Ever Wonder Why Some People Seem So Lucky?

[RayKay]

You know the ones - the people whom land the perfect job, meet their dream partner and fall in love, whom meet so many new people, do well in all they do? Ever wonder how some people manage to do one change to their daily routine, which changes their whole life, or what could have happened - like those who "missed" a call with death or destiny?

 

And then you wonder why you don't have that luck?!?!?!

 

 

I wanted to post this as I read a very interesting article in a magazine today ("Just My Luck", Men's Health, December 2005) and I really think a lot of people even on this site could benefit from some of the information it had.

 

The article starts with the premise that the only kind of luck - is the kind you make for yourself. Lucky people are MADE, not born, that we usually have some amount of control over what happens in our lives by the principles and choices we make.

 

Researchers in the article found essentially that those whom considered themselves lucky, and those whom thought they were unlucky were when exposed to several SAME exact scenarios and chances in studies reacted differently. Those whom thought they were lucky were more aware of their surroundings, and more likely to seize opportunities. I won' go into details of the studies, but the did indicate that when exposed to the same opportunities, those whom were "lucky" noticed them and took advantage, while those who were "unlucky" tended to be more introverted and not make such observations.

 

Lucky people are more likely to seize the opportunity to talk to new people, and make business or romantic contacts - they acted on random opportuities that came to them. This sometimes means taking chances, and risk, or it may mean just opening your eyes to possibilities and stepping outside of your security. It means varying your routine to expose you to new people, new places, new experiences. Taking chances and being aggressive in those.

 

Lucky people also tend to listen to their GUT instinct when something does not seem right or even when it did!. It's why some people don't get on that plane that later crashes - you don't always recognize them, but you can feel them. They are little red flags that are there for a reason!

 

It also came down to expectations. Those who expected to be lucky, or were confident in their chances, tended to have better outcomes. If you think you can do it, you quite possibly will! It's like the guy who makes the impossible last minute touchdown, to the guy who finds love in produce aisle. If you go into a date for example EXPECTING to like her, that will radiate from you in that smile, and she will smile back, creating similar feelings.

 

And lastly, those whom were lucky, would even see in bad luck - the possibility for good. When life throws negative your way, you seize it and use it to motivate you to make positive change in your life. There is opportunity in negative experiences. This can mean a huge attitude shift for some, from one that feels that the experience is "the end" for them, or they will never have another chance, to one that believes this experience is part of the journey and better awaits.

 

I have always been a big believer that we create our own reality. That what happens in our lives is not what we "hope" will, but what we BELIEVE will. If I apply this to relationships for example, it would be a case where someone is so sure that their partner will leave them they start creating an atmosphere of distrust, anxiety and desperation that all manifest themselves. Eventually these manifestations create that reality. So, it is not so out there to believe we can also create our own luck?

 

Obviously, the article contains a lot more explanation of these details which are worth a read, since I don't want to infringe, but it was some very interesting food for thought.

[Nkaleidoscopic]

I think the people that seem lucky and seem to have glamorous lives only act that way because theyre confident and strong-willed. They don't let hard things in life stop them from living a happy life.

 

I'm sure that every 'lucky' person isnt very lucky if you could really see what theyve gone through.

[RayKay]

I think the people that seem lucky and seem to have glamorous lives only act that way because theyre confident and strong-willed. They don't let hard things in life stop them from living a happy life.

 

I'm sure that every 'lucky' person isnt very lucky if you could really see what theyve gone through.

 

Oh I agree.

 

If someone is to look at my life they may "consider me lucky" however I have had a LOT of bumps and major bruises along the way. It's how you take what you are given...the whole when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Many people face tremendous tragedy and it is natural that that will affect you, however many also take that tragedy to do good things, and perform "miracles" in their lives and in the lives of others.

[Mun]

Good post Raykay. I also think that it's our attitude towards life that determines if we will succeed or not.

 

I choose to be happy.

[RandomAdvisor]

Very interesting. I thought "You make your own luck" as soon as I saw the title of the post. But it's always nice when science tests some of our basic assumptions, beliefs, myths.... In some case they dispel our myths, in other cases they prove them. In this instance, I think it does both. The unlucky people who call other people "lucky" so they can make excuses for themselves to not try hard because they think good things are supposed to just fall into their laps...this dispels things for them. And for people who already have it pretty good and don't really believe in luck, this confirms what they believe. My life isn't that great but I think I fall into the latter category.

 

You make a great point about expectations RayKay. People see what they want to see (Cognitive Dissonance in Psychology is another great example of this - Google it), and when it's not there - they make it if they can.

[shes2smart]

Amen, sistah....

 

When I started playing with the concept of creating my own reality, I jokingly came up with the affirmation "I am one of God's favorites." The thing is, the more often I repeated that affirmation, the truer it became.

 

Another affirmation that I started working with early in the process (which started a good 15 years ago for me) was, "Everything always works out for my highest good"....which has proven itself true time & again.

 

Just having those beliefs has made it easier to get through the most excremental stuff in the last 15 years because they've taught me to find the good in any situation. The good is always there...it's just not always easy to find.

[arwen]

I think shes2smart's signature sort of summarizes the principle of the 'lucky' people

 

Good post, ray!

[ComputerGuy]

That is true - but there is also some things which while they do have their good points, the bad points outweigh them in the sense of how they affect you at the time.

