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OMG... Did I Hit On Another Attention Seeker? :(


KlearKut
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A girl from college (23F), who I see every wednesday, actually asked for me and gave her number to one of my classmates so he could give it to me...

We texted and set up a first date right off the bat... But you all know I am me...

I can't just set up a friggin date and forget about the girl until the day of the date...

So I ended up texting her all weekend before the first date...

She clearly indicated at the beginning she doesn't like guys who message her all the time... ffs....

My excessive eager texting turned her off, made her lose the interest and she texted me today cancelling our date with some lame  excuse about her work... and said we would have to reschedule...

Tried rescheduling to thursday... she told me she wasn't sure she would be available that day...

Took the hint, deleted her number... but texted "In case you want to chat... hit me up..." And forgot about her...

 

Yet, some 4 hours later, she actually hit me up, suddenly with a renewed interest for me, asking how I was... asking about my weekend...  and for the first time she liked one of my IG stories...

 

Not sure if she is still interested, feels bad for cancelling our date, or is just seeking attention.

 

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Does it matter?  As I see it you shouldn't be questioning a second chance.

You screwed this up knowing full well your penchant for obsessing over women and yet you still did exactly what you knew you shouldn't do.  This is a gift so accept it and decide what you want to do.

 Chat briefly and casually ask her when she might be free so you can meet and get to know one another in person instead of electronically. 

Keep it simple and please stop jumping to conclusions and wondering what each little thing means.  Just meet her and find out if she is awesome or not a good fit for you.

Pretty simple if you just let it happen

Lost

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55 minutes ago, KlearKut said:

Not sure if she is still interested, feels bad for cancelling our date, or is just seeking attention.

Cancelling a date doesn't have the monumental importance you're assigning to it.

Just make another one, and lay off the messaging unless she asks you a question.

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7 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Just make another one, and lay off the messaging unless she asks you a question.

I would add to what catfeeder said, no matter what don't be too thirsty.  It's a turnoff for both guys and girls and same sex potential partners.  No criticism, I did the same thing recently (me too thirsty)

🙂  good luck

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Work seems like a legitimate reason if she works shifts or needs the hours. I’m not sure why you called it lame. She didn’t actually cancel the date either. She wanted to reschedule but the rescheduling Thurs option wasn’t available to her/she wasn’t free. 

Find another time and ask her what days is she free coming up this week. She tells you the days she’s free and then you plan something together. 

I think you jumped the gun and thought the worst too quickly.

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2 hours ago, KlearKut said:

My excessive eager texting turned her off, made her lose the interest and she texted me today cancelling our date with some lame  excuse about her work... 

Your instincts seem correct that you tend to text-smother women before dating. Just step off the gas on that.

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I think she felt a bit bad she cancelled and is still interested in you so was being friendly. It is a positive sign. 

I'd write this week off. Her schedule seems hazy and she didn't counter offer. And you will see her on Wednesday anyway. There is no rush. 

And cool it with the texting. Let her set the pace. 

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I would have cancelled as well even if I didn't tell the person I didn't like excessive calling/messaging - I would hope an adult would know better and it would tell me the person could not be trusted in social situations to behave appropriately -or at least a high risk of it. Less is more.  Especially in the beginning.  Less typing back and forth.  More of - make the date, show up on time, look nice/be nice.  The end.  Who knows why she's messaging you but I do know messaging is easy. Much easier than making a plan and sticking to it barring a work emergency.

Edited by Batya33
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Always treat your time as valuable. As she did offer to reshedule, but didnt offer an alternative, I would written it off too. She knows that her time is valuable. So you do it too. That would also mean no texting.

Did you overplayed it? Who knows. At start you can be written off on almost any ground. You did saw that excessive texting doesnt really do you any favor so focus more on other means of communication like dates.

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I wouldn't just straight away assume that because someone asked to reschedule once that they're definitely not interested. They legitimately may have had something actually come up. If they did it many times then yes but this happened only once so far. Then she did contact you again only four hours later. Keep the texting to a normal amount, maybe once every couple of days or so. I hate being smothered too and so do most people. 

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