Suggestions on Finding New Hobbies

[Alex39]

1 hour ago, til I get it right said:

Hi, Alex. I'm in the same situation. I looked on MeetUp, but there were slim pickings. I'm looking forward to reading more suggestions. Thanks for posting this. I think many of us are in the same situation.

I found meetup to be a lot of retired people. Not young people. 

[boltnrun]

As @catfeedersaid, you shoot down each and every suggestion with some excuse or another. To me it reads like you want to be able to go back to your therapist and tell him or her that taking up a new hobby isn't possible.

Sure, sitting at home alone on the couch with your cat watching TV is comfortable and risk free. But is that how you want to spend the next 55 plus years?

BTW, I did cheer for 12 years (and also suffered a major injury). Our coaches didn't do any jumps or demonstrate the moves. They verbally instructed and had the captain of the squad demonstrate the moves. Also, didn't your mom discourage you from taking that cheer instructor job? And didn't you talk yourself out of it with somewhat minor complaints about the position? If you were capable of coaching a few months ago you are capable now. 

As my signature line says, do or do not. There is no "try". You either want to get out there or you don't. If it's important you'll find a way, if it's not you'll find an excuse. 

[Alex39]

10 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

As @catfeedersaid, you shoot down each and every suggestion with some excuse or another. To me it reads like you want to be able to go back to your therapist and tell him or her that taking up a new hobby isn't possible.

Sure, sitting at home alone on the couch with your cat watching TV is comfortable and risk free. But is that how you want to spend the next 55 plus years?

BTW, I did cheer for 12 years (and also suffered a major injury). Our coaches didn't do any jumps or demonstrate the moves. They verbally instructed and had the captain of the squad demonstrate the moves. Also, didn't your mom discourage you from taking that cheer instructor job? And didn't you talk yourself out of it with somewhat minor complaints about the position? If you were capable of coaching a few months ago you are capable now. 

As my signature line says, do or do not. There is no "try". You either want to get out there or you don't. If it's important you'll find a way, if it's not you'll find an excuse. 

I didn't take the cheer job because it was more physical and demonstrating and it was ill advised by my doctor. I also didn't like how the gym was going about the hiring process. 

[boltnrun]

1 minute ago, Alex39 said:

I didn't take the cheer job because it was more physical and demonstrating and it was ill advised by my doctor. I also didn't like how the gym was going about the hiring process. 

Do you legit want to find new hobbies? Or do you want to find excuses not to have new hobbies?

[Jaunty]

17 hours ago, Alex39 said:

I like walking. I guess I don't like it alone and I'm also wanting to meet new friends. I feel overwhelmed and like nothing is calling to me and letting me meet new people. 

Most cities have groups for walking /hiking.  I just Googles to check out where I live and there are a whole bunch of them.  Some are Meetups.  

You might check out the Audubon Society.  Birding can be very captivating, there are lots of places to go either on your own or in groups.  There are weekends and even big trips if you get into it at that level.  

You can take a cooking class for a type of food that you don't already know how to cook.

I've been in a writers' group before and made friends that have been with me for decades there.  

Also, mentioned already, community theatre.  There are many different aspects of it besides the acting pieces:  Sets, costumes, house, lights, sound.  

 

You probably will need to just force yourself to do something; it seems like you're already on track somewhat to excuse yourself from doing anything. 

[left due to request]

@Alex39 are you currently employed?  Just curious since 'time' wasn't one of the reasons why you couldn't do particular activity. (or maybe I missed it)  If not, how about a full time or part-time work that requires some physical activities?  Stocking shelves, deliveries etc

[Cherylyn]

I don't find hobbies to be mindless nor a waste of money.  To me, it's an initial investment.  Some of my projects are gifts for others and recipients enjoy and appreciate my handmade gifts for many years to come.  Or, I make things for my house and for myself. 

I've always loved making things with my hands ever since I was a little girl.  My favorite subject of the week was art time at school.  I lived for it. 

I'm the artistic type and I love creating gifts with my own style to them. 

There are community classes which inexpensive or various community clubs which organize their own hobby groups and subgroups. 

It's never mindless.  Creating something requires concentration and knowing what you're doing in order to get it right.  To me, it's a real self confidence booster and I love receiving compliments on my work.  I don't know if it's a talent or a gift but I was always artistic ever since I was a small child.  My mother saved my drawings and illustrations from when I was 3 years old and even back then, art was my forte.  She saved all of my prized artwork throughout my school years.  I sketched portraits of my siblings when they were small children. 

