and get my things without threatening me with bodily harm and we were both on the lease.

 

Once I was finally back in my own house collecting my stuff (It was basically all mine) what do you think he did? HE TRASHED IT AND WHAT HE DIDN'T TRASH, HE TOOK.

 

One lesson I have learned from that experience is "Don't pretend you are married, if you're not".

 

So while I agree with you that it's only a slip of paper, I still have to ask how you are supposed to treat a relationship where you forget the wedding?

 

I mean aren't you supposed to give your all to these kind of relationships as well. To death do you part, for better for worse, In sickness and health?

 

DO THESE THINGS NOT APPLY TO THE RELATIONSHIP WHERE A COUPLE DECIDES TO FORGET THAT RING AND PAPER?

 

Quite honestly I can agree with you but I have also been on the other side of the spectrum. I have to say, I would get married 5 more times before I would ever decide to live with someone and financially "pretend" to be married. At least that way my assets are covered and it goes to the court to decide, not some jealous Ex boyfriend.

[ghost69]

some guys don't even have bachelor's parties. why? because their nuts have already been removed by their fiancees.

[SummerGirl38]

some guys don't even have bachelor's parties. why? because their nuts have already been removed by their fiancees.

 

That's because they fit better in our purses than in their pants.

 

No, in all seriousness I always tell my bf, if another skirt catches your eye and you wanna go for it, I'll open the door for you to go!!!