You want your ex back? Things to avoid certain doom!

[SuperDave71]

No one ever said anything about using No contact being used as a game to get your ex back.

 

The bottom line is simple: If you were a idiot while IN the relationship and you try to use No Contact to get them back, yet you have solved nor learned anything while apart, what do you hope to gain?

 

 

What you will end up with is the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.....better known as the clinical definition of insanity.

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[EQIQ]

Hey Dave, just a question (sorry if its too personal).

What happened with that ex of yours from the beginning of this thread? The one that you were with for quite a few years, and had something with another guy for 8 months, then came back to you.

[matt_t586]

This really helps and I know I need to do this "No contact" Its just its hard and its eating me up inside!

[woodst0ck]

I must admit that NC is the hardest part. We have been together twenty years and she was in bed with someone a week after the split. I told her to go and stay at her Mother's place so that I could have some me time to get my head together without knowing what she is doing with the new man.. She still emails me from work most days and asks how to do things like setup her personal email at work, how am I doing etc. This weekend has been the worst as I've had no contact at all.

 

I love your posts SD and they are certainly helping in these initial stages and am taking your advice on many levels, especially thinking about myself for a change. It's helped me to get more in control and I do feel better for that.

 

The only trouble I'm having is thinking that as I don't contact her, she will forget about me much more quickly... having real trouble with that.

[getbiii]

wow you are so helpfully,

but i think i pushed my ex to far away?

could you chek out my post superdave?

tell me what you think and where i should go on from here?

[kimb1993]

i am new to this site, been no contact for nearly 3 months now and getting better day by day. it def helps you to cope and see things in perspective and even though i do want my ex back madly, i know i will be ok if i move on and he is no longer a part of my life. this site has been of great help.. thanks guys.

[getbiii]

hey this is my story, tell me what you think and which way i need to go with this,

i just copied and pasted it from my site,

 

so about three weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me,

doesnt matter why anymore, but now she is with another guy!

