Odd Response

[jul-els]

Hello. I recently hired a matchmaking service and I’ve met three people so far. This last one I met for coffee and really liked her energy and she said she was interested in me too and agreed to go have dinner in a couple days. Great.

So I took her to dinner last night at a nice place. Dinner was good, conversation was good and afterwards we walked to a bar where she hangs out and we had a few drinks and sang karaoke with her friends. I had a good time and she said she did too. 
 
I dropped her off at the end of the evening and we had a hug and a peck on the lips and said we’d go out again. She told me to text her when I got home.

So I did. I texted, “Hi Jane, I’m home. Thank you again for a really fun night. Talk tomorrow.”

She replied, “Cool”.

Huh? Is it just me, or is that a weird response? I expected something along the lines of, “Thank you I had a good time too” or something to that effect. 

To be honest, I was turned off by it. I’m rethinking asking her out again and maybe I just want to next her and move on. 

[Seraphim]

I think her response was ok, pretty typical for today’s society . 

[Kwothe28]

Yeah, "I had a good time" is a standard polite response even if they dont like you very much. Just saying "Cool" sounds like she is mad about something. Which I dont say she really is but just that, yes, its a weird response. I always got at least "good time" response even if second date wasnt on the horizon. So I would also view it as turn off when the person doesnt even want to pretend to be polite but acts like an uninterested teen(which I assume she is not).

[Lambert]

maybe she just looked at it as, cool you got home. or she was busy but wanted to be sure to respond. 

I would be aware of it,  as something I don't like but if everything else is good, you might be being to judgmental 

[jul-els]

46 minutes ago, Lambert said:

maybe she just looked at it as, cool you got home. or she was busy but wanted to be sure to respond. 

I would be aware of it,  as something I don't like but if everything else is good, you might be being to judgmental 

Well there was a couple of other times she didn’t respond to my text either. Just no response.

And I called her midday before our date to confirm for that evening, and she waited until 30 minutes before the date to text me the address. It takes me 30 minutes to get to her house, and I was showered and got myself ready to go out the door, except I couldn’t go. No address. So I texted her at the time when I should be leaving and she literally texted me at the exact same time with the address. Our texts both went through at the same time. For context, we’re not teenagers. I’m 56 and she’s 51.

It just seems odd to me. Like interested, but not really. Meh. 
 

[smackie9]

She hardly knows you. She is being a little reserved as to not lead anyone on. Basically it's her way of saying slow down it was just a first date. And remember you need to assume she is dating others and that you are an option. Just the way it is with dating these days. 

[jul-els]

Slow down with what? We went on a date. No grand proclamations or sweeping gestures. Just a nice date and an agreement to do it again. I hardly see that as rushing. 

[rainbowsandroses]

Generally speaking, it's best to not make judgments about how people respond to messages (or anything really) based on how YOU would respond. 

We are all individuals with our own style, there is no one "right" way.

That said, if it turned you off, so be.   Stop seeing her.

We don't need a reason or to justify why something turns us off.  I've been turned off by things others would consider trivial and inconsequential.

So what, they're not dating them, I am.

On the other hand, if there is even a small spark of interest left, have another date.  

You never know!

 

 

[Sindy_0311]

1 hour ago, jul-els said:

“Hi Jane, I’m home. Thank you again for a really fun night. Talk tomorrow.”

I think she replied "cool" to the " Talk tomorrow"

Also, it was just a first meet, guys would say they had a good time after the date but not have any intention to see the woman again. So she replies "cool" as a way to see whether there will be something more after that first meet... 

Why did you say you would talk tomorrow? Talk about what? 

[jul-els]

21 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

I think she replied "cool" to the " Talk tomorrow"

Also, it was just a first meet, guys would say they had a good time after the date but not have any intention to see the woman again. So she replies "cool" as a way to see whether there will be something more after that first meet... 

Why did you say you would talk tomorrow? Talk about what? 

Just talk. Not about anything specific. Her texting style just strikes me as odd. Not sure if I’m feeling it. Is what it is.

[Lambert]

maybe you should use this as an opportunity to follow your gut/ own opinion.  If she isn't doing it for you, dump her.  who cares if we or anyone think it's odd. 

you can dump anyone for any reason. it's up to you

[tattoobunnie]

2 hours ago, jul-els said:

Hello. I recently hired a matchmaking service and I’ve met three people so far. This last one I met for coffee and really liked her energy and she said she was interested in me too and agreed to go have dinner in a couple days. Great.

