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Would love some advice on this guy situation!


emiliam

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So I met this boy at a summer camp in 2018 and liked him basically straight away. We had quite a lot in common, and he was funny and sweet and we got along well. On the last night of camp at the party, we dance together and I thought that he liked me. I got his number and we texted pretty much everyday for about 3 weeks. He then came to my town with a lot of other people from camp for the weekend, and we still talked in person but not as much and I got the sense that maybe he didn’t like me anymore - but it was so hard to tell. I felt guilty after the weekend as everyone else knew but him and I thought he should know, so I told him that I liked him. His response was very confusing, he never said whether he liked me or not, so I hung onto the hope that he would for the next few months until we saw each other again. It was awkward for the first couple of days at camp the next summer (2019) but then we were just friends again, hanging out and I enjoyed spending time with him, even though it was mostly in a group. At the final party, once again I thought that there might be something there between us. We saw each other again in September for a weekend and haven’t seen each other since, just messaged briefly a couple of times. Should I just give up on this? I’ve really tried to before but always end up hanging onto the hope that he does like me, or he did like me and I can rekindle the spark. Thank you for reading all of this (it was definitely lengthy) and I’d love advice from anybody! ❤️

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Hi,

 

If a guy likes you he’ll let you know. He won’t let months go by between meets and conversations. I think it’s best you move forward and date others. If this guy does come back into the picture expressing his feelings then there’s that. I however wouldn’t wait around.

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Yes, you should give up on him as relationship material because obviously, to him, you're just a friend and texting buddy which is all there is between you two.

 

If he liked you, he would've told you he liked you yet he hasn't and won't.

 

Stop humiliating yourself. Either retain him as a "friends only" basis or treat him as a mere peaceful, very civil, polite, respectful, gracious, well-mannered acquaintance at annual summer camps and nothing more.

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I don't necessarily agree that if a guys likes you he'll let you know. Some will, depending on how eager they are to sleep with you, and how good they are at doing that, but most guys wont.

 

However, if you have told a guy that you like him, and then he doesn't make it clear if he likes you or not, he isn't interested.

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At this young age, when you're only seeing each other a few times a year, it's just not very logical that something longterm can come of this. As the song lyrics from a Crosby, Stills & Nash song says: If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

 

Basically, this is the time of life where you're meeting the most people your age, than you will ever meet. That means that teens are being exposed daily to a huge pool of attractive people, so investing in someone who pops physically into your life a few times a year is not the route most want to go.

 

Stop investing your time in being a text buddy, since your goal of being his gf is not his goal. Only invest time with people who give an equal effort in a shared goal.

 

The closure will allow you to move on, instead of being stuck on an emotional merry-go-round that takes you in useless circles.

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