So I am cheating... any advice?

[DonDonTheTrueDonDon]

Hi I am 19 and am cheating on my girlfriend of about a year. We are probley going to get married in the next 3 years or so. Due to our lives being busy I haven't been able to see her much. I used to get really jealous and have had little trust in her when I was away. Now that we were forced away due to our school lives that stress of not being able to trust her has made me not care anymore. Not caring or not worrying about her fidelity to me is just me giving up so I can live easier. So now, I doubt stress about her and her sister going to some party and possibly getting drunk.

 

Ok, so now I am fully carefree about my girlfriend. Reason being; this new girl I have met. You see, at first me and my friend were just going to have some fun and invite some of our female friends to get drunk and possibly get some action. All for fun. But now I have started caring for this girl, I told her that, and now she is with me. She understands that I am cheating.

 

All of my girlfriends flaws are addressed perfectly with this new girl. She is an amazing change of pace. I feel excitement again, and I feel a new emotion again.

 

Eventually I know my ways will catch up to me and my girlfriend will find out. So what is your advice on this situation?

[AngelEyez]

Before any advice, I'd like to say that you are an a-hole .

 

Anyways, tell your girlfriend what's up. There's no sense in marrying her in 3 years, if you've cheated on her and have "feelings" for another girl. Tell her what's going on and let HER break up with you. You should apologize for being such a -....nevermind. Goodluck?

[Tracy21]

please do your girlfriend a favor and let her know whats going on so she can move on as well...

[DonDonTheTrueDonDon]

Telling her whats up is not a good idea because she might kill me or herself. She has a real temper problem. Besides, it might turn out ok later on and I might still end up with her and then get married. We aren't married yet, so my idea is that it is ok. I gotta be able to be sure I got the right girl. So a bit of an affair is ok with me, just obviously not her.

[renaissancewoman101]

Your callousness towards your cheating is appalling. You seem to have no remorse about it and think that it is a "right" of yours. Consider the emotional and physical harm you are subjecting your SO to.

[pianoguy]

So... it's okay for you to cheat but not your girlfriend? And these reason is...you're a jerk?

 

You obviously don't love your supposed girlfriend. Do her and the rest of the world a favor and let her move on.

 

Rather than worrying about your girlfriend's supposed flaws you may want to work on your own.

[New_Horizons]

Just tell your girlfriend. If your g/f really has cheated ( as you assume), well that's one thing and maybe you can work it out. If she has been faithful then well you don't deserve her buddy. She deserves an honest guy.

[Dako]

My advice is simple.

Enjoy your life until you someday love someone more than yourself.

At this rate it'll be someone who'll burn you to a crisp.

[AngelEyez]

I think your girlfriend has a right to know you are cheating on her. You said your girlfriend has a real temper problem. Maybe you only realize that because you are always a worthless a-hole to her. Heck, if I were your girlfriend, I'd have a temper problem too. How do you expect her to react when you tell her you cheated on her? Do you expect her to smile, laugh, and say, "So, how good with this other girl in bed? I can't wait to get married sweetheart!!!" People like you deserve to be alone forever. No goodluck for you!

[doyathink]

I would say your not 100% into your old gf and are still wanting to explore others out there. Tell your old gf so she can have some cake too!

[Spugly Fuglet]

Life mean and hard, you larn from doing it wrong until you do it right, I could say your GF did it wrong she picked a guy to go out with whos dos not feel he needs to respect her. You could say that you new girl has it wrong for thinking that any futuer you have will not be flowed with the fact her new love is a man who dos not respect woman and most of all dos not respect himself.

 

You posted here for shock any one can see that, you happy even proued of your actions.

 

"Look at me Im king of the hill see the power over woman I have see how that just can not help them selfs around me"

 

is this who you would have us see you or is it the

 

"I my im all messed up, you see i am having sex with to girls and dont know which one to keep"

 

you see most who read your post are not thinking.

 

"Humm poor guy, must be hard being in that place I mean cheating on his GF with a new woman and now what to do what to do?"

 

nope they think you are selfish.

 

Me I dont think that at all, I think you are you

 

but what you have to ask is

"What kind of Man do I wont to be?"

 

you know what is the right thing to do I need not tell you, but what matters more is why you have not done it.

[GottaLetItBurn]

Hey what goes around comes around, and oh does it ever come unexpecetedly. You need to dump her, and tell her you don't have anymore feeling for her. That way she can be let down easy, but don't string her along.

 

You are only going to be doing something that can make you look more insecure, stringing a girl on as a back up. Cheats are already the most insecure people on earth, as you have said you had been paranoid she was cheating. So straight up leave her.

 

Lieing to her will only come back around and hurt you ten times worse. Your subconscious will haunt you the longer you carry those lies around. If you really don't care or have any feeling, then no one on here or anywhere can help you.

 

Hey though, I understand you in a way. Don't do that exclusive stuff, you have a right to be "dating" around. Don't put a relationship tag on it, because that can cause the other partner pain. Try to get with these girls with the impression you are free to see other people, if you want to mess around.

