Coldarmy13 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 "I forgot I made plans to do something later tonight already. Not sure when ill be done. May have to do something tomorrow?" W..T..F.. What do I \say now?! Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 She did that last time, remember? Kept putting you off. You insisted you didn't want to break up over text or over the phone, so you waited several days until she finally allowed you to come over. Then you backed down on breaking up because she cuddled you and was acting nice, which put you back on cloud 9 and killed your resolve. So you convinced yourself all was fine and you could deal with it. I could go through the effort of finding my previous post where I predicted this would happen over and over, but that takes work and I'm feeling lazy today. But this is the hamster wheel you've been on for at least a few weeks now. YOU have all the power to decide what YOU want to do. Nothing depends on her. If you're tired of being put off and of being shown such a minimal amount of affection and attention, you know what to do. Hanging on hoping she'll "change" or trying to convince yourself you can "change" is an exercise in futility. It's a matter of YOU deciding how long you want to go on like this. Several weeks? Six months? Six YEARS? Or get off the hamster wheel now? Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 She cancelled her own plans with me 3 days in a row then. So I guess it was 4 days then, not 7. Either way, youre right. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 She did that last time, remember? Kept putting you off ... I agree. I feel like this same thing has happened at least twice before. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Oh dear. I finally read this entire thread all the way through, and....all I can say is, you need to get out of this. This girl is NOT sure what she wants at all, and she is jerking you around big time. This thread started in January, and you're STILL in this place? Aren't you sick of this yet? I mean, I got anxious just reading all of this! Reminds me so much of my ex and how he used to jerk me around. UGH. Don't you deserve better? I think you should respond to her latest text with something like, "It sounds like you aren't really available -- to make plans or for anything else. Maybe we should both cut our losses and move on." OR, just don't respond to her at all. To do anything other than cut this off now is doing a serious disservice to yourself. P.S. Read the quote in my signature line. This describes your situation to a "T." You are deciding against yourself here. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I actually wrote "several" days, not "seven" days. But whether it was seven or several is irrelevant. The point is, you're right here where you were a couple months ago. This is 24 pages of the exact same issue. If you go see her and she cuddles you, I'm guessing you'll get all starry eyed and decide to stay with her. And maybe a couple of weeks will go by before you start feeling neglected and anxious again. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I actually wrote "several" days, not "seven" days. But whether it was seven or several is irrelevant. The point is, you're right here where you were a couple months ago. This is 24 pages of the exact same issue. If you go see her and she cuddles you, I'm guessing you'll get all starry eyed and decide to stay with her. And maybe a couple of weeks will go by before you start feeling neglected and anxious again. I suspect it will be less than a couple weeks. I think it'll be only a few days. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 If you read all of the old thread and this one.. bravo to you! My friends know all of this and they all insist I don't respond to her. I haven't yet, have to decide what im going to do if she actually does ask to see me tomorrow. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 I actually wrote "several" days, not "seven" days. But whether it was seven or several is irrelevant. The point is, you're right here where you were a couple months ago. This is 24 pages of the exact same issue. If you go see her and she cuddles you, I'm guessing you'll get all starry eyed and decide to stay with her. And maybe a couple of weeks will go by before you start feeling neglected and anxious again. Honestly, im really so fed up and pissed about this, that I could honestly care less if she cuddles up to me tomorrow. Not without me saying my peace. Its taken everything the last hour or so not to tell her to kick rocks and probably go off on a tangent. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 This your post from March 9th. After that, she agreed to be Facebook Official, right? So you were all happy. Then the bliss lasted only, what? Two weeks or less? Link to comment
janut1 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 You seem to want to have a face to face talk first just to be sure. So what if she wants to talk tomorrow or the next day? I actually think she will put it off just like she did before. I think she even told you that she doesn't want to talk about stuff like this. She used other words, but I don't feel like looking it up. So yea sure why not wait another day and see if she wants to talk. I have to say she is so cold and she is jerking you around. I doubt she has anything going on tonight. I just couldn't even take it one more day. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 You have had 27 "face to face" attempts at talking "this" out. There is nothing to say. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 You seem to want to have a face to face talk first just to be sure. So what if she wants to talk tomorrow or the next day? I actually think she will put it off just like she did before. I think she even told you that she doesn't want to talk about stuff like this. She used other words, but I don't feel like looking it up. So yea sure why not wait another day and see if she wants to talk. I have to say she is so cold and she is jerking you around. I doubt she has anything going on tonight. I just couldn't even take it one more day. Ill live until tomorrow. It is really hard to try and wait one more day. If I bothered to respond to her today, theres no telling what id say. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 You have had 27 "face to face" attempts at talking "this" out. There is nothing to say. Yep, and, according to Coldarmy, she said this is just the way she is. "Talking" doesn't change people. She is who she is and, as we've all said before, you can honestly and sincerely be satisfied with how she is or you can break up. There's no third option. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 Also, forgot that you made plans to "do something"? How about give me a good reason?! Don't know that im going to be able to make it to tomorrow. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Because last time she was able to put you off for a few days and then she was able to convince you to jettison your breakup plans by cuddling with you. She knows if she can put you off for a few days, you will lose your resolve. Remember, SHE'S getting everything she needs out of this relationship. So why should she want things to change? Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 Thinking of texting "Must be some plans." Then when she tells me what they are or makes some up.. I feel like saying if it isn't tonight or tomorrow night, don't bother. Or maybe even that it needs to be tonight? I feel like I need to really stick up for myself instead of just going dark. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 How about..."I am done with this non relationship. Goodbye" Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 How about..."I am done with this non relationship. Goodbye" mhowe, I don't know what my deal is with not being able to just do that.. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 mhowe, I don't know what my deal is with not being able to just do that.. We're all just as puzzled as you are. She is so, so jerking you around, and you're letting her. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 It is beyond letting her. You are actively, purposely going over time and time again so she can spit in your face. And you wipe it off and say "catch you later...Tues good for you? Link to comment
janut1 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 It is beyond letting her. You are actively, purposely going over time and time again so she can spit in your face. And you wipe it off and say "catch you later...Tues good for you? That is exactly it! You nailed it. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 So telling her that it needs to be tonight otherwise forget about it and dumping her is too much? Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 NOOOOOOO. Text her: I am done. Good bye. You ha e proven to yourself you are incapable of going over and ending it. So stop trying to do it that way. Text her and be done. Link to comment
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