My girlfriend thinks I cheated on her but I have proof I didn’t

[Nathanmelki]

So my girlfriend broke up with me because she thinks I cheated on her and is scared of meeting up with me or talking to me now, I’ve been blocked on all platforms and her sister isn’t helping me.

is it a good idea to show up at her house to give her proof that I didn’t cheat on her ?

[MissCanuck]

10 minutes ago, Nathanmelki said:

is it a good idea to show up at her house to give her proof that I didn’t cheat on her ?

No, that's not a good idea. 

She's made it very clear she doesn't want to hear from you. Showing up where you're not invited and not welcome is going to make things worse. If she's refusing to speak to you, then there's really no sense in forcing the issue with someone who isn't interested in hearing you out. 

But what is the backstory: why does she think you cheated, and what is your proof that you didn't? 

[Nathanmelki]

So she seen a message on my phone to a old friend and thinks I met her and cheated , 

now I have cctv at my house which shows that I didn’t leave home that day or no one came over either 

[MissCanuck]

6 minutes ago, Nathanmelki said:

So she seen a message on my phone to a old friend and thinks I met her and cheated , 

now I have cctv at my house which shows that I didn’t leave home that day or no one came over either 

And what was the content of the message?

[Nathanmelki]

16 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

No, that's not a good idea. 

She's made it very clear she doesn't want to hear from you. Showing up where you're not invited and not welcome is going to make things worse. If she's refusing to speak to you, then there's really no sense in forcing the issue with someone who isn't interested in hearing you out. 

But what is the backstory: why does she think you cheated, and what is your proof that you didn't? 

So she seen a message on my phone to a old friend and thinks Imet her and cheated , 

now I have cctv at my house which shows that I didn’t leave home that day or no one ca

6 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

And what was the content of the message?

It was friendly but I tried to hide it , and then I admitted to talking to her .

this was almost 5 months ago she blocked me for a month then I bumped into her and we were talking for 2 months then I asked to see her she refused and I kind of over reacted and said I was gonna come to her house 

[Nathanmelki]

I feel like I need to get the proof to her that nothing happened at all then she can make her mind up after that 

[MissCanuck]

Just now, Nathanmelki said:

his was almost 5 months ago she blocked me for a month then I bumped into her and we were talking for 2 months then I asked to see her she refused and I kind of over reacted and said I was gonna come to her house 

This was 5 months ago? 

This relationship is over. She doesn't want to be back together, so she's refusing to hear you out.  

My guess is that she was looking for a way out of the relationship, and took this as her opportunity. Most people would be relieved if their partner offered to prove that nothing nefarious happened. When they're not even willing to discuss it, eh...the relationship is already toast. 

Time to accept that it's done, so you can move on.

[Nathanmelki]

7 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

This was 5 months ago? 

This relationship is over. She doesn't want to be back together, so she's refusing to hear you out.  

My guess is that she was looking for a way out of the relationship, and took this as her opportunity. Most people would be relieved if their partner offered to prove that nothing nefarious happened. When they're not even willing to discuss it, eh...the relationship is already toast. 

Time to accept that it's done, so you can move on.

No though because she came back for 2 months and was saying she’s fearful that I will do it again but the problem is I didn’t have the proof then I had to send my home cctv system to get it restored 

[Nathanmelki]

So it’s been a month and a half since she completely ghosted me now 

[Nathanmelki]

And I just got the proof 5 days ago 

[MissCanuck]

Dude, it's over. 

Just leave her be. She's using this as an excuse not to date you anymore. 

[Nathanmelki]

Just now, MissCanuck said:

Dude, it's over. 

Just leave her be. She's using this as an excuse not to date you anymore. 

But then why did she come back for 2 months 

[Nathanmelki]

Just now, Nathanmelki said:

But then why did she come back for 2 months 

Like I don’t care anymore if it’s over I need to prove that I didn’t cheat so I can get my closure that this isn’t the only reason 

[MissCanuck]

4 minutes ago, Nathanmelki said:

But then why did she come back for 2 months 

Probably because she was lonely and wanted attention. 

