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artsygirl

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  1. I feel like I went through a similar-ish situation a year ago, which is a topic I posted about on this forum back in February when our relationship ended in January. Mine lasted for 3 months, and I resonated with quite a lot of what you said in your original post. The most similarities being in the sense of coming on very strong, initiating a lot of our relationship, saying that they loved me first, and then turning pretty cold and distant around the 2 1/2 month mark. They eventually then ended it with me after going very off with me for about a week. From the tone of your post and some of your responses to other users, I agree with what they are saying that you appear to be blaming yourself, and as another user said, this could be setting you up for a long time of instantly blaming yourself even if it isn't really your fault at all. I also agree with what somebody else said about it being nice to be adored. I felt this too, and is probably one of the hardest bridges I had to move past when my ex left me, as that sudden withdrawal of affection can be really jarring and upsetting. Her saying that you are in for a lifetime of disappointment is also a bit concerning, as I think that is quite dismissive. I get that everyone is different, but still
  2. Hi all. Just to update. I heard back a few days ago that I was unsuccessful. Definitely was upset but I have continued my job search. Thank you again for all taking your time to comment 😊
  3. Thanks Rose Mosse! I did send a follow up email yesterday evening. Didn't hear anything today so I am gradually moving into a phase that I may not have gotten it. Have already applied to another job elsewhere and trying not to go out of my mind with the wait! 😂😫
  4. I was just saying that I was thinking about it as the surpassing of the 10 day threshold was only very recently. I'm likely going to send one tonight or tomorrow morning...
  5. Thanks boltnrun. I have considered sending an email, and I know that's what parents will advise (they've been doing their usual check-in of 'have you heard anything???' 😆) It's just that painful waiting game at the moment! Well done on getting your job, though! I hope the wait wasn't too stressful for you! 🙂 I'll be updating this thread when I eventually have an answer 😅
  6. Want to come on here just to let off some steam! I applied for a job mid last week. I was one of the first round of candidates interviewed. The interview consisted of a group activity, independent speaking section and an individual panel interview. I knew that they were interviewing for candidates this week also (as I got to choose the day I went to my interview and there were slots available this week), and they are recruiting for multiple positions (although I don't know exactly how many). I really want this job, I felt confident having left the interview, and the recruiters told me that I would hear either way in up to 10 days time. I understood that there would be a minimum of a 7-8 day wait as they were interviewing the other candidates. It's now passed the 10 day threshold and I am growing increasingly apprehensive that I have not heard back. I am really interested in this position, and unless I did an absolutely awful interview, do feel that I hold the relevant knowledge and qualifications to do the job. In my current profession, you are used to hearing back same day or day after on a job interview, so having to wait is driving me mad 😂 I haven't put all my eggs in one basket and I am continuing to apply to other positions too, and I understand that not all companies/places are the same and there may be other factors going on behind the scenes. But I am also conscious that the longer you are waiting, the less likely it is you've secured a position. I should hear via email whether I have been successful or not, but the wait is so arduous! 😅 Just wanting to come on here to let off some steam about how I am feeling!
  7. Hi all. I wanted to thank you for your time to comment. I have read them all and I am working to take them on board. I didn't speak with them today about the products they are making- it's just not worth the hassle, and if I bring it up, at that point I'm pretty much just stirring the pot. We have resumed as normal in a working and professional relationship and just not spoken about the products, nor do I intend to bring them up in the future. Thank you all again for your advice
  8. Super true, Tinydance. Thank you so much for your comment. I definitely did mean for it to come from a good place, but I can completely see your point of view and has given me a lot to take away. As mentioned in some of my other responses, I'm dropping this situation now as I don't think it's best to converse with them about it anymore, but I'm definitely taking your advice on board
  9. Thanks Wiseman2. Am going to stop mentioning it anymore to them. I think it just comes more from a place of care, but I am aware that I could have perhaps pushed it a little too much today. Just going to make the effort to stop asking from now as it's clearly a topic that just seems to set us off
  10. I have posted this in the friends forum as it is the closest forum to this. I currently work with someone who is a couple of years older than me. For context, in our team, hierarchal speaking, I am the one with the authority. I have worked at this place for 2-3 years and they have been there longer than me. On/off for these years, this person has repeatedly 'complained' about their quality of life. They have expressed that they are unhappy in this current job and want to look for something else, but are not making any efforts to further themselves. They did apply for a job recently, but were unsuccessful, but this job was very niche in terms of what they want to do. They are interested in entering a career that is very few and far between, and is not massively profitable/workable unless they are entering a certain field within it. They don't want to enter this particular field, and as such the cycle of complaints continue. I even saw a job the other day that would potentially appeal to them, and they flat out turned it away because it was not in their field of interest which you simply just cannot go into that easily. What has led to this post is an incident which happened today. They are currently producing some stock to sell at a market stall on the weekend. They have been working a lot out of work hours in the last week and over the weekend, and I noticed this morning how tired they seemed. I asked how they were and they confirmed this. They also coughed at one point and said that they hope they hadn't caught their dad's current cold. I suggested to them that they may just be feeling a little rundown as that's sometimes how my body responds when I'm overworking myself. I asked how their products were coming along and they explained they still had a lot to do and that they planned to stay every evening this week after work (Monday-Friday). I suggested that it may be a better idea to chunk and manage the workload. I'm used to managing my time by setting myself realistic targets, and I explained that that was something that helped me. They immediately dismissed this, saying 'that doesn't work for me.' I then asked how they work best, and they responded with 'haphazardly and well'. I pointed out that it may be worth giving the targeting idea a try, as it appeared that their haphazard way of working was causing them some burnout. They dismissed it once again, and began getting more irritated. I just want to add that my suggestions were said very politely and in a friendly manner, and I was just trying to gage more into how they worked best. Eventually, I was annoyed with the way they were speaking to me, and told them that they were becoming quite stressful in their tone towards me. This ended the conversation, and this occurred at the beginning of the day. Before I left work this evening, I asked them which of their products they were going to make this evening. They said they didn't know. I asked how many they felt they could make in the realistic time they had and they also said they didn't know. I don't really know anything about the process of making their stock or how long it takes, so these were all innocent questions. I suggested that they try setting the targets again. They repeated that that didn't work for them as they get angry when they don't meet it. I suggested they set a realistic target that could be easily achieved. The conversation began heating up again, to which point I just told them that I'm trying to help. They then raised their voice saying 'I don't want your help!' I told them that they seemed very stressed out by the whole situation and I was just trying to offer some advice that helps me so that I don't experience burnout. They told me they didn't want my help again and that they weren't stressed. I understand about gaslighting, so I immediately stopped saying they seemed stressed when they told me they weren't. It was also on the verge of spilling into an unprofessional outburst, so I explained to them that this was all being said as a means to offer advice and support. I decided to just leave the situation and walk away; the whole situation really irritated me. In hindsight, I perhaps wonder if I caused the clash later in the day, but I would appreciate advice from anyone who has dealt with someone who just does not help themselves. As much as I can see where I perhaps had some wrongdoing, it's getting frustrating hearing their constant complaining and then doing nothing to better the situation. I wonder if it's perhaps a pride thing, but I really don't think it's the way to behave to just dismiss people like that
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