Does he care?

[Rainisron]

I've been with my boyfriend for about 9 months and we've always been so in love with each other but he's never actually told me he loves me and I've subtlety told him I've loved him on paper and text but he has never said anything back, also on his Facebook it still says he's single and Ive told him before and he said he needed to change it but never did, there's just things here and there he's not doing anymore and it feels like he doesn't make much the effort to see me unless he (wants something), though I hope that's not the case. He's an extremely nice guy and he never been mean to me, but I feel like he's drifting ): help I love him so much ]

[SooSad33]

He 'needs' to change his FB status? Why....

I was with someone 5 yrs.. that never changed. ,, from either side.

 

Tbh... can take men MORE time to come to 'feel love'.. if they ever do. I wouldn't push expectations on him... I say you let things progress slowly and give this all more time. Been months.. not years.

 

Sometimes things might die down a bit.. as the honeymoon phase goes away.. doesn't mean they don't care.

 

BUT-- If you FEEL his interest is lacking.. best to step up and 'communicate'. See if your assumptions are correct.

Try not to put him on the spot.. feel guilt, etc. But.. you do need to talk.. and know.

Your feelings and time need to be accepted as well.

[nutbrownhare]

If he treats you well, and acts in a loving way, don't worry about the lack of those three little words. Look up 'Love languages' and that may well explain everything!

 

And really don't worry about his FB Status; I asked my partner if he'd put up that we're in a relationship, largely because I got fed up with being hit on by guys who'd had one too many glasses of red wine at night - but I know people who've been married or in long term relationships who don't have any relationship information there. My guess is that your guy just doesn't think about it.

[Rainisron]

I don't really care what his fb status is, I just wish it was either nothing or in a relationship, because it currently Blantly says "single" and everyone asks me about it 😑 ):

[j.man]

oh my god what happened to your faces are you guys ok?

[Rainisron]

He 'needs' to change his FB status? Why....

I was with someone 5 yrs.. that never changed. ,, from either side.

 

Tbh... can take men MORE time to come to 'feel love'.. if they ever do. I wouldn't push expectations on him... I say you let things progress slowly and give this all more time. Been months.. not years.

 

Sometimes things might die down a bit.. as the honeymoon phase goes away.. doesn't mean they don't care.

 

BUT-- If you FEEL his interest is lacking.. best to step up and 'communicate'. See if your assumptions are correct.

Try not to put him on the spot.. feel guilt, etc. But.. you do need to talk.. and know.

Your feelings and time need to be accepted as well.

But yeah he is a very hard person to talk to, he keeps everything inside and getting him to communicate is so crazy hard he's so deep in and hidden u know?

[Wiseman2]

Take note of that. He's not as into you as you are into him. Don't revolve your world around him. Is he the blond in the dog face pics?

I don't really care what his fb status is, I just wish it was either nothing or in a relationship, because it currently Blantly says "single" and everyone asks me about it

[Rainisron]

oh my god what happened to your faces are you guys ok?

Lol its snapchat filter

[Hollyj]

" there's just things here and there he's not doing anymore and it feels like he doesn't make much the effort to see me unless he (wants something)"

 

Here's your answer.

[Rainisron]

Take note of that. He's not as into you as you are into him. Don't revolve your world around him. Is he the blond in the dog face pics?

Yeah that's him

[Wiseman2]

He doesn't look as happy as you do. Do you post these altered pics of him on your social media? Have you read the book : Hes Just Not That Into You. It may help you understand what's going on with him.

Yeah that's him

[j.man]

Lol its snapchat filter

ok follow up question is that a dog face filter or are you and your bf dogs and it's a a human face filter?

[Wiseman2]

Good question....lol

ok follow up question is that a dog face filter or are you and your bf dogs and it's a a human face filter?

]

[Doc Blaze]

feels like he doesn't make much the effort to see me unless he (wants something),

 

 

 

not good.

[Almira23]

Everyone here is more focused on your snap chat filter.

I don't think you should focus on the relationship status or how he looks in pictures.

instead, I would focus on how he treats you. If he isn't putting any effort to see unless he needs something then he isn't that into you.

[reinventmyself]

"we've always been so in love with each other but he's never actually told me he loves me "

 

You state 'WE'VE always been so in love'

What is it he does to make you think he is so love as well?

