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should i try again?


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Hey everyone! I was seeing/talking to someone for the last 3 months. He started getting distant and then told me he was too busy with work to pursue anything further. I always knew he was busy with work and never pushed to hangout, but now I'm worried that made him feel like I wasn't interested. Should I reach out to him and let him know I am into him and don't want things to end? We haven't talked in about 2 weeks and I hate it.

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This is always a tough dilemma because you have feelings, you care how you come across. So you worry that you seem disinterested.

 

I'm sorry... but he dumped you. He said he doesn't have time to pursue anything. That was a conscious decision. And a pretty cold one depending on how much you were talking and seeing each other.

 

I'd move on. Why give him the satisfaction and ego boost that you care so much, when he doesn't? You can find better.

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I'm confused - why would you think he didn't think you were interested just because you weren't pushy? It's good you weren't pushy. He's not too busy with work -he's not interested in dating you. How long did you date in person? I'm sorry but this is an excuse. I was always insanely busy at work and only got involved with insanely busy people. We always made time for each other. I'm sorry it didn't work out.

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If someone likes you or is into you they will make time for you even if it’s a limited amount of time...time will be made. You don’t end a relationship with someone you like because you’re busy. Do yourself a favor move on and if he reaches back out to you tell him you’re busy.

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He started getting distant and then told me he was too busy with work to pursue anything further

 

We haven't talked in about 2 weeks and I hate it.

 

-Should you reach out? No. Just walk away.

 

You two haven't spoken in 2 weeks.. and he already said he was too busy to persue anything further - says enough.

 

IF someone is truly into you, you'll know it.

 

Move on

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Looks like you are seeking any reason to reach out. It is clear that he does not want anything.

 

How many times did you see one another?

 

I wonder why you would want to settle for someone who told you from the beginning that he would not have time due to work? Are you seeking a relationship, or someone to see occasionally?

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No, don’t reach out.

 

You not pushing to see him isn’t the reason he called it off. If anyone needed to express interest and try to make it work again, that would be him. You’re blaming yourself because it gives you some semblance of control over the situation and thinking that if you did something differently, you’d still be together. However, that’s not what happened here.

 

This one is on him.

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Never grovel nor pursue a man after he made it clear to you that he's too busy for you which is another way of telling you to get lost. :upset: He's not interested in you nor a relationship with you. I'm sorry.

 

You deserve much better and you deserve to be treated with respect. Consider him history and move on.

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Sorry to hear that. There's nothing to "try again".

 

No one is too busy for what they're interested in. It's best to move on with other men you are talking to and meeting who show an interest in communication and dating.

 

Unfortunately "busy" just means not interested.

Hey everyone! I was seeing/talking to someone for the last 3 months. He started getting distant and then told me he was too busy with work to pursue anything further. I always knew he was busy with work and never pushed to hangout, but now I'm worried that made him feel like I wasn't interested. Should I reach out to him and let him know I am into him and don't want things to end? We haven't talked in about 2 weeks and I hate it.
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thank you, still trying to work out in my head how things can go from great to too busy in one day. I hate dating :(

 

Because they often don't - what is "great" is not always what is lasting. Great can be fleeting as a feeling especially in the beginning or a perception on only one side. Great that is lasting most often requires a much longer period of time over which you get to know each other and see each other through different seasons, holidays, illnesses, work deadlines, family and friend gatherings, tornado watches, vacations. Etc. I dated for decades. I hated a lot of it too. The goal of marriage and family was the only thing that made it worth it. There are no guarantees but you gotta be in it to win it. I'm sorry this one didn't work out.

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Because they often don't - what is "great" is not always what is lasting. Great can be fleeting as a feeling especially in the beginning or a perception on only one side. Great that is lasting most often requires a much longer period of time over which you get to know each other and see each other through different seasons, holidays, illnesses, work deadlines, family and friend gatherings, tornado watches, vacations. Etc. I dated for decades. I hated a lot of it too. The goal of marriage and family was the only thing that made it worth it. There are no guarantees but you gotta be in it to win it. I'm sorry this one didn't work out.

 

thank you, you are right

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Sorry to hear that. There's nothing to "try again".

 

No one is too busy for what they're interested in. It's best to move on with other men you are talking to and meeting who show an interest in communication and dating.

 

Unfortunately "busy" just means not interested.

 

thank you for your reply

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Never grovel nor pursue a man after he made it clear to you that he's too busy for you which is another way of telling you to get lost. :upset: He's not interested in you nor a relationship with you. I'm sorry.

 

You deserve much better and you deserve to be treated with respect. Consider him history and move on.

 

thank you, I need to work on reading between the lines and not taking what people say at face value

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No, don’t reach out.

 

You not pushing to see him isn’t the reason he called it off. If anyone needed to express interest and try to make it work again, that would be him. You’re blaming yourself because it gives you some semblance of control over the situation and thinking that if you did something differently, you’d still be together. However, that’s not what happened here.

 

This one is on him.

 

thank you for your reply. that makes sense

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thank you, I need to work on reading between the lines and not taking what people say at face value

 

No, that's not true at all. Words are words =watch the feet- the actions -over time -not the lips. Take what he said at face value for that moment in time. If someone asks you out for a specific time and place or at least "let's do something Saturday night, call you Wednesday to confirm the details" - take that at face value. If someone says it's going great, it is, for that time. If someone ends up lying to you then that is not a person you can trust. Take what the person says in context -do you know the person well? How long? How long have you known her or him to be reliable and live up to promises and show integrity and character and values?

 

He's too busy because you are not his priority. He's too busy to make time for you. People may not want to unnecessarily hurt your feelings so they won't add "for you". But it is true -he's too busy at work to make time for a relationship with you. It hurts not to be someone's priority. Put it this way -a man who wants to date you will ask you out on a date he plans in advance. A man who wants a potential future with you will ask you out reliably, ask you not to date anyone else and tell you he doesn't plan to and tell you why -because you are a priority and he wants to see if you two have a future together so dating others would be a distraction/inconsistent.

 

There's no "work" here. It's really simple. Not easy, but simple.

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When a man uses the "busy" excuses it means that he's just not that into you. There is not much you could do to change it and pursuing him or hanging waiting usually doesn't make them pursue you, on the contrary. Keep away and don't contact him.

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"Too busy" usually translates to "not interested." Rather than contacting him, I'd retain my self-respect.

 

This... if you continue pursuing him after this he will lose respect for you. Once a guy decides he isn't interested (aka too busy) there is no changing his mind about it.

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