Ex Bf Threatened to Report me to the police

[LoveSiiick]

Hi, All,

Today marks one week of seeing my ex for the last time. Our relationship was toxic we both were used to different things. We couldn’t compromise with one another. I brought out the worst in him. I begged and pleaded for months I forced him to talk and meet me. He agreed because he was lonely. And we talked about how we forgave each other and that we aren’t compatible. I guess he lied to me…..on monday we met up and ended up giving each other oral and then we walked at a nice park. He was thankful for showing him he liked the park. Unfortunately, once we got to the restaurant things went down hill. He ordered something that I liked to show some respect for me. We split the entree because he had restaurant credit. However, he asked if I had cash on me. I didn’t have cash on me I had deposited all the cash I had earlier that day. He started getting frustrated at me and demand that I tip I was angry at him for demanding me to tip and he cussed me out saying how throughout our relationship I was a terrible cheap person. I told him the plan was to get starbucks later we always got starbucks after dinner. I was gonna treat him out he refused and kicked me out of the car. I was devestated, he blocked my number I sent him tons of messages on whatsapp he blocked me then I created fake emails begging and pleading for us to talk about what happened. I was willing to send him $20 bucks for him to eat lunch tomorrow after work. Instead he told me if I ever contact him he will press charges for harassment. He has done this before, I’ve given him money and sex for him to not report me. I am just devastated how he would lie about moving on with everything that happened. I don’t understand what I did wrong except not tipping. Tomorrow marks a week of NC. I’m hurting and I wish I could talk to him again.

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, LoveSiiick said:

. He has done this before, I’ve given him money and sex for him to not report me. 

Sorry this happened. You're aware it's a toxic abusive relationship.

The best thing do is stay far away and delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Talk to trusted friends and family. Read up on abusive relationships.

 

[Cherylyn]

Don't talk to him anymore.  Block and delete him.  Do the same for your social media (FB, IG, etc).

In your mind, say,  "Good riddance!"

Dump the chump.

[Coily]

26 minutes ago, LoveSiiick said:

"I begged and pleaded for months I forced him to talk and meet me."

I was devestated, he blocked my number I sent him tons of messages on whatsapp he blocked me then I created fake emails begging and pleading for us to talk about what happened. I was willing to send him $20 bucks for him to eat lunch tomorrow after work. Instead he told me if I ever contact him he will press charges for harassment. He has done this before, I’ve given him money and sex for him to not report me. I am just devastated how he would lie about moving on with everything that happened. I don’t understand what I did wrong except not tipping. Tomorrow marks a week of NC. I’m hurting and I wish I could talk to him again.

You both are toxic in this situation. You both use each other and that's not good.

Him blowing up for you not tipping is stupid, immature, and just an easy out. Also essentially blackmailing you for sex and money speaks of his boorish behavior.

The elephant in the room that is being ignored is how you have been harassing him via text and FAKE email accounts.  WHAT are you doing? This is not healthy behavior, and it shows a lack of self respect. He was looking for an out after the sexual activity, and found one. You blew this up into harassment, this should have all been on him for being a manipulative ***; but you too crossed the line.

You need to work on getting him out of your mind, and also on not harassing someone.

 

 

[LoveSiiick]

11 minutes ago, Coily said:

You both are toxic in this situation. You both use each other and that's not good.

Him blowing up for you not tipping is stupid, immature, and just an easy out. Also essentially blackmailing you for sex and money speaks of his boorish behavior.

The elephant in the room that is being ignored is how you have been harassing him via text and FAKE email accounts.  WHAT are you doing? This is not healthy behavior, and it shows a lack of self respect. He was looking for an out after the sexual activity, and found one. You blew this up into harassment, this should have all been on him for being a manipulative ***; but you too crossed the line.

You need to work on getting him out of your mind, and also on not harassing someone.

 

 

You’re right but I can’t help but be sad. I want to apologize so bad one last time. My friends tell me I should hate him but I won’t or can’t.

