Girl flirts with me whole evening, then does a 180 the next day

[Alokinga]

Just got home from a birthday party where I met a girl with whom I almost spent the entire evening with. We really had a great time. She was constantly smiling, invited me to sit next to her on the sofa, laughed at all the things I said (even when they weren't the funniest), and we exchanged instagrams. She then texted me the moment she got home about noticing that we have a common acquaintance on ig, so we chatted for 10 minutes and said good night. I feel like I'm at an optimal position right now and I don't want to blow it. What's my next move? Talk a bit tomorrow then send a text on monday to ask if she wants to go out next week?

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, Alokinga said:

 we exchanged instagrams. She then texted me the moment she got home about noticing that we have a common acquaintance on ig, so we chatted for 10 minutes Talk a bit tomorrow then send a text on monday to ask if she wants to go out next week?

Ask her out. Ask if she would like to do something next week and when would be good for her.

Please don't discourage someone who seems this interested with awkward lateral moves and procrastinating out of fear. 

[lostandhurt]

She is into you it seems as you are her so make a move sooner than later.

There is nothing wrong with texting her tomorrow unless you want to play games and wait.

  "I had such a great time talking and hanging out with you at the party, would you like to meet for a drink/coffee/ice cream one day soon?"

 Right now she has a positive view of you, but if you wait she might start thinking you aren't that into her or play games.  If you contact her sooner there is less chance of blowing it with her than waiting unless of course you come off as needy, desperate or overly eager.  

 No need to wait till the next weekend, after work may work out great.

Lost

[ShySoul]

What do you think the next move should be? Don't think about it or plan it. Don't wonder, worry, or wait. Just do it. People seem to think they need a guidebook or have an action plan. Really, it's all about living in the moment and going with the opportunities that life presents you. 

So you had a good time with her and want to spend more time together? Then see when she's free to meet up again. Whenever you are both available, do it. It could be next week or it could be the next day. Whatever works, as long as you can be together. Think about what you talked about and suggest an activity that ties in, something you think she'd enjoy. Point is to spend time with her and continue getting to know each other and get closer. Remember, you didn't need to do anything special to get her talking to you. You were simply you. So just continue to be you, relax, and have fun. 

[Alokinga]

2 hours ago, ShySoul said:

What do you think the next move should be? Don't think about it or plan it. Don't wonder, worry, or wait. Just do it. People seem to think they need a guidebook or have an action plan. Really, it's all about living in the moment and going with the opportunities that life presents you. 

So you had a good time with her and want to spend more time together? Then see when she's free to meet up again. Whenever you are both available, do it. It could be next week or it could be the next day. Whatever works, as long as you can be together. Think about what you talked about and suggest an activity that ties in, something you think she'd enjoy. Point is to spend time with her and continue getting to know each other and get closer. Remember, you didn't need to do anything special to get her talking to you. You were simply you. So just continue to be you, relax, and have fun. 

Thank you. Due to past experiences, I often get into that mindset of hoping not to ruin something with a girl that's going well, either by not waiting enough or waiting for too long. I'll keep it chill and ask her out soon 🙂

[Kwothe28]

7 hours ago, Alokinga said:

I feel like I'm at an optimal position right now

Optimal position lol. There is no such thing, she likes you and that is the only "optimal position" you should take for now.

Just ask her for a date now. No waiting and playing games. She likes you so she wont say "No" and you would have a date to see where its going. 

[MissCanuck]

Don't bother waiting until Monday.

Strike while the iron is hot (today) and ask her to meet. 

[Alokinga]

57 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Don't bother waiting until Monday.

Strike while the iron is hot (today) and ask her to meet. 

Thanks, I just did now, we'll see how she responds!

[Batya33]

4 hours ago, Alokinga said:

Thank you. Due to past experiences, I often get into that mindset of hoping not to ruin something with a girl that's going well, either by not waiting enough or waiting for too long. I'll keep it chill and ask her out soon 🙂

Very hard to ruin if you ask her out for a date you plan in advance -most people know that that means  you are interested in seeing the person again and have interest romantically. I would ask within the next day and have a plan in mind.

[Alokinga]

12 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ask her out. Ask if she would like to do something next week and when would be good for her.

Please don't discourage someone who seems this interested with awkward lateral moves and procrastinating out of fear. 

Asked her out, she asked if our mutual friend can come too, I said yeah, then she said that we would make a great couple... nothing makes sense any more, I think I'm gonna give up on dating for some time

[Batya33]

She only likes you as a friend and or has a boyfriend.  I had the same experience as this woman a few times.  In one case I mentioned my boyfriend a number of times and he called and left a voicemail not exactly asking me out but inviting me to an event he was presenting at (but his tone obviously suggested date-like interest).  There is coherence -you misread her actions as flirtatious when she likely meant them as friendly.

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Alokinga said:

 she asked if our friend could come, to which I said why not . then she said "you two would make a good couple hahahah". 

Is she trying to fix you up with her friends? If you are curious you could go like a blind dates and see what happens. 

[Alokinga]

Just now, Batya33 said:

She only likes you as a friend and or has a boyfriend.  I had the same experience as this woman a few times.  In one case I mentioned my boyfriend a number of times and he called and left a voicemail not exactly asking me out but inviting me to an event he was presenting at (but his tone obviously suggested date-like interest).  There is coherence -you misread her actions as flirtatious when she likely meant them as friendly.

She doesn't have a boyfriend. I've never seen clearer signals than these. This is very confusing.