i know he is just a rebound guy, it is really obvious, as soon as we broke up she started going out with him and now they are "going out". at first i was really skeptical about her really loving me, she erased me from her facebook, myspace and msn. i still would go into her profiles and saw that she erased our pictures too. when we first broke up she said she needed some time. i must admitt i didnt give it to her at first, i begged her for days then she got really annoyed and said i wasnt respecting her space, so i decided to give it to her, two days later she calls me and says she misses me and loves me so i go back to her and start looking for her again, then the same thing happened agian, she said i wasnt giving her space. so i stepped back for some time again until one day i decided to go look for her again and invited her for some coffee, first she was ok, then on the way there she started crying and said that it hurt to see me and that she really didnt want to go and she said that she didnt want to see me agian because she falls in love with me everytime she sees me. so i stopped looking for her again then one day i decided to go to her house in the morning thinking she wasnt going to be there because i wanted to drop off her back pack that she had left at my house, so as you might guess i ran into her on the way to her house. she invited me to have breakfast and everything was really cool we were just making small talk and didnt talk about "us" then when the time came to leave we were outside by her car, and she said she loves me and tried to kiss me, then left crying. minutes later she texted me saying she really loves me a lot and she misses me over and over again, and that she doesnt like seeing me because she doesnt like to leave me and that she doesnt like saying she doesnt want to be with me... so days went by and valentines day came and i already had everything planned before the breakup, so i asked her mom for permission to go into her house while they werent home and i decorated her room, filled the walls with loves notes, as well as other things. two days later i woke up after a horrible nightmare with her, so i decided i was tired and i went to go look for her, by this point she was already going out with this guy. i went to her house and there she was with the guy and i asked her if we could go for a walk and go talk because i was sick of everything and felt like she was playing with me, so as we were walking away from her house after a coulple of houses down the road we stopped to talk. i asked her if she was going out with that guy, she couldnt even look at me and kept denying him, then like always she started crying but she couldnt even look at me, and i just told her i was really sorry for everything that had happened and that i was greatfull for everything that had happened between us and that i was always going to remember her as something beautifull, i gave her my heart and said many things, i told her all i wanted was for her to be happy and not forget me and that maybe we could still be friends, she said we could never be friends because we have other feelings for each other, then i said i would wait for her for ever and she said she loved me and thanked me and huged me and left, later that night she sent me a text saying "you have no idea how hard it is to put your love notes and everything that reminds me of you into boxes, but it is even harder having to see them every day. believe me when i say i love you, you were the one to show me how to really love someone and i dont think ill ever love any one with the same intensity and pain like i loved you. i wouldn't like to ever think that we could share what we had because when i said i wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, i wouldn't thinik of anything exept that. i love you as much as the last time we made love or the last time we held hands, i would like to think that my love didnt die in vain and that there is still hope for us to love us agian ='( this hurts so much, sorry for leaving you but i felt something had to change in me..." a week went by after this text and i never replied or called her back, after a week she called me a thousand times, she called me and i was driving so i said i couldnt talk, then she texted me and told me to call her when i wasnt busy, then she called me twice and i didnt answer, then she called again and a friend answered saying i wasnt there, then she sent me text messages, first saying to answer, then trying to get my attention by saying " if you dont call me you will never know annything from me again, you wont even remember me" by the end of the night she was texting me things like "this is starting to get me now, i dont think i can take it annymore i feel really bad" so i called her later when i got home at around 3 am. i asked her whats up and she was really pissed, she was saying that she has no idea how i can be having so much fun and that it seemed that i was doing better off with out her and that she felt like she was always holding me back and that now im having more fun with out her, so i told her the truth i said i wasnt going to be sad for her when she is going out with another guy and doing great, she said that she isnt even that great with him, that if i thought about it i would see that it didnt even make sense that she is going out with him. she said everything happened so fast and he was the only one to take care of her when we broke up (rebound guy just like i thought) then she started going on about how i didnt even care about the text she sent me on monday (the long one) that i probably didnt even get it, so then we hung up, the next day when i woke up i talked to a friend and she gave me advice and told me to tell my ex to decide because im not going to be there for her for ever, so i did just that and told her the best way possible that she had to make up her mind because this was only hurting us, her reply was " your not going to wait for me now? im ok now but im not happy all day, and now i've made some one else fall in love with me and once again im going to make two people unhappy, thats why im not happy and my happiness doesnt matter because two people's hearts depend on me, whom i dont want to lose, i still feel a lot of pain, and you dont understand how i feel, its not that easy to just choose, thats why i want my time, i love you and i wont forget you but i want to be sure that i wont hurt anyone and that i can be happy." then later during the night right before writing this long story of my confusion pain and broken heart on this forum she sent me another text saying "everytime i get home and im alone i feel sad and lonely, but i know its not necessary to feel this way. im telling you this because i want you to know i dont forget you and that i think about you a lot of the time, sorry. i just feel that i need right now but don't reply, ill just go to sleep and forget about it, bye"... i didnt reply, im going to let her go for a while and i hope she comes back to me, but i need advice, point of views, please please please tell me what you think... i really dont want to lose this girl, i thought about it hard and we belong, i love her so bad, is there still hope?............ sorry about the grammar its late and im tired

 

 

... so she sent me another text in the morning, something really random. saying she had a funny dream with me that night, and she asked me when i was going to give her, her bike back. i haven't replied.

im going for the no contact rule.

but what if she thinks she still has me even thou we dont talk?

 

so i think i might have messed up =(

i followed some advice

and sent her a text saying exactly this

"dont text me anymore please, i want to be with you but im not going to be here anymore while you are with someone else, if you love me like you said you would fight for me and if you do decide to come back then call me, i might still want to. but i opened my eyes and the truth is that you chose someone over me, no one forced you. until then i dont want to know anything about you, if you want to throw three years away go ahead and do it. and if you want your bike back come get it, its outside on my porch, im busy, ok? sorry if i sound mean but this is the truth"

 

 

then she replied

F$%# you then, thanks

 

 

 

...ok next morning she sends me a text saying

 

"im sorry please dont F@$% off, its just as you imagine your text really hurt me. but at the same time im tired of being mortified every day by you. i miss you and every morning i wake up and remember you, i remember the ring you gave me and your face when i picked you up at L.A. ='( your face that day killed me, i dont want to live anymore. i wish i had brain damage so i wouldnt have to remember anything"

 

i replied saying "dont say that, that wont fix anything, you know that, it hurts me when you say thing like that, that you dont want to remember me anymore"

 

she replied, "sorry please dont get mad i dont want to lose you"

 

i remember the long i stick around the longer the rebound too, so i applied LC

and simply replied "i dont know what to say"

 

 

i didnt text her in days,

then sunday night when i was out having fun and trying to keep myself busy she sent me a long text saying..

