reinventmyself Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 I agree with stepping back. If a guy being a bit nervous and giggling instantly makes you think he may have insecurities - and be as bad as M - it's probably too soon. Valid point! I am getting texts from the guy I met Sunday night. The exact type of texts that I don't want from someone I only had a meet n' greet with. Overly familiar. . `your lips look kissable' etc. Ugh . . Does that really work for women? I pulled my profile for the time being. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Eww... really? Gross. Take some time for you. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Eww... really? Gross. Take some time for you. easy 'nuff Link to comment
Larkin Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I am getting texts from the guy I met Sunday night. The exact type of texts that I don't want from someone I only had a meet n' greet with. Overly familiar. . `your lips look kissable' etc. Ugh . . Does that really work for women? LOL This reminds me of a dating experience a friend's mother had once. At the end of a date she'd had with a guy she hadn't known previously, the guy popped the question. Pointing at her chest, he asked, "So, when do I get to see these?" Smoothe. Link to comment
notalady Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 LOL This reminds me of a dating experience a friend's mother had once. At the end of a date she'd had with a guy she hadn't known previously, the guy popped the question. Pointing at her chest, he asked, "So, when do I get to see these?" Smoothe. Haha...I sure hope that happened in the 1960s Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 Omg, that hilarious! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 25, 2015 Author Share Posted October 25, 2015 A couple weeks ago I went out with a group of friends to a restaurant where a local band was playing. I have a large circle of friends, girls, guys and that group spins out into other people they know. I was a fun night where most people knew each other to some degree or another. I danced a few times with a guy that some people in my group knew well. I didn't think much of it. He was nice enough. Two weeks later this same group is having our annual end of summer beach party. California typically has warm weather thru the beginning of October and this is the 3rd year we've had this party and the weather was perfect. The same guy I danced with that night was there and made his way over to sit next to me and I was a little flattered. We were all discussing Halloween costumes and he started in on his being`Prince Charming' every year and carries around a stripper shoe. As he continued to share more it turns out he owns stock in well known strip clubs and the guys started grilling him with questions. He's primary career is financial planning and by looking at him you would never guess. The more he talked the smarmier he sounded. I listened to the conversation and didn't say a word. When people went back to mulling around and socializing he looks at me and asks `you don't like me anymore, do you?" I laughed it off and dodged giving him a direct answer, after all I didn't know him well enough to like him to begin with. The jury was still out.. . until that moment. Days later I get a Facebook friend request from him. I didn't accept but his privacy level is open so I can see his page. This 50 something year old man has several `friends' that are young scantily clad young girls from the Philippines. Aarrgh. . I am not ready to date yet. Works still really too busy, working overtime and I am trying to adjust my attitude. This didn't help. . one bit! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 7, 2015 Author Share Posted November 7, 2015 In the middle of work madness and working well over 50 hours last week I put my profile up??? Once again getting random responses, too young, too old, too far and 'squatters' (those who I recognize as being on there for several yrs at a time) I figure I have nothing to loose, so I `liked' someone's profile and really didn't think much of it and logged off. For the past few days we've chatted, emailed and text and I finally met him last night. It was nice meeting. He was handsome, interesting and has led a very interesting life. He's an ex DEA Pilot, retired young and flying privately for a wealthy business owner. At the same time he was real and not very impressed with himself. I can't say I was wowed, but I am interested. I think my caution doesn't allow me to be wowed any more. Not sure, but something to think about. I am thinking that the kink in the chain may be that we live an hour away from each other. In So Cal one hour can easily translate into two on any given day. That doesn't concern me that much because my last serious relationship lived an hour away so I know the drill, but I could tell it may of concern for him. Long distance, even if it's an hour isn't for everyone. So either way I have to be ok with the outcome. Factor in my job, long hours and commuting it doesn't allow much for daily dates. So we'll see. He definitely had a lot of questions about logistics so I know it's on his radar. His schedule is unpredictable and he's often gone for days flying this family around. He text me last night to tell me he got home in good time and how much he enjoyed our evening. Today he flies out to another state to spend 5 days with his two sons and their families. That's it for now. . . Link to comment
notalady Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 I think just take it one day at a time. I don't think bring wowed right away is a good thing. Letting things build up is way better so just "interested" sounds like a good start! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 8, 2015 Author Share Posted November 8, 2015 I woke this morning to find an email from him. I am impressed that he took the time away from his family to reach out with a very nice note asking to see me again. Part of me is pleased, the other part of me feels resistant. I have said good bye to so many people in my life. I find myself quickly settling into single hood and not sure I want the drama in my life. The surest way to not have to say good bye to someone is to not say hello. I wrestle with continuing my life as it is or giving this another try. I waffle back and forth. I do know that the more time that passes the smaller that window of opportunity becomes and the more I become set in my ways. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 15, 2015 Author Share Posted November 15, 2015 I had my date with S yesterday. We both took the train and met half way in a quaint little resort town at 2 in the afternoon. He was even more handsome than I remember. We walked around looking at the sites. Visited a museum and one of the missions, stopped listen to music, had dinner and ended at another place to listen to music. Overall a good 9 hour date. The conversation was easy and non stop. I think we were pretty much talked out by the end of the evening. Again I notice I know more about another man with in a few short hours than I ever knew about Mark in 6 mos and vice versa. He has a full life and a nice network of friends, which always isn't the case at my age. I meet a lot of lonely men who seem lost and looking for someone to fill them up. Not the case with S. My last serious relationship was in 2011 and it's been a while since I felt that attraction and chemistry about someone. But at the same time Im holding back and not getting ahead of myself. My train left first and while we were waiting in cold he wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm. Up