Like...Really???

[Blacblach]

So this is my story:

To make it short, I dated this guy for about a year. Beginning, he was great and a perfect gentleman! He moved in after a few months with me and my preteen son. At first, everything was great but with time he behaved like a princess and acted like everything was due to him. He was also very insecure and would have outbursts of jealousy for nothing. Also, his financial situation was horrible. I had to help him out a lot. I sometimes felt like he was using me, especially by the end, which I called him out for. I also felt like he was pulling away. I stupidly stayed because I thought we shared a complicity but now I know I was holding on to a lot of resentment as I started to gain a lot of weight and couldn't lose it (crazy how the body responds). We ended up having a big argument (a rare one for us) and he left the next day. He only reached out a few days later to figure out when he can pick up his ***. He acted very cold but even though I was hurt, I responded calmly and packed everything for him, and made sure I wasn't there when he came. For the 2 weeks that followed, he was blowing up my phone for us to meet and talk with the typical I miss you and I love you. He ended up losing me, his job, and staying with his mom at the same time. I chose to move on because a man who behaves like this has no room in my life and decided to not give it a chance so I blocked him. 

Ever since I´ve been healing and moving on. We broke up during the summer (I know, how common) so I enjoyed myself by going out with my friends and just finding myself again. I also lost all the weight I´ve gained and took care of myself. Really, I was proud of myself because I also never reached out to him nor cared to know what was going on in his life. So overall, I did everything that they said to do during a breakup. 

But this is the thing:

Last week, a close friend of mine shared that he´s been posting on social media with another woman. It´s basically him and her going out to dinner and taking cute pics together. I saw the pics and not to be mean but he looks like *** and I was shocked by his facial expression: the like sucked out of him. I´m not going to talk about the girl bc I don't want to be mean but...

And I don´t know why but this doesn´t sit right with me. From my friend´s investigation, they started to date not even 2 months after we broke up and half of my friends still follow him on social. I haven't reacted nor cared to reach out but what´s bothering me is that I feel like he´s using this as a way to get back at me. I´m also wondering if he was monkey-branching before we broke up as it happened pretty fast.

I´m just curious to get an opinion on this. Also, apart from continuing to heal and live my life, is there anything I could do to get back at him? (yes, I´m being petty)

 

 

 

[boltnrun]

Why would he be dating someone to get back at you? How would he even know you know?

And why on earth would you want him back? Is it your ego?

[Blacblach]

Because it´s only been 2 months and the fact that he´s been flashing his new relationship all over social. He would know that I know as half my friends still follow him. 

Also, I just edited my post lol I definitely don't want him back and yes it´s clearly ego-talking. 

[Wiseman2]

10 minutes ago, Blacblach said:

 He moved in after a few months with me and my preteen son. Last week, a close friend of mine shared that he´s been posting on social media with another woman. 

Sorry this happened. Too much too soon. Why did he move in after just a few months dating? Was he homeless or unemployed before you started dating? 

Please continue to take care of yourself and your son as well as your physical and mental health. Please delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps and ask your friends to cease "updating you. 

Basically rather than seek revenge, jump for joy that you are rid of this parasite. 

[Blacblach]

Thanks, @Wiseman2 for your kind words.

He moved in because he was living with his friend and due to his credit ( found out only when he moved in) he wasn't able to afford a place of his own. Also, he lost his job only because it was a temp contract that ended at the same time as our relationship. 

I will take into account your advice 🙏 out of sight, out of mind right?

[boltnrun]

None of what you've described about him sounds the slightest bit attractive. It's puzzling why you would even consider trying to get him back. Ego or no ego.  

And don't waste your time trying to hurt him either. Be a better person and just live your life.

[Kwothe28]

38 minutes ago, Blacblach said:

I´m also wondering if he was monkey-branching before we broke up as it happened pretty fast.

Could be. Though 2 months is plenty of time to meet somebody else.

38 minutes ago, Blacblach said:

Also, apart from continuing to heal and live my life, is there anything I could do to get back at him? (yes, I´m being petty)

The best revenge you could have is building a better life for yourself. You lost weight, find a new boyfriend, live your best life. Dont be petty and concerned about somebody who didnt treat you well and left.

[Blacblach]

@boltnrun I totally understand where you are coming from and for sure what I´m describing is not appealing. Trust me, I had a phase when I hated myself for allowing him to come into my life. I guess all of this is coming from the pain that has turned into anger: From leaving the way he did to now flaunting his new relationship. He´s basically putting salt into the wound.

[Blacblach]

@Kwothe28 thanks for responding.

I just find it strange though after 2months. And, I´m estimating 2 months but could have been way before. I mean, it´s one thing to just meet something but to be in a fully committed relationship already? Also, seeing from the pics, he doesn't look that happy. 

Anyways, for sure I need to continue to focus on me and continue to level up but a part of me is so angry at him. 

[boltnrun]

Would you prefer he ask you to reconcile?

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Blacblach said:

 it´s only been 2 months and the fact that he´s been flashing his new relationship all over social. 

Keep in mind, just like a tick, a parasite jumps from host to host for it's free meals. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 

[Capricorn3]

The sweetest revenge is living a good life, with dignity.  No need to get all petty - all that shows is immaturity and reflects badly on you.

[Batya33]

I'd also put to the side that he is "flaunting" anything -his social media his choice what he wishes to post, your friends' choices to continue following him.  

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

I'd also put to the side that he is "flaunting" anything -his social media his choice what he wishes to post, your friends' choices to continue following him.  

And your so-called friends choice to run to you, breathlessly reporting everything he's doing. Some friends! With those people for friends who needs enemies! Tell them to take their drama elsewhere.

[tattoobunnie]

19 hours ago, Blacblach said:

is there anything I could do to get back at him? (yes, I´m being petty)

He needed a new place to live.  It doesn't matter what he does.  He is a straight up loser.  

[DariaM239]

Hi! So it definitely sucks that he really used you for the most part. He clearly is a loser, piece of well you know... but yeah I get the need for wanting to act petty, I probably would want to too, but the best thing you can do is just continue living your life and just focus on yourself. Eventually you'll not even think about that bum and feel dumb for even wanting to get back at him. 

[waffle]

Ask yourself instead why you thought it would be a good idea to move someone in that you barely knew and exposed him to your young son.

[Jaunty]

Also ask yourself why you have the type of friends who enjoy reporting useless information that is upsetting to you.  Who does that.