I've known a lot of people who've started from the beginning and they gradually honed their crafty, artsy or hobby skills.  Some people are into it and others aren't which is fine.  Different strokes for different folks! 

I reside near an ice skating rink and I want to resume ice skating again.  Ideas are limitless. 

[1a1a]

Pickle ball is fun 😄

Meet up in my area looks like that too, all older people. 
 

I found a hiking group on facebook, went for one hike, really really enjoyed it. There were about 30 people ranging from uni student to middle aged. If I wanted to I could walk in silence. Over the course of the hike I ended up having incidental conversations with quite a few people. The easy companionship was really pleasant. 
 

You wont know until you try a thing if you’re going to get anything out of it. (But you can guarantee getting nothing and staying stuck if you make the choice to not participate). 
 

I’ve tried bachata dancing, kayaking and pickle ball too. None of which I found as sociable as that hiking group but they are all worth doing in their own right, not least of all for the enjoyment of trying a new activity. 
 

If you’re feeling depressed Nothing is going to sound appealing. You have to push yourself past that. 

[Batya33]

I think investing $ in a hobby or classes is not a waste of time or $ but can become so if the person is too flighty/flaky and goes all in without thinking or doesn't research the most cost effective ways to go about it. 

Relatedly I see moms in my FB group keep buying kitchen appliances -air fryer/crock pot/instapot/fancy smoothie makers, etc and just as quickly want to resell them or they remain in the closet.  Same with buying an expensive fitness equipment that begins with a P and it becomes a coat rack.  So it depends.

I spend about $50 more on sneakers that are right for my daily cardio -if I didn't work out daily I could get away with less expensive sneakers and I also wouldn't have to replace them as often. But if there's a color I like best but it's $10 more than a perfectly suitable color I'll save the $10.

I've had my exercise "hobby" for 40 years so to me it's more than worth it.  I've also taken classes of various types (although not in many years with my schedule) and joined gyms occasionally but I also didn't act on impulse and chase after some new fancy/trendy class for more $$.    It's about balance and knowing yourself and how likely you are to stick to a routine/develop a hobby

It remains to be seen if the pickleball craze will endure -it's not for me but it seems great (again maybe not for 30 somethings??) and I don't think the equipment is that expensive.  

[Wiseman2]

On 1/17/2023 at 11:33 PM, Alex39 said:

I spoke with my therapist and she suggested I find new hobbies. . My therapist suggests I join a church.

While these aren't bad suggestions, they don't seem to be working for you. It's strange the therapist isn't addressing the inertia and lassitude rather than just telling you to go get a hobby when you don't feel that's helpful.

[Batya33]

One of my former neighbors married in her 30s and met her husband at church - I think she joined one with a lot of congregants her age.  She was around 30 and told me she was having trouble meeting suitable men.  She is attractive, so smart and on the conservative side.  She and her husband have adorable young kids and also started a thriving, successful business together combining their jobs/talents.

[Seraphim]

The thing is hobbies don’t need to be expensive. I pay for more expensive wool and such but you can also buy at the dollar store and Walmart . I have about 50 crochet hooks of all sizes and have lent them out . The group I attend was put together by the base community. It costs nothing and you show up. We all have a good yammer about life. 
 

I sing in my church choir. Also free you just need to have a police check. 
 

Walking also free, I tend to do with my husband or son and one of my neighbours wants to join in. Exercise helps to lift depression and anxiety and gets the happy hormones flowing . It promotes good health in a low impact way. 

[left due to request]

5 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I sing in my church choir. Also free you just need to have a police check. 

I don't mean to steal the thread but is this true?  I had no idea that they ran background checks on church members.  Isn't church supposed to be a place of sanctuary even for those who made mistakes in their lives?

So if you don't pass the back ground check, you can't join?  Our church and most churches I know do not do this so I'm wondering..

thanks

[Seraphim]

9 minutes ago, rsml123 said:

I don't mean to steal the thread but is this true?  I had no idea that they ran background checks on church members.  Isn't church supposed to be a place of sanctuary even for those who made mistakes in their lives?

So if you don't pass the back ground check, you can't join?  Our church and most churches I know do not do this so I'm wondering..

thanks

If you want to be in contact with vulnerable populations like children and elderly you need a police and vulnerable sector check now for everything . It doesn’t matter to me as I own a daycare so I have had a lot of police checks . 

[left due to request]

1 minute ago, Seraphim said:

If you want to be in contact with vulnerable populations like children and elderly you need a police and vulnerable sector check now for everything . It doesn’t matter to me as I own a daycare so I have had a lot of police checks . 

schools, LTCF and day cares, I understand.  But you said a church choir.