So I took her to dinner last night at a nice place. Dinner was good, conversation was good and afterwards we walked to a bar where she hangs out and we had a few drinks and sang karaoke with her friends. I had a good time and she said she did too. 
 
I dropped her off at the end of the evening and we had a hug and a peck on the lips and said we’d go out again. She told me to text her when I got home.

So I did. I texted, “Hi Jane, I’m home. Thank you again for a really fun night. Talk tomorrow.”

She replied, “Cool”.

Huh? Is it just me, or is that a weird response? I expected something along the lines of, “Thank you I had a good time too” or something to that effect. 

To be honest, I was turned off by it. I’m rethinking asking her out again and maybe I just want to next her and move on. 

I say, "cool," when I am super stoked, but don't wanna come off as weird.  I literally just type, "Cool" and nothing else.  I think you should take a few deep breaths, and not over analyze it.  

[Sindy_0311]

Is it only about that "cool" response or is there something else that bothers you? Because I find somehow disproportionate... 

[Batya33]

I wouldn't like it either in this situation. I had a first meet yesterday with an online -female!  -friend.  Great time.  After we parted ways I was thinking of texting her to follow up, thanks, lovely meeting you -she beat me to it.  I was busily walking back from an errand but I stopped to respond "I was just thinking the same!!".  Of course -especially with someone I just enjoyed time with -I would provide an enthusiastic response.  And the talk tomorrow as far as "cool" makes no sense unless it's talk tomorrow about a business situation. 

[jul-els]

29 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Is it only about that "cool" response or is there something else that bothers you? Because I find somehow disproportionate... 

Just the vibe I’m getting. Not sure if I’m feeling it. On the fence.

[shouldhavelearned]

You could have called her and talked for a few minutes instead of texting.

 

As others have said she was playing it cool and didn't want to put to much out there so soon.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, jul-els said:

 I texted, “Hi Jane, I’m home. Thank you again for a really fun night. Talk tomorrow.”

She replied, “Cool”.

Try to pay more attention to the in person situation, which seems to have gone quite well.  You said you'd talk tomorrow so see how that goes.

[Cherylyn]

Try not to overthink.  Texting can be cryptic.  In person conversations are best,  second best are phone conversations and then it can get dicey with emails,  messages and texts if not worded precisely so there is no room for misinterpretation whatsoever.  It's an adept skill. 

If you had a great time with her,  don't give up on her yet.  Get a concrete answer regarding meeting next and then have in person conversations so there aren't any misunderstandings. 

[Sindy_0311]

Did you talk to her today? Like you said you would do? 

[jul-els]

1 hour ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Did you talk to her today? Like you said you would do? 

I texted her today. I’ll see if/how she responds. Feeling kinda meh about it. I’ll probably just let it go. 

[jul-els]

3 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I wouldn't like it either in this situation. I had a first meet yesterday with an online -female!  -friend.  Great time.  After we parted ways I was thinking of texting her to follow up, thanks, lovely meeting you -she beat me to it.  I was busily walking back from an errand but I stopped to respond "I was just thinking the same!!".  Of course -especially with someone I just enjoyed time with -I would provide an enthusiastic response.  And the talk tomorrow as far as "cool" makes no sense unless it's talk tomorrow about a business situation. 

Yeah, pretty much how I feel about it. It’s kinda odd. Feels kinda off-putting, which isn’t right or wrong, just how I feel. 

[Kwothe28]

10 hours ago, jul-els said:

I texted her today. I’ll see if/how she responds. Feeling kinda meh about it. I’ll probably just let it go. 

There is nothing wrong in letting it go. Besides, from her other texts she doesnt seem very interested in you. Taking too long to answer even though they probably have a phone right beside them isnt really a good sign. When they are interested they will answer in timely manner. When they are not, you will get what you are getting now. Taking too long to answer, one note answers etc. Its something to be observed at the starting stage.

[Guest]

I don't think it's necessarily something you should be concerned about yet. Wait a couple days and see how the conversation goes. 

Had you texted much before your date? Maybe it's kind of her style.

OR you could be totally right and she is being short.

But I wouldn't assume that yet considering you guys had a good date.

[MrMan1983]

Sounds like she's a bit 'meh' by her response (which has made you feel 'meh') however maybe just not much of a texter, she isn't that 18 to 35 sort of age group that are usually obsessed with texting either. I personally would of waited a few days then suggested another date without any expectation to gauge the response then not a lot lost if it's a no and bonus if she is still interested.