I don't know how in the world I am ever gonna meet someone

[figureitout23]

Based on your posts, you sound as judgemental as the demographic that you criticise. Whether you admit it or not, you would probably not go for a 29 year old, let alone a 31 year old, with what you call a 7 face let alone a 6, yet you feel entitled to someone who will fit all your criteria. Whether you care to admit it or not, there is no way you would go for a 6 nomatter how nice and accomplished they were or there would not be all this league and numbers talk. Your real problem is your preconceived notions about women and your self-esteem issues. In a way your line of thinking is a way a defense mechanism. You reject women long before they have any opportunity to reject you. Seeing a professional therapist might help you see and address your self-sabotaging preconceptions that probably stem from the years when you were struggling with obesity.

 

Thaaaaaank you!

 

OPer read this and then read it again.

[xplorationspac]

Based on your posts, you sound as judgemental as the demographic that you criticise. Whether you admit it or not, you would probably not go for a 29 year old, let alone a 31 year old, with what you call a 7 face let alone a 6, yet you feel entitled to someone who will fit all your criteria. Whether you care to admit it or not, there is no way you would go for a 6 nomatter how nice and accomplished they were or there would not be all this league and numbers talk. Your real problem is your preconceived notions about women and your self-esteem issues. In a way your line of thinking is a way a defense mechanism. You reject women long before they have any opportunity to reject you. Seeing a professional therapist might help you see and address your self-sabotaging preconceptions that probably stem from the years when you were struggling with obesity.

 

the league and numbers talk is really just for the sake of the argument. In real life, I look at a woman and if she's cute and has a decent body, then I am in (assuming the personality is good). I don't sit there and analyze if she's a 10, a 7 or a 8.6886028626

 

I would totally date a 29 or 30 year old. I have a co worker who is 29 who is awesome - we get along like best friends - and I would date her if she was not 80 lbs overweight. Hell I have another co worker who is 32 and nice as can be but alas she is married. The age thing is more because I really don't want kids for another 4-6 years but I want to have 2 kids...it's hard to date anybody over 28-30 when you're in that boat.

 

I'm more picky about body than I am face... I would prefer just a decent face with a great body way more than a great face with an ok body. I'm super turned on by women who work out a lot.

[xplorationspac]

I think I am in the same boat as you OP with minor differences. I just turned 30 this month, live in a suburban area... with really no big city close, have a good job (not making 6 figures unfortunately), stay in shape at gym 6 days a week, and consider myself good looking.

 

I know exactly what you are talking about when approaching girls who are in a social group. It is very awkward and yes their boyfriend might be standing there ready to swing. I don't really want to meet a girl at a bar and would prefer the natural way of it coming about such as having a funny run in with a girl at a grocery store or coffee shop or getting matched through mutual friends.

 

I live in my hometown right now where all the women are pregnant, have kids, married, or dating someone already. Seriously whenever a good looking single girl comes around its like vultures to some roadkill (metaphorical roadkill). I refuse to use tinder, bumble, match, etc...

 

All I know is I am with you on this one. I tend to be picky myself. I have had real love before and it got away from me. Now I just want to find one that I won't let get away from me.

 

P.S. I don't live in some rural tiny city either... it is just mainly suburban and 5 hrs drive to a big city.

 

 

I'm 45 minutes from Chicago - I live in a suburb of over 100K people so it's not a small area

 

 

The problem is that what I want - cute 26 year old professional women - all go crazy for the city. I like partying in the city, going to sports events, concerts, etc... but I want to go home to my peaceful house in the 'burbs.

[reinventmyself]

I'm super turned on by women who work out a lot.

 

You've made that clear

[mustlovedogs]

OP, you're very in to looks, which is fine.

 

But what if you meet the perfect woman and she has your kids and her body changes? She may end up 30-50 lbs overweight and not be able to lose all of it. She may not even have the time to workout (maybe you won't have the time!)

 

Is that ok?

 

Honestly, if weight is a deal breaker, i don't foresee you having kids. Most women don't really ever get their pre baby bodies back.

[xplorationspac]

You've made that clear

 

 

I'm not a personal trainer but I really enjoy doing that for my free time. I've helped tons of my friends get in awesome shape. My best friend went from like a 130 lb little skinny weakling to a 160 LB stud by working out with me.

 

 

If I ever have a girlfriend, it will be a fun project to maximize her body into perfection (assuming she likes to work out). I'm a great personal trainer - I aim for excellent results but I keep it super fun. It makes me happy to see people get results under my guidance and they will usually get fantastic results if they do exactly what I say.

