I dont want this break up permanent

[Mansi Patel]

First of all please dont judge me because what i did was a mistake and it was not intentional and i take full responsibility. So now to the topic. Few days back i was at a party with my friends and we were drunk, and we played truth or dare. One of my stupid friend dared me to make out with a guy who i never met before so i was drunk and we were having fun so i didn't think much and i started making out with him and that was unintentional and worst mistake of my life. Someone got that on Snapchat and it went to my boyfriend and he instantly broke up and blocked me from everywhere. I dont want this to end like this. I admit my mistake and i love him so much. What should i do? Yes i cheated twice but even the first one was like this. It was just for fun and not intentional. How can i get him back he just wont listen to anything i say. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Mansi Patel said:

. Someone got that on Snapchat and it went to my boyfriend and he instantly broke up and blocked me from everywhere.  i cheated twice but even the first one was like this. It was just for fun and not intentional. How can i get him back he just wont listen to anything i say. 

Sorry this is happening but if he blocked you everywhere there's not much you can do to salvage the situation. 

How old is he? How long were you dating? Why wasn't he at the party with you?

It seems you're not cut out for an exclusive relationship if you keep making out with others.  Perhaps it's best to stay single and enjoy your freedom. 

[Mansi Patel]

21 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening but if he blocked you everywhere there's not much you can do to salvage the situation. 

How old is he? How long were you dating? Why wasn't he at the party with you?

It seems you're not cut out for an exclusive relationship if you keep making out with others.  Perhaps it's best to stay single and enjoy your freedom. 

We both are 26 and we were dating for almost 3 years now since our college together. There is not much i can do but everyone deserve a second chance and so do i. Everyone makes mistakes i am no exception. So why just leave me like that? 

[Batya33]

Once you cross that line there's no blaming the victim.  You chose to get drunk and chose the consequences -he is entitled to decide that trust is now broken and he doesn't want to risk getting hurt again.  In a romantic relationship no not everyone deserves a second chance -this is not a contract where you spell out what promises are made and what the consequences are.  These are his feelings, his emotions, his values. He's done.  I'm sorry.

You intended to get drunk, you then intend the consequences - you always have a choice. Had you been sexually assaulted I'd have had a very different opinion.  And if this is the second time I don't blame him.  I'm married to my ex fiancee.  I wouldn't be if cheating had been the reason we ended things the first time.

[Andrina]

If you're serious about not making major mistakes that will blow up your life, you will have to stop drinking because it obviously alters your mind so much that you do things you'd never do while sober.

There are fun things you can do with friends that don't involve drinking. Just because you might forgive a major drunken mistake by a partner, doesn't mean anybody else in your life will offer the same forgiveness.

I'd never forgive a man if he got drunk and made out with anybody but me.

A hard lesson to learn. You have no choice but to move on and make better decisions moving forward.

[Mansi Patel]

23 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Once you cross that line there's no blaming the victim.  You chose to get drunk and chose the consequences -he is entitled to decide that trust is now broken and he doesn't want to risk getting hurt again.  In a romantic relationship no not everyone deserves a second chance -this is not a contract where you spell out what promises are made and what the consequences are.  These are his feelings, his emotions, his values. He's done.  I'm sorry.

You intended to get drunk, you then intend the consequences - you always have a choice. Had you been sexually assaulted I'd have had a very different opinion.  And if this is the second time I don't blame him.  I'm married to my ex fiancee.  I wouldn't be if cheating had been the reason we ended things the first time.

I know what i did was wrong but i still want him back and i will never do it again. I can't simply end this 3 years relationship just like that. Please tell me how do i get back in this relationship. 

[Mansi Patel]

Just now, Andrina said:

If you're serious about not making major mistakes that will blow up your life, you will have to stop drinking because it obviously alters your mind so much that you do things you'd never do while sober.

There are fun things you can do with friends that don't involve drinking. Just because you might forgive a major drunken mistake by a partner, doesn't mean anybody else in your life will offer the same forgiveness.

I'd never forgive a man if he got drunk and made out with anybody but me.

A hard lesson to learn. You have no choice but to move on and make better decisions moving forward.

I admit this was one of the worst things i did but i just want another chance. I will never mess up again. 

[Mansi Patel]

There must be some psychological trick to get back to him again. I see these things on internet all the time. 

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Mansi Patel said:

There must be some psychological trick to get back to him again. I see these things on internet all the time. 

Yes most of those "get your ex back" sites are scams that prey on broken hearts and have horrible advice such as using no contact as a tool etc.

Unfortunately he has every right to end things after being betrayed. He also has a right to delete and block you and sever himself from the pain and heartache your drunken games caused him. 

Please respect the rights and feelings of others and reflect why you sabotage relationships. 

[Seraphim]

You don’t get to decide when he is done . You cheated and he is finished . You don’t own him. He is allowed to leave when he wants . 

[Cookie24]

1 hour ago, Mansi Patel said:

I know what i did was wrong but i still want him back and i will never do it again. I can't simply end this 3 years relationship just like that. Please tell me how do i get back in this relationship. 

It seems to me that you're mad that it's over and all the time and energy spent on the relationship went to a waste, rather than losing the person himself. 

I'd say face the consequences of your actions, and take this as an opportunity to learn and become a better girlfriend in the future. 

[MissCanuck]

2 hours ago, Mansi Patel said:

There is not much i can do but everyone deserve a second chance and so do i

Uh, no. That's not how life works. 