 

"please forgive me but i wanted to tell you that this hurts me so much, i miss you so much and i want to be with you and you have no idea how much its killing me, i dont know what to do. sorry please don't get mad, dont reply. just understand that im not doing ok right now. please dont get mad='( i wont text you anymore, or bother you ever, but i needed to tell you that this is killing me."

 

 

i followed the low contact rule, and since it was late i didnt reply until this morning.

i just said "im not mad and it doesnt bother me"

she replied "thanks"

 

 

i dont know what to think, is she actually starting to regret leaving me?

should i make a move?

wait more time?

 

i've been thinking and every time she does call me or text me, its usually when she is alone. not with the rebound guy,

so it makes me think that it doesnt matter what she says at all, it might as well be lies until she doesnt actually do something to be with me.

but then i think, what if she is afriad to make a move?

 

what if a wait to long and she does want me back but is to afraid to talk to me?

 

 

days have passed, and one night she called me crying telling me that she jsut wanted to hear my voice and saying she misses me and loves me.

i kept my cool

and didnt let in,

next morning she showed up at my door step,

crying and hugging me saying the same thing, that she loves me and wants to be with me, she even kissed me,

i just rubbed her back and just hugged her,

everytime i would try to pull away she would pull me back close to her.

she later went online, and tried to talk to me but i had to leave, and she sent me messages while i was offline saying that she wanted to talk with me, that she loved me, that she misses me again.

 

 

her boyfriend contacted me and made me feel so bad,

he asked me if i had seen her this past week,

then he started saying that i only make her suffer and that i shoudl keep away from her

and all sort of things,

any ways

i told her, i sent her a text and said hey whats up with your boyfriend asking me all this stuff, it really hurts you know, i don wanna be involved in you relationship.

 

she replied saying "shut up, i dont even have a relation anymore"

 

then she asked me what he had asked me

so i told her to ask him and she asked me again so i told her.

 

she then sent me a text saying "you dont make me suffer, i appoligize for what ever he said to you and that he made you feel bad, the truth is that he doesnt know me, and i know what that what we shared yesterday was love but it confused everything i knew and felt, and i dont know what to do with everything, im only killing myself. i dont have anyone to talk to and the truth is i think i need a psychologist because im not ok, but i love you, just le me find myself and we'll see what happens...

 

 

 

im going back to Nc to very low contact

[TSandullo]

Many arrive at this part of the forum with the intention of getting their beloved ex back.

 

I gotta bump this up.

 

Tnx SD71

 

TS

[yogi]

Hi, everyone --

 

I'm going through NC and I've read five years of posts in three days and can see that while no contact is necessary, it's painful and can go on for years. One thing I've learned online is that no contact has to end sometime, either in our minds of leaving someone alone or making contact.

 

But no matter what, no contact does three things:

 

1. Forces you to do what the other person wants and not go with your gut. And by doing so, you're loving them the best you can.

2. And...not be a stalker.

3. Gives you the time to be a better person and while soothing your nerves you become your own project. So that when you've made progress, you might even be over that person; if not more confident and attractive to them. And maybe the no contact was just a way we can cope with the future of not getting back together. For instance, "To hell with him, I'm doing no contact and he'll see what he's lost." Maybe he won't care, but I'll be better. And I'm the one who counts.

 

I've read just about everything there is to find in a Google search: here's a fantastic site (for women, though): It's "how to get an ex boyfriend back."

 

 

It's the best I've seen.

 

How in the world is SuperDave? And OCD, how are things with you? I feel like I've gotten to know you over years of posts. I wonder if the cycle of regaining lost love has come and gone and all of the posters are either with the one they lost or have recovered and won't need this thread for a while or hopefully ever again. The last post I saw was March 9.

 

Some of the posts have been encouraging...with nice tips that help me feel better about myself. Some make me just sadder than I already am. But I've found this thread very helpful in that "do nothing" period, where I can feel that tinge of uncertainty. And loss.

 

It makes me sad and nervous to see people figuring when to contact someone in the "do nothing" period. I want to say, "JUST GO FOR A WALK!" But there's a time to do something. So when is it?

 

It's been only four days of NC for me, though we broke up about a month ago and I thought we had made ammends. We were together over a year and considered marriage. He is still a good candidate for me...though not now. (As SuperDave would say.) I just know it. We love each other. I'm 34 and have dated around.