[figureitout23]

the league and numbers talk is really just for the sake of the argument. In real life, I look at a woman and if she's cute and has a decent body, then I am in (assuming the personality is good). I don't sit there and analyze if she's a 10, a 7 or a 8.6886028626

 

I would totally date a 29 or 30 year old. I have a co worker who is 29 who is awesome - we get along like best friends - and I would date her if she was not 80 lbs overweight. Hell I have another co worker who is 32 and nice as can be but alas she is married. The age thing is more because I really don't want kids for another 4-6 years but I want to have 2 kids...it's hard to date anybody over 28-30 when you're in that boat.

 

I'm more picky about body than I am face... I would prefer just a decent face with a great body way more than a great face with an ok body. I'm super turned on by women who work out a lot.

 

Your entire response was a huge contradiction.

 

I'd bet a dollar you are aiming at shallow women who are way out of your league. You may even be doing it knowing full well you will fail.

 

You say you like a coworker but she's fat so that's a no, then you don't want a woman with kids, then she has to be a certain age, then she has to be super fit... but she doesn't... but she does...

 

Does it ever end?

 

The search for the 'unicorn 6'.

[mustlovedogs]

Oh no.

 

Women are not projects. No.

 

That is why you won't meet anyone.

[xplorationspac]

OP, you're very in to looks, which is fine.

 

But what if you meet the perfect woman and she has your kids and her body changes? She may end up 30-50 lbs overweight and not be able to lose all of it. She may not even have the time to workout (maybe you won't have the time!)

 

Is that ok?

 

Honestly, if weight is a deal breaker, i don't foresee you having kids. Most women don't really ever get their pre baby bodies back.

 

 

That's a great question. Answer is...I don't know. I probably need to date somebody who loves fitness and sports as much as I do

 

 

but honestly, I don't know. I'm sure when I fall in love with a woman, I'll be more willing to overlook physical flaws but hopefully those physical flaws won't be overwhelming. There are women at my gym who are mid 50s and in good shape. I probably need to adopt a strict lifestyle when I do have a girlfriend. I can eat absolutely horrible at times and it doesn't bother me at all. I can't eat like that when I have a girlfriend because I don't think most women can eat like a pig like I do without negative consequences. I just had an entire frozen pizza and ate 6 candy bars earlier (I alternate between eating healthy and eating horribly).

[mustlovedogs]

That's a great question. Answer is...I don't know. I probably need to date somebody who loves fitness and sports as much as I do

 

 

but honestly, I don't know. I'm sure when I fall in love with a woman, I'll be more willing to overlook physical flaws but hopefully those physical flaws won't be overwhelming. There are women at my gym who are mid 50s and in good shape. I probably need to adopt a strict lifestyle when I do have a girlfriend. I can eat absolutely horrible at times and it doesn't bother me at all. I can't eat like that when I have a girlfriend because I don't think most women can eat like a pig like I do without negative consequences. I just had an entire frozen pizza and ate 6 candy bars earlier (I alternate between eating healthy and eating horribly).

 

Some women can be fitness freaks and never get their bodies back. It does not matter how amazing you are. If you want kids, you HAVE to be ok with changes.

[xplorationspac]

You say you like a coworker but she's fat so that's a no, then you don't want a woman with kids, then she has to be a certain age, then she has to be super fit... but she doesn't... but she does...

 

I said in the original post I don't want a woman with kids and I can't tolerate overweight...yes I absolutely love women who are super fit but it's not required

 

Long story short, a decent face and decent body is good enough if we are a great match. Obviously I would prefer a good face and fantastic body (who wouldn't??) but I never said it was required

[xplorationspac]

Oh no.

 

Women are not projects. No.

 

what do you mean? I consider everybody who works out with me to be a project as it's my goal to maximize their health and body. If I meet a woman who likes working out, she will want to workout with me and I will do everything I can to make her look amazing.

 

Like I said, I love being a personal trainer in my free time. Makes me very happy to see people get results under my guidance. My best friend completely transformed himself. He went from a skinny little twerp to a very handsome, strong and well built man under my guidance.

[xplorationspac]

Some women can be fitness freaks and never get their bodies back. It does not matter how amazing you are. If you want kids, you HAVE to be ok with changes.

 

 

Well forget kids, aging changes things a lot too so I understand that. I just hope the changes are not overwhelming

 

 

but seriously though, I need to change my eating habits when I get into a serious relationship. I eat like an absolute animal. I don't think there's any woman who can eat with me and not become a hippopotamus.

[xplorationspac]

Your entire response was a huge contradiction.

