Do we have a chance if he was my doctor and we are both married?!

[Kwothe28]

10 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

He doesn't have to. His marital status is none of her business. They were Never in a relationship or dating. 

 

I would agree if she was just some patient that went to his office. But they had plans to meet when her appointments were done. This was not just a fantasy in her head.

Also to what kind of crime are you talking about? He waited until they are done and she is no longer a patient. Anything done after that is legal. And he most likely knows that and hence why he initiated a "hang out" after she was no longer a patient. He is a pig because he is trying to cheat on his newlywed wife with his ex patient, that is not a crime(otherwise half of the world would be in jail lol) just really gross from a moral standpoint.

Also, are we really accusing her for wanting to get it done with her chiropractor to make her settlement larger? Its clear she has a huge crush on a guy but I wouldnt really go that into it lol

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, HLDrago said:

 we kept it 100% professional. we use the same gym and made sorta like plans to hang out there 

That is not how I read it. "Maybe I'll see you at the gym" is not asking for an affair. I stand by my statement about this being a romance novel fantasy. Not some married "pig" running after a former patient.   She is assuming he wants an affair because she didn't know about his private life and that he's "bored". How probable is it that a newlywed chiropractor is bored and chasing someone he was required to treat?

26 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

. But they had plans to meet 

 

[DarkCh0c0]

Honestly OP, THIS MAN IS TRASH.

He has crossed boundaries at work and I'm sure he does this to other women.

Stop visiting him and work on your marriage. If you don't want to, you're still considered married until you divorce.

Don't go down to his level...

[Kwothe28]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

I stand by my statement about this being a romance novel fantasy.

You can stand by what you want as much as you want but they still made plans to hang out and he did whisper in her ear which is widely innapropriate for a doctor. 

Also you said something about the crime and I saw no crime there except of low moral standings which is not a crime that you would arrest somebody. Not to mention accused her of an insurance freud? Not to defend OP but that is just way out of line.

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

 he did whisper in her ear which is widely innapropriate for a doctor.  

Since you were there, what did he say?😂

[Kwothe28]

6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Since you were there, what did he say?😂

According to OP, this

8 hours ago, HLDrago said:

With his cheek against my cheek he told me in my ear that he would see me soon and not to worry that this wasn’t it.

Are you accusing her that she also delusional as she is a criminal that wants to commit insurance freud? Not very wise of you, Wiseman. 🤣

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Kwothe28 said:

According to OP, this

Are you accusing her that she also delusional as she is a criminal that wants to commit insurance freud? Not very wise of you, Wiseman. 🤣

No. I do think it's a fantasy and in the US professional misconduct is taken seriously. In personal injury cases, there is a limited number of sessions. You misunderstood how this chiropractor was hired to treat and document her injuries for the purposes of the settlement.

[jul-els]

3 hours ago, HLDrago said:

 

It’s the latter. And you are openly welcoming it. It would be wise of you to rethink that.

[Batya33]

Here is what I would do if you want to risk being with this person who obviously has questionable ethics.  After your divorce is final for at least a year -who cares if you never have sex with your husband-you're a married woman for whatever reason you are choosing to be a married woman -after that -then look him up and contact him.  If it's such a strong connection and if he is single and available it will work out at that time. But again watch your back -pun intended -he obviously isn't on the up and up.

And you lied to him too so your connection is questionable since it's based on a significant lie.  I've been lied to about marital status -luckily only had one date or was just messaging a couple of times -and it doesn't feel good.  To say the least.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

Are you accusing her that she also delusional as she is a criminal that wants to commit insurance freud? Not very wise of you, Wiseman. 🤣

In the US is not customary to walk in and say "I'm Dr. X and I'm married" so he did not deceive her. An no one accused anyone of crime. I feel that he did nothing inappropriate. She is an unhappily married woman who lied on her forms about being married and admits she had a crush and that he sort of kind of said, "oh we go to the same gym maybe we'll see each other around". I find it hard to believe that given a lying unhappily married woman and a desirable newlywed that he is chasing her like an unethical pig.

[Kwothe28]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

An no one accused anyone of crime.

Oh yes, somebody did. You to the OP

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Keep in mind in the US personal injury cases are quite lucrative and reports from a physician or other provider makes the settlement larger.

Just because you are trying to spin your own narrative here, doesnt erase that you accused her of an insurance freud and how she wants to get with the doctor because of the settlement. You can try to spin your words as much as you can, but you did. Again, not very wise of you, Wiseman...