to this point he hadn't even try to hold my hand, so it was sweet and welcomed. I am 5' 8"so having a 6'2" handsome man wrap his arms around me was the perfect ending to a nice evening. The only negative that stood out to me and because of my experience with Mark it's a sensitive one is S might be a little non assertive. Not to be confused with passive, but not on the assertive spectrum. At least not with me. Interestingly, given his career, because I know these civil servant types, they tend to swing more on the arrogant, ego driven side. Not S. He seemed to want me make all the decisions about our day and at one point he mentioned he's better at being a follower not a leader. I responded that I am neither and prefer things to be equally shared. He said he liked my response. We walked about looking at all the restaurants and I could tell he would have been happy to have me pick one. I told him `nope, I am following you" with a smile on my face. He was waffling in front of particular place and I had to tell him `just pull the trigger and pick one" Again smiling and trying to be playful. He is no where near being as passive as Mark but I guess having been recently been thru it it's way too much on my radar. Not a problem but something to definitely keep my eye on. He's in town at an airport near one of my offices on Thursday, so I will see him that night. On Sunday I drive south to his area to work for two days and we have tentative plans to see each other while I'm in town. So far so good came back to add. . Now I can't make this stuff up, but just as send this and I am rereading it, Mark texts me. It's been a 2 or 3 weeks since he has. BUT since he's blocked I get a notification that he's tried. I can't see the content and I am under the assumption he gets a non deliverable notification as well. This seems to be typical coincidental odd timing to men mishaps in my life that don't seem surprise me anymore. . I often feel I have some sort of tracking device on me. Link to comment
notalady Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 Sounds like a lovely date! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 16, 2015 Author Share Posted November 16, 2015 . .It's been a long time since after a good online date, your date stops logging on. . and continues to contact you. Link to comment
notalady Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 That sounds positive! Link to comment
WithLove Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 Glad that you're keeping Mark blocked. He's not good for your mental health. Still can't believe how childish he was at the bitter end, to be honest. Also glad you had a good time with S. Not sure how wise it is seeing someone that's not going to be a constant in your life, but as long as you're both open and honest with each other, have fun and enjoy it!! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 Glad that you're keeping Mark blocked. He's not good for your mental health. Still can't believe how childish he was at the bitter end, to be honest. I can only imagine that the text from Mark was either a picture of his food or some lame sticker. Sure don't miss those days! As far as the 'constant' Even if he lives around the corner, my schedule and commute limits the amount of time I can spend with someone anyway. Not a big deal for me. I don't require much. It may of concern for him tho. We will see. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 I saw S last night. He was in my area at a local airport picking up the plane that had just come in for service. With no notice he offers me a ride!? No time to think about it and we took off went to the coast, circled and came back. It was attractive seeing him in his element and all his years of experience showed. It happened so quickly I still haven't processed and I'm smiling at the funny things that cross my path when I'm open to it. From there we went to dinner by the coast. Conversations are easy with him and time flies. This morning I'm on the train south for a meeting and he's offered to pick me up after. Logistically we'll have an hour but that's fine. I don't want him to get tired of me. I'll return south for work Sunday thru Tues and I'll see him again. We figured we'd take full advantage of all this time seeing my project in our southern office will be complete need week and I won't have a reason to return (for work) for some time. I got a sweet kiss last night with thrilled me. Mostly because I hated the way Mark kissed and avoided it. With S it was just right. .I love kissing and it really sets the tone for me and if a man's a good kisser then I'm interested! Having said that, what was I thinking with Mark?!. . Well, that's all I'll say on that I really like that S is so mature and has just right balance when contacting not very much. Maybe once a day. My past experiences I've had grown men set my phone on fire with nonsense. I started losing sight of how normal adults should communicate. So, I am a little excited about this but aren't we all in the beginning? One day at a time Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk Link to comment
WithLove Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 I'm detecting that you're a bit smitten, but trying really hard to play it 'cool'. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 Ha ha. Maybe. I'm just so used to going in hopeful, as it should be and then being disappointed. Just trying to be smart here and not get ahead of my self. But yes, I think I may be smitten. One minor negative is he's a little bit of a pleaser. I hope that settles down. But then again I waited 6 mos for Mark to settle down and it never happened. I feel bad comparing the two but I don't want to go through any version of that again Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk Link to comment
WithLove Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Just try to remember what this started out as. A friend that passes through your city very occasionally. Because in reality, that's all this really is, and possibly all it can be. I don't want to burst your hopeful bubble, but just be very clear to yourself on what you're looking for, okay? Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 He lives an hour away. My last serious relationship was 90 mins away and that lasted 3 years Link to comment
WithLove Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Oh, for some reason, I thought he was someone that traveled into your city a few times a year and that was it. I don't know where I got that from! Never mind, carry on Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 Oh, for some reason, I thought he was someone that traveled into your city a few times a year and that was it. I don't know where I got that from! Never mind, carry on Maybe because I travel to his? I am here now. .a mere hour away from home . .thx WL (ok an hour and 15 to be exact) Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 S picked me up from the office and took me to the train. We shared an hour over coffee and chatted. He seemed really unsure of himself, asking permission and apologizing for random things. My heart sinks and my attraction suddenly shifts. Flash backs of Mark come rushing in. What is this about? ?? I seem to attract one extreme to another. I just want to meet a man who has a basic balance of the two. Confidence and humility. Too much to ask for? I dunno anymore Frustrated Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk Link to comment
notalady Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Did he do this before as well? Link to comment
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