Current situation

[boltnrun]

Then stop trying to get her back already!!!

 

Yeah, yeah, you are one month no contact. Not by your choice I presume. But you flip flop between being angry and trying to get her to want you back.

 

It's over. Accept it's over and let it go.

[ninjabib]

She walked away from this relationship way to easily for my taste. She made no attempt to fix things. Most people are ready to forgive, even worse things like cheating, let alone a fight. No more dating single mothers for me, there's a reason they are single.

 

Your taste is irrelevant to her. She walked away. It's done. I'm glad you are now moving on.

[RicBoy]

She will reach out sooner or later because of the kids. Lets see what happens. My son will move here in June or July, he is with my parents at the moment ina different country.

My birthday is in one month from now. If she doesn't reach out by then, Im totally forgetting her.

I wanted to build a family with her and the kids, she doesnt want it, her loss....its been working out really well for her so far, a bunch of failed relationships, 33 years old single with a daughter who has mental issues.

 

I fix homes for living, every day 2 or 3 homes. Every week i meet some old lady 70 years old, single home alone, no kids, no family, no friends...all these girls these days cant settle down, too picky, walk away too fast, then end up single and alone at age of 70 and wonder why

[boltnrun]

How about totally forgetting her now? How will a birthday text change anything?

 

You seem like you hate this woman, the way you describe her. Do you want her back because you love her or because you're angry and want to prove a point?

 

Forget her now, not a month from now. Seriously.

[RicBoy]

I dont like how girls behave these days, walk away so easily. Everything is an issue, they cant sit and talk things out. I never dumped anyone in my life. If im with a girl, thats it for me, i dont need anything else. I dont care if theres hotter girls, or better personality or more compatible, i really dont care....Even if a girl would get fat, or made a problem, im always down to work things out, fix things, see wheres the issue etc...I would only leave a girl if she cheated on me.

 

anyways im done here. I hope she finds whatever she is looking for in life.

[ninjabib]

Stop going on those red pill forums, they are full of bitter losers from what i've seen. A real man wouldn't hold himself victim to one womans poor actions. He also wouldn't then label a whole gender the same. Focus on you and your kid OP. Forget all the other noise.

[ThatwasThen]

I dont like how girls behave these days, walk away so easily. Everything is an issue, they cant sit and talk things out. I never dumped anyone in my life. If im with a girl, thats it for me, i dont need anything else. I dont care if theres hotter girls, or better personality or more compatible, i really dont care....Even if a girl would get fat, or made a problem, im always down to work things out, fix things, see wheres the issue etc...I would only leave a girl if she cheated on me.

 

You'd do well to address your codependency issues with a professional. It's really not a virtue to stick it out in a dysfunctional relationship... it's an unhealthy emotional/mental state that keeps someone in a dysfunctional relationship. The key is to get with someone who you are sympatico with, someone you get along with, someone who has your same attachment style and to know when to leave once you have discovered that those attributes are not there.

[boltnrun]

Also, do you think you have the right to shove women down? You think that is a forgivable act? Because it was "only once"?

 

I fail to see any remorse for this act. Instead you are minimizing it.

 

Abuse is never OK. I don't give one crap about what the red pill women haters say about it. Let them shove women and see how successful they are at attracting any women at all.

[RicBoy]

Anything is forgiveable and I seriously doubt it that she left me for that. Pretty sure she was feeling smothered because of my pushy controlling behavior, and she just used it to leave. Actually she didn't leave, she asked time to think but then 5 days later I showed up at her place unannounced and she freaked out when I rang the bell 10 times or so.. She didn't open up and I looked in her window to see if she was home. And she freaked out came outside and gave me my laptop and all my clothes and said she was a shaking and scared and ended things right there.

 

I worked with her for the following month, was very hard for me to see her everyday. I couldn't control myself and I bombarded her with texts and calls for a month.

 

After a month I got fired. I think it was her who pulled the strings to fire me. I went no contact for 5 weeks. She reached out then like a little nice girl "hi, I hope things are going good for you"...then I kept chasing.. The rest of the story you guys already know.

[boltnrun]

No, "anything" is not forgivable just because you say so.

 

I would not forgive a man who thought it was OK to shove me down, then showed up blowing up my doorbell.

 

Again, you are describing a woman whom you seem to despise. So, why do you want her back? Ego?

[RicBoy]

It had been one month no contact. Would be valid say in another month or 2, to sincere apologize to her or is it better to just let it be?

 

I wonder if being up the past and all negativity again apologizing later on if it's a bad idea? Also letting her know inrhs later in still dwelling on this bad idea?

[ninjabib]

Never contact her again for any reason. If she contacts to arrange to see your kid ignore it and block her number. In fact do that now.

[RicBoy]

Why would I block her? She didn't do anything wrong here. I did

[ninjabib]

Blocking and deleting her number stops you from contacting her.

[RicBoy]

I have enough emotional control to not reach out. If I ever do is really with the intend to truly apologize with no agenda. Having said that, maybe apologizing down the line will serve no porpose most likely, will just remind her of all the negativity from the past and will tell her I haven't moved on.

[Seraphim]

No, not everything is forgive able. I’m not sure who told you unconditional love is for partners but that’s not true. Partner love is completely conditional.

[ninjabib]

You've already apologised. You can't keep apologising until you reach apology number 1000 and then she magically takes you back. It doesn't work like that.

[RicBoy]

You've already apologised. You can't keep apologising until you reach apology number 1000 and then she magically takes you back. It doesn't work like that.

 

Yeah I understand that. But an apology after 5 min. of doing something wrong is not the same as an apology after 3 months of silence for example. What do you think?

[Seraphim]

Yeah I understand that. But an apology after 5 min. of doing something wrong is not the same as an apology after 3 months of silence for example. What do you think?

 

No difference dude; you acted nuts. Leave it.

[Wiseman2]

These posts seem like a bot given the repetition.

What do you think?

[boltnrun]

Leave her alone. Forever.

 

Seek therapy.

[RicBoy]

My case

[No1]

RicBoy. Okay, let me ask you a few questions. 1. If you have apologized "a million times" what makes you think this time you apologize it will change anything? 3. Why do you feel the need to keep the lines of communication open? 3. Do you believe by being around in her circle no matter how far you are, she will look at you as a romantic partner again? 4. Do you really believe that physical abuse has levels? Example would be that a shove is okay but a punch is the next level? 5. Do you believe its okay for you to use your child as a bridge between you and your X? 6. Have you ever listened to your X? Do you respect her? Do you think she needs your help, do you think that her life will be harder without you? 7. What is it you want for her? If you want her happy and if that means you leaving her life would you do it? 8. Do you think you are being selfish or helpful? 9. Have you ever put yourself in her shoes and looked at the situation from her eyes? 10. Have you thought about getting professional help?

 

Here is the thing. You have gotten advice and each reply you quickly dismiss it or rationalize your behavior. Its like you are waiting for someone to tell you what you want to hear and you are just buying your time for that one person to say Yes, the woman you abuse mentally and physically wants you back. And by her telling you that she wants nothing to do with you, its just a game to get you back. Is that what you are waiting for?

 

Now. You don't want to hear the obvious which is, just leave her alone. Just don't pick up her daughter and completely separate her life and her kid from your life and your kid. You mentioned that you have done that and she got mad. Then you let her get mad because you having your own life is important. Don't justify or rationalize a reason to stay in her life. She has told you that you will not be romantic with her ever again. So why do you feel its important for you to remain in her circle?