I don't know how in the world I am ever gonna meet someone

[LaHermes]

I got that Xplorer, from your previous posts. Lol.

 

It was you who mentioned ethnicity in the first instance. You said you felt it might be a hurdle, you said it......

 

You are in USA not any other country, and you said yourself that women are only after blond blue-eyed men. So? Where do we go from here.

 

You are where you are, in the "now". For reasons which I, honestly, cannot understand, you seemed to think that your looks would be a turn-off.

 

Some women like dark and handsome, some like blond and handsome, ........there is no control over that.

[xplorationspac]

I got that Xplorer, from your previous posts. Lol.

 

It was you who mentioned ethnicity in the first instance. You said you felt it might be a hurdle, you said it......

 

You are in USA not any other country, and you said yourself that women are only after blond blue-eyed men. So? Where do we go from here.

 

that's not true at all. Most women prefer dark features but they like dark complexion white guys. I look slightly middle eastern/light skin Puerto Rican, which is why I wouldn't be good enough for dating sites. Most women on those sites my age don't want a 7/10 in terms of facial attractiveness (which is main thing women care for on dating sites. The fact that I look like a fitness model means very little)

 

I just have to approach in real life I suppose.

[Starlight925]

"tinder and bumble is great for all women and men over 40"

 

And for 19 year old murderers. Check out Glasgow, a few years back.

 

With all due respect, the bad stories are so few and far between, and by people doing stupid things (like meeting in private for the first time).

 

I'm someone who has done a TON of online dating, since 2000, and I've never remotely had one bad experience. I've always met in public places, taken my own car, and had, at the worst, no chemistry with the person. Not once, in hundreds of dates, have I ever felt scared.

 

I even married one! (marriage didn't work, but that's another story).

 

And xplorationspac, it's not that I have options "because" I'm a woman. I'm a FIFTY-FIVE year old triple divorcee with an extra 10 lbs. I'm not some young hottie. Trust me when I say, there are people everywhere, in all age groups, looking to meet other people.

 

This is 2017. This is how many people meet. Try it, or don't, but stop complaining about it.

[LaHermes]

She did not meet him "in private" for the first time, by the way, but anyhow he was caught and is in jail. Not that it is any consolation to her family.

 

Anyhow, no point in talking. If people want Tinder, then Tinder it is, or other similar sites.

[LaHermes]

So on post number 205 we are finally getting down to it Xplorer.

 

I just have to approach in real life I suppose.

 

So, go for it.....

[xplorationspac]

With all due respect, the bad stories are so few and far between, and by people doing stupid things (like meeting in private for the first time).

 

I'm someone who has done a TON of online dating, since 2000, and I've never remotely had one bad experience. I've always met in public places, taken my own car, and had, at the worst, no chemistry with the person. Not once, in hundreds of dates, have I ever felt scared.

 

I even married one! (marriage didn't work, but that's another story).

 

And xplorationspac, it's not that I have options "because" I'm a woman. I'm a FIFTY-FIVE year old triple divorcee with an extra 10 lbs. I'm not some young hottie. Trust me when I say, there are people everywhere, in all age groups, looking to meet other people.

 

This is 2017. This is how many people meet. Try it, or don't, but stop complaining about it.

 

please talk to some men in their 20s who have tried online dating. 90%+ of them will tell you online dating is completely impossible. I've heard it over and over and over and over and over again

 

you're taking your experiences as a woman (Once again, videogame on super easy mode) and applying it to me, it doesn't work that way.

 

any woman=videogame on super easy mode

men in 40s= videogame on normal mode

men my age going for women in my demographics = videogame in impossible mode

[Starlight925]

 

 

She got in his car, which is where he admitted to have killed her.

She met him very late at night at a club, outside the club, and got into his car with him.

 

Should never meet outside the club, but inside only.

Should never get inside a stranger's car.

 

Unfortunately for her, she made some costly mistakes.

[xplorationspac]

So on post number 205 we are finally getting down to it Xplorer.

 

I just have to approach in real life I suppose.

 

So, go for it.....

 

which we go back to just finding what I want is ridiculously difficult because of my location and actually approaching is even harder.

[LaHermes]

Oh gaawwddd.

