LaHermes Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 For who do you think OP! For him! A Court will decide and an agreement will be reached as to what days he may see and have the child/children. He cannot just turn up and harass as he is presently doing. Just get that restraining order, please! You said he has left the house. Next step is to set the divorce proceedings in motion. I am asking again? Have you consulted a lawyer? And if not why not? Link to comment
Mommy1995 Posted June 3, 2021 Author Share Posted June 3, 2021 By the way, I wasn't trying to bring up my situation with the other posts. I've already gotten a warning for that. I was just asking a question. Link to comment
Mommy1995 Posted June 3, 2021 Author Share Posted June 3, 2021 3 minutes ago, LaHermes said: For who do you think OP! For him! A Court will decide and an agreement will be reached as to what days he may see and have the child/children. He cannot just turn up and harass as he is presently doing. Just get that restraining order, please! You said he has left the house. Next step is to set the divorce proceedings in motion. I am asking again? Have you consulted a lawyer? And if not why not? None of my kids are his. Link to comment
LaHermes Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 And could you please answer my/our questions. Everything has a bearing on your situation. Is there some reason (please be specific) why you really deep down want to continue with this abusive individual. Do you think any half sane man would turn up at the house to bug you! OK. None of the kids are his. So much the better. And all the more reason why you should have nothing further to do with him. Get him out of your life and get that divorce. Please answer my questions. Link to comment
Mommy1995 Posted June 3, 2021 Author Share Posted June 3, 2021 2 minutes ago, LaHermes said: And could you please answer my/our questions. Everything has a bearing on your situation. Is there some reason (please be specific) why you really deep down want to continue with this abusive individual. Do you think any half sane man would turn up at the house to bug you! I guess it's the attention I get from him. I'm trying to get an appointment with a counselor to talk about this. Link to comment
LaHermes Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Just now, Mommy1995 said: I guess it's the attention I get from him. Dear lord above! Attention from an abuser. You need to see the counsellor tomorrow. Not "trying to get" an appointment. And please, please see a lawyer immediately and get the divorce going. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 7 minutes ago, Mommy1995 said: I've already gotten a warning for that. Ok, then why keep going over it? Link to comment
Mommy1995 Posted June 3, 2021 Author Share Posted June 3, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok, then why keep going over it? I'm not going over it!! I just asked a question! You guys brought up my other posts! Link to comment
LaHermes Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 2 hours ago, Mommy1995 said: telling somewhat what they can and can't wear, who they can be friends with and where they can and can't go. We did tell you what we thought about this very same question in the other threads. Over and over again. Evidently you don't think it is abusive or you wouldn't be here asking, when you know the answers you are going to get. Again. Divorce? When are you going to file for divorce? Link to comment
Mommy1995 Posted June 3, 2021 Author Share Posted June 3, 2021 3 minutes ago, LaHermes said: We did tell you what we thought about this very same question in the other threads. Over and over again. Evidently you don't think it is abusive or you wouldn't be here asking, when you know the answers you are going to get. Again. Divorce? When are you going to file for divorce? I haven't starting divorce proceedings. I was just trying to get him out of the house first. Link to comment
LaHermes Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Well, now he is gone, and needs to stay gone. Don't delay any longer in seeing a lawyer. Link to comment
Mommy1995 Posted June 3, 2021 Author Share Posted June 3, 2021 I didn't know the exact same people would respond. I thought maybe I'd get some new opinions. Sorry. Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 58 minutes ago, Mommy1995 said: He makes me feel like I'm a horrible person Say this over and over and over and over again. Even if he was or wasn't abusive, this is not someone you should be with. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Have you arrested for what exactly? Ok, so you enjoy the "attention" he gives you. Even though his "attention" is all abusive. Look, if you enjoy the abuse then stay with him. Like I suggested in your other two threads, sign custody of your children over to their fathers and then ask him to move back in. You can have supervised visits with your children. Problem solved. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 OP, please get proper legal advice on how to go about getting rid of this abusive psycho. That includes filing a restraining order. Don't go it alone because you don't know how to do it properly and people here also are not lawyers with knowledge of your local laws and procedures. As for this man, YOU need to decide to be done and be done. For as long as you think his contact and pursuit of you means something positive, as opposed to psycho, you will be stuck. Abusers do not change and do not love or care about you. He does care about his power and control over you. That's a completely different thing. If you walk away, he lost his power and he can't stand the idea of that. It is all about him, nothing to do with you, other than you are his punching bag. You also need counseling and desperately so because your ideas of love and relationships are clearly damaged and off. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Just now, boltnrun said: Ok, so you enjoy the "attention" Agree. Link to comment
