Worried about seeing someone again?

[artsygirl]

So for a majority of 2015 I was involved in a friends with benefits type relationship with a guy from where I live (we now both live away at separate universities). He's extremely promiscuous- just sleeps with so many people and is definitely the most unreliable person I've ever met. He just never took into consideration my feelings about anything. I didn't have any romantic feelings towards him and it was just a very strong urge and sexual attraction.

Despite us both living miles from each other at university, there were a few occasions where we contacted each other- more so instigated by him. It was just a little annoying because I think he was aware that I was moving on and seeing other guys whilst at university and whilst I pretty much knew he was sleeping with girls left right and centre at his university, but he just kept contacting me. As Christmas drew nearer he contacted me again asking to meet for another hookup in the holidays. To cut a long story short, that plan fell through and I ended up extremely annoyed and upset with him. We did meet up and we agreed to block each other on all forms of social media that we had as that was what we were using to contact each other. I didn't see him in the Easter holidays and have no clue what's going on in his life since Christmas (and I don't really want to know) but as summer is approaching it's much more likely that we'll see each other as my friends like to have reunion type parties when everyone's home from university and I worry he'd go to one. The reason why I am so worried is that over the course of 2015, we tried to end our friends with benefits relationship but we kept relapsing and going back to each other. I worry that should he see me again, he might want to rekindle which for my state of mind is the worst thing that could possibly happen. I'll try to avoid it if I can but I can't avoid it forever.

Basically I would like any advice/comments for how I should behave should I bump into him again. How would you go about seeing someone again after a long period time who you're incredibly sexually attracted to (and the feelings are mutual between the two)?

[Clinton]

What exactly are you expecting? It was FWB. That's a no strings attached relationship. You owe each other nothing.

 

And who cares if you see him. You're an adult. If he asks to hook up say no. It really is that simple.

 

And get tested for Stds and HIV.

[mustlovedogs]

You speak as if you had no control over it. We "tried" to end our FWB, etc.

 

It's quite simple. Next time he reaches out, ignore him. If you see him, don't engage. If he propositions you, say no.

[ThatwasThen]

Really what is wrong with you just saying "No" then going on to say: "this is screwing my head over and I don't want anything else to do with you other then seeing you when we are with mutual friends?"

 

Get help with your ADDICTION to him at your University's psychology department (you'll have benefits that will cover that) if you need help with your rehab from him.

 

You are not his prisoner, you have free will and all you really need is a bit of will power to overcome your addiction.

 

Despite us both living miles from each other at university, there were a few occasions where we contacted each other- more so instigated by him. It was just a little annoying because I think he was aware that I was moving on and seeing other guys whilst at university and whilst I pretty much knew he was sleeping with girls left right and centre at his university, but he just kept contacting me.

You DO understand that the beauty of FWB, FWBs and any other type of casual sexual relationship is the fact that there is NO strings attached and both of you are free to see others for sex or any other dynamic, right?

 

I highly suggest to you that you don't let yourself get into another casual sexual dynamic with anyone since you are unable to compartmentalize and you easily become addicted to who you're doing.

 

Just say "no" to him if he proposes another hook up for goodness sakes.

[Wiseman2]

As fwb you have no obligations to each other, that's the point of it. Just say no to him, to fwb, etc. You sound somewhat contemptuous of him anyway.

[DancingFool]

I'd remember that he is also incredibly sexually attracted to anything that moves in a skirt and go get tested for all the STD's out there possible. Then I'd just tell him no because really.....he is kind of gross and what he might share with me would give me nightmares.......

 

No is simple, short, sweet, to the point and very effective. Learn how to use it to your advantage.

 

Oh and he is a player so he will target you for as long as you can't manage to say no. Not because he likes you, but because you are a weak and easy target. Predators always go after the weak ones in the herd. Learn how to say no so you are not weak and really, think about your health. Some std's don't have a cure......

[boltnrun]

I sure hope condoms were used each and every time.

 

You ARE capable of saying "no".

[Ms Darcy]

Unless you have no control over your legs and vagina, just say no to him.

[catfeeder]

Why not just go to those things with a date?