 

As an example, my ex cheated on me, on the plus side I am not as naive as I was, I'm not as trusting (although still a little too trusting), and I know what to look out for in the future.

 

On the downside, I gave up the one thing I promised I wouldnt until I found the girl I was meant to be with (my virginity), I had a nervous breakdown, and I tried to kill myself on several occaisions.

 

I can think of another example but I think that one gets my point accross. It's not bad luck in the sense that I can't see the good in it...I do, it's just the painful way that particular situation made me realise the good.

 

Edit: Just read S2S's post - I do believe everything happens for a reason, and I do believe in karma...be it good or bad, it's just sometimes it's hard to accept the good when the bad feels so overwhelming.

[RayKay]

 

Just having those beliefs has made it easier to get through the most excremental stuff in the last 15 years because they've taught me to find the good in any situation. The good is always there...it's just not always easy to find.

 

Agreed, and I like that so much more then the "there is a reason for everything" - because quite frankly sometimes there is no reason for some horrible things that happen. But the good CAN be found and created from those situations.

[ShySoul]

Everyone is lucky.

 

Everyone who is alive is lucky. Just to be alive and have the potential to do anything we sent our minds to doing is a great thing.

 

Those who have "bad luck" just may be the luckiest of us all. When you have to work to overcome difficulties, you learn about yourself more. You see all of your strengths, for they are what gets you through. You learn how valuable all of your skills are, your determination and willpower. You aren't as likely to take for granted what you have. You are more likely to appreciate the little things, more likely to see the potential in things. You realize that it takes time, work, and effort to do things and you are willing to invest that time, work and effort and potentially reap bigger rewards later on. And you are more appreciative of where you end up, not forgetting your roots or what you had to go through to get there. You are more open and receptive of the little people so to speak, not likely to overlook them and are more understanding of their plight.

 

Really, do we want to have good luck? That pain and struggle that comes with "bad luck" is what life is all about.

[RayKay]

 

Really, do we want to have good luck? That pain and struggle that comes with "bad luck" is what life is all about.

 

There was nothing in it that stated "good luck" just fell into your lap, and was not earned, or appreciated, your post is talking about something entirely different then the article I am talking about is...you are talking about learning from experiences, rather then about how to create positive 'luck' in your life - which also comes from those experiences.

 

 

And lastly, those whom were lucky, would even see in bad luck - the possibility for good. When life throws negative your way, you seize it and use it to motivate you to make positive change in your life. There is opportunity in negative experiences. This can mean a huge attitude shift for some, from one that feels that the experience is "the end" for them, or they will never have another chance, to one that believes this experience is part of the journey and better awaits.

 

The point was that even those with good luck have BAD or negative experiences, but they learn from them and can turn them into good opportunities for learning, and living - they use them as opportunities, not as crutches. Nor does it say that those whom have made positive things in their life are unappreciative or unaware of those others in their life around them. I think that is a really broad assumption of people, I know plenty of "lucky" people whom have gone through tremendous tragedy in their lives, and terrible backgrounds, but they are now "lucky" because they learned from those experiences - turned negative into positive as the article and my post discussed. So do they take it for granted? No, they worked for it.

 

The article no where states, nor did I say, that those with good luck had "only good luck" and were never touched by tragedy - just the opposite in fact. They learned to be open to opportunity, to listen to their instinct, to try new experiences, and open themself up to positive experiences. The point was also that those with bad luck who revelled in the bad luck and used it as an excuse, were the ones who would continue to find themselves in "bad luck" as they never learned, or moved forward from their experiences.

 

It's about turning things around, and about working towards that good luck, not just having it "happen". They created it to happen.

[ShySoul]

I never stated that the article or you Raykay said anything of the kind. I was merely using this post as an opportunity to speak about "luck" in general and to raise another idea for people to think about. Yes, supposedly "lucky" people do have hardships to overcome and do not necessarily take things for granted. I never said they do. However, there are people like that out there and we can't deny it. Likewise there are people who start from very modest places, struggle and work hard to earn everything, and then let power get to there heads. It works both ways and depends on the individual.

 

I was speaking to the people who are down on their luck so to speak, and who never seem to have things go through way. I was trying to help them shift their perspective so that instead of being down about how things aren't going well for them, they see that they are in fact the lucky one. It's about the journey, not the destination. As someone who has personally had the universe conspire in everyway to knock me down (or at least it feels that way at times) despite my best efforts otherwise, I feel for these people. Those who are really down on their luck, they can follow the advice the article gives to no avail. They can be open to opportunity, listen to instinct, try new experiences, and be open to positive experiences.... but things don't go there way. They still get overloaded with obstacles that they shouldn't have to go through and that couldn't have been avoided.

 

Yes, I agree that they shouldn't give in and should look forward. But from a person with such bad luck's perspective, they are going to resist the idea that these other people have bad luck themselves. If its not readily appearant or obvious, a lot of people aren't going to think that way because they are so mired in their bad luck of which they had no control over. It's easy to say to a person that they should keep positive and be open to possibilities, its a lot harder for that person to actually do it. So I'm taking a more personal approach. I'm trying to reach out to the person and get them to see that what they consider bad luck, may very well be the best thing that ever happened to them and that even if they don't see it at the time, faith and positive thought will lead the way.