Improving a Man's FACE?

[Dougie_D]

Let's not talk about weight please. I honestly consistently feel insulted when people tell me to "just lose weight". I've actually lost more than 20 lbs before. And even when I was "skinnier" I still had the same flaws.

 

Let's not talk about my personality also.

 

I just want to know how a man can improve his face? I get nice hair cuts and I trim my beard making me look like I have a "jaw line" but I feel like I'm still not up to "standards".

 

Any suggestions what to look for, or how to change up the way I try to present myself?

[Fudgie]

What do you not like about your face? What are your features?

[DoF]

Let's not talk about weight please. I honestly consistently feel insulted when people tell me to "just lose weight".

 

Rather than feel insulted, take it and do something good with it. That's what strong/mature people do.

 

No reason to get insulted, whoever is telling you this is probably just being honest and wants to help!

 

 

I've actually lost more than 20 lbs before. And even when I was "skinnier" I still had the same flaws.

 

Let's not talk about my personality also.

 

I just want to know how a man can improve his face? I get nice hair cuts and I trim my beard making me look like I have a "jaw line" but I feel like I'm still not up to "standards".

 

Any suggestions what to look for, or how to change up the way I try to present myself?

 

I lost 60lbs and my face looks 10x better......most importantly, my mental strength and stability has improved considerably (along with feeling 100x better).

 

Also, part of maturity is accepting yourself for who you are but still working hard to be the best person you can be. Lossing weight is part of that....so do it is my best advice

[sleepingdonut]

Start strength training in the gym. It'll slowly affect your facial features in a positive way.

[Batya33]

How is your smile, eye contact and do you smile with your eyes?

[j.man]

Facial hair, making sure you keep the unibrow in check (something I have to do), trim the nose hairs, have the barber take care of long eyebrow hairs n check.

 

I'd be careful trying to trim an artificial jawline. Any woman who's looking for a grown dude is going to notice if you do something silly like shave up to your chin or jaw. Frankly, it's something that you should learn not to do by the time you're 20 and it really doesn't help appearances.

 

Not saying it's what you do, but hopefully someone else who does and they can consider their lives officially saved.

 

Truth be told, and I know you said you don't want to hear it, but losing fat is about the best thing you can do for your face. It's the only way to get any of those rigid features unless you've been blessed genetically. Personally, even when I was

[Loriana]

I don't think you can really improve your face, it's what you're born with it makes up a part of who you are.

 

Trying to match up to "standards" is probably where you are going wrong.

 

Sure you can try different haircuts and cut your beard differently but you are still going to look like you.

 

I think instead of trying to change your face you should learn to love and accept it, as I said it's a part of you.

[John John]

Oh Dougie...

 

The things you can chance about your face:

1. The visibility of your jaw (to a degree, from losing body fat all over your body)

2. General hair grooming (I too have to watch my unibrow), such as your eyebrows, beard, and nose hair. Choose a hairstyle that compliments your facial structure.

3. Your teeth - critically important for women (make sure they are straight and at least decently white, don't need to be like Ross from Friends)

4. Your skin (I use tea tree oil and manuka honey for spot treatment for zits, and wash with Cetaphil Gentle Foaming Cleanser)

 

That's about it. I feel like we've told you these things in the past, but you refuse to act on any of it. I changed a lot of these...when I had graduated college, I was a mess and quite "ugly-ish" compared to now. I was never fat, but after college I went abroad to Europe for 2 months...when I came back, I was like 190 lbs at only 5'8.5"...my teeth (while never terrible, and I never had an actual need for braces) needed improvement, I needed to improve my hairstyle. After my friends called me "fat," (I'm glad they did) I lost all that weight (and have kept it off ever since), fixed my teeth...and this all greatly improved my confidence and yeah, my overall appearance. I have a great facial structure granted (strong square jaw), but you'd never know it when it was covered under layers of blubber...so yes...losing weight makes a huge difference in both your face and your body (all for the positive).

 

I guarantee if you put some effort in to maximize your looks, you'll feel much better about yourself. Thing is, I don't believe you'll ever actually take action. So, not sure why I'm even typing this, but I'm home sick today and kinda bored...so whatever.

[j.man]

I don't think you can really improve your face, it's what you're born with it makes up a part of who you are.

 

Trying to match up to "standards" is probably where you are going wrong.

 

Sure you can try different haircuts and cut your beard differently but you are still going to look like you.

 

I think instead of trying to change your face you should learn to love and accept it, as I said it's a part of you.

To extent, you're right. If you're talking nose shape, bone structure, ears, whatever, then yeah, acceptance is important.

 

However, there's so much you can do and really should do from a general grooming and hygenic standpoint. Weight loss will sharpen up your features. Washing your face/hair will help with hygiene related acne. Brushing your teeth and, if you're an avid coffee or wine drinker, whitening them on occasion will show you care about your dental health and appearance.