[Rainisron]

"we've always been so in love with each other but he's never actually told me he loves me "

 

You state 'WE'VE always been so in love'

What is it he does to make you think he is so love as well?

Well when we see each other we immediately hug and kiss and I'll say I missed him and he says he missed me too and he will like hold my hand and purposely cuddle me closer all the time so his actions definitely tell me he loves but he's never vocally told me so, and it kind of worries me? But idk

[Dahl]

Well when we see each other we immediately hug and kiss and I'll say I missed him and he says he missed me too and he will like hold my hand and purposely cuddle me closer all the time so his actions definitely tell me he loves but he's never vocally told me so, and it kind of worries me? But idk

 

This just sounds friendly / affectionate to me. What makes you think he is in love with you?

 

I'm in *no* way saying that he isn't. Just wanted clarification.

[Wiseman2]

How have you subtlety told him?

I've subtlety told him I've loved him on paper and text but he has never said anything back

[Rainisron]

This just sounds friendly / affectionate to me. What makes you think he is in love with you?

 

I'm in *no* way saying that he isn't. Just wanted clarification.

There is just certain things he will do for me that I know he wouldn't really do for someone else idk, I've been in very abusive relationships in the past and he is like an angel compared to that and he picks me up at my house even though like live pretty far away from him, he will also plan dates of hiking and such and idk basically he is doing everything is ever want a guy to do or be for me accept he's not vocally communicating how he feels to me and it's mixing my emotions and making me think that maybe he's just doing all of this because he's passive and doesn't want to hurt me or something or feels like he's stuck

[Rainisron]

How have you subtlety told him?

I've straight up wrote in cards "I love you" at the end and in text sometimes I'll be like "ily" or "love you" I even once whispered it to him and he never said anything ever to any of these, the only time I can declare him ever saying it is this one time he was super drunk and I bought him his favorite pineapple pizza and he was screaming " I love you" but it could have just been his friendly excitement of me buying his fave pizza while he was drunk lol

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he's into you but not in love with you the way you are with him. Try pulling back somewhat to level the playing field and so you don't get hurt in the end.

I've straight up wrote in cards "I love you" at the end and in text sometimes I'll be like "ily" or "love you" I even once whispered it to him and he never said anything ever to any of these, the only time I can declare him ever saying it is this one time he was super drunk and I bought him his favorite pineapple pizza and he was screaming " I love you" but it could have just been his friendly excitement of me buying his fave pizza while he was drunk lol

[Dahl]

There is just certain things he will do for me that I know he wouldn't really do for someone else idk, I've been in very abusive relationships in the past and he is like an angel compared to that and he picks me up at my house even though like live pretty far away from him, he will also plan dates of hiking and such and idk basically he is doing everything is ever want a guy to do or be for me accept he's not vocally communicating how he feels to me and it's mixing my emotions and making me think that maybe he's just doing all of this because he's passive and doesn't want to hurt me or something or feels like he's stuck

 

This strikes me as loving interactions between you two, and, of course, that's super, but it does not sound as though he's 'in love' with you.

 

Again, I'm not at all saying that he's not or will never be, but I wonder if you aren't expecting too much from his attitude, expressions (both literal and demonstrative) when he may not be at the same level of investment and interest as you are.

 

How long have you been together?

[Rainisron]

This strikes me as loving interactions between you two, and, of course, that's super, but it does not sound as though he's 'in love' with you.

 

Again, I'm not at all saying that he's not or will never be, but I wonder if you aren't expecting too much from his attitude, expressions (both literal and demonstrative) when he may not be at the same level of investment and interest as you are.

 

How long have you been together?

Getting close to a year now, like 2 1/2 months away..

[Dahl]

I've straight up wrote in cards "I love you" at the end and in text sometimes I'll be like "ily" or "love you" I even once whispered it to him and he never said anything ever to any of these, the only time I can declare him ever saying it is this one time he was super drunk and I bought him his favorite pineapple pizza and he was screaming " I love you" but it could have just been his friendly excitement of me buying his fave pizza while he was drunk lol

 

Didn't see this when I last posted to you.

 

My impression is that he's definitely not 'in love' with you. He's treating you well, you note - is his lack of interest / not being at your level of commitment a deal breaker for you?

 

Do you have any other complaints about the relationship other than his not being in love with you, at this point? Has he been in other long term relationships, do you know?