[Starlight925]

The funny thing about Pickleball with respect to age is that it started as a Retirement community hobby.  A way for seniors to stay active, since it’s a much smaller court than tennis. 
 

But the secret is out lol….My 19 year old niece plays & loves it.  And my gym’s average age looks to be around 35.  
 

Another thing you could do is to join a women’s group of interest.  A business networking group, a church group, a political group, etc.  Something where the women in the group are there for a purpose, and along the way, you meet others and become friends.  So the group’s goal is also a hobby.  I’ve been involved in groups like this, and have met some of my closest friends this way. 

[Kwothe28]

Also, its true, lots of hobbies dont require money or even to leave home at all. I suggested yoga but, for example, woman I dated did yoga at home over the Skype. It was still "pandemicy", woman who trained them didnt needed to book a nd pay the time table at the place they worked out and it was better that way. Even if you dont have a coach or need to pay, there is a bunch of free online videos that you can try. I picked up origami art when I was mostly at home during pandemic. You need special paper but even if you dont have that, you can just take scissors and cut square shape on a regular piece of paper and do it. Even cooking now has a bunch of stuff you can do just by picking up an online recipe from a video. My friend did it that way.

But I suggested yoga or some other stuff you need to be around people and go out of the house, because I think Alex would benefit from that. As it would be beneficial for her mental health to do that. So its maybe better to focus on getting out of the house and choose something that would "force" her to do that. Even something more physical if she thinks weight is an issue. Walking or even mountain climbing. We have a club here. They organize almost weekly over weekend tours for their members. Where they go out in more local nature and climb various hills and mountains. 

[Seraphim]

40 minutes ago, rsml123 said:

schools, LTCF and day cares, I understand.  But you said a church choir.

Still a requirement in my parish and diocese. You must also provide 3 references to your character. 

[Seraphim]

57 minutes ago, rsml123 said:

I don't mean to steal the thread but is this true?  I had no idea that they ran background checks on church members.  Isn't church supposed to be a place of sanctuary even for those who made mistakes in their lives?

So if you don't pass the back ground check, you can't join?  Our church and most churches I know do not do this so I'm wondering..

thanks

My husband also had to do a police check to be a lector and communion minister . It is not uncommon here that all churches to do this for any volunteer or paid position. 

[Cherylyn]

I agree anything is an investment whether materials,  supplies,  time,  labor and learning or honing your skills. 

I started with small projects and over the years,  I've since accumulated my supplies but it was never a waste of money.  If I don't consistently spend time doing a particular hobby,  I can always switch by rotating my hobbies based upon whatever strikes my fancy. 

Hobbies are good for the mind whether you do it alone or with others.  It's a great distraction and I feel very productive and industrious while doing it.  Plus, it's good for the brain to think artistically and creatively.  It's also a great break from constant electronics such as your cell phone, PC, TV, radio, social media, screens and electronics which turn into huge time traps.  You can't get anything done and before you know it, the day gets away from you.  Once you eliminate all electronics, doing something old-fashioned is extremely refreshing in this day and age.  It's back to basics and it's good for the brain to use other parts of your brain which you would otherwise not normally use.  Concentrating on creative endeavors is incredibly satisfying.

If it's not your cup of tea, then don't do it. 

If exercise is the route you wish to take, I agree with @Batya33.  Invest in solid shoes or various exercise equipment if you know you'll make this a habit for your health's sake.  I've always bought top of the line athletic shoes because for me, whenever I bought cheap, I got cheap.  Less expensive shoes didn't offer enough support,  didn't fit well, wore out faster or fell apart.  My shoes are very, very, very expensive but I get more wear out of them than off brands or cheaper shoes based upon my experience.  All of my athletic equipment was initially very expensive but they've lasted a very long time and it's cheaper than joining a gym or getting a heart attack.  Fortunately, I have a large garage.  If you lack storage space, then doing alternate means will be more practical and cost effective for you.

I'm not sure about pickle ball.  It couldn't hurt to try it.  I would rent equipment before investing in a sport which could fade away for you. 

I'm currently enrolled in refresher ice skating lessons at my local ice rink.  I missed my ice skating days.  It is a lot of fun.  My schedule is ice skating 3x per week which should get me up to speed quickly.  I didn't mind paying for new ice skates and blades plus sharpening services because rental ice skates are awful IMHO.  I've met a lot of new friends whom I meet regularly at the ice rink. 

Be bold.  You have to get out of your comfort zone and start somewhere.  You won't know unless you try. 