[LoveSiiick]

28 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

Don't talk to him anymore.  Block and delete him.  Do the same for your social media (FB, IG, etc).

In your mind, say,  "Good riddance!"

Dump the chump.

I already blocked him and deleted his number I’m just not feeling well mentally. Like I wish he would apologize to me. I’ve apologized so many times. He has never said apologized to me for mistreating me. He told me to k*ll myself and he would ruin my life. 

[Seraphim]

Leave him alone unless you want charges laid against you and sitting in a jail cell. You both need help for immaturity and instability. 

[Cherylyn]

46 minutes ago, LoveSiiick said:

I already blocked him and deleted his number I’m just not feeling well mentally. Like I wish he would apologize to me. I’ve apologized so many times. He has never said apologized to me for mistreating me. He told me to k*ll myself and he would ruin my life. 

If there's one thing I've since learned the very hard way,  it's this:  Never expect an apology from anyone because it's like pulling teeth.  Most impossible if not impossible.  It doesn't matter if you've apologized many times.  People who don't apologize are either in full on denial mode,  always will profess their innocence,  will gaslight you by accusing you of being the crazy one,  tell you that you're a liar or threaten you in any capacity.  Threats include calling the police,  snitching,  gossiping,  deceiving,  betraying,  alienating you, building allies against you,  punishing you in any creative way, all of it or any of it.  Or, if you leave evidence of an electronic trail (text, voicemails, messages, emails), it can be easily forwarded, copied, pasted, etc.  Don't comment on social media (FB).  It's nothing I hadn't been through before.  I'm telling you,  the best thing to do is to steer clear of the nut jobs because they're a dangerous lot and they'll ultimately make your life more miserable than it already is.  Often times, they will make good on their threats if you continue testing them repeatedly.  Stop pushing to see how far you can go before it really backfires and then you'll be sorry that you didn't heed by getting out while you can.  Get away from crazy people before you regret not doing it sooner.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, LoveSiiick said:

 . I was gonna treat him out he refused and kicked me out of the car

How long were you dating? Is this the same man as the one you met on Reddit who left you stranded somewhere on the first date? The abuse seems quite similar.

[MissCanuck]

Both of you sound unstable, OP. 

You need to stop all contact with him forever. Instead, contact a professional therapist. You lack impulse control and need help getting yourself out of the emotional hurricane. 

 

[LootieTootie]

Oh girl, I hate to tell you but him calling the cops on you should be the least of your worries. Your biggest problem is that you have no standards at all. When you have no standards, the only guys you will get are the lowest of the low, like the scraping of the pot low.

Work on loving yourself first. Self-care and date yourself before you let a man enter your life. My other advice is that you look into therapy to work on your internal issues.

[Kwothe28]

7 hours ago, LoveSiiick said:

He has done this before, I’ve given him money and sex for him to not report me.

You do know that is blackmail? And that depending on a country its punishable by law?

Why even agreeing to such conditions? Are you that desperate to see him and have sex? Yes, it is highly toxic from both sides. And you should be glad its over.

[LoveSiiick]

8 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long were you dating? Is this the same man as the one you met on Reddit who left you stranded somewhere on the first date? The abuse seems quite similar.

No, this is someone totally different we met on a dating app. We dated for 4-5 months. 

[LoveSiiick]

7 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Both of you sound unstable, OP. 

You need to stop all contact with him forever. Instead, contact a professional therapist. You lack impulse control and need help getting yourself out of the emotional hurricane. 

 

I have been in therapy, but it’s not working for me since I’m still thinking of him. I’m just hurt a lot because I tried to be more giving for him I wanted him to see I didn’t want to be toxic anymore. But now it’s like he’s the one who brings out fights instead of me. He told me in my face that he told his roomate I was a b*tch while we were having a normal conversation. I don’t understand. I feel he will hate me forever. 