 

There are some things you genuinely can't help. There are some people I've seen who are incredibly fit but still have a double chin. Some people have a lot of gum in their natural smile. Some people who super-hooked noses. Some people have abnormal birthmarks on their face. Plenty of people are willing to overlook those things, but there's no denying they are misfortunes aesthetically speaking. However, there are so many things you can improve on while still having pride in what your genes have given you.

[Fudgie]

^ Very true. Most people have some aesthetic imperfections that can't be helped. What are you going to do about it? Just do your best to look your best and that's all you can do.

[Loriana]

Yeah I was talking more about things you can't change like your eyes, nose, lips, etc.

 

I think everything you just explained is basic common sense though and I'm sure OP does all of the above things as it's basic hygiene.

 

But I thought I would talk about acceptance as OP has already been given some great advice on grooming and hygiene, etc.

[John John]

But I thought I would talk about acceptance as OP has already been given some great advice on grooming and hygiene, etc.

 

You're quite right...self acceptance of things you can't change is very important.

 

But there's a difference between self acceptance and blatant laziness. I feel like Dougie is just lazy and wants us to tell him that everything will be all right for him without him having to lift a finger. That isn't true for anyone, I don't really think. We all have to or ought to make a good faith effort to be our best. I think even if people aren't blessed with model looks, there's a certain respect that comes from seeing someone work hard to look the best they can. Not to mention the internal confidence it precipitates.

[Loriana]

You're quite right...self acceptance of things you can't change is very important.

 

But there's a difference between self acceptance and blatant laziness. I feel like Dougie is just lazy and wants us to tell him that everything will be all right for him without him having to lift a finger. That isn't true for anyone, I don't really think. We all have to or ought to make a good faith effort to be our best. I think even if people aren't blessed with model looks, there's a certain respect that comes from seeing someone work hard to look the best they can. Not to mention the internal confidence it precipitates.

 

I don't think Dougle gave us enough information for us to have the opinion that he is lazy, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. I understand that trying to look our best is important, but Dougle did say he tried losing weight before and he lost it everywhere else but his face so sometimes no matter how much someone loses weight their face still might remain the same. So if he is insecure about this then that's why I was talking about acceptance especially if it's something he can't seem to change.

[John John]

Maybe not so much in this post, but if you've read his past posts, you'll see what I mean. I genuinely wish him the best and hope he turns things around, but he never takes any of our advice (or at least, it doesn't seem like he does).

[Loriana]

Maybe not so much in this post, but if you've read his past posts, you'll see what I mean. I genuinely wish him the best and hope he turns things around, but he never takes any of our advice (or at least, it doesn't seem like he does).

 

Oh really I haven't read any of his other posts, I see where you got your opinion from now. Well I hope he takes our advice on this thread.

[Capttrae]

Forget shaving or trimming the beard. Let it grow!!!! Same thing w/ your hair. Every morning get up, wash hair and beard, get the knots out of it and put on a hat. Works for me anyway. Haven't had a haircut in prolly a year, not goin to get a haircut anytime soon either. I get my beard trimmed every couple months. Except for the mustache now that gets trimmed every time I get off the boat. Can't stand gettin food and junk in my mustache.

[tiredofvampires]

Let's not talk about my personality also.

 

You mean, let's not talk about why you actually don't have a girl in your life?

 

It's not that your OP question isn't a valid/reasonable one for someone to ask, it's just that it wouldn't be the game-changer for women with you. So for you, this is asking how to ice the cake when there's no cake.

[Dougie_D]

^ Very true. Most people have some aesthetic imperfections that can't be helped. What are you going to do about it? Just do your best to look your best and that's all you can do.

 

I have this for sure. Now I regret not taking my parents offer to do plastic surgery. I guess they were trying to help me and I just didn't think anything was wrong with my facial features.

 

I was 15-16? at the time.

[tiredofvampires]

No, your parents were being controlling, narcissistic, neurotic, invasive, and emotionally destructive. These were the people that made you feel defective and like a shame to their image, remember? Hardly worth trusting.

[boltnrun]

Dougie, I looked at your picture and I don't see anything "wrong" with your face.

 

Haven't you ever seen men with imperfect faces who have girlfriends and wives? I see lots of men who would not generally be considered good looking who are in relationships. Heck, there's a guy I work with who was in a bad accident when he was younger that basically ruined the top half of one side of his face and caused his eye to kind of turn the wrong way. He's married to a nice looking woman. Another guy is pretty short (about 5'5"), overweight, has acne and wears glasses. He has a wife and two children.

 

It's not all about the face, Dougie.

[chitown9]

Dougie finally fessed up in one of his previous threads that he starts these threads to get attention. That is the reason he does not pay any attention to suggestions. Knowing this, I no longer respond to any of his threads with advice of any kind...... Just a word for the wise. chi

[notalady]

I know a lot of unattractive men (facial feature wise) who are married to/in relationship with nice looking ladies. Just looking at your photo, I'd say you're more attractive than some of these guys. It's not your face.

 

Others have offered good advice though regarding grooming and maximising what you got.