 

But he needs time to rebuild his life after soon losing a job and his footing in his field. Plus, there's therapy helping him overcome years of abuse and abandonment. Me, I'm also someone with low self-esteem and survivor of domestic violence. So we're both using this time to heal. I'm living and doing better every day with bi-polar symptoms.

 

The firey end came down to us talking about moving forward and me moving in slowly to him distancing himself and when I didn't hear from him in 3 days, calling and finding out he was purposely distancing himself from me. He had even suggested what day to move, preparations, where the kitty box will go, how I can't leave my clothes on the floor. But now he's not sure. Then he essentially says he probably should have never suggested it. I say, I have to get off the phone, have to hang up and good-bye. Not a word since. I deleted his number and texts and turn my phone off at night so I won't listen for a special beep that won't come. He can leave a message if he does all. I'm angry.

 

My question is what are some positive things you can think while enduring NC? I'm already busy, going to the gym, reading, doing yoga, volunteering.

 

I'm not banking on a reunion, though I would like one someday. And I'm going about my life as if he isn't coming back. But how do you balance somewhat of a hope in a better relationship and moving on when it hurts less?

 

Thanks in advance. Hope somebody reads this (other than the IT folks at my work.)

 

Yogi

[yogi]

Also, some of what I mentioned above about the good things no contact does came from SuperDave. Thank you SuperDave.

[yogi]

Getbii,

 

Not sure if anyone is active on this site anymore or if you check it still; but I just wanted to check on you. It's June now -- did she come back?

 

If not, I don't know if it's a comfort to know this, but sometimes when people are mixed up and have psych issues, it really does take a long time for them to come around. But they sometimes do.

 

If you're still in limbo, let me suggest to stick strongly with no contact. That said, if she's in crisis and you'll know it when you see it, then respond and make sure she's OK. It might really be hard for her to stay in contact with you. So look at it as if you're doing this for her. (But really for you, because it totally sucks to be in your position.)

 

I'm not an expert. Just going through something similar right now.

 

Good luck and be well.

 

Yogi

 

P.S. Keep staying busy and healthy.

 

P.S.S. Anyone else out there? Write about what's happening with you.

[whatnow23]

I agree superdave. It was only when I gave up and stopped caring, stopped talking to the ex, and just did nothing that she came back. She's giving a few signs of wanting to work things out.

 

However, just like in the movie swingers...she called to late. My new girl i slowly putting me under her spell..haha

 

Swingers is a great movie andone of the best lines occurs during the discussion at the beginning where rob tells mike "you can't do anything to make her want to come back, in fact you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back."

[hater13]

hmm i wish there was something going on with me. Me and my ex aren't on speaking terms, haven't been for almost 2 months now. Except for an awkward msn conversation I initiated at the end of April, he actually spoke quite a bit, didn't seem like he was trying to avoid me but I still found it to be so formal and odd. Though he did leave the conversation saying he'd be right back as he was on the phone, and went offline immediately after, thing is I never replied saying ok, i took it as a clue saying "i don't want to speak to you". I have enough dignity to know when to back off...especially after my first week of begging and all that.

 

The day I initiated NC I spoke to him on the phone and told him that I could no longer speak to him, because the friendship he wanted from me was something I couldn't give him without false hope. Honestly, I think he wanted the friendship just because he couldn't let go of me..the fact that you have someone with you constantly.

 

Anyway a month after the break up he deleted me on facebook but still has me on msn I can't read much into that though since there really is no way I can rationalize it lol

 

Since then it's been nothing but silence...that horrible, horrible silence.

 

Sometimes I think that he hasn't blocked me because he expects me to contact him again? I don't know. I just can't message him though, it would hurt too much if I got a response I didn't expect.

 

So all I can do is hope that he plucks up the courage to get into contact with me....that is if he even wants to

[yogi]

You're doing the right thing hater 13. If you know staying in contact with him will hurt you, you have to stay away for your own sanity. Stay strong. You have to let him come to you.

 

Read something in another post yesterday -- for the ex: relief after breakup, guilt two weeks later and then they REALLY miss you around the 6-8 week mark. So this should be right arong the corner. In the meantime, take care of you. (That's what my friends tell me, anyway.)

[fortyman92]

what should i do with the whole nc thing

Here is my situation, sorry if its long.

I’ve always had a crush on my best friend’s sister. I found this embarrassing and didn’t tell anyone. I am 18 years old right now and have known her since for 10 years and since I can remember I’ve always had a thing for her. (she is 16 right now). Once she entered high school I began to see her more frequently and would always notice that she would give me “the look” as I would pass her in the hallway. February of that year I learned that she also liked me and we began seeing each other starting in March. This evolved into a relationship that lasted up until last week (15 months) when she ended it with me.