 

I'd bet a dollar you are aiming at shallow women who are way out of your league. You may even be doing it knowing full well you will fail.

'.

 

just FYI, what's way out of my league?

 

I'm a good looking dude in the face. The only women out of my league in terms of face are models (basically 9s and 10s)...which I don't really even care for all that much. I like women who are just kinda next door cute, natural looking, not much makeup, that kinda stuff. I don't care for bombshells when it comes to the face. I really don't feel like I'm that picky when it comes to the face. Just natural, healthy looking, cute is totally fine.

 

Body wise, nobody is out of my league. I'll put my physique up against anybody in Hollywood or in the world

[Capricorn3]

OP, after reading your posts, I am not in the least surprised you don't find anyone and, carry on as you are, you will live a long and very lonely life. Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but seriously, all you do, throughout your posts is brag, brag, brag and brag some more. You are apparently the best looking Armenian man you have ever known, have the most spectacular body, have big money, best clothes and the list goes on and on and on. Literally everything about yourself is awesome (in YOUR eyes). You clearly don't know the meaning of the word "humble". I can see why women avoid you (I would too). Everything revolves around YOU. All of these traits are extremely unflattering and very off-putting and will make women head for the hills.

 

"an obsessive perfectionist so I always want to improve myself in hopes that I will have better success with women." .... all you're doing here is shooting yourself in the foot.

 

Not lucky in love? Look within. Deep within. YOU are the common denominator. Change the bragging attitude, be a lot more humble and maybe, just maybe, your luck might change - but it will take a LOT of time and work.

[xplorationspac]

OP, after reading your posts, I am not in the least surprised you don't find anyone and, carry on as you are, you will live a long and very lonely life. Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but seriously, all you do, throughout your posts is brag, brag, brag and brag some more. You are apparently the best looking Armenian man you have ever known, have the most spectacular body, have big money, best clothes and the list goes on and on and on. Literally everything about yourself is awesome (in YOUR eyes). You clearly don't know the meaning of the word "humble". I can see why women avoid you (I would too). Everything revolves around YOU. All of these traits are extremely unflattering and very off-putting and will make women head for the hills.

 

"an obsessive perfectionist so I always want to improve myself in hopes that I will have better success with women." .... all you're doing here is shooting yourself in the foot.

 

Not lucky in love? Look within. Deep within. YOU are the common denominator. Change the bragging attitude, be a lot more humble and maybe, just maybe, your luck might change - but it will take a LOT of time and work.

 

 

lol, we're talking strictly for the purpose of the thread

 

In real life, when I'm talking to people, I'm focusing 100% on whatever they like and whatever they find interesting. I don't ever talk about myself unless it makes sense within context of the conversation. The goal with any conversation is to have fun, get to know the other person and make them feel good and make them feel comfortable around me.

[Clio]

So in practice your stated "lower" cut offs are lip service only. No women over 26, no average bodies, no women who want kids within a 3 year timeframe, no real 6s (6=average all around NOT decent face with a great body), yet you feel entitled to them making concessions regarding dating outside of their ethnic background and living the life of a 35 year old in their 20s. And you are resisting leaving your comfort zone. Bargaining in this forum about what constitutes a 6 and what an 8 is pointless. You need to challenge your preconceived notions about women and how you come off to them and you need to get out of your comfort zone. How you see yourself and how you come across to women are probably two very different stories...

[Batya33]

OP, after reading your posts, I am not in the least surprised you don't find anyone and, carry on as you are, you will live a long and very lonely life. Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but seriously, all you do, throughout your posts is brag, brag, brag and brag some more. You are apparently the best looking Armenian man you have ever known, have the most spectacular body, have big money, best clothes and the list goes on and on and on. Literally everything about yourself is awesome (in YOUR eyes). You clearly don't know the meaning of the word "humble". I can see why women avoid you (I would too). Everything revolves around YOU. All of these traits are extremely unflattering and very off-putting and will make women head for the hills.

 

"an obsessive perfectionist so I always want to improve myself in hopes that I will have better success with women." .... all you're doing here is shooting yourself in the foot.

 

Not lucky in love? Look within. Deep within. YOU are the common denominator. Change the bragging attitude, be a lot more humble and maybe, just maybe, your luck might change - but it will take a LOT of time and work.

I agree with this and am learned that you would assume a woman you are involved with wold be interested in having you as a personal trainer to maximize her body's. Sure if she ask you then that's great. Otherwise let her be her own person. My husband stopped exercising for awhile and got not great news from his doctor. I approached him once about exercising for his health and that was the last time. But in the last year or so he started power walking again - what I've been doing regularly for the last 35 years (or working out but only power walking for the last 8). When he told me he planed to start again I kept my opinions on timing/pace etc to myself. As a result he feels comfortable asking me on a given day whether he should do it or not (if he is tired for example) and is fine wijtcmyvremonding i to stay hydrated. I wish he would try oirvtreadmill when it's too hot out but again love and respect require that kind of space for your partner imo. He's a person not a project.