[Batya33]

Maybe semantics but I never thought of having any "hobbies."  Maybe because I consider hobbies to be more focused on arts and crafts or baking (but not baking/cooking at a professional chef level).  I am not crafty.  I have a great appreciation for fine arts and performance art/theater/music -all of it despite not being able to do it (other than acting - I can act and would be able to if I took more lessons and/or do improv). I am good at creative writing which I also have not done for many years -but I write for my career and have for the last 25-30 years plus 

 Roller skating and ice skating which I did many years ago was an activity not a hobby just like my exercise routine.  

I don't think it's necessary to have a hobby and I think there is plenty to do aside from electronics. 

Yes I grew up with TV (and my handheld coleco football game lol) but I was always an avid reader and writer, regularly at the theater, museums, art galleries, outdoor stuff like hiking, etc. I did some needlework/crocheting/sewing as a child and of course lanyards in camp. I loved going out dancing starting at age 14 and did so in a major city at some really well known places - lots of alcohol and drugs but I consumed none (at most a half a beer/half a glass of wine) - I was there to dance.  It was not a hobby just something I had fun doing.  

I have friends in my age group - 50s -who do zentangle art, AI art (is that a thing now?) and who knit/crochet/pottery.  I have friends very into Crossfit, pickleball, fostering animals, running marathons, gardening swing dancing.  In my 30s my friends were into: tennis, golf, square and swing dancing, community theater (back and front stage), volunteer work, leadership in religious organizations, etc.

If someone asked me what my hobbies were I'd say what I've said forever -none.  If someone asked me what I like to do I'd tell them a whole variety of things but I'd prefer not to -I'd prefer to name one or two or until we figure out what we both like to do (like travel?) and then talk about that particular topic.  I think talking about hobbies/interests is more interesting when they are shared with the other person or something the other person is very interested in learning more about (which is usually me -I love hearing about most of what other people like to do and learning something new in the process!). 

For the OP - to be an interesting person often it's more than enough to be curious and interested in what others share with you and sometimes in the process a lightbulb might go off like "I'd love to do that -how do I get involved?"

[Cherylyn]

I agree hobbies aren't for everyone.  I'm just fortunate that I was born this way and I've inherited my creative, artsy gene from my aunt.  She made a seed pearl bead clutch purse for my mother which is beautiful and thousands of white beads were painstakingly strung one by one.  I couldn't believe it.  It's lined in silk.  I've always marveled at her artwork. 

I've inherited my ability to draw and my penmanship from my late father so this is where my sketching illustrating and calligraphy comes into play. 

I have so many hobbies.  This is what I do and I love it.  However, I know it's not for everyone and that's OK.

I like the best of so many worlds because I become bored if I'm stuck just doing a few activities.  I need to mix it up and change it up.  Fortunately, I can. 

OP, do what you enjoy, experiment with dabbling in whatever may interest you and go from there. 

Different strokes for different folks.   To each his own.  🙂

[lostandhurt]

I have read nearly all of your threads and everyone is always very helpful which is great with all the wonderful people on this forum.

BUT

 A perfect solution or idea is only that until you try it.  My suggestion is to just try anything or try a bunch of small things and see which one sparks an interest or passion in you so it will be sustained and fulfilling. 

Walking group or partner:  I am sure there are hundreds of people just like you out there so find one or two.

Volunteering: Where to start... Children hospitals, animal shelters, veterans groups, local schools, adaptive sports programs, museums, Church and on and on

I guess what I am saying is just get out there even if you don't have a plan, just do it and see what happens.  You are more likely to discover something you love and something about yourself if you put yourself way out there and take a risk.   Google free activities/volunteering in your area and see what pops up.  I did my area and was stunned.

Best wishes

 Lost

[boltnrun]

Nextdoor often has posts by people who are looking for someone to go on walks with, or do beach/neighborhood cleanups, or join an exercise class or go hiking, or...

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Cherylyn said:

I like the best of so many worlds because I become bored if I'm stuck just doing a few activities.  I need to mix it up and change it up.  Fortunately, I can. 

So can I as there are many activities to do and places to explore whether it includes doing something art or craft related - or not.  There are so many talents and skills out there that people have and/or can develop and some are art/craft related and some are not. 

I don't think the OP will be "stuck" in the least whether she chooses one activity or many or one hobby or many - the problem is she's stuck because she seems to be getting in her own way.  I hope she gets out there and explores because to me it's much more satisfying to discover and develop a passion for something you have to work for some -- and of course there's a benefit to being born with a genetic predisposition to certain talents as you describe. I was naturally creative with writing so I get how fortunate it is to be good at an art form.

I really like Lostandhurt's post on this point.