[D1886]

Hey what goes around comes around, and oh does it ever come unexpecetedly.

 

Lieing to her will only come back around and hurt you ten times worse. Your subconscious will haunt you the longer you carry those lies around. .

 

CO-SIGN.......especially about the subconscious.

[yeawutever]

Most people 19 like you and me are on an age of exploring what is out and figuring out what you want in life. Though, some people mature faster than others and then off course some are just not ready for accomplishing the components needed for commitment.

 

Perhaps you might have a commitment problem as a results of attachment issues that hasn't been resolve yet and thus your dating around is telling you that you aren't ready for that level of commitment in a relation. If she has a terrible temper like you stated and capable of doing harm to you or herself you might want to call it quits, but not necessarily tell her the real reason as to why you're breaking up.

 

Or the second option would be to first call the hotlines, make sure someone's there , then you can tell her what is happening and that you're too young for commiting and don't have full understand of it yet. Either way, break up, a relation based on lying and deception never works, well good luck.

[lady00]

Either stop cheating or leave your girlfriend. I'm surprised your new girl puts up with this situation. It's not fair to either of them. If you're really going to marry your gf then drop the new girl and put some work into that relationship. Otherwise drop the other relationship. As you said yourself, this situation will eventually catch up with you. Almost inevitably...I've heard enough cheating stories to know that eventually the cheater will mess up somehow and their partner will find out or their partner will always suspect something is wrong and never quite trust them again.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Right - my advice is....stop cheating.

 

I'm hoping you're writing here because you feel bad and are looking for a WAY to tell her not permission to not.

 

The right thing to do dude, is to man-up and confess your sins, give your girlfriend the opt-out choice and hope she JUST leaves crying.

 

AND - if I were you, I'd keep tabs on local gun shops and the like to make sure that no weapons are acquired in her name anywhere.

 

Good luck buddy.

[v8vachon]

ok.. at 19 years old, you shouldnt even be trying to get married!obviously you said it yourself, you want to make sure you have the right girl. You need to do that on your own as a single man, not when you are commited to a woman. There is your answer. Listen, when she finds out u cheated.. she will kill u or herself anyways.(ALL things come to the light.. even if it's years on end.) so the best thing to do is be a man and take your blame, walk away and explore life.. 19 is not a good age to thin kof marriage.. at 19, u barely know yourself and what you want. You want to explore fine, but not at her expense, you should love her enough to let her go.

[rmpavlock]

Sounds like you want to "have your cake and eat it too". Be fair to your old girlfriend. You are young. If you want to meet other people and go out with other people, that's fine...but let her do the same. Cut her loose. If you are meant to be married, you'll find out down the road.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

if she finds out you cheated, just wait until you see her temper then! she will feel a huge amount of rage and betrayal, which is justified, why add to the temper load? at 19 you are both too young to contemplate marriage, especially if she has temper problems and you have a fidelity problem...

 

don't delay the inevitable, have a talk with her about being too young to commit to her right now, and talk out a less serious relationship with her that allows you both some freedom to experiment, or decide she means to much to you to risk losing her by cheating, or break up with her before she discovers the new girl and has to deal with your loss AND feelings of betrayal.

[candy604]

wow you need some growing up to do. even though she might have a real bad temper, it's still her right to know what is going on. would you like her to have a new boy toy on the side? or at least be honest and agree that it's an open relationship. She can also date other guys as well. Think about if the situation is reversed. if you want to find the right girl, break it off with your current gf and just date girls in general. Relationships are about commitment and your present behaviour is a predictor for the future, doesn't look too bright right now.

 

grow up and don't make excuses for your behaviour.

[Royltnxile]

For her sake, I hope your girlfriend is banging all kinds of other guys!

 

Ever head of communication? Just tell your girlfriend you and her need to take a break and date other people. Habitually cheating on her isn't going to solve anything down the road. Obviously, you don't care much about your girlfriend if you are cheating on her, so why not just cut her loose?

[Survictor]

I used to get really jealous and have had little trust in her when I was away

 

How would you have felt if she HAD been cheating on you then?

 

Do her a favour and tell her gently so she can dump you and leave her a little dignity. I am sure she would be better off being able to find someone who treated her with a little more respect.

[ender1]

I feel sorry for the poor gal who ever ends up with you.

[kuhaaica]

Before any advice, I'd like to say that you are an a-hole .

 

Anyways, tell your girlfriend what's up. There's no sense in marrying her in 3 years, if you've cheated on her and have "feelings" for another girl. Tell her what's going on and let HER break up with you. You should apologize for being such a -....nevermind. Goodluck?

 

 

I AGREE, do you HAVE ANY clue of what pain your selfish "fun and excitement" is going to cause your girlfriend when she finds out!!

Argh i could strangle you right now...

 

I hope she leaves you flat....ya know karma catches up with you everytime.

 

Sorry no real advice on how to hurt your girlfriend any furthur.

[puppeteer]

you are not worth the comment...