Should I dump boyfriend for calling me a <edited>

[CED]

My boyfriend hurt his elbow so I've been sat in A & E for over 5 hours with him. I hadn't had tea so I was starving by the time we left and wanted to get home for some food. He asked whether I would drive him to his friends to pick up some w.e.e.d. I said no, not only because I was starving and tired, but because I'm not picking up drugs for him.

 

He then called me a . He rang up his other friend and asked if he had any and was very polite when he told him he didn't. I was mad, he said I was "blowing things up and took it too literally". I dropped him of at his and drove off. He text me when I got home saying "don't know what's wrong with you". I didn't reply and he later text me saying he was sorry and didn't mean it, and he was in the wrong. I'm having trouble forgiving him that easily though, it's really hurt me. He also text me saying "don't be angry, i'm sorry! " and I felt as though he was trivializing things. I told him I had a right to be angry after how disrespectful he was and he didn't even bother replying to that text, but continues to text about unrelated issues like nothings wrong, even though I've told him how upset I've been.

 

It's upset me especially because of how much effort i've gone driving around to different clinics and waiting in hospital with him all night. It's also his birthday this week and I've put a lot of thought into his present but now i don't even feel like giving it him. It breaks my heart thinking of breaking up with him but i'm also having trouble accepting his apology. What do I do?

[Seraphim]

Yes, definitely dump him.

[weathergirl]

After sitting with him for five hours, and that's what he calls you because you won't pick up weed? It will only get worse CED...so yes dump him now. He's a verbal abuser... get out now.

[milly007]

Yes, dump him! I wouldn't think twice. What he called you (and how he treated you) is a sign of disrespect. Find someone who respects you.

[lukeb]

It is really impossible to say, because there are a million different ways to say you are a , and that is really important in how he said it and how he meant it. Was it jokingly, angry, or whatever, and that is important. To me it would be too trivial an incident to break up with someone, if I was to break up with someone after making a commitment it would have to be something more than a fairly minor insult, or something that might not have been an insult at all. Certainly this would be something someone could apologize for and I could move past it, if I was so insulted. No I wouldn't dump him for that, but I am not you. On this site most people would dump someone for farting at the wrong time so I would take the advice on here with a grain of salt, that includes mine

[Longview01]

Dump him? Hell i'd marry this loser so he can abuse me 24/7!

[ThatwasThen]

He needs someone that smokes with him and doesn't mind taking him to pick it up. If you won't drive him to get it then you're not an enabler which means you're basically incompatible (regardless if he called you a profanity or not) and you'll not last a lifetime anyway as you become less and less intolerable of his drug use. The name calling is yet another reason to end it now.

[ParisPaulette]

Name calling when it's uncalled for is definitely a serious red flag of the "this person has serious potential to turn abusive on an escalating basis. And calling you that name, because you won't drive him somewhere to pick up dope after you've spent hours helping him. Uh, doubly so. Serious red flags here and it's only going to get worse since his actions show he thinks he's in the right for calling you a (blank).

[jjkk]

My personal take on it is it depends on the big picture. First of all, how long have you two been together? Has he called you names before? If you've been together a couple of months, I'd be wary of things to come...if you've been together several years and he's never called you a name before and is normally respectful and kind, I'd let it slide.

 

Also as lukeb said, the tone of it matters, too. Did he call you that in the midst of yelling at you or was it more like an off hand remark? Matter of fact? Just being an immature jack@$$ thinking it's funny?

 

Basically if he regularly calls you names, insults you, gets mad that you aren't his chauffeur for drugs, then I'd lean more towards not a good match and good riddance. Also if it's a new relationship and there was anger behind his remark, then probably consider calling it off or at least tread carefully and not let any other red flags slide. If it's an isolated incident and overall things are good w/ him and you've been together for a long time, then nope, I'd let him know that crosses a boundary for you and please never do it again.

 

It's important to look at the big picture.

[faraday]

Is this the guy your last two threads (made in the last month) are about?

 

He ditches you all the time to hang out with friends...and texts other women....

 

Why are you still with this guy?

.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Stay_home]

Suggesting you make a trip for him to purchase drugs is not only illegal but it also adds you into the mix. I haven't got to the part about him calling you a [insert expletive]. Should I go any further? I don't think he could be anymore obvious that it's about him in this relationship and not you.

[Ms Darcy]

Is this the guy your last two threads (made in the last month) are about?

 

He ditches you all the time to hang out with friends...and texts other women....

 

And he does drugs. And he called you a name. And he didn't appreciate all of your help this week.

 

Just end it already.

[ThatwasThen]

There's the big picture spelled out loud and clear.

 

... again, you're not meant to last a lifetime with this DB... why are you delaying the inevitable. Surely you want to be free and clear and have processed the ending of this so that you are free in heart and mind to find a good man who you are meant to last a lifetime with... Surely?