 

Xplorer. You don't want to do online dating. Fine. Go down the real life route then. Difficult for you, but not impossible.

 

Maybe take a sabbatical, travel to other parts, anything is better IMO than this stalemate or impasse in which you find yourself.

[LaHermes]

He wasn't a "stranger" LH. She knew him from before. You need to read the full case. She would never have taken a lift if she did not know him and he seemed normal.

 

He wasn't.

 

Anyhow nothing to do with the OP's quest.

 

Oh for Pete's sake LH!!!

[Starlight925]

I understand, but that could happen if she had met him at a party, or wherever. Tinder didn't kill her, he did.

 

I stand by my comments that online dating is actually an awesome way to meet people, as I've done it for years.

 

First meet: A coffee shop, or for lunch, or a glass of wine at happy hour, both meeting inside the place, with first names only.

 

Second date: Meet at a pre-determined place. Still, no last names, no addresses. Maybe have dinner, etc.

 

There are a lot of rules to safe online dating which, when followed, will lead to successful dates.

[reinventmyself]

I understand, but that could happen if she had met him at a party, or wherever. Tinder didn't kill her, he did.

 

I stand by my comments that online dating is actually an awesome way to meet people, as I've done it for years.

 

Same here. I found that all you need is the right attitude.

[xplorationspac]

I understand, but that could happen if she had met him at a party, or wherever. Tinder didn't kill her, he did.

 

I stand by my comments that online dating is actually an awesome way to meet people, as I've done it for years.

 

what have I been saying whole time?

 

Online dating is absolutely fantastic for all women and men in their 40s and 50s

 

its absolutely abominable for 99.99% of men my age who want somebody cute/in their 20s. You have said nothing to indicate otherwise.

[LaHermes]

You are entitled to your opinion, LH, and I to mine, and the OP to his. I wouldn't do it, the OP doesn't want to, so why force it down his or my throat.

 

And believe me, I've been around, and then some. I still wouldn't touch OLD.

[Starlight925]

He wasn't a "stranger" LH. She knew him from before. You need to read the full case. She would never have taken a lift if she did not know him and he seemed normal.

 

He wasn't.

 

Anyhow nothing to do with the OP's quest.

 

Oh for Pete's sake LH!!!

 

For Pete's sake??? You were the one who brought up the Glasgow case. I had never heard of it.

 

Anyway, OP, if you are not inclined to try it, and you have 22 pages of this thread with opinions, then I guess I have no more advice for you.

[xplorationspac]

Same here. I found that all you need is the right attitude.

 

 

you are a woman of course its fantastic for you

 

men have much much MUCH lower standards than women do.

[reinventmyself]

Most women prefer dark features but they like dark complexion white guys. . Most women on those sites my age don't want a 7/10 in terms of facial attractiveness (which is main thing women care for on dating sitesI just have

 

Where do you get this stuff???

 

If you really want to know what women think. . then listen to what women are telling you.

 

If you to stay stuck in your dilemma, continue on with your self concocted statistics.

[reinventmyself]

you are a woman of course its fantastic for you

 

men have much much MUCH lower standards than women do.

 

 

I give up.

Good luck.

[xplorationspac]

Anyway, OP, I recommend you try online dating, as I said before, for one month, then let us know your feelings.

 

Am I a glutton for punishment? What do I gain from being rejected 50,000 times???

 

my morale is very low right now to begin with. That will be beyond demoralizing to get rejected that much over and over again in such a short time period.

[akrngrl]

that's not true at all. Most women prefer dark features but they like dark complexion white guys. I look slightly middle eastern/light skin Puerto Rican, which is why I wouldn't be good enough for dating sites. Most women on those sites my age don't want a 7/10 in terms of facial attractiveness (which is main thing women care for on dating sites. The fact that I look like a fitness model means very little)

 

I just have to approach in real life I suppose.

 

I would love to see hard evidence of where you get these notions from. Who told you women prefer dark complexion white guys? Where is the science behind this?

 

Facial attractiveness is not the main thing women care for on dating sites unless they're looking for fwb or a hookup. Women who want a long term relationship want the whole package. I can't understand why you aren't able to grasp this. I don't give a **** if a guy has a male model body or a conventionally handsome face if you're vapid, shallow and boring to me. I like chubby guys with beards-that's my physical type, but I'll take a man with muscles if he's a better match for me emotionally. You are getting so wrapped up in the looks.

