Chrys31 Posted April 9, 2019 Author Share Posted April 9, 2019 Lemon means no good. Mojo means sex appeal and charisma. You're dating lemons and your personality may not be so great. Sorry. Hahhahah ok whatever ýou say dude Link to comment
bluecastle Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 Hahhahah ok whatever ýou say dude And, with that, I suspect you actually just proved Rose Mosse's theory. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted April 9, 2019 Author Share Posted April 9, 2019 And, with that, I suspect you actually just proved Rose Mosse's theory. Hardly. Actually. Something very weird is going on . This guy im on a date with. Number 3. He uses the same chatlines as number 4. Same things also about their lives and same area. Dunno if thats a coincidence. Even he told me something very specific that number 4 told me, that he doesnt like caffeine. Very weird Link to comment
bluecastle Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 Chrys? Are you telling me that you are live blogging a date right now on this site? There are, I believe, millions of people on the planet who don't like caffeine. You seem to have something of an obsessive, semi-paranoid lens through which you view men, where you are almost eager to mentally convert the "very normal" into the "very weird." If that's working for you—great. I couldn't imagine trying to connect with someone if it required puncturing through such a level of scrutiny where, say, my own personal dislike of orange juice may set off a "very weird" radar just because they texted with another dude who also didn't like orange juice. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted April 9, 2019 Author Share Posted April 9, 2019 I mean that the details were scarily the same . Link to comment
bluecastle Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 How is a dislike of caffeine "scary"? I live in a city with abnormally good weather, along an ocean, framed by mountains. Nearly everyone I've ever talked to on a dating app likes the weather, hiking, and surfing and/or something ocean-related. Is that "weird"? Look, at this point it's kind of clear that you find more comfort in dissecting dudes on apps than meeting in person. Some part of you more enjoys finding the potential snags than being open to what's probably more realistic: that these are just two dudes in the city of London, who you may or may not vibe with. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 I love coffee and drink it every day. And..... I married a non-coffee drinker and I don't even think he'd know how to make me coffee (um, stir a brown crayon in hot water) - and, yup I married him!! Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 Chrys, I've only read this thread of yours ( as far as I remember). You are giving off an unstabilized vibe. I don't want to hurt your feelings. I think though if that comes across on a forum, maybe it's worth considering. Analyzing with a touch of paranoia because two men don't like caffeine is quite out there. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 I love coffee and drink it every day. And..... I married a non-coffee drinker and I don't even think he'd know how to make me coffee (um, stir a brown crayon in hot water) - and, yup I married him!! Lol Same in my house. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted April 9, 2019 Author Share Posted April 9, 2019 Chrys, I've only read this thread of yours ( as far as I remember). You are giving off an unstabilized vibe. I don't want to hurt your feelings. I think though if that comes across on a forum, maybe it's worth considering. Analyzing with a touch of paranoia because two men don't like caffeine is quite out there. Lol other details were freakishly similar too Link to comment
maew Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 Hardly. Actually. Something very weird is going on . This guy im on a date with. Number 3. He uses the same chatlines as number 4. Same things also about their lives and same area. Dunno if thats a coincidence. Even he told me something very specific that number 4 told me, that he doesnt like caffeine. Very weird Not weird at all... everyone uses the same chat lines when they are meeting people online. Mind you where I live I WOULD be shocked and often am when someone tells me they don't like coffee since we literally have multiple coffee shops on every block in my city and I think people move here just for the coffee... same could also be said for the craft beer microbreweries I mean yea to echo what bluecastle said... depending on where you live there are common themes in terms of the activities people do. In the city I live in pretty much everyone I ever talked to online liked hiking. Like it was rare and shocking to meet someone that had never been or didn't like being outdoors. Because that's what we do here all summer and in some cases year round. Same with winter sports like skiing or snowboarding. I think the point here is that if you look for a problem with everyone you meet you will find one... if you create a bunch of rigid guidelines when it comes to online dating you probably won't meet anyone... I might start by stepping back from the investigative reporting and looking for flaws and just spend some time getting to know who they are. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 Chrys would you say you have anxieties when it comes to men? I’m just basing this on your post style and topics. What’s driving your actions? Distrust without evidence is a common theme with you thus far, it’s quite a leap to assume guy 4 isn’t single. have you been cheated on? To answer your question nothing. This is how people act before they meet, some are flakey, or they change their minds. It’s happpens has you continued you would have chosen one of the four right? My guess is either guy 1 or 4 got your hopes up. My guess was 4 so the others are kinda buffers, they’re fluff to kinda mask asking what you really wanna ask or divulging what’s going on in your head, but you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge as pretty much everyone said you’re putting a lot of energy on total strangers, why? What’s going on with Chrys? Just gonna repost this... Link to comment