 

6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

I find it hard to believe that given a lying unhappily married woman and a desirable newlywed that he is chasing her like an unethical pig.

Yes, because no married man in the history was seen chasing a hot woman around for sex. And doctors to patients? That is unheard of. Right? 🤣

I was gona let this go with the laugh, but you wont so I wont too. 

So again, you accused her of something because in your narrative she is some delusional woman that wants to commit an insurance freud. By sleeping with her chiropractor. 

You also accused me of accusing chiropractor to some crime. Even though I didnt see the crime there. He is a pig because he is a pig. Married guy chasing around patients, whispering into their ears and meeting them outside the work. Pig behavior. Deal with it.

I just wonder why you are so adamant of this? I know I am stubborn sometimes so yes, if we have to write we will write until tomorrow. But you? I dunno why you have to invent your own narrative. When she hasnt even mentioned that she needs him for court or anything. Its evident she has a big crush on a guy and that is about it. For all we know she just needed chiropractor. But hey, as long as you can spin it in your head and then try to get out how you dont accuse anyone of crime, right?

[redswim30]

4 hours ago, HLDrago said:

 

 He is bored.  He's a newlywed.  A NEW-LY-WED.   He doesn't have feelings for you, he wants a piece of tail, then go back to his real family.  And when the wife gets upset, to call you the "crazy girl that made me do it".  And imagine how great he'll be to you if this is found out and he loses his job- it's unethical for doctor to flirt/be suggestive to patients.  Depending on where he works, he could even lose his license to practice medicine. 

You want to feel good about yourself.  You want to believe you love him.  What you have isn't love, it's infatuation.  You are imagining him to be someone he isn't. This man is NOT Prince Charming. 

I know rom-coms often make it seem like a "fun" scenario to be caught between two people.  The reality is a lot more ugly with a lot more people getting hurt and lives getting damaged.   And that's without adding anything really ugly into the mix like a restraining order, the wife stalking you, the wife finding out and telling your husband, your husband divorcing you, your kids hating you, and lots of other "fun" things that can happen here. 

NO.  You cannot be his friend. You aren't friends, you just want to cheat on your spouses together.  That's not a friendship, that's a booty call.  There's ONE way you can be together- Tell you husband you're divorcing him because you want to see other people and tell this man that you want him to divorce his brand new wife so the two of you can be together and deal with the massive fallout.  But I'm betting he will just run for the hills and find a new woman to use as his toy.   Great man that he is. 

OP, I hope for both your family's sake that you WAKE UP.   If you don't love your husband anymore, then get divorced and find someone single to date. 

[Rose Mosse]

6 hours ago, HLDrago said:

My husband and I are not actively trying to save our marriage. We know we are getting a divorce so I am not technically cheating or doing anything wrong because my husband is well aware of my feelings for this guy. We are really good friends and are splitting amicably. It’s the chiropractor that is married and I found out from his co worker. He still doesn’t know that I know he is. He is still pretending to me that he is like this lone wolf. He isn’t technically lying to me about it he is just not telling me. That’s why I am so confused and now I am reading everyone’s comments and think he is kinda a dog. Should I confront him or just never talk to him again. It sucks cause I really do like him and if he could only be friends with me I was ok with that too

What’s the point of confronting someone with low integrity? Think through this for a few seconds when you have a moment.

[boltnrun]

You don't want to be his friend. If you did you'd suggest getting together INCLUDING HIS WIFE to have some drinks or go to a sports event. 

Again, I am quite certain you are not the only patient he's chasing. He likely tries it on with any woman patient he suspects is starved for attention.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

You can try to spin your words as much as you can, but you did. Again, not very wise of you, Wiseman...

No need for personal attacks or rewriting what I wrote. Peace out.

[HLDrago]

6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

You were never "his friend", you were his patient and as such his personal life is of no concern to you.

Exactly how is he "a dog who used you" when nothing happened, except in your fantasies?

You're on a slippery slope because accusing a professional of  sexual impropriety is quite serious.

Is it worth it because your little fantasy was not fulfilled? Get a grip. He was your provider not your friend or lover. There was never any "we" in all this. It seems more like this:

"De Clerambault syndrome is characterized by the delusional idea, usually in a woman, that a man whom she considers to be of higher social and/or professional standing is in love with her"

 

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

He doesn't have to. His marital status is none of her business. They were Never in a relationship or dating. 