She didn't stay back. That is the point. She isn't interested in trying to work this out. My guess is she's met another guy who's taking up her time now. 

[Nathanmelki]

2 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

She’s 30 years old and I’m her first boyfriend her family has told me that she a a virgin she’s not the type to just jump to another guy 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Nathanmelki said:

Is it a good idea to show up at her house to give her proof that I didn’t cheat on her ?

No. 🛑

How long were you dating? 

What exactly was the alleged cheating?

Let the dust settle. Don't circumvent blocking by trespassing.

Maybe you two just weren't meant to be together. Reflect on this accusation and if you want jealousy like this in a relationship.

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, Nathanmelki said:

1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

She’s 30 years old and I’m her first boyfriend her family has told me that she a a virgin she’s not the type to just jump to another guy 

So?

That doesn't mean she's not changing and growing. It's also a bit naïve to assume her family knows all the details about her sex life, and why on earth are they even sharing this with you?

You mentioned that her sister is not helping. Have you been trying to get to her through her sister, or..?

[boltnrun]

"Closure" is when you realize and accept the relationship is over.  It isn't something you "get" from an ex.

You know you're not a cheater.  That's all you need.

[smackie9]

It's not going to get her back. She will come up with another reason not to believe you. She made her decision, let her have it.

[catfeeder]

You can 'right fight' all you want, and you can even 'win' the argument. That doesn't mean you can repair someone who has a broken part that won't trust another adult.

Even if you influence this woman to give it another shot, she's too trigger-happy with the mistrust to last with you--or anyone--for very long.

You can obsess if you want, it's not against the law. It just won't gain this woman the trust that she likely needs some years of therapy to gain.

That's not your fault--and you can't fix it.

[greendots]

Question: Do you really want to be with a woman who doesn't trust you? Imagine being married to someone like that for the rest of your life. You'd have to show her proof every time she didn't trust you. Do you really believe this is a great way to live?

[SooSad33]

On 1/17/2021 at 6:56 AM, Nathanmelki said:

she blocked me for a month then I bumped into her and we were talking for 2 months then I asked to see her she refused and I kind of over reacted and said I was gonna come to her house 

 

On 1/17/2021 at 7:13 AM, Nathanmelki said:

I need to prove that I didn’t cheat so I can get my closure that this isn’t the only reason 

No, you do not go to her house.  No you should not be 'over reacting'.  So, you two were talking, that's it.

As mentioned, you do not need to prove yourself 'to get closure'..closure is on you.

She has stated herself as not interested in seeing you.  Now, YOU need to accept this.

Leave her be.. do not bother her anymore.

[Tinydance]

To me it seems that she literally didn't give a chance to explain yourself properly. She acted very over the top by breaking up when she really had no actual proof that you cheated. She didn't care about waiting to see your CCTV and basically gave you no chance and just dumped you. This either points to the fact that she doesn't want to be with you anyway or that she's a very jealous and suspicious person. In both cases she doesn't sound like a good person to be in a relationship with. She's blocked you on everything and it's been 1.5 months so she doesn't really care about you or want to hear from you. If she wanted to be with you then she would have allowed you to show the CCTV and tried to believe you. If you're blocked on everything I don't think just turning up to her house announced is a good idea. It would make you look like a stalker and pretty desperate. If you ever hear from her again then you can try saying you need closure and for her to see the CCTV footage. You also don't even know if she even wants to see this footage. Maybe she has no interest in seeing it anyway because she doesn't want to see you or get back together.

[Cherylyn]

She has already made up her mind that she doesn't trust you.  Let her go and let her be. 

You know your truth.  You don't have to prove anything to her. 

You deserve better.  Don't bother her. 

[Spawn]

Live your life mate, I bet you want to be with someone who trusts you and will talk to you if something bothers her. She is not that kind of person to be honest.