HeartGoesOn Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 I keep trying to walk away from this ...but hey ho Ask any parent here * would you let your child go with someone you cannot contact * just another in the 101 reasons why this is a bad idea .... No, and if I did I wouldn't consider myself a parent. Ms Pippy...I prefer green tea w/lemon. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 No, and if I did I wouldn't consider myself a parent. Ms Pippy...I prefer green tea w/lemon. Consider it done my lovely lovely darling xx Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 I keep trying to walk away from this ...but hey ho Ask any parent here * would you let your child go with someone you cannot contact * just another in the 101 reasons why this is a bad idea .... Never ever. Also of course they can be friends - they can do things together that do not involve having her take them to her house. You can go to a public place where the kids play and you can watch your kid play without interacting with her other than in the most impersonal way. You do not then need to interact with her child at all nor does she need to interact with yours. Better yet have her babysitter or friend or relative bring her child to a playdate at a public place. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 Never ever. Also of course they can be friends - they can do things together that do not involve having her take them to her house. You can go to a public place where the kids play and you can watch your kid play without interacting with her other than in the most impersonal way. You do not then need to interact with her child at all nor does she need to interact with yours. Better yet have her babysitter or friend or relative bring her child to a playdate at a public place. Yes there are loads of ways to do this other then the plan at hand if they really want to play together . I honestly feel like this is almost an act of control on her part .... *I have you blocked , I refuse any communication , you are an ex and this is over ..but , I am going to message your child , come to your house and pick him up and you can just suck it up * She is a piece of work . Link to comment
SarahLancaster Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 No, and if I did I wouldn't consider myself a parent. Ms Pippy...I prefer green tea w/lemon. I tried green tea once. Tastes like seaweed. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 Yes there are loads of ways to do this other then the plan at hand if they really want to play together . I honestly feel like this is almost an act of control on her part .... *I have you blocked , I refuse any communication , you are an ex and this is over ..but , I am going to message your child , come to your house and pick him up and you can just suck it up * She is a piece of work . I was thinking the same thing pippy! Seems to be a control tug of war. And honestly any mother who thinks it’s ok to take a child leaving the parent no ability to reach them is down right insane. You may have shared bodily fluids but you haven’t even known this woman for a full year! You absolutely CAN contact her to cancel and you know it. Get your kids phone, call her, tell her this is ridiculous, the kids can FaceTime and text, once time has passed and were both better maybe they can have play dates but it’s down right ridiculous to do this and I won’t. I’m sorry and good bye, hang up walk away. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 You absolutely CAN contact her to cancel and you know it. Get your kids phone, call her, tell her this is ridiculous, the kids can FaceTime and text, once time has passed and were both better maybe they can have play dates but it’s down right ridiculous to do this and I won’t. I’m sorry and good bye, hang up walk away. ^^^ There you go ...you don't even need to think what to say now ..it is right there for you . Link to comment
j.man Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 You know this ****s with your kid's head, right? The woman isn't her mother. Granted, I'm going off the assumption that she didn't step parent the child for 15 years, but you need to grab your crotch and give it a solid squeeze. Should be two ovular objects hanging there. It's one thing if you wanna put yourself out because you can't / don't want to get over her. It's another to adversely affect your child for it. Cancel the visit. Exercise your responsibility as your child's father. Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 So are you seeing if you can get back together with both women? It had that vibe. Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 I'm going to be frank here. You've got to take a few thousand deep breaths and commit to straightening your spine and getting your head screwed on. It will take some time—a year, say—but it will be worth it. It means 365 days straight without worrying too much about the head between your legs. When I read you saying certain things, about showing off your "dignity" and "respect" by letting a nine year old make his own plans with an adult—well, it's just very hard to read. It makes me very, very sad for your child. He is a human being. A very small one, at that. An actual child, not a pawn in a childish game. There are mature adults out there who could allow a friendship between their children to continue after their relationship fizzled. You, I'm sorry, are not such an adult, as you wouldn't be posting here otherwise. You'd be having a cordial exchange with your ex, rather than leaving your child—a child!