He did not pursue her in any way, shape or form. This was all imagined from her departure from his practice and a hug.  Not uncommon. There was Never  inappropriate touching or advances.

People need to be a lot more careful of accusing professionals of crimes, calling them "pigs" when someone dreams up a romance novel fantasy like this. She even lies about  "she's not really married".  But calls hubby lickety split when there's car trouble?

Keep in mind in the US personal injury cases are quite lucrative and reports from a physician or other provider makes the settlement larger.

 

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

He doesn't have to. His marital status is none of her business. They were Never in a relationship or dating. 

He did not pursue her in any way, shape or form. This was all imagined from her departure from his practice and a hug.  Not uncommon. There was Never  inappropriate touching or advances.

People need to be a lot more careful of accusing professionals of crimes, calling them "pigs" when someone dreams up a romance novel fantasy like this. She even lies about  "she's not really married".  But calls hubby lickety split when there's car trouble?

Keep in mind in the US personal injury cases are quite lucrative and reports from a physician or other provider makes the settlement larger.

[HLDrago]

Ok so WISEMAN you seem to not be reading my entire post rather skimming which you’re starting to be really rude to me because of it. I didn’t fantasize a relationship with him or even a future. This is why I am here to ask what I should do because we BOTH have admitted to having feelings for each other, made future plans and have initiated contact outside of work. We didn’t just have one hug. That was just the most significant one to date and he does like me because he has told me so. This isn’t some bull I conjured up one day so get a grip. I like him and he likes me but our situation is hard because of a previous professional relationship between us and that he is married. So I just at this point have asked should we even try to be friends? I have not said I want to break up his life or do anything but enhance it. When I suggested that we just have an affair if he wanted I was merely saying that that’s how much I like him but not that I would actually do it. We talked about everything EXCEPT him being married and he shouldn’t have to tell me exactly but if he didn’t want anything else and didn’t want me flirting with him that would’ve been the way for BOTH of us to cut it out but he didn’t tell me because he wanted that affection from me is what I am guessing and was afraid to lose it. I am here because I am confused about how I feel about him and if I WANT ANYTHING more not the other way around. I NEVER accused him of any impropriety and besides hug a few times a little gray lining it and meeting up at the gym nothing happened because we didn’t let it. Now that I am NOT a patient I don’t think either of us knows exactly how to handle this situation. Also again dude this isn’t done imaginary tale of a fantasy I want to have… you sighted it was a mental medical condition I have… but in order for that to be true I would have to perceive myself as lesser than him and I don’t. I am rather attractive, still young, and pretty financially well off. Lots of guys pay me attention so this isn’t a boredom or lonely thing. We just really did click and I don’t know what to do with that because I miss him and now it’s me avoiding him. He has tried to reach out but after reading some of the comments here I am no longer sure how I feel. I am not trying to have an affair exactly  just don’t want to lose someone I really do care about. And even if that’s one sided as you say then so what?! It hurts like if your best friend moved away in elementary school. You can’t do anything to fight it and you’re prolly never see him again but what if you could change that? Would you still be friends knowing there is a risk of feelings behind that?! That’s what my post is about…is us being even just friends worth the risk if we care this much about each other 

[boltnrun]

4 minutes ago, HLDrago said:

is us being even just friends worth the risk if we care this much about each other 

If you two are legit friends he would be inviting his wife to come along whenever you wanted to spend time together.

[HLDrago]

19 minutes ago, HLDrago said:

 

 

Also no fantasy…read again he hugged me in a way so that I had no choice but to put my arms around his neck with his hands on my lower back so he could pull me into him. He initiated that not me.  He then whispers in my ear while his face is pressed against my cheek that he will see me soon after we had just had a discussion to meet at the gym that night. If he didn’t like me or want to meet up with me I think he could’ve not hugged me that way like he has done multiple times, told me he had a wife or not told me we would see each other later. I don’t know where you are getting some ‘fantasy’ out of this whole thing but this actually happened sooooo maybe you could recalibrate and gimme some better advice 

[HLDrago]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

If you two are legit friends he would be inviting his wife to come along whenever you wanted to spend time together.

