PLEASE READ!! I caught my GF

[Bladefury123]

So my partner was acting strange after a night out. I sussed out something was up, after a week she finally admitted she met another man on a night out and she enjoyed how he made her feel, special and was showing her *** loads of attention! She then went on to tell me how she doesn’t know how she feels about me anymore! 
 

week later I catch her messaging the man while sitting next to me, I ask her to stop and bloke him, she swears they were friends and just talking. I know this isn’t the case from what the previous experience is! I ask her to block him and not speak to him and she said ok fine. And went along with it and told me she has.  
 

week after this, she comes home tipsy from being out drinking, catch her messaging the man again, while sitting next to me. This time she is refusing to stop messaging him and went on to tell me how she likes him and doesn’t know how she feels about him, she told me that she not to sure about us anymore and people grow apart and somethings ain’t meant to be! 
 

I bring this up and the morning and she couldn’t even remember From the drink! Being all apologetic to me! 
 

this Saturday night. She went out clubbing, I stayed home, gone 3oClock in the morning and still not home and haven’t heard nothing, no reply’s to text or anything! My friend has seen her parked up in a secluded car park with this man, just them to! He rings me to warn me, I wait a hour to see if she gets a lift home. As I watch out the window I see the car pass the house and pull up down the road. I waited and waited to see what was up, they sat for another half hour. Obvs my partner didn’t realise I was up waiting so I’m the end I went out and up to car to find her with the man, I didn’t see anything happening but the doors was locked and he sped off and then dropped her down the road! 
 

she swears blind to me that she hasn’t cheated on me. We have been together 8 years and never had an issue like this before. But what is playing on my mind is. She was obvs messaging him behind my back loads the whole time and she knows his intentions and she still speak to him and get in his car. Does she have the same intention as him do you think? Is it only a matter of time before she does cheat? 
 

should I forgive or get rid now and save myself the disloyalty 

[Wiseman2]

49 minutes ago, Bladefury123 said:

So my partner was acting strange after a night out. 
A week after this, she comes home tipsy from being out drinking.  she couldn’t even remember From the drink.this Saturday night. She went out clubbing 

Unfortunately your GF seems a bit confused  boundaries. Do you two usually go out separately? She seems checked out of the relationship as well as seems to have a drinking problem.

[MissCanuck]

Your relationship is already over, for all intents and purposes. 

There's no point forgiving when she clearly doesn't want to be there anymore. It's time to break up and be done with this. 

[poorlittlefish]

She is blatantly cheating, OP.  Something happened with that guy the first night, she's been messaging him ever since and most likely it was he she was going to meet at the nightclub.  She is literally messing about with another man right in front of your face and you're asking whether you should forgive her?  The simple answer is NO!  She is seeing where things go with this other guy, while keeping you in the background and in your shoes, I would have ended the relationship as she cannot be trusted.

[Kwothe28]

Yeah, I think not only she did cheat, but she did so before. Cheaters are a habitual beings. Hence why the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater". They always have some excuse to justify their bad behavior. For example, her excuse is that she has to try with the other guy because she feels you arent working anymore and owes herself to find something better. Which on the end of the day is just that. An excuse. She knows what she is doing is wrong. Just doesnt care that she is hurting you and "eases up" her concience in that way. 

Frankly, you should have left her the moment she said how she doesnt know how she feels about you because some other guy showed her affection. Let her explore what she wants, but without an option to come back after. Same with now. Dump her and dont ever let her into your life again. 

Also I am sorry but her whole pattern of behavior is concerning. Heavy drinking without even remembering what she said(or just lying to save face), allowing random men to approach her, messeging them and even going out alone with them. If you want faithful and loyal partner, stay away in future from this kind of women.

[Coily]

This woman is jerking you around, and blatantly lying to you. If she hasn't cheated yet, she has all the signs that she would; and have zero regret about it. Do yourself a favor and end the relationship.

[Lambert]

Sadly, when the respect is gone the relationship really can't survive. She lied right to your face and told you flat out she is unsure. 

You can either tolerate this behavior or not.  Those are the only choices. You cannot change her behavior. Her behavior is her choice.

Sorry but I'd dump her. Shame on her after 8 years, this is how she chose to be.

[happyfrank]

GF is in love with the other man.  The best thing you can do is let her go. 

 

 

[boltnrun]

By chance do you pay for most of the expenses such as rent, utilities, etc.?

[lostandhurt]

Exactly what does she need to do before you realize she is cheating on you? 

Cheating doesn't require penetration you know...

Dump here today

Lost

[greendots]

I don't want to assume what she might have or might not have done. So let's just look at the evidence.

23 hours ago, Bladefury123 said:

she met another man on a night out

23 hours ago, Bladefury123 said:

she comes home tipsy from being out drinking

23 hours ago, Bladefury123 said:

this Saturday night. She went out clubbing, I stayed home, gone 3oClock in the morning and still not home

• She often goes out drinking till late without you.
• She seems to be drinking quite a lot. That's how it comes across in that first post.
• Has already admitted to you that she likes the man she met.
• Has also admitted to you that she isn't sure about the relationship anymore.

It seems that she's no longer that interested in you or the relationship. Has she ever broken-up with someone before? Did she generally drink copious amount of alcohol and often went out till late without you? Or are those behaviours recent?

I'm asking as some people avoid facing breaking-up and hope the other person will broach the subject. I genuinely feel you need to communicate about where you guys are when she's sober. Sorry to hear you're going through all of this.

 

[sislee20]

HI there

  This may up set some people but so be it. What your girlfriend has done is consider cheating. Cheating doesnt have to be sex, kissing ect.... She broke trust and boundaries that truely build a relationship and once those are gone so is the relationship. And i am sorry you are going through this and should not be. She should be grown woman and be by her self until she knows what she wants in life rather then drag peoples heart around. Wish you the best