 

If you are literally so against OLD that you won't even try it then fine, but don't sit and moan that it's so hard to talk to women in real life. It's awkward if you make it awkward.

 

OLD you run the risk of not getting a response, IRL you run the risk of botching a convo in front of a girl and maybe her friends. You need to pick the lesser of the evils or, like everyone else has suggested try a combo of both.

 

No one can help you until you help yourself. You can make yourself the best possible, but it doesn't mean a hill of beans if no one knows about it.

[xplorationspac]

Where do you get this stuff???

 

If you really want to know what women think. . then listen to what women are telling you.

 

If you to stay stuck in your dilemma, continue on with your self concocted statistics.

 

I've talked to tons and tons and tons of men my age about dating sites

 

99.99% say its impossible. The 0.01% look like Henry Cavill. You ladies are taking your experiences (which is great of course, men have terribly low standards) and applying it to me. It doesn't work that way

 

Its like saying somebody can be a great professional athlete because they played well as a 10 year old. That's the difference in difficulty level/competition.

[LaHermes]

Once more, with feeling.

 

Xplorer. You don't want to do online dating. Fine. Go down the real life route then. Difficult for you, but not impossible.

 

Maybe take a sabbatical, travel to other parts, anything is better IMO than this stalemate or impasse in which you find yourself. Maybe go to a few family events where perhaps you'd be introduced to someone. I dunno.....

[xplorationspac]

I would love to see hard evidence of where you get these notions from. Who told you women prefer dark complexion white guys? Where is the science behind this?

 

Facial attractiveness is not the main thing women care for on dating sites unless they're looking for fwb or a hookup. Women who want a long term relationship want the whole package. I can't understand why you aren't able to grasp this. I don't give a **** if a guy has a male model body or a conventionally handsome face if you're vapid, shallow and boring to me. I like chubby guys with beards-that's my physical type, but I'll take a man with muscles if he's a better match for me emotionally. You are getting so wrapped up in the looks.

 

If you are literally so against OLD that you won't even try it then fine, but don't sit and moan that it's so hard to talk to women in real life. It's awkward if you make it awkward.

 

OLD you run the risk of not getting a response, IRL you run the risk of botching a convo in front of a girl and maybe her friends. You need to pick the lesser of the evils or, like everyone else has suggested try a combo of both.

 

No one can help you until you help yourself. You can make yourself the best possible, but it doesn't mean a hill of beans if no one knows about it.

 

 

we're talking about the process of getting a date. Obviously when you start going out, the personality/emotion takes over but there is no personality/emotion with online dating until you go out and meet each other

 

 

the process of getting a date is 99.99% about facial attractiveness and height with online dating if you want 20 something cuties. If you are interested in women over 35, that's super easy online or real life. They actually put in an effort to meet somebody (20 something year olds don't put in any effort whatsoever)

[Starlight925]

I think someone mentioned meetup groups? This thread has gotten so long, forgive me for not scrolling back through 23 pages to try and find it.....

 

Meetup groups are great for just getting out and meeting people, and there are hundreds of different groups. There is no charge. It's just, find a group, and go to something. I've done sailing on a Saturday evening, and independent film and dinner night. I actually met people of the same sex, just for friendship, which was also nice.

 

There are biking groups, running groups, and quilting groups if that's your speed.

 

Just go to meetup, type in your city, and see what's there. The worst that happens is that you go on a Saturday morning bike ride. Or a Wednesday evening run. Etc.

 

Most meet ups are not actually geared for singles meeting singles, but rather people meeting other people. Zero pressure, just enjoy the activity together.

[LaHermes]

Forget the new thread, Xplorer.

 

The discussion about the horrors of online has been done to death. Now is the moment for creative thinking and action.

 

What are YOU going to do? Life is not a straight line. How about some lateral thinking.....

 

You mentioned at some point in the thread that you dreaded rejection, as in you approach a woman and she is not interested. Well, hello!!! This is how the real world is.

 

The conversation is becoming circular, OP.