That’s what I kinda thought too. I feel like I am not hiding my relationship status from him but he is hiding his from me and I think I know why now. I really appreciate the advice 

[Rose Mosse]

14 minutes ago, HLDrago said:

Ok so WISEMAN you seem to not be reading my entire post rather skimming which you’re starting to be really rude to me because of it. I didn’t fantasize a relationship with him or even a future. This is why I am here to ask what I should do because we BOTH have admitted to having feelings for each other, made future plans and have initiated contact outside of work. We didn’t just have one hug. That was just the most significant one to date and he does like me because he has told me so. This isn’t some bull I conjured up one day so get a grip. I like him and he likes me but our situation is hard because of a previous professional relationship between us and that he is married. So I just at this point have asked should we even try to be friends? I have not said I want to break up his life or do anything but enhance it. When I suggested that we just have an affair if he wanted I was merely saying that that’s how much I like him but not that I would actually do it. We talked about everything EXCEPT him being married and he shouldn’t have to tell me exactly but if he didn’t want anything else and didn’t want me flirting with him that would’ve been the way for BOTH of us to cut it out but he didn’t tell me because he wanted that affection from me is what I am guessing and was afraid to lose it. I am here because I am confused about how I feel about him and if I WANT ANYTHING more not the other way around. I NEVER accused him of any impropriety and besides hug a few times a little gray lining it and meeting up at the gym nothing happened because we didn’t let it. Now that I am NOT a patient I don’t think either of us knows exactly how to handle this situation. Also again dude this isn’t done imaginary tale of a fantasy I want to have… you sighted it was a mental medical condition I have… but in order for that to be true I would have to perceive myself as lesser than him and I don’t. I am rather attractive, still young, and pretty financially well off. Lots of guys pay me attention so this isn’t a boredom or lonely thing. We just really did click and I don’t know what to do with that because I miss him and now it’s me avoiding him. He has tried to reach out but after reading some of the comments here I am no longer sure how I feel. I am not trying to have an affair exactly  just don’t want to lose someone I really do care about. And even if that’s one sided as you say then so what?! It hurts like if your best friend moved away in elementary school. You can’t do anything to fight it and you’re prolly never see him again but what if you could change that? Would you still be friends knowing there is a risk of feelings behind that?! That’s what my post is about…is us being even just friends worth the risk if we care this much about each other 

You’re not friends, OP. You’ve admitted caring about him as more than a friend. The issue is not recognizing this has crossed far into the more-than-friends yet attempting to label it or authenticate it as merely “friendly”.

We can care about individuals we meet but acting on it is a different matter. Pick your company carefully.

[HLDrago]

1 hour ago, Rose Mosse said:

What’s the point of confronting someone with low integrity? Think through this for a few seconds when you have a moment.

I think you’re right. I think I have him on a pedal stool and not really taking a minute to step back and see the whole picture. He is a hot guy and I am a hot girl. He wanted my attention and got it so I think that’s why he didn’t tell me. Which I am not mad about that. I think I am probably likely upset because he didn’t care enough about me to tell me and treated me like I would be some side thing instead of a friend. 

[HLDrago]

1 minute ago, Rose Mosse said:

You’re not friends, OP. You’ve admitted caring about him as more than a friend. The issue is not recognizing this has crossed far into the more-than-friends yet attempting to label it or authenticate it as merely “friendly”.

We can care about individuals we meet but acting on it is a different matter. Pick your company carefully.

You’re actually really on point. We aren’t anything anymore. After reading all this I don’t think we are friends he just wanted some attention because he was bored. I just fell for him and I wish I hadn’t been sorta childish and stupid about it because I think it was all a game I didn’t know I was playing lol. He was just having fun and I developed feelings I guess no harm no foul because lines were maybe a little crossed but nothing that can’t be fixed 

[Cherylyn]

Splash cold water on your face and wake up.  😮

Finalize your divorce and find a new chiropractor for your medical needs in that order. 

Don't have any interaction with whomever you hire unless it's strictly professional.  You're the patient and they're the medical provider.  Keep it at that.  Know obvious boundaries. 

After your divorce, then you can start dating SINGLE, very unattached men. 

Married men are off limits as are you because you're not legally nor officially divorced yet.

Use common sense. 

[HLDrago]

1 minute ago, Cherylyn said:

Splash cold water on your face and wake up.  😮

Finalize your divorce and find a new chiropractor for your medical needs in that order. 

Don't have any interaction with whomever you hire unless it's strictly professional.  You're the patient and they're the medical provider.  Keep it at that.  Know obvious boundaries. 

After your divorce, then you can start dating SINGLE, very unattached men. 

Married men are off limits as are you because you're not legally nor officially divorced yet.

Use common sense. 

I agree. I just wanted to be friends but I think too many cats out of the bag maybe to be put back in lol. I plan to move on and never see him again I think