Boyfriend says "Don't by my xmas gift"

[Talblkman]

So I've been in a relationship for 6 months. Within the past 6 months my bf has noticed I've been going through some financial issues. Last night while talking about, money of course, he tells me "don't buy me a xmas gift". I respond that I will be getting him something. He tells me "if you do I'll be pissed". I said if I don't get you something you don't get me something. He says "I already got you something and can't return it". Question is simple....do I get him something or not? I would like to, I'm poor not broke.

[Wiseman2]

If you want to, make is simple and affordable.

[Viceroy]

I agree, make it simple, but thoughtful. For example, perhaps you can hand make a card, and then buy him something small.

[happyfrank]

Get himself that doesn't cost anything. Like a hand written letter.

[j.man]

Who's bringing up the talks about money? If you're the one griping about money troubles and then go ahead and buy him a gift, yeah, he's going to feel bad about receiving one. Don't put him in that position. And, if you're "poor but not broke" in the sense you could in fact afford to buy him a decent $30 - $40 bottle of bourbon, then stop complaining about funds in front of him.

 

As others have suggested, a sweet, hand-written letter would be fine. Or you can find something you could do for him that doesn't cost you money and would make his life easier, even if just for a day or weekend.

[Wolfshook]

It depends on what kind of a person he is. I for once really dont care about gifts, I like giving them but dont care about receiving them. And the gift I was happiest with was simple hand written letter.

 

It depends on what can you afford. If you really cant afford buying him something, then dont,rather make something with your hands. If you can afford something,then probably he'll be happy with chocolate or something simple too.

[abitbroken]

Who's bringing up the talks about money? If you're the one griping about money troubles and then go ahead and buy him a gift, yeah, he's going to feel bad about receiving one. Don't put him in that position.

 

Agree. YES That's manipulative to do this to him!

[notalady]

I would write a nice card and if possible, do a hand made present. Like coupons for him to redeem with you (eg cook a meal for him, make desert, sex stuff...)

[itsallgrand]

I vote get him something, and put in equal chunk into your emerg account if you are poor but not broke. You don't have to spend a lot of money. And you can add on extras like mega spoiling time for him if he's special to you .

Spoiling ideas: his fave foods cooked by you, baking ( my guy goes crazy when I bake special for him, because it's rare he gets treats he can actually eat), massage, his fave music or movie night, scrub him down in the shower, his fave beer or drink, a sweet note or song for him or artistic endeavour, give him a night where it's all about him ( I'll leave the sexy stuff to you to think up).

 

He's probably just worried you are going to go in the hole to buy presents - make it really clear you aren't and give him less reason to worry going forward.

[ThatwasThen]

Don't buy him anything. Instead create a book of coupons of things you'll do for him in the coming year.

Coupon No.1 You'll cook him a lovely dinner.

Coupon No.2 You'll knock his socks off (in the manner you know is his favorite )

Coupon No.3 One hour back massage

Coupon No.4 You'll wash his car.

 

You get the idea.

[JaggerJim]

I think if you would like to buy him something, then buy it. You have all of next year to pay it off.

 

Sometimes we put too much thought into "not buying because I can't afford it" then the moment is missed, and you end up the road 2 weeks later buying more crap you didn't need, so use the cash you will probably use anyways and buy him a gift.

[j.man]

Coupon No.4 You'll wash his car.

Really, OP, I might take this even over a bottle of Makers. Very few things beat a well cleaned and polished vehicle.

[Fudgie]

He's looking out for you. He knows of your financial problems because you complain about them to him so he's looking out for you by saying "don't get me a gift!" He doesn't want to add to your financial problems.

 

Don't take offense, appreciate his concern. It means he cares about your best interests.

 

See if you can get a really, really cheap gift he'll like OR a homemade gift. The coupon idea is a great one - as long as you stick to your promises!

[abitbroken]

I think if you would like to buy him something, then buy it. You have all of next year to pay it off.

 

S

The worst thing to do if you are broke - racking up credit card bills.