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4 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

No one is being hateful, OP. 

This is NOT your life. Remember the other threads?  You need to get a hold of yourself. The idea was that you'd see a lawyer, get a divorce, have everything properly documented, with strict visitation rights in place.

Instead here you are a prisoner with this madman showing up at the house at any time.  Do you not see how crazy that sounds to us reading what you say!

Yes, Wiseman. I do indeed remember the other two threads. 

 

Visitation rights for who?? What are you talking about?

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OK, so I got the restraining order yesterday.  He should be served with it today.  Also, my daughter filed charges for the items he stole from her.  I filed charges because he stole my wedding dress. 

Your kids are actually setting an example for you here.  They have good boundaries.  They realize they cannot control what their mother does so they make the healthiest choices they can given their ag

Stop involving your children in this decision. You are a grown woman. Getting rid of a man threatening your children should be the number 1 priority. You should be protecting them, not asking them if

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For who do you think OP!  For him!  A Court will decide and an agreement will be reached as to what days he may see and have the child/children.  

He cannot just turn up and harass as he is presently doing.   Just get that restraining order, please! 

You said he has left the house.  Next step is to set the divorce proceedings in motion. I am asking again? Have you consulted a lawyer? And if not why not?

 

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3 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

For who do you think OP!  For him!  A Court will decide and an agreement will be reached as to what days he may see and have the child/children.  

He cannot just turn up and harass as he is presently doing.   Just get that restraining order, please! 

You said he has left the house.  Next step is to set the divorce proceedings in motion. I am asking again? Have you consulted a lawyer? And if not why not?

 

None of my kids are his.

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Posted (edited)

And could you please answer my/our questions. 

Everything has a bearing on your situation.  Is there some reason (please be specific) why you really deep down want to continue with this abusive individual. Do you think any half sane man would turn up at the house to bug you! 

OK. None of the kids are his.  So much the better.  And all the more reason why you should have nothing further to do with him. Get him out of your life and get that divorce. 

Please answer my questions. 

 

Edited by LaHermes
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2 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

And could you please answer my/our questions. 

Everything has a bearing on your situation.  Is there some reason (please be specific) why you really deep down want to continue with this abusive individual. Do you think any half sane man would turn up at the house to bug you! 

 

I guess it's the attention I get from him.  I'm trying to get an appointment with a counselor to talk about this.  

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Just now, Mommy1995 said:

I guess it's the attention I get from him. 

Dear lord above!  Attention from an abuser. You need to see the counsellor tomorrow. Not "trying to get" an appointment.  And please, please see a lawyer immediately and get the divorce going. 

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2 hours ago, Mommy1995 said:

telling somewhat what they can and can't wear, who they can be friends with and where they can and can't go.

We did tell you what we thought about this very same question in the other threads. Over and over again. 

Evidently you don't think it is abusive or you wouldn't be here asking, when you know the answers you are going to get. 

Again. Divorce? When are you going to file for divorce?

 

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3 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

We did tell you what we thought about this very same question in the other threads. Over and over again. 

Evidently you don't think it is abusive or you wouldn't be here asking, when you know the answers you are going to get. 

Again. Divorce? When are you going to file for divorce?

 

I haven't starting divorce proceedings.  I was just trying to get him out of the house first.

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58 minutes ago, Mommy1995 said:

He makes me feel like I'm a horrible person

Say this over and over and over and over again.  Even if he was or wasn't abusive, this is not someone you should be with.

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Have you arrested for what exactly?

Ok, so you enjoy the "attention" he gives you.  Even though his "attention" is all abusive.

Look, if you enjoy the abuse then stay with him. Like I suggested in your other two threads, sign custody of your children over to their fathers and then ask him to move back in. You can have supervised visits with your children. Problem solved.

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OP, please get proper legal advice on how to go about getting rid of this abusive psycho. That includes filing a restraining order. Don't go it alone because you don't know how to do it properly and people here also are not lawyers with knowledge of your local laws and procedures.