[mustlovedogs]

lol, we're talking strictly for the purpose of the thread

 

In real life, when I'm talking to people, I'm focusing 100% on whatever they like and whatever they find interesting. I don't ever talk about myself unless it makes sense within context of the conversation. The goal with any conversation is to have fun, get to know the other person and make them feel good and make them feel comfortable around me.

 

Are you usually this condescending in person, too?

[xplorationspac]

So in practice your stated "lower" cut offs are lip service only. No women under 28, no average bodies, no women who want kids within a 3 year timeframe, no real 6s (6=average all around NOT decent face with a great body), yet you feel entitled to them making concessions regarding dating outside of their ethnic background and living the life of a 35 year old in their 20s. And you are resisting leaving your comfort zone. Bargaining in this forum about what constitutes a 6 and what an 8 is pointless. You ne

 

 

who said no women under 28? I like 22-31. Maturity is a real concern. I obviously want somebody who is on the same wavelength as me

I ideally want kids in about 4-6 years but I suppose 3 years is okay too. I can't imagine anybody wanting kids any faster than that

 

Your comment about living like a 35 year old is interesting. I've always been a little bit of an old soul. I'm extremely responsible, I can't help myself. I don't ever allow myself to get drunk (slight buzz only) - I hate feeling out of control. I don't think I'm boring though - I love going out, I enjoy partying, I enjoy drinking, I love going on fun vacations. I aim for a balance of having fun but still being responsible.

 

Don't most women my age want a guy like me though? Being married with me is going to be a hell of a lot easier lifestyle than marrying some starving artist and it's not like I'm an a-hole. I'm a pretty nice guy.

[xplorationspac]

Are you usually this condescending in person, too?

 

 

I'm not condescending at all, I can't believe that what's your inferred from that post

[xplorationspac]

I agree with this and am learned that you would assume a woman you are involved with wold be interested in having you as a personal trainer to maximize her body's. Sure if she ask you then that's great. Otherwise let her be her own person. My husband stopped exercising for awhile and got not great news from his doctor. I approached him once about exercising for his health and that was the last time. But in the last year or so he started power walking again - what I've been doing regularly for the last 35 years (or working out but only power walking for the last 8). When he told me he planed to start again I kept my opinions on timing/pace etc to myself. As a result he feels comfortable asking me on a given day whether he should do it or not (if he is tired for example) and is fine wijtcmyvremonding i to stay hydrated. I wish he would try oirvtreadmill when it's too hot out but again love and respect require that kind of space for your partner imo. He's a person not a project.

 

 

I really want to date somebody who is into fitness, who would want to workout with me...not just cardio, I like women who workout with weights.

 

 

that's pretty close to a dealbreaker

[mustlovedogs]

I really want to date somebody who is into fitness, who would want to workout with me...not just cardio, I like women who workout with weights.

 

 

that's pretty close to a dealbreaker

 

Your first sentence in my previously quoted post was condescending.

 

In regards to the above:

 

If she's in shape, she doesn't need you. So do you want a project or someone good at it?

 

If my boyfriend turned me in to a project, he would be gone so fast. Only give me input if I ask.

[Clio]

who said no women under 28? I like 22-31.

Don't most women my age want a guy like me though? Being married with me is going to be a hell of a lot easier lifestyle than marrying some starving artist and it's not like I'm an a-hole. I'm a pretty nice guy.

 

I meant "over" 28 not under. And your age is 29 NOT early 20s. Most western women in their early 20s want to experience the world not a routine life. Regardless, in your posts you come off as shallow and conceited and that is a major turn off for quality women.

[xplorationspac]

Your first sentence in my previously quoted post was condescending.

 

In regards to the above:

 

If she's in shape, she doesn't need you. So do you want a project or someone good at it?

 

If my boyfriend turned me in to a project, he would be gone so fast. Only give me input if I ask.

 

 

I want to date somebody who will want to workout, do cardio and have a super active lifestyle with me. When I say they will be a project - I mean that I will help them maximize their results in the gym and with their diet. I've been working out for 13 years so I've learned a lot. I used to be fat so I'm really good with helping people with their psychological hangups too in regards to exercise.

 

 

I would love to be a personal trainer... it's just not a job that pays any real money so I work in business instead.