Mommy1995 Posted June 3, 2021 Author Share Posted June 3, 2021 2 minutes ago, boltnrun said: Have you arrested for what exactly? Ok, so you enjoy the "attention" he gives you. Even though his "attention" is all abusive. Look, if you enjoy the abuse then stay with him. Like I suggested in your other two threads, sign custody of your children over to their fathers and then ask him to move back in. You can have supervised visits with your children. Problem solved. I don't know. I guess he was going to make something up. You can have anybody arrested. All you have to do is file charges. It may not last in court but I'd still be arrested. Link to comment
LaHermes Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 6 minutes ago, Mommy1995 said: I thought maybe I'd get some new opinions. Not a chance OP. No responsible person here or anywhere else would tell you anything different. This is an abusive and possibly even dangerous individual. I agree with what Bolt says above. And what DF says is spot on: "OP, please get proper legal advice on how to go about getting rid of this abusive psycho. That includes filing a restraining order. Don't go it alone because you don't know how to do it properly and people here also are not lawyers with knowledge of your local laws and procedures." and "your ideas of love and relationships are clearly damaged and off." You do need help, OP, and quickly. Link to comment
Mommy1995 Posted June 3, 2021 Author Share Posted June 3, 2021 2 minutes ago, DancingFool said: OP, please get proper legal advice on how to go about getting rid of this abusive psycho. That includes filing a restraining order. Don't go it alone because you don't know how to do it properly and people here also are not lawyers with knowledge of your local laws and procedures. As for this man, YOU need to decide to be done and be done. For as long as you think his contact and pursuit of you means something positive, as opposed to psycho, you will be stuck. Abusers do not change and do not love or care about you. He does care about his power and control over you. That's a completely different thing. If you walk away, he lost his power and he can't stand the idea of that. It is all about him, nothing to do with you, other than you are his punching bag. You also need counseling and desperately so because your ideas of love and relationships are clearly damaged and off. THANK YOU! This is the best post I've seen as of yet!! Link to comment
DancingFool Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 1 minute ago, Mommy1995 said: I don't know. I guess he was going to make something up. You can have anybody arrested. All you have to do is file charges. It may not last in court but I'd still be arrested. This is precisely why you need to arm yourself with an attorney, stop trying to do things yourself, and stop all contact with him. Let the lawyer deal with him and they will. They have tons of experience with handling these types of losers. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Do you think someone who wanted you back for the right reasons would threaten to have you arrested? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 5 minutes ago, Mommy1995 said: I don't know. I guess he was going to make something up. You can have anybody arrested. All you have to do is file charges. It may not last in court but I'd still be arrested. No, you cannot just have someone arrested. Who told you that? Him? If that were true people could just accuse someone of a crime and the jails and courts would be filled to overflowing. No, he cannot have you arrested. You didn't respond to the rest of my post. If you love the "attention" he gives you, then give up your kids and stay with him. You don't have to divorce him if you don't want to. But get your poor innocent kids away from him. Link to comment
LaHermes Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 1 minute ago, boltnrun said: If you love the "attention" he gives you, then give up your kids and stay with him. You don't have to divorce him if you don't want to. But get your poor innocent kids away from him. Yeh. What can one say? DF's advice stands, and indeed we all advised you from day one to see a lawyer. Link to comment
Mommy1995 Posted June 3, 2021 Author Share Posted June 3, 2021 1 minute ago, boltnrun said: No, you cannot just have someone arrested. Who told you that? Him? If that were true people could just accuse someone of a crime and the jails and courts would be filled to overflowing. No, he cannot have you arrested. You didn't respond to the rest of my post. If you love the "attention" he gives you, then give up your kids and stay with him. You don't have to divorce him if you don't want to. But get your poor innocent kids away from him. If you lie and say someone did something to you, you can have them arrested. I know this for a fact. At least, it's that way in my state. I don't want to stay with him but it's hard to get away from him. I know I need counseling to see why I cling to such abusive relationships. I am working on that. Link to comment
gamon Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 1 hour ago, Mommy1995 said: I did file an order of protection and then he told me he was going to have me arrested and so I dropped it. Do not believe anything he says. He does not have your best interests in mind. Link to comment
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