Annia Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 The date 2 I may meet him as I said. Guy 1 just bailed. As did guy 4. Even so, on online dating you interact with strangers who have no attachment to you (like they shouldn't, since you don't know each other), and many of them you'll never meet for various reasons. Meeting 1 or 2 guys out of 4 guys you match on a dating app/website is great. On my online dating experience I'd match and interact with many guys, but then there was just a few that it'd translate to a first meet. And out of those very few that we'd continue meeting. To prevent unnecessary chit chat and attachments and because I'm not looking for pen pals or online friends when I online date, I've developed a set of rules that help me navigate online dating. For example: the goal is having a meet and it's during the first meet that I'll decide if I'm interested or not. A meet has to happen within maximum 2 weeks from the matching. I'm even blunt turning the conversation into planning a meet. If in 2 weeks there's not a meet planned (a time and place) I delete. I don't talk much online before the meet. Online chemistry not always translates to in person, so all these interviews online before meeting or talking everyday every time aren't usually useful and create expectations. Of course there has to be some conversation before the first meet, but nothing deep or too much. And sexual innuendos during these pre-meet conversations are also a deal breaker to me. Another thing is that I only meet people who live where I live and are not moving soon. Also meets are supposed to be short and informal/light to get a feeling of the person and always in a public place. Always get there by yourself and leave by yourself. There are many guys that will gladly talk to you online out of boredom or because they want more of a chat buddy than actually meeting, but if you want a relationship you have to avoid those. As I've said several times here, I once met one guy online that lived a few blocks away (like 5 minutes walking from my place). We never met not even for a quick coffee in our area, yet he'd talk to me everyday all the time. I wasn't so assertive at the time, so I let this go on for more than a month. Every time I tried to plan a meet there was always something: working late, tired, needs to get up early next day, busy week, etc. And he literally lived 2 blocks away. I had more guys like this. I now simply delete and move on. Bottom line: don't get too upset or create too much expectations. Also never get hard feelings, no one in the online sphere owes us anything and for all effects they're strangers. Link to comment
Billie28 Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 I hate caffeine lol I have also online dated and I went on numerous meets , dated some. I bailed on more meets than I went on. Why? Because when it came closer to the arranged date of the meet , I just couldn’t be bothered making the effort to get up and go. I’d rather stay home and wash my hair . The reason being those people just didn’t jump out and grab me, nothing to make them stand out from the rest. Rather than focus on your “cases” why don’t you focus on your profile, how you interact etc. Because only you can change the dynamics of your online dating experience. Good luck! Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted April 10, 2019 Author Share Posted April 10, 2019 I hate caffeine lol I have also online dated and I went on numerous meets , dated some. I bailed on more meets than I went on. Why? Because when it came closer to the arranged date of the meet , I just couldn’t be bothered making the effort to get up and go. I’d rather stay home and wash my hair . The reason being those people just didn’t jump out and grab me, nothing to make them stand out from the rest. Rather than focus on your “cases” why don’t you focus on your profile, how you interact etc. Because only you can change the dynamics of your online dating experience. Good luck! Tbh im more inclined to believe that the men who dropped off either they are not really single and realise they won't pull it off for much longer with me or pissed i dont put out that quickly. Either way i dodged a bullet. Now on the date last night. This guy really really had huge similarities with number 4. Same situation same area same chatlines same kid age. Like freakishly same. Unless it is some diabolical coincidence i really would think these two are related somehow. So. The guy asked me at the end of the date if i had a good night and if i would like us to go out again. I said yes that i had a great night and i would love to go out again, we talked about areas were we could go. I thanked him for everything cause throughout the date i really enjoyed and he was a gentleman. The only thing is that he told me on the spot i didn't sound very confident of seeing him again, but really i would