—to arrange playdates with an adult. Except, actually, you wouldn't even be doing that because you wouldn't have fast-tracked things into a mock blended family with someone you'd only known a few months, which is to say you'd never have gotten involved with this woman in the first place, as she's missing a few key chips in the operating system herself... I mean, do you see how loopy all this is? Here's the thing: it's so easy to stop too, if you really want to grow up. Looks like this: after you read this post you text your ex and cancel this playdate. Non-dramatic, straightforward: "After some thought I've decided it's not a good idea for our children to spend more time together. Thanks for understanding, and happy holidays." And then you block her number—and that is that, the end of this and the first tiny, belated step toward adulthood, not flipping through "Atomic Attraction" during a lull in romantic drama. From there you focus on your kid, and on letting this nonsense go. It'll pass if you let it, like a kidney stone: painful, but totally within the capacity of all humans. Enjoy holidays with your child and his mother. Try—please, please try—not to use them to respark things. You are not ready. You need 350 more days or so, and they'd be much better spent establishing a mature, adult relationship with her than a fraught romantic one to replace the fraught romance you're currently with-drawling from. Sounds like climbing Everest, I know, but it's really not. You will thank yourself next Christmas for the man you've become, and your son will thank you for life, and throughout life. Couldn't have put it better. Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 Bro, I'm blocked everywhere. Unless I get a new sim card, there's no way to contact her That is a convenient excuse. She is texting your son. Text back on his phone. "I have given this some thought, and I do not think it is a good idea. JuniorRicboy will not be staying with you. signed Ricboy" Link to comment
boltnrun Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 That is a convenient excuse. She is texting your son. Text back on his phone. "I have given this some thought, and I do not think it is a good idea. JuniorRicboy will not be staying with you. signed Ricboy" He hasn't said he doesn't want his child to go. Therefore, I conclude that he DOES want his child to go. Presumably because he wants to appear to be friendly and reasonable so she'll consider taking him back. The other ex coming for Christmas does throw a monkey wrench into that. Maybe, OP, you are hedging your bets in case Ex #1 doesn't want to reconcile? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 woooaaa hold on .... so your ex isn;t in a friendship with the kids mother or a relationship with you and she is taking your kid for the night and arranging it behind your kids mum and your backs ...no ..nope , not happening ... unless I have read that all wrong . I agree! This should have been shut down! No backbone and putting his needs before the kid. Really unbelievable. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 I tried green tea once. Tastes like seaweed. Japanese or Chinese? Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 I tried green tea once. Tastes like seaweed. I like those seaweed munchies that come in the sheets. Way more healthy than potato chips/crisps covered in salt. Also, if a significant percentage of cattle farmers across the globe fed their stock with seaweed based cattle feed, then apparently the cattle would get all the nutrients they need - and would also stop farting methane to the point that there would be a discernible impact on global warming. So I hope, Ms Sarah, you like seaweed, because you should. Link to comment
Billie28 Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 I haven’t read even a quarter of this thread. But what I did read was that a 9 year old child has a phone and anyone can contact that child. Without the parent knowing unless the child tells them? So, basically a 9 year old child told his father that he is going out on Saturday and won’t be back til Sunday!! Good luck with the teenage years!!!! Sorry, but no normal parent arranges a sleep over for their kids without contacting the parents first. Exes are NOT excluded from that! If your child wants to continue a friendship with her child , that’s fine. But it can ONLY happen if you both communicate amicably. If you can’t do that then your child needs to drop the friend. End of story. Yes the child loses out but only because of the parents immaturity. What are you going to do? I suggest remove the phone, get a kid friendly alternative to a phone where you control the contacts in it. There are so many available! And start being a responsible parent ! Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 Just for the record ...I like what green tea does ...the goodness in it , but damn I can't drink the stuff ..my emily has dressed it up with ginger and allsorts and I still can't drink it . I love seaweed though Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 I haven’t read even a quarter of this thread. You don't need to anyway , it is 7 pages of us on rinse repeat . Link to comment
SarahLancaster Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 Japanese or Chinese? Holly, I don't know which it was. Is there a difference? Link to comment
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