Is this going to work out?

[Batya33]

His ex reached out to me and showed me messages between them. Heres some things he said to his ex about me:

 

"I feel like shes the missing puzzle piece in my life"

"I really can't explain how I feel about her.."

"I don't want any girls ruining our relationship"

"Im sorry I hurt you, but I think shes the one for me."

"When she told me how she my felt, my feelings hit me like a train"

 

I dont know how to feel about this.

Is it possible you're mistaking the excitement of the drama for sctislly being into him? How should you feel? However you want. Since you already decided you're going to stay involved with him even if you get very hurt - which is likely given his disability and his recent past why are you still analyzing second hand information.

[Datblondie]

Is it possible you're mistaking the excitement of the drama for sctislly being into him? How should you feel? However you want. Since you already decided you're going to stay involved with him even if you get very hurt - which is likely given his disability and his recent past why are you still analyzing second hand information.

 

Well, it makes me question if he means it when he says he loves me. 3-4 days before we got together, I was aware of the fact he still hooked up with his ex, and told her "I love you".. so idk.

[RebeccaLynn]

worrying if your relationship is going to work isn't helping your mental condition. If his ex is talking to you about her concerns that's great, but she's not doing you any favors. it's up to you and your boyfriend to make things work. His ex, and everyone elses option don't count. I don't even think your boyfriend has done anything wrong yet. Maybe you should wait till there is an issue before asking for help with your relationship. till then keep a positive attitude, your in love, quite worrying and go have fun with it. you only live once.

[Datblondie]

worrying if your relationship is going to work isn't helping your mental condition. If his ex is talking to you about her concerns that's great, but she's not doing you any favors. it's up to you and your boyfriend to make things work. His ex, and everyone elses option don't count. I don't even think your boyfriend has done anything wrong yet. Maybe you should wait till there is an issue before asking for help with your relationship. till then keep a positive attitude, your in love, quite worrying and go have fun with it. you only live once.

 

Im not really asking for help. Im just asking for people's opinions to see if this is something that'd work out.

[JaggerJim]

No probably not.

[Wiseman2]

Never date a guy because you feel like damaged goods.

Its hard since I am very dependent on him, have a hard time trusting people and guys run away when they find out Im bipolar..

[Batya33]

Well, it makes me question if he means it when he says he loves me. 3-4 days before we got together, I was aware of the fact he still hooked up with his ex, and told her "I love you".. so idk.

 

Watch the feet- his actions -not the lips -his words.

[nsolo]

Do I think it'll work? Based on the info you've provided, no, I don't.

[boltnrun]

He probably made all his exes feel special too.

 

Everyone who gets involved with someone like him thinks "He/she would never do that to ME!!!". Until he/she does.

[Datblondie]

He probably made all his exes feel special too.

 

Everyone who gets involved with someone like him thinks "He/she would never do that to ME!!!". Until he/she does.

 

Do you think he just dates people to feel that amazing honeymoon phase, then go to someone else to experience that again..?

[Wiseman2]

Do you mean like an infatuation junkie? Take the quiz:

Do you think he just dates people to feel that amazing honeymoon phase, then go to someone else to experience that again..?

[FlashEng1]

Do you think he just dates people to feel that amazing honeymoon phase, then go to someone else to experience that again..?

 

It possible.. Most people live off the 1 night stand, but others certainly get a kick out of the new relationship until they're bored for whatever reason and find interest in a new person.

[Datblondie]

Do you mean like an infatuation junkie? Take the quiz:

 

Answered yes to a lot of those. Sometimes, right when he leaves my house he texts me "I miss you" "I wish i didnt have to leave" blahblahblah. We hangout 5-6 times a week.

[Datblondie]

It possible.. Most people live off the 1 night stand, but others certainly get a kick out of the new relationship until they're bored for whatever reason and find interest in a new person.

 

He's left his previous relationships because it lost the "spark".

[Batya33]

Do you think he just dates people to feel that amazing honeymoon phase, then go to someone else to experience that again..?

 

Again, why are you asking if as you said you are going to continue to be involved with him even if he breaks your heart and if he does that will just be a lesson for you. Is that not true anymore?

 

Good rule of thumb -don't date or have sex with people you don't trust. Without trust there is no relationship.

[Datblondie]

Again, why are you asking if as you said you are going to continue to be involved with him even if he breaks your heart and if he does that will just be a lesson for you. Is that not true anymore?

 

Good rule of thumb -don't date or have sex with people you don't trust. Without trust there is no relationship.

 

Thanks for the advice. Ive liked him for awhile so ima stay with caution. If I get my heart broken I'll be back to thank you guys lol

[boltnrun]

I saw your new thread.

 

I don't think rushing is the problem. I think the problem is you think this guy is someone you can rely on, but his relationship history is just so unstable. I think if you're going to place your hopes on this guy you will end up disappointed, hurt and heart broken. Not because he's a "bad" person, but because of how he seems unable to sustain a relationship past the initial "honeymoon" phase of a couple of months.

[Krybb]

I wish I could chat with you directly because I have a similar situation and may look at things differently than most. I read many of the replies to your thread, but not all. One thing I really connect with is your comments about knowing it might end up painful but choosing to try and take the lesson later if it comes to that. I've been in a relationship with a guy that is bipolar, has been suicidal often and is a drug addict. He is currently in rehab and working. I've known since day one that there was a strong possibility that he just isn't capable of giving at this point in his life. I see enough of who he truly is underneath the depression and addiction to love him anyway. I realize I might get hurt but I've chosen to give him my all and deal with whatever happens because life is full of good and bad and we do learn from both. Also, YOU said you have your own issues, including bipolar. People could look at you and decide you're too much trouble or can't commit or love someone. You know that having emotional or mental diagnoses doesn't mean you're a damaged person beyond hope! Therefore, you can see other people who have illnesses or addictions for their potential instead of their history! From what you've said, I agree he is worth the risk and you are strong enough to handle the outcome whether happy or sad. You will take whatever happens and turn it into a positive learning and growing experience. 😉

[Datblondie]

I wish I could chat with you directly because I have a similar situation and may look at things differently than most. I read many of the replies to your thread, but not all. One thing I really connect with is your comments about knowing it might end up painful but choosing to try and take the lesson later if it comes to that. I've been in a relationship with a guy that is bipolar, has been suicidal often and is a drug addict. He is currently in rehab and working. I've known since day one that there was a strong possibility that he just isn't capable of giving at this point in his life. I see enough of who he truly is underneath the depression and addiction to love him anyway. I realize I might get hurt but I've chosen to give him my all and deal with whatever happens because life is full of good and bad and we do learn from both. Also, YOU said you have your own issues, including bipolar. People could look at you and decide you're too much trouble or can't commit or love someone. You know that having emotional or mental diagnoses doesn't mean you're a damaged person beyond hope! Therefore, you can see other people who have illnesses or addictions for their potential instead of their history! From what you've said, I agree he is worth the risk and you are strong enough to handle the outcome whether happy or sad. You will take whatever happens and turn it into a positive learning and growing experience.

 

I'm glad I have someone who kinda knows what I'm going through. I think there is a private message feature on here I'm not sure, kinda new. But thanks for the nice comment

[LonelyJedi]

"Advice when most needed, is least heeded."

 

Communication is the best way to solve your concerns. After talking with him, make sure his actions match his words.

If you still feel that his actions do not match his words, save yourself the heartbreak and end it before you get in too deep.