He is within his rights to dump you and move on, and does not owe you a second chance. 

1 hour ago, Mansi Patel said:

There must be some psychological trick to get back to him again.

Again, no. 

Time to be a Big Girl and own your bad choices. Leave him alone and learn from this. At 26, you are too old for this sort of behaviour. 

[smackie9]

You are going to have to suck it up and accept the consequences for your actions. And that means losing your relationship. You don't get a free pass this time.

[Mansi Patel]

I know i did wrong, you guys are just making me feel like ***. I did mistake what now? I am sorry. I didn't mean to. 

[boltnrun]

A mistake is something unintentional, like adding salt when you were supposed to use sugar.  What you did was not a "mistake". And you did this twice?  Nope, not a mistake.

Everyone does not "deserve" another chance.  

And no, there are no "psychological tricks" you can use to force your ex to come back to you.  If you love this guy why cheat on him twice and why would you want to "trick" him?

I would think long and hard about why you continue to cheat on someone you claim to love. Learn from this experience and vow to never cheat in your next relationship.

[catfeeder]

7 hours ago, Mansi Patel said:

Yes i cheated twice but even the first one was like this.

Oh, c'mOn.

[LotusBlack]

He already gave you a second chance as this is the second time you have cheated on him. 

OP, I’m sorry but I say this with respect - you are not emotionally mature enough at this stage to be in a committed, exclusive relationship because you are aware enough of yourself that you know you lack self control and the ability to make sound decisions when drunk, yet you keep putting yourself in the position of becoming vulnerable to making bad choices. If someone told you to do something against your moral values while drunk, such as break into someone’s house and steal their valuables, would you? If the answer is yes, then you need to choose not to drink. If the answer is no, then that tells you a lot about how committed you really are to your partner and relationship. If cheating is something that does not align with your values then  even drunk, you wouldn’t be making the choice to betray your partner. 

People here are not making you feel bad, they are offering you very real advice and answers you don’t want to hear. It is a hard truth, but you need to mature and take the consequences of your choices and actions. If someone murders another while they are drunk (such as drunk driving) the court doesn’t just say, “that’s okay, you can have a second chance because you were drunk.” No, your murder charge might result in a lesser degree/manslaughter and sentence but you still need to do the time. 

Please respect your ex’s feelings. Your choice was to drink and put yourself in a position that would lead to cheating, and his choice was to end the relationship as a consequence because you have shown him that the second chance he already gave you was not valued or respected. The age-old adage goes, “Fool me once, shame of you. Fool me twice, shame on me”. He made the right choice to end it. I expected to read that you were 18 not 26; you need to sit and really think about the lifestyle choices you are making at the moment.

Note: I once knew a man who did not drink alcohol. One day someone asked him if he was a recovering alcoholic. He said, “No. I don’t drink, because I never want to become one.” He was aware enough of himself at a very young age that he’d noticed he often downed glass after glass of normal (non-alcoholic) drinks without realising how much he’d consumed. He realised that that presented a very real potential to be dangerous if he was unable to keep track of alcoholic drinks. So at 18 he decided to never touch a drop in order to prevent himself from becoming an alcoholic or drunk and putting himself in a vulnerable position. Perhaps you should do the same.

[Seraphim]

47 minutes ago, Mansi Patel said:

I know i did wrong, you guys are just making me feel like ***. I did mistake what now? I am sorry. I didn't mean to. 

Cheating isn’t a “ mistake” it is an intentional decision. There are consequences in life . 

[Seraphim]

9 minutes ago, LotusBlack said:

He already gave you a second chance as this is the second time you have cheated on him. 

OP, I’m sorry but I say this with respect - you are not emotionally mature enough at this stage to be in a committed, exclusive relationship because you are aware enough of yourself that you know you lack self control and the ability to make sound decisions when drunk, yet you keep putting yourself in the position of becoming vulnerable to making bad choices. If someone told you to do something against your moral values while drunk, such as break into someone’s house and steal their valuables, would you? If the answer is yes, then you need to choose not to drink. If the answer is no, then that tells you a lot about how committed you really are to your partner and relationship. If cheating is something that does not align with your values then  even drunk, you wouldn’t be making the choice to betray your partner. 

People here are not making you feel bad, they are offering you very real advice and answers you don’t want to hear. It is a hard truth, but you need to mature and take the consequences of your choices and actions. If someone murders another while they are drunk (such as drunk driving) the court doesn’t just say, “that’s okay, you can have a second chance because you were drunk.” No, your murder charge might result in a lesser degree/manslaughter and sentence but you still need to do the time. 

Please respect your ex’s feelings. Your choice was to drink and put yourself in a position that would lead to cheating, and his choice was to end the relationship as a consequence because you have shown him that the second chance he already gave you was not valued or respected. The age-old adage goes, “Fool me once, shame of you. Fool me twice, shame on me”. He made the right choice to end it. I expected to read that you were 18 not 26; you need to sit and really think about the lifestyle choices you are making at the moment.

I agree, got your second chance and did the same thing again. He can’t trust you. No trust no relationship. 

[LootieTootie]

3 hours ago, Mansi Patel said:

I know i did wrong, you guys are just making me feel like ***. 

No, your poor decision is making you feel like ***. Own your decision and live with it. It will make you a better person and a better girlfriend. If you don't own it, you will never learn.

3 hours ago, Mansi Patel said:

 I did mistake what now? 

Respect his desires to remove you from his life.