[Alokinga]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Is she trying to fix you up with her friends? If you are curious you could go like a blind dates and see what happens. 

I don't know what she's trying to do, but our friend is exactly that to me, a friend. I went out with her a couple of times and I'm really not interested romantically.

[Batya33]

4 minutes ago, Alokinga said:

She doesn't have a boyfriend. I've never seen clearer signals than these. This is very confusing.

You don't know that.  And maybe she does now -maybe her ex called her last night or someone else at the party noticed her and asked her out and she prefers him. It's not confusing - people can be flirtatious and friendly and not want to go out on a date with that person or change their minds. I once met a guy at a party, talked for hours, kissed him once and had no intention of ever going on a date with him.  Which is fine - I was single it was a fun evening and we enjoyed flirting and the kiss.  When he asked me if I wanted to see him again I told him no and I told him the reason why. If in advance of the kiss or the flirting he'd told me he was looking to see me again I'd have told him right then it wasn't going to happen.  But he didn't so I figured it's fun to meet someone at a party and have a good time for an evening.  I felt fine about it - people meet all the time and flirt/kiss/dance and it's a fun night.

[Batya33]

33 minutes ago, Alokinga said:

Asked her out, she asked if our mutual friend can come too, I said yeah, then she said that we would make a great couple... nothing makes sense any more, I think I'm gonna give up on dating for some time

You should if you expect that a woman who flirts and talks to you will say yes to a date.  It doesn't work that way but if those are your expectations it's probably better if you stop dating for now if you get this frustrated at a situation like that.  

[Alokinga]

5 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Don't bother waiting until Monday.

Strike while the iron is hot (today) and ask her to meet. 

Asked her, she asked if our mutual friend could come, I said sure, she then said "you two would make a great couple hahahah"... this is beyond confusing

[yogacat]

5 minutes ago, Alokinga said:

Asked her, she asked if our mutual friend could come, I said sure, she then said "you two would make a great couple hahahah"... this is beyond confusing

This is your chance to clarify and say that you're not interested in her friend that you are interested in her. If she billygoats around still then you know everything you need to know.. which means she hangs with you for fun as a friend, she has no real interest in you.

[Alokinga]

25 minutes ago, yogacat said:

This is your chance to clarify and say that you're not interested in her friend that you are interested in her. If she billygoats around still then you know everything you need to know.. which means she hangs with you for fun as a friend, she has no real interest in you.

Well if SHE's the one I asked out, then I think it's pretty clear it's not her friend that I like in that way.

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, Alokinga said:

Well if SHE's the one I asked out, then I think it's pretty clear it's not her friend that I like in that way.

It does seem like a bait and switch or she's pawning you off on the friend. Either go as a group and try to have fun or be  upfront and honest and tell her you would rather see her one-on-one for a real date. 

[lostandhurt]

6 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Just ask her for a date now. No waiting and playing games. She likes you so she wont say "No" and you would have a date to see where its going. 

EXACTLY

You want a date with her so ask. 

I don't think I have ever missed an opportunity by asking to soon but I know of plenty of times where I waited to long...

Lost

[lostandhurt]

46 minutes ago, Alokinga said:

Asked her, she asked if our mutual friend could come, I said sure, she then said "you two would make a great couple hahahah"... this is beyond confusing

Walk right through that and go on the date.  This is an opportunity for you to spend time with her again like at the party.  There were other people there then so go, be charming and funny with both women but focus most of your attention towards her.

 If she is trying to fix up you and the mutual friend you will know for sure in the first 30 minutes.  They are friends and this friend may have told her she has a crush on you so she is being a good friend and not stealing you away.  Best thing for you is to go and make it clear you are only into her.

If nothing comes of it fine but at least you made the effort and didn't just give up at the first signs of difficulty.  If you do this right the mutual friend may tell her to go for it with you as you two get on so well.

Dating is not easy and it gets exponentially harder if you quit to easily.

Lost

[Alokinga]

5 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

Walk right through that and go on the date.  This is an opportunity for you to spend time with her again like at the party.  There were other people there then so go, be charming and funny with both women but focus most of your attention towards her.

 If she is trying to fix up you and the mutual friend you will know for sure in the first 30 minutes.  They are friends and this friend may have told her she has a crush on you so she is being a good friend and not stealing you away.  Best thing for you is to go and make it clear you are only into her.

If nothing comes of it fine but at least you made the effort and didn't just give up at the first signs of difficulty.  If you do this right the mutual friend may tell her to go for it with you as you two get on so well.

Dating is not easy and it gets exponentially harder if you quit to easily.

Lost

True, thanks. I replied to her "umm ok... didn't really look at it that way tbh", which I suppose is clear enough about my intetions

[TeeDee]

1 hour ago, Alokinga said:

Asked her, she asked if our mutual friend could come, I said sure, she then said "you two would make a great couple hahahah"... this is beyond confusing

 

1 hour ago, Alokinga said:

Well if SHE's the one I asked out, then I think it's pretty clear it's not her friend that I like in that way.

Unfortunately as much as you like her & think that you clicked, the feeling is not mutual.   Her trying to fix you up with her friend is either a sh1t-test in which case you need to run or she doesn't see you as a romantic prospect.  

Meet up with them both if you like but go Dutch & have  zero expectations.   She's fully aware that you fancy her and if your affections were returned she would not be mentioning the friend (competition) let alone bringing her along. 

Sorry

[TeeDee]

It was fun in the moment but she didn't mean anything by it.  You read the signals . She was playing games.