[Seraphim]

52 minutes ago, LoveSiiick said:

I have been in therapy, but it’s not working for me since I’m still thinking of him. I’m just hurt a lot because I tried to be more giving for him I wanted him to see I didn’t want to be toxic anymore. But now it’s like he’s the one who brings out fights instead of me. He told me in my face that he told his roomate I was a b*tch while we were having a normal conversation. I don’t understand. I feel he will hate me forever. 

It isn’t working because you aren’t giving it a chance . 

[Batya33]

13 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

It isn’t working because you aren’t giving it a chance . 

Also therapy doesn’t mean you won’t have the thoughts or feelings.  You’ll just learn how to deal with them more effectively. 

[boltnrun]

What exactly do you expect from therapy? Do you think the therapist is supposed to "make" you not want this toxic relationship anymore with zero effort on your part?

[smackie9]

Snap out of it! The guy treated you like garbage. He manipulated you to no end making you feel you were the problem when it was him being the problem all along. Break the cycle of abuse and cut off all contact with him. And don't let him hoover you back with love bombing. It's a trap, run for the hills.

[MissCanuck]

18 hours ago, LoveSiiick said:

I have been in therapy, but it’s not working for me since I’m still thinking of him. 

How do you expect therapy to work if you were still seeing him up until a week ago?

It won't be effective if you're not willing to do the work. Simple as that. 

[Wiseman2]

18 hours ago, LoveSiiick said:

No, this is someone totally different we met on a dating app. We dated for 4-5 months. 

Unfortunately there's a similar pattern of frantically trying to stay with men who you're unhappy with and cause problems for you. Once therapy gets underway, you can address abandonment issues, self-defeating thoughts and behaviors and help stabilizing emotions.

If you have crying jags and other hard to control emotions, it would be a good idea to see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health and get some tests done.

[SherrySher]

Please, please love yourself more than to allow this man to treat you this way. 🥺

You had a miscommunication on payment for dinner and then Starbucks, and that's totally okay.

But instead of working things out, he punished you, treated you so badly, swore at you, blocked you, blamed you, then threated you by saying he would call the police.

This man is not good for you. He is extremely toxic.

He has a very bad temper, and he is mentally and verbally abusive.

I know you wished he was the right one for you, and you want a happy relationship, but this is not the man and will never, ever be the man.

You need to save yourself from more pain from this man, and save yourself from more humiliation from this man.

Accept that he will never love you like you want him to. He will never be heathy for you, and that you need to let him go completely in order to save your self esteem and your heart.

I know it hurts badly right now, but it won't hurt forever.

You can survive this, and become stronger and wiser.

Please put yourself first and focus on making sure that this man can never, ever contact you again, or hurt you ever again.

[SherrySher]

On 4/10/2023 at 5:15 PM, LoveSiiick said:

I already blocked him and deleted his number I’m just not feeling well mentally. Like I wish he would apologize to me. I’ve apologized so many times. He has never said apologized to me for mistreating me. He told me to k*ll myself and he would ruin my life. 

You are suffering from low self esteem and low self worth...it's why you're feeling so bad and why you are not accepting that he doesn't want to hear from you anymore.

You are struggling with anxiety and with difficulties on dealing with loss and letting go.

It's okay to get help with all of the above through either a counsellor, therapist, or any kind of mental health source you can find that will help you work on the issues above.

You are allowing someone to treat you terribly and instead of walking away, you are becoming obsessive, blaming yourself and refusing to see how toxic this guy is for you.

Maybe you blame yourself entirely and feel like you deserve to be treated like you were.

All of it goes right back to the issues above with self esteem and self worth.

It can get better with help and with working on yourself so that you don't keep going through the same mistakes and pain next time around.

You need to stop saying sorry to him, and start saying sorry to yourself for letting yourself be treated so badly.

Accept that it is over with this guy, no further contact at all....promise yourself!!