At the very beginning of the relationship she pretty much initiated everything. She was the one who texted me first, she had her friend ask if I would hook up with her, and she was the one who texted me to hangout on the night we first hooked up. It was like I was so scared of screwing up that I basically didn’t do anything. I was just soooo happy to finally have the girl of my dreams. Anyway, as time passed I noticed that she wasn’t texting me as much and realized that I was the only one who was arranging for us to hangout. In July I finally just asked if she was still into me and she said that she was. I was ok with this and we continued going out despite the fact that I felt she was not really into the relationship. I would get so many mixed signals. When we would hangout we had great conversations and she seemed to have a lot of fun but it became such a struggle to for me to get her to hangout. Even when we would hangout she always said that her mom wanted her home early. There were just so many excuses. It was like we would only hangout on her time and that time always had to be arranged a week in advanced…it was just so annoying. Despite a few fights, I basically put up with this kind of behavior.

Don’t get me wrong however, it wasn’t all bad, I know there were many times where we would have a mutual good time and this is what made it so tough. On multiple occasions I would think to myself that she’s done with me but then all of a sudden she would say how much she loved me and how I was a perfect boyfriend.

Finally, last week she ended it saying that she doesn’t deserve a guy as good as me and that she just doesn’t love me like she used to. Also, she said that she still wants to remain friends. Basically it was the whole “its me, not you thing..lets be friends”

I’m confused on what I should do at this point. Right now she is in Europe for 10 days so I haven’t been talking to her but before she left I said goodbye and we talked for an hour, not about the break up, but just about things that we would normally talk about when we were going out. Its gonna be hard to do the whole NC thing because ill see her sometimes since she’s my friends sister and we were friends for a long time before we started going out. Also, we have plans to go to a goo goo dolls concert in 3 weeks. So should I try LC or avoid her at all costs?…I’m so confused!!!!!… I really want her back.

[Baurman]

It seems like OCD has only finally moved on once he told his Ex to stop calling him unless she wants to reconcile.... I've read every OCD post and to me during the whole part where she kept calling him, it only brought in CONFUSION. Until he finally put his feet down and said not to call... And that's when he finally was able to move on, when his last post in this thread was pretty much saying it's been months since he's heard from her and he even started dating someone new.

[expert01]

BUMP

 

a quality read

[delicous]

sooo about the emails, I sent him within the time being broken up up til this last week about 8 emails!!, YES I know I am a crazy girl!

The last one was kind of like my final peace type of letter...letting him know exactly what i was doing, how I was doing and that

I am okay with out him...Thats it...there wasn't much more to it!/..But geeze when i read that part I just laughed! ha ha.

[Capthxc]

Hopefully its not too late for me. For a few days after the break up i went into desperation mode, even when i said i didnt want to be friends. I begged and pleaded and got no answer. I sent an e-mail about a week later, clearing things up, telling her that im finally okay with the break up, and how im trying to move on, and if we never talk again then i wish her the best of luck. There was still a little bit of desperation in the e-mail, but i think/hope it was the right thing to do. I havent made any contact since, except when i accidentally sent her a message, but promptly apologized and haven't said anything since.

[natalia486]

SuperDave..

I have been reading your posts, and I am so thankful for them as they gave me hope at times where i felt like crap. I was seeing a guy for 9 months...we were never really official, but we agreed that we were just seeing eachother..and it felt like we were...anyway he started distancing himself from me. So I started to think he was talking to some other girl..one day I drove by and saw him on the phone really late outside and I paniced..yes I called him and I told him that if he didn't want to speak to me to just tell me, and that he was probably talking to some other girl and that is why he was distancing himself from me. He asked me what I was talking about and I said I wasn't stupid so *u*K it, *u*Kit...so he didn't call me back, then I realized that I had just over reacted for the very first time in the 9 months..I wrote an e-mail apologizing and explaining why I acted that way, and how I felt. He never responded. I then read your post, and decided not to contact him until the other day after two months i went to look for him to his house..fortunately he wasn't there the two times I did. It was weakness, I realize that I broke up the whole thing up, and that I messed up. He is very prideful, and I am hoping that he will miss me at one point as what we had was very nice, no fights, no arguments..or at least i thought. I have decided to continue NC despite looking for him 2 weeks ago. Do you think that there is still a chance? I mean I do feel like I am healing, but I'd like to at least be hopefull of a second chance...or did i mess up that bad? what do you think? In this case, I think he is the one doing NC on me but I will stand firm and do NC on him! any advice SuperDave?