As for this man, YOU need to decide to be done and be done. For as long as you think his contact and pursuit of you means something positive, as opposed to psycho, you will be stuck. Abusers do not change and do not love or care about you. He does care about his power and control over you. That's a completely different thing. If you walk away, he lost his power and he can't stand the idea of that. It is all about him, nothing to do with you, other than you are his punching bag.

You also need counseling and desperately so because your ideas of love and relationships are clearly damaged and off.

 

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2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Have you arrested for what exactly?

Ok, so you enjoy the "attention" he gives you.  Even though his "attention" is all abusive.

Look, if you enjoy the abuse then stay with him. Like I suggested in your other two threads, sign custody of your children over to their fathers and then ask him to move back in. You can have supervised visits with your children. Problem solved.

I don't know.  I guess he was going to make something up.  You can have anybody arrested.  All you have to do is file charges.  It may not last in court but I'd still be arrested.

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6 minutes ago, Mommy1995 said:

I thought maybe I'd get some new opinions.

Not a chance OP. No responsible person here or anywhere else would tell you anything different. This is an abusive and possibly even dangerous individual. 

I agree with what Bolt says above.

And what DF says is spot on:

"OP, please get proper legal advice on how to go about getting rid of this abusive psycho. That includes filing a restraining order. Don't go it alone because you don't know how to do it properly and people here also are not lawyers with knowledge of your local laws and procedures."

and

"your ideas of love and relationships are clearly damaged and off."

You do need help, OP, and quickly. 

Edited by LaHermes
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2 minutes ago, DancingFool said:

OP, please get proper legal advice on how to go about getting rid of this abusive psycho. That includes filing a restraining order. Don't go it alone because you don't know how to do it properly and people here also are not lawyers with knowledge of your local laws and procedures.

As for this man, YOU need to decide to be done and be done. For as long as you think his contact and pursuit of you means something positive, as opposed to psycho, you will be stuck. Abusers do not change and do not love or care about you. He does care about his power and control over you. That's a completely different thing. If you walk away, he lost his power and he can't stand the idea of that. It is all about him, nothing to do with you, other than you are his punching bag.

You also need counseling and desperately so because your ideas of love and relationships are clearly damaged and off.

 

THANK YOU!  This is the best post I've seen as of yet!!

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1 minute ago, Mommy1995 said:

I don't know.  I guess he was going to make something up.  You can have anybody arrested.  All you have to do is file charges.  It may not last in court but I'd still be arrested.

This is precisely why you need to arm yourself with an attorney, stop trying to do things yourself, and stop all contact with him. Let the lawyer deal with him and they will. They have tons of experience with handling these types of losers.

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5 minutes ago, Mommy1995 said:

I don't know.  I guess he was going to make something up.  You can have anybody arrested.  All you have to do is file charges.  It may not last in court but I'd still be arrested.

No, you cannot just have someone arrested. Who told you that? Him? If that were true people could just accuse someone of a crime and the jails and courts would be filled to overflowing. No, he cannot have you arrested.

You didn't respond to the rest of my post. If you love the "attention" he gives you, then give up your kids and stay with him. You don't have to divorce him if you don't want to. But get your poor innocent kids away from him.

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1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

If you love the "attention" he gives you, then give up your kids and stay with him. You don't have to divorce him if you don't want to. But get your poor innocent kids away from him.

Yeh. What can one say? 

DF's advice stands, and indeed we all advised you from day one to see a lawyer.

 

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1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

No, you cannot just have someone arrested. Who told you that? Him? If that were true people could just accuse someone of a crime and the jails and courts would be filled to overflowing. No, he cannot have you arrested.

You didn't respond to the rest of my post. If you love the "attention" he gives you, then give up your kids and stay with him. You don't have to divorce him if you don't want to. But get your poor innocent kids away from him.

If you lie and say someone did something to you, you can have them arrested.  I know this for a fact.  At least, it's that way in my state.  

I don't want to stay with him but it's hard to get away from him.  I know I need counseling to see why I cling to such abusive relationships.  I am working on that.

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