like to and i had a great night. So he insisted to get me in a cab home which again i found gentlemanly. The cab would be late around 10 mins but the bus stop was near and the bus was coming so i took the bus and i thanked him again for the nice gesture. My house is 5 mins away anyway. So in the text afterwards i said that i did enjoy everything and i would love for us to meet again. He said he had a good night too and that he wished i let him get me on the cab. I again thanked him for the gesture and he said speak soon with a kissing emoji . Now about his situation. He is a single dad, the kid lives with his mother. About that, he told me that he split up with her 8 months now, but really they are over 2 years. I asked him if he is sure he is over that, as he is tied with her anyway because of the kid and 8 months is not that long. He is really over he said and that if it wasnt for the kid he wouldn't talk to her at all. He said also she is a selfish person and not a good mother. So, i have had a good time yes and i would like to see him again as i conveyed to him, i dunno why he thought at first i didnt sound confident. However, tbh im not too hopeful about it as i dont know the real situation between them and how available he really is. I guess i will see if he calls again but anyhow i will keep moving Link to comment
Honeycomb8 Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Why are you talking about such things on a first date? That is so unnecessary. =_=... Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted April 10, 2019 Author Share Posted April 10, 2019 Why are you talking about such things on a first date? That is so unnecessary. =_=... He asked me personal questions first. And generally i go with the flow of the conversation Link to comment
Honeycomb8 Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Someone trash talking their ex straight away is sending off a red flag. You should have moved the convo along. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted April 10, 2019 Author Share Posted April 10, 2019 Well thats what im saying above. I dunno how available he really is. But i smell a little baby mama drama Link to comment
Annia Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Tbh im more inclined to believe that the men who dropped off either they are not really single and realise they won't pull it off for much longer with me or pissed i dont put out that quickly. Either way i dodged a bullet. Some of them might not be single, but many of them might be single but simply not having the motivation to meet you for various reasons ranging from multidating to just being there to talk (which I don't get why a person would be in a dating app just to talk to someone online and not meet but you have many like this). I've also noticed that there are many people on online date to get their "mojo" and self confidence up after a break up or to find a rebound. These are also the ones that play the field by talking a lot online but never committing to a meet. But yes, these weren't the right person to you and it's best to move on. Link to comment
Annia Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Someone trash talking their ex straight away is sending off a red flag. You should have moved the convo along. I agree. It's often a red flag when guys talk bad about their exes. specially on a first date. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted April 10, 2019 Author Share Posted April 10, 2019 I agree. It's often a red flag when guys talk bad about their exes. specially on a first date. Hmmmm.....I do smell as i said above mama drama. I do not exactly buy that they strictly talking for the kid. Anyhow, lets see, truth is, I had a great time and maybe i would like to see him again if he follows up with me. But I said for some reason he thought i didnt seem confident to see him again when he asked me. But i made sure i let him know that i want to see him again Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Hit and miss and one-and-done are par for the course with online dating. So in order to prevent burnout the entire strategy should be to eliminate time wasters flakes and uninterested people. The best way to do that is stop the excessive chitchat and stop chatting altogether with anyone who flakes, ghosts or won't meet in a timely fashion. You can speculate about people being married etc, but if you want to waste time on that then just watch movies rather than bother with dating sites. Don't date/chitchat online because you are bored. It makes you one of the time wasters that everyone should avoid. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted April 10, 2019 Author Share Posted April 10, 2019 Hit and miss and one-and-done are par for the course with online dating. So in order to prevent burnout the entire strategy should be to eliminate time wasters flakes and uninterested people. The best way to do that is stop the excessive chitchat and stop chatting altogether with anyone who flakes, ghosts or won't meet in a timely fashion. You can speculate about people being married etc, but if you want to waste time on that then just watch movies rather than bother with dating sites. Don't date/chitchat online because you are bored. It makes you one of the time wasters that everyone should avoid. What did you think about the guy yesterday? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 If you waste your own time then they will waste your time.What did you think about the guy yesterday? Link to comment
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