[thekid55]

Bump. A great read.

[ned2010]

i have hope that i will get my ex gf back, and i hope the NC idea works, i dated my ex last year before xmas and it didnt last long and we split, and i did all the desperation things, the gifts, the lovey dovey stuff, ect ect and she blanked me and pushed me away and we didnt talk for months which was hell but i never gave up hope, and 6 months later we got accidently in contact and i played it cool and she started showing interest again and we dated for a month and then she ended it again and turned nasty, she tried to push me out her life saying she wanted to move on, so i argued with her into being friends and we did the friends thing, found it hard to not be clingy, and i tried to convince her to see me again as i felt she may be still attracted to me, she thought about it but i ended up pressuring her to far and she said no, so i basically made all the mistakes you can think of, because i didnt want to have to do the NC thing again as its hell and was scared she would find someone else , but in the end she ignored me and blocked my facebook and she tells me she hates me for no reason

 

the big problem why we split was the distance, but in all fairness i known her 5 years and we was always on and off as friends, we almost got together several times years ago but distance got in the way, but i proberly done more for her then any other guy has and i am indeed kicking myself because the last time i was with her i was as nice and sweet as anything but i didnt recognise her needs, which made her have doubts about the relationship and now i recognise the problem i know i can fix things but now she lost interest and has judged me wrong

 

as i said we always had on and off relationship, i just hope 3rd times lucky, i havent spoke to her for 3 days and that feels like too long and i hope thre still a chance

[TJ323]

Hello all,

I just came accross this forum after I myself experienced a break up two days ago and I think it's great to see that Superdave and everyone else is offering advice and comfort for five years.

 

With that being said, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me two nights ago. Long story short, we met two years ago at a junior college and our relationship of course had ups and downs but was great; talked everyday on AIM, saw each other every week, did a lot of things together, and even shared the same hobbies (mostly playing games together). Of course the downfall is that we were so into each other, we didn't really spend time with any other friends (which I was/am fine with.) Fast forward to now, she just transferred to a UC last month (about 2 hours away) and I am finishing college next month.

 

Our relationship started to become really rocky about a month ago (when she moved). She had a huge confrontation with her dorm roommate which caused my gf to move out and find an apartment close to campus. Stress tends to get to her sometimes so with having to move out and starting her first quarter at the UC, she told me she wanted to go on a break because she has too many things to worry about, and being the genius I am, I suggested her we should stay together and I'll be there for her. She agreed but I guess the idea of ending things with me has been lingering in her head for a while, but she stayed with me anyways. Ever since it's been rocky. I mean we usually saw each other almost every weekend after that point (she would invite me up some of those times), but a couple weeks ago, her laptop broke down, she got a flat tire, now she has to deal with choosing classes for the next quarter, and finals are coming up. This led her to tell me she doesn't have time to be in a relationship and wants to focus on school and her career and broke things off with me.

 

I mean, I can respect her feelings and I know I screwed up when I didn't give her space the first time and pushing too much. But it's such a hard pill to swallow since I myself have stress as well, but I find relief in her during stressful times, while she considers me to add to the stress. Obviously that's because I probably made some mistakes, but, what should I do? In my mind, I think things are just overwhelming at the moment so she went to an extreme or maybe now that she has things to worry about, I'm not worth the trouble? I proposed we just wait till after finals (instead of breaking up), but she firmly declined. I love her to death and know she loves me, but I'm not quite sure if I mean as much to her as she means to me.

 

Should I just cut all contact till after we're both done with finals? Cut contact longer? Not try at all? I've been depressed lately and sleep only a few hours a night thinking about her and the situation as well as not eating normally. Also, it doesn't seem like it's affecting her nearly as much as it's affecting me, but then again I don't know if it's because she is so stressed with school or if I really don't mean that much to her. Sorry for the long post but I guess it's good to voice things out sometimes. It's just a horrible thought to not have her in my life; we both shared so many experiences and times together and can't imagine being with anyone else.

 

Sorry again for the length and thanks in advance.

[forinstance872]

if only i read your post a month ago ..... did all you say not to with predictible results

[TJ323]

What do you mean?