Was I played ??

[Lexismith]

So I’ve been seeing this guy for three months. He has a very nonchalant personality and kinda quiet. He’s never been in a real relationship before he’s claimed that this is the “deepest that this has gone with a girl” despite him dating other women for months in the past. He said all the other women he has talked to or been with has been surface level. Anyways he’s has taken me on numerous of dates bought me flowers multiple times, Expressed to me that he has deep feeling for me and he wants a relationship etc. we have been intimate multiple times. For the past two weeks we have been having multiple arguments/ disagreements in which I’ve tried to end things with him twice over them but I stayed. Because he convinced me to not “throw in the towel” 


Most of are disagreements were about his lack of expression and nonchalantness he told me not to give up on him and he’ll try to fix it which o seen a little change. Lately his communication has changed he started pulling back after that. Anyways I posted a quote that said “I need to lay with my man when I get one” I didn’t apply to me but I thought it was funny so I posted it. He texted me saying “wow okay” I told me that it didn’t apply to me that I just thought it was funny. He left me on read after that . So a couple days after that I asked him if we’re done since the communication has died and he didn’t respond. This was all a couple days before valentine’s day which I found weird??? I ended up texting me saying “I guess you made your decision”. He never responded after that. 

Valentine’s Day comes its silent on his part I go to his instagram story and he posted flowers and a card  saying “happy Valentine’s Day with a heart” ? He ended up texting me three days after saying 

 

My bad it took me this long to respond. It never was I wasn’t into you anymore I was working and was having a rough day I was going to get back to you I just didn’t want to make things worse as things weren’t going the best. I just didn’t feel right not texting you back saying anything, I hope everything is good and if you don’t respond I get it I wish you the best I enjoyed the time we spent together.

 

come to find out the flowers and card were for his mom he took a photo of them still at his house and this were the exact ones . We ended up arguing again. Sending each other paragraphs and he ended up not responding when I told him I moved on and started talking to other people when he ghosted me, he put a thumbs up and left me on read it’s been a week since we spoke. I feel played he told me he started losing interest just within a couple days cause I was assuming things. How do I get over this 
 

 

 

 

 

 

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, Lexismith said:

So I’ve been seeing this guy for three months.. For the past two weeks we have been having multiple arguments/ disagreements in which I’ve tried to end things with him twice 

Sorry this is happening. How old is he? 12 weeks is the getting to know you period and you don't seem compatible at all. Arguing, breaking up, etc is a lot of drama for 12 weeks. 

Please discontinue the cryptic messages and games back and forth on social media and please try not to argue and have relationship talks through texting.

It seems like you dodged a bullet. Please consider setting yourself free from these headaches heartaches and drama and cutting your losses. 

[Coily]

Were you played? Not really. You both seem very incompatible and not able to communicate clearly to each other.

To be honest it sounds like you did some self sabotage here too. You tried to end things twice, and stayed, that built resentment; from reading this I think you would have found a way to end things regardless. What you are dealing with is not him playing you, but you both playing this back and forth game. When we are hurt we tend to want to find blame in others, don't let this one guy taint future relationships.

[Lexismith]

He also said this 

 

You went damn near the whole day last Saturday not talking to me, you didn’t text back damn near the rest of the day Sunday and when I responded back on Monday you didn’t say nothing until Tuesday did I trip? No. So what you make me think of that? Then you unfollow me on ig when I don’t respond when you know I’m at work at the time. You just went straight to assumptions when you could’ve asked was everything alright, what’s going on how has your day been or anything it was none of that tho. Yes I could’ve went about things differently but you could have as well, pinning it all on me like you don’t play a part in this. Doesn’t mean I don’t like you if I didn’t I wouldn’t have said anything back at all. But don’t just say it’s a you problem cause that’s not fair. Good to know how you feel tho since I was extra baggage

[Coily]

Be glad this is over. That paragraph sounds like you both really don't know how to communicate in a clear,  productive, and respectful manner. Sorry to be harsh.

[The Invisible Man]

I think the lack of maturity and communication skills, on both your parts was to blame.  It's clear you may have to read some relationship books in your future.  For now, you should probably move on to the next guy, and do everything completely different from what you both did here.  Good Luck. 

[smackie9]

Nah there's a reason why his relationships were short lived...it's him and his weirdness. You need to run as far away from him as possible. You are not getting what you need out of this. better out there hun. 

[MissCanuck]

49 minutes ago, Lexismith said:

, Expressed to me that he has deep feeling for me and he wants a relationship

So...why weren't you two in a relationship, then?

I am guessing he was the one who was hesitatnt to commit further? 

[Sindy_0311]

Were you exclusive or still dating other people? 

[Lexismith]

4 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Were you exclusive or still dating other people? 

We were exclusive 

[kim42]

You two don't seem to be compatible, sorry. For the future, try to talk about things in person, rather than sending long text messages and jumping to conclusions based on social media.

[Sindy_0311]

5 minutes ago, Lexismith said:

We were exclusive 

Since you both agreed to be exclusive and were faithful to one another, why do you have the feeling that he played you??

[Lexismith]

5 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Since you both agreed to be exclusive and were faithful to one another, why do you have the feeling that he played you??

The whole Valentine’s Day was cruel, and the fact that he posted flowers, and a card on his story was cruel, making it seem like he was with another girl, which probably he was

[Sindy_0311]

9 minutes ago, Lexismith said:

The whole Valentine’s Day was cruel, and the fact that he posted flowers, and a card on his story was cruel, making it seem like he was with another girl, which probably he was

You also posted weird stuff. In my opinion you shouldn’t post those kind of things when you are in a relationship with someone… if not to be cruel it’s seems to me that it was a way to gain his attention back to you. You played games too.
You don’t really know whether he was seeing another girl, but you should be able to feel those things. If something is off, trust your gut. A man who is really into you won’t take the risk to make you doubt about his faithfulness, but he did on Valentine’s Day. I suggest you leave him alone. Don’t contact him and start dating other people. Don’t overanalyze, you just weren’t good for each other. End of story. 

[yogacat]

1 hour ago, Lexismith said:

Anyways I posted a quote that said “I need to lay with my man when I get one” I didn’t apply to me but I thought it was funny so I posted it.

That was passive-aggressively directed at him. He probably felt attacked and disrespected by it. And then when he didn't respond to your text about being done, you passive-aggressively said "I guess you made your decision". After that, he probably felt like any further interaction would be unproductive and unnecessary, so he didn't respond. 

And what would have constituted an authentic response for you? Telling how he feels he doesn't really care or that the quote made him question the level of emotional depth you had regarding him? Yeah, he could have been clearer, but that quote sounds like you're not content and his interpretation is accurate.

[Lexismith]

27 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

You also posted weird stuff. In my opinion you shouldn’t post those kind of things when you are in a relationship with someone… if not to be cruel it’s seems to me that it was a way to gain his attention back to you. You played games too.
You don’t really know whether he was seeing another girl, but you should be able to feel those things. If something is off, trust your gut. A man who is really into you won’t take the risk to make you doubt about his faithfulness, but he did on Valentine’s Day. I suggest you leave him alone. Don’t contact him and start dating other people. Don’t overanalyze, you just weren’t good for each other. End of story. 

What was the purpose of him even coming back three days later ? He should have just stayed ghost.

[Capricorn3]

All I see is incompatibility.  Learn from this. Learn better communication. No game playing etc.  Be done with him and move on.

[Lexismith]

2 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

All I see is incompatibility.  Learn from this. Learn better communication. No game playing etc.  Be done with him and move on.

I knew this that’s why I kept trying to end it but I thought maybe u was overthinking. I called him during those texts and he sounded so cold and mean. I feel embarrassed that he got to see that vulnerable side of me also me being emotional. 

[Sindy_0311]

20 minutes ago, Lexismith said:

What was the purpose of him even coming back three days later ? He should have just stayed ghost.

This is what he said: I hope everything is good and if you don’t respond I get it I wish you the best I enjoyed the time we spent together.

IMO He basically apologized for not answering to you and let you know that he was ready to move on. He didn’t ask for more clarification or discussion. He just wished you well and thanked you for the good times… this was his goodbye text, he didn’t want to be rude by ghosting you but he neither wanted to discuss the relationship more. 

[Sindy_0311]

14 minutes ago, Lexismith said:

I knew this that’s why I kept trying to end it but I thought maybe u was overthinking. 

You should try to stop reading between the lines with men. They are way more basic than women think. We they do or say something, they actually mean it. 

[Lexismith]

6 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

This is what he said: I hope everything is good and if you don’t respond I get it I wish you the best I enjoyed the time we spent together.

IMO He basically apologized for not answering to you and let you know that he was ready to move on. He didn’t ask for more clarification or discussion. He just wished you well and thanked you for the good times… this was his goodbye text, he didn’t want to be rude by ghosting you but he neither wanted to discuss the relationship more. 

Harsh but yeah I get it. Do you think he’ll ever come back ? 

[Sindy_0311]

Just now, Lexismith said:

Harsh but yeah I get it. Do you think he’ll ever come back ? 

What I suggest you do now is you completely stop contact with him. Don’t you ever reach out to him again. Not even on social media, unfollow him, don’t let him see your posts and stories. You try to move on, meet new people, get busy, get healthy, take care of yourself and live your best life. He might reach out in a few weeks or month. If he does, respond, politely, but with reserve… if he never reaches out again, which might also happen, at least you began the process of detaching from him and you might even meet someone better for you. But imo in these situations, the best way is always no contact!! 

[Lexismith]

3 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

What I suggest you do now is you completely stop contact with him. Don’t you ever reach out to him again. Not even on social media, unfollow him, don’t let him see your posts and stories. You try to move on, meet new people, get busy, get healthy, take care of yourself and live your best life. He might reach out in a few weeks or month. If he does, respond, politely, but with reserve… if he never reaches out again, which might also happen, at least you began the process of detaching from him and you might even meet someone better for you. But imo in these situations, the best way is always no contact!! 

I haven’t contacted him. I already took him off my social media a week ago. We’ve been no contact for almost a week 

[Sindy_0311]

1 minute ago, Lexismith said:

I haven’t contacted him. I already took him off my social media a week ago. We’ve been no contact for almost a week 

That’s good. Just stick to this. And if you ever feel the urge to text him or call him, come back here and write down what you were about to text him. Or even ask one of your girlfriends, text her instead of your ex. 
it won’t be easy, because you are still having feelings, but it’s the best way to overcome this. 🙌🏻

[Lexismith]

5 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

That’s good. Just stick to this. And if you ever feel the urge to text him or call him, come back here and write down what you were about to text him. Or even ask one of your girlfriends, text her instead of your ex. 
it won’t be easy, because you are still having feelings, but it’s the best way to overcome this. 🙌🏻

Yes I know I’m a strong cookie. Me contacting him won’t happen lol I have a pretty big ego. I’m just kinda hurt because